DISCLAIMER: They made me do it, honest, they did.  I have no control
over these impulses!  Paramount and Viacom own all things Star Trek,
including Voyager, Tom, B'Elanna, and the whole crew!  But if they didn't
want me adding "missing scenes," they wouldn't leave them out of the
episodes, right?  Let me know what you think at AnnitaS@aol.com.  As
always, be kind.

This story hypothesizes on several unseen portions of the episode "Random
Thoughts."  Thanks to by beta readers Cait and Jeff (no, you don't know
these guys, but they've been nice enough to lend me their brains for a little
assist.).  Blame me for any typos, bad grammar or holes in the plot; blame
WordPerfect for any misspelled words.  Most of all, blame TPTB for this
story seeing the light of website!  Hope you like it.  This story is rated PG-13.


                     THE PRICE
                     By Neetz

     The screen went dark and Tom Paris heard the captain sigh heavily
behind him.  He dropped his eyes toward the panel before him, but he
wasn't seeing the helm controls.  In his mind, all he could see were images
of a scene that could be playing out at that very moment:  B'Elanna being
dragged against her will into a white room, strapped to a table, with a
doctor peering down at her.  B'Elanna struggling, being held down on the
table as an array of equipment was aimed at her skull.  Lights beginning to
blink, the device beginning to pulse, and B'Elanna beginning to scream. 
His hands grasped the edge of his console and he closed his eyes, but that
only made the images come that much more clearly as he fought against the
panic he felt welling up within him.
     "Tom," came the captain's whispered voice, and he felt her hand
come to rest gently on his shoulder.  It was a familiar gesture from Janeway
to her helmsman, but this time, he found no comfort in the touch.  Instead,
it seemed to send a jolt of electricity through him and he leapt to his feet,
spinning to face his commanding officer.
     "Captain, I can't... we can't, just sit here and let this happen!  We
can stop them.  We can..."
     Janeway was shaking her head, her expression almost unbearably
sad.  "It's too late, Tom.  All we can do now is wait and hope the Mari are
as proficient at this procedure as they claim and that the doctor can reverse
any damage they do.  Maybe Tuvok..."
     "That's not good enough!" he cried.  "And Tuvok could be lying
dead down there somewhere, for all the Mari care!"  He saw her flinch at
his words, but he couldn't let it stop him.  "Captain, B'Elanna could end up
with brain damage.  She could even die!  We've got to stop this!"  He
started to move around her, but her hands came up to grasp his arms
firmly.
     "No, Tom, we can't use violence against the peaceful inhabitants of
a friendly planet..."
     "Friendly?" Tom cried, disdain in his voice.
     "Yes, friendly.  You know the fundamental principles of first
contact with a new race.  We have to respect and abide by their laws."
     "Even if it costs B'Elanna her life?" Tom asked in disbelief.
     Janeway swallowed hard before she answered.  "Yes.  Sometimes
living up to our ideals comes at a high price, but how much greater a price
would we pay if we abandoned them?  I know it's hard for you to accept..."
     Tom shook his head.  "I can't accept it, Captain, and I won't!"
     "Mr. Paris."  All gentleness had disappeared from the captain's
voice, her tone instead colored with warning.
     Paris' eyes turned toward the First Officer who had stood silently
just behind the captain throughout this exchange.  "You promised," he
accused.  "You said if the diplomatic efforts and Tuvok's investigation
failed, you'd recommend my rescue plan."
     Chakotay's eyes met Paris'.  "The captain's right, Tom.  There's no
time to execute any kind of rescue that wouldn't put the planet's inhabitants
at risk.  It would just make matters worse."
     How could they be any worse?
     "Then you *were* lying to me after all," Tom accused.
     Chakotay shook his head.  "No.  I told you, she's the boss.  The
final decision was always the captain's."
     "Tom," Janeway tried once more to coax her pilot out of his anger,
"None of us wanted this to happen and I know how hard this is for you."
     "Do you?" he asked.  "Remember, Captain, I've been there.  I was
convicted of a murder I didn't commit.  Those people screwed around with
my engrams and it almost killed me.  You wouldn't let that happen to me. 
Why are you letting it happen to B'Elanna?  The Mari don't know how their
'engramatic extraction' will work on an alien brain.  They don't have any
idea what the effects of their operation will be on a half-Klingon, half-human.  Captain, this is B'Elanna.  You can't ask me to just sit here and let
this happen."  He started to push his way around her, but her hands held on
tight and she forced him to look back at her.
     "I am asking you to do just that.  Mr. Paris, return to your station."
     "No, Captain," he replied shaking his head.  "I'm sorry, but I can't."
     "That's an order, Lieutenant."
     "No!" he cried and wrenching away from her, but Chakotay
stepped between him and the turbolift.
     "Get out of my way, Chakotay."  Paris' voice was hard edged and
full of desperation.
     "This isn't the way, Tom."
     "Lieutenant Paris, you are relieved of duty and confined to your
quarters until further notice."  The captain's tone was firm and
commanding.
     Tom turned toward her once more, his eyes pleading and filled with
anguish.  "Please, Captain."  He saw a shiver run through her and the
slightest moment of hesitation in her eyes, before determination reasserted
itself.
     "Mr. Ayala?" she called to the ensign manning the tactical station. 
"Escort Mr. Paris to his quarters and see to it he stays there."  As she
issued the order, her eyes never left Tom's.  She watched something die in
those blue eyes before they closed in resignation.  He turned away from her
before opening them again.  Arms held tightly to his sides, fists clenched,
he walked forward into the turbolift ahead of Ayala.  Janeway stood and
watched as he turned back, but he didn't raise his eyes to meet hers again
before the lift doors closed.
     She let herself sag and felt Chakotay's hand at her elbow in support. 
As she started to turn toward him, her eyes met Harry Kim's.  There was
no bitterness in the young officer's expression, only sadness, pain and...
disappointment.  Janeway couldn't bear to look at him any longer and
turned away to gaze to the darkened viewscreen.
     She felt rather than saw Chakotay step up silently next to her.
     "What have I done, Chakotay?" the captain asked, her voice barely
above a whisper.
     "You're the captain.  You did what you felt you had to do," he
replied.
     "Maybe so," she replied as she turned to look at her second in
command, "but can I live with the price I may have to pay?  We could lose
B'Elanna, at least the B'Elanna we know.  And if that happens, I think we'll
lose Tom as well."  She was very much afraid she'd already lost him.  Of all
the crew of Voyager, Tom Paris was the one person who's personal loyalty
to her had never been in question.  She hadn't truly realized until this
moment just how much that loyalty had meant to her.  "Can I be so sure
I'm right?"
     Chakotay started to reply, but only sighed and dropped his eyes.
     There was no answer he could make, she realized.  Janeway nodded
and took a deep breath.  "Keep scanning the planet.  Find Tuvok.  And
keep a channel open to the Mari constabulary headquarters.  I'll be in my
ready room."
     Before she had reached the door, Harry's excited voice called to
her.  "Captain!  I'm getting a signal from Tuvok!"
     She spun toward him, her eyes wide with renewed hope, silently
praying they weren't too late.
                        ***
     Tom Paris paced back and forth, trying desperately to hold on to
the slim hope that the captain was right, that B'Elanna would survive the
purge and return to them, her mind intact.  He walked toward the door,
only to stop short, as he had countless times since being confined to
quarters.  The door was secured and he knew Ayala was standing guard
outside.  Even knowing it was senseless, he raised his fists and pounded
against the door in frustration.
     "I'm sorry, Lieutenant.  I wish there was some other way."
     The sad resignation in the former Maquis officer's voice cut through
Tom's anger in a way no other response could have and he sagged against
the door.
     "I know," he said quietly, too quietly for Ayala to hear.
     He turned and leaned his back against the door, eyes still squeezed
tightly shut.  It was too late now anyway.  By now, the procedure was
probably already completed.  His mind called up an image of B'Elanna, as
she had been just a few days ago, laughing and teasing him as they shared a
meal in the messhall.  Without warning, the image shifted to another,
darker scene: B'Elanna, sitting in a chair before him, her features lacking
any expression, her eyes dull and lifeless.  Gone were the mischievous smile
and the fiery spirit of the woman he had fallen in love with.
     No!  He shoved the image out of his mind.  She would be all right. 
She had to be.  He couldn't accept that he had lost her.  He couldn't accept
that he had... failed her.
     The anger began to well up again within him.  Anger at the Mari for
their stupid code of justice that made a crime of the very spirit which made
B'Elanna who she was.  Anger at Chakotay for giving him hope that never
existed.  And anger at the captain for...
     For what?  For having the courage to accept the only course her
own sense of honor and principles would allow her to take?  No, he wanted
to hate Janeway for failing B'Elanna... for failing... him.  But a part of his
mind, the small part that hadn't been overwhelmed by emotion, wouldn't let
him.  He'd seen how much her decision had cost her.  Seen it in her eyes,
even as his had burned at her with accusation.  He knew, without a shred
of doubt, that if it were within her power, Kathryn Janeway would have
given her own life to save B'Elanna from pain or injury.  It was easy to
spout high-minded principles when you weren't faced with the price you'd
have to pay for upholding them.  And Tom Paris knew he could never be
the one to hold the captain accountable.  He, of all people, didn't have the
right.  Without those same qualities that had seemed to seal B'Elanna's fate,
Janeway wouldn't have been the captain who had brought this crew
through all the challenges they'd faced on this long journey.  Without this
same Kathryn Janeway, there would be no Tom Paris and no B'Elanna
Torres to love him.
     It would be so much easier if he could just hold on to the anger.  It
kept the pain of loss from sweeping him away.
     But he couldn't.
     And no matter how he cursed the Fates for the circumstances that
brought him to this moment in time, it wouldn't change a thing.  All that
was left to do now, as so many times before, was to face whatever those
Fates chose to throw at him.
     But if it meant B'Elanna was lost, did anything else matter?
     He opened his eyes and immediately they fell on the package still
sitting unopened on the table before the sofa.  The present he'd bought for
her... was it only yesterday?  He had so looked forward to watching her
reaction when she opened it.  Now, would it ever happen?  Slowly, he
crossed the room and sank to his knees before it, his hand moving toward it
of its own volition.  His fingers barely touched the wrapping, and a voice
seemed to whisper to his mind.
     Hold on.  Hold on to hope, no matter how small.  Don't give up on
her.
     "Please, B'Elanna," he whispered.  "Please come back to me."
     His fingers trembled as his vision blurred with tears that filled his
eyes and began to stream down his cheeks.
     Why had he allowed himself to believe he could find happiness now
when it had eluded him all his life?
     Hold on.
     There must have been something I could have done to prevent this.
     Don't give up.
     I failed you, B'Elanna.
     Hold on.
     The sound of the door chime shattered the warring voices within
him and cut through his heart like a knife.  This was it... the judgment was
about to be pronounced... on B'Elanna's life and on his.  Still trembling, he
pulled himself to his feet and turned to face the door before calling, "Come
in."
     The door opened and Kathryn Janeway stood framed within the
entrance, her expression unreadable in the darkened room.
     "Tom?"
     "Yes, Captain."
     She stepped inside, then hesitated, and in that moment, he found the
courage to do what he needed to do.  For himself and for his captain.
     "Before you say anything, Captain.  Before you tell me whatever it
is you've come here to tell me, I just want to say... I want you to know, I
understand you only did what you had to do and I was... wrong to question
you.  I know you'd have done anything you could to stop what was going
to happen.  I had no right..."
     Janeway quickly crossed the room, placing her hand over his mouth
to hold back the rest of what he had been about to say.  Tom had no idea
how strongly his words affected her.  She couldn't afford to let her
emotions overwhelm her now and she couldn't stand to make him wait one
second longer to hear what he needed to hear.
     "She's going to be all right, Tom.  Tuvok found the truth and we
were able to stop the purge."
     He didn't realize he had been holding his breath until he felt it all
rush out of him in one swift exhale.  His knees threatened to buckle, but the
captain hand grasped his arm and she firmly guided him to the sofa,
dropping down next to him.
     "They didn't... hurt her?"
     Janeway took a deep breath.  "They had already begun the
procedure."  At the look of alarm that returned to his features, she
continued on quickly, "But Chief Investigator Namira assured me she was
not harmed.  She's returned to the planet to facilitate B'Elanna's release. 
We're going to beam her directly to sickbay so the doctor can make sure
she's all right."
     His eyes flicked toward the door, but Janeway shook her head.
     "I can't release you from quarters yet, Tom.  You disobeyed orders
and you openly defied my authority in front of the bridge crew.  I can't
allow that to go unpunished, no matter how much I understand your
motivation."
     He sagged back against the sofa and nodded.  "It's all right,
Captain.  I understand."
     "Do you?" she asked.  "Can you?"
     His eyes met hers.  "Yes, Captain."
     "Tom, you and B'Elanna mean much more to me than just senior
officers.  You're a part of my family.  I'd do anything within my power to
keep either of you from being hurt."
     "But you're the captain of this ship.  And this whole crew has
become a kind of family.  You have to act for the good of everyone, and I
know how much that decision hurt you.  And I know that what I did...
what I said on the bridge hurt you, too.  I'm sorry, Captain."
     She smiled at him.  "I'm so proud of you, Tom.  And I want you to
know how much your understanding and your loyalty mean to me.  I was
afraid if B'Elanna didn't..."
     "I know.  So was I.  But even if... I could never hate you, Captain,"
he smiled.  "You're *my* family, too."
     She tilted her head, gave him a watery smile, then, took a deep
breath and got to her feet.
     "Thank you, Tom."
     He stood, and suddenly seemed to notice the moisture on his face. 
He quickly brushed his hand across his cheeks, obviously a little ill at ease
with the emotions he'd displayed.  It was so endearing, Janeway simply
couldn't resist.  She reached out and pulled him into a firm hug.  Tom was
startled for only a moment before wrapping his arms around her and
returning the embrace.  With one final squeeze, Janeway released him,
feeling his arms drop away almost reluctantly.  She laughed.  "Okay,
enough mushy stuff.  You're confined to quarters for the rest of the day,
but I expect you to report for duty first thing in the morning."
     "Aye, Captain," he replied, not quite able to keep the smile from his
tilting his lips.
     She walked to the door and turned back before leaving.  "Don't
worry.  I'm sure B'Elanna will be fine.  I'll keep you informed."
     "Thank you, Captain."
     With one last crooked smile and a firm nod to lend conviction to
her words, she turned and left, calling for Ayala to follow her.
     Tom stood staring at the door for a long time after she was gone,
then he turned and lifted the package from the table, wrapping his arms
around it and pulling it to him, almost as if it were a shield against the little
fears that still lingered in his heart.
     "You've got to be all right, B'Elanna."
                        ***
     "Fortunately, the Mari didn't get very far with the procedure," the
doctor pronounced with satisfaction as he finished his scans of Voyager's
chief engineer.  "You can return to duty, Lieutenant, though with one or
two fewer violent engrams in that fiery head of yours."
     B'Elanna laughed.  "That's all right, Doc.  There are plenty more
where those came from."
     "Duly warned," the doctor replied as he turned away and headed
for his office.  He heard B'Elanna thanking Tuvok and the Vulcan's typical
denial that his actions were anything but a logical performance of his duty
to seek the truth.  As the sickbay doors closed behind them, the doctor
tapped his comm badge.
     "Doctor to Lieutenant Paris."
     "Yes, Doc?"  The response was quick and the tone obviously
anxious.
     The doctor allowed himself an affectionate smile.  "She's perfectly
fine, Tom."
     "Are you sure?"
     "Are you questioning my ability to perform a thorough
examination?"
     He heard Paris sigh in contentment.  "Not in a million years, Doc. 
Thanks."
     There was such relief and sincerity in that last word, the doctor
didn't even attempt a comeback, but responded with a warm "You're
welcome" before breaking the connection.
                        ***
     Chakotay heard B'Elanna and Tuvok's voices from around a bend
before he saw them.  He had to suppress a smile at the repartee between
the two.
     "Of course, there are various Vulcan techniques which could help
you increase your self control."
     "You don't say?"
     "Well, I see things are already getting back to normal," Chakotay
observed as they rounded the corner.
     "Just another day at the office," B'Elanna quipped.
     "No lasting effects?"
     "Nope," she replied.  "Doc gave me a clean bill of health.  Which
means, I suppose, I'm expected to return immediately to duty?"
     "Not quite yet," Chakotay told her.  He shared a look with Tuvok
and the Vulcan nodded almost imperceptibly.  "If you'll both excuse me, I
have a report to prepare."
     B'Elanna smiled as she watched the security officer take his leave,
then turned back to fall in step with Chakotay.  "You don't have to worry
about me, Chakotay.  It was a little hairy there for a moment, but I'm fine."
     "Yes, I know you are, and I'm grateful, and not just for your sake."
     She frowned.  "What's that supposed to mean?"
     He stopped and turned to face her.  "I hope you don't harbor any ill
feelings against the captain for not taking more direct action in getting you
out of there."
     She sighed.  "Well, at the risk of admitting to another criminal act, I
was a little angry at first that she'd allow them to put me through that
procedure."
     "And a little hurt?"
     "Maybe a little," she admitted.  "But her hands were tied.  I know
that.  And she and Tuvok did everything they could to prove my innocence. 
Tuvok even risked his life.  Besides, this is not the first time my temper has
got me in trouble, and I'm afraid it won't be the last.  No, Chakotay, you
don't have to worry.  I know the captain didn't abandon me."
     "Well, that's one down."
     B'Elanna narrowed her gaze at him.  "One?"
     "Let's just say there were some tense moments on the bridge when
Namira announced she was going ahead with the extraction."
     "Tense?"
     "You have quite a champion in Lieutenant Paris."
     "What are you talking about?"
     Chakotay shook his head.  "He was very worried about you,
B'Elanna."
     A little smile crept onto her face.  "Was he?"
     But Chakotay remained serious.  "Yes, he was.  In fact, he was
quite frantic.  He approached me about planning a rescue mission."
     "Really?"  She still didn't quite understand.
     "He was terrified, B'Elanna," Chakotay said flatly, and suddenly she
realized just how serious the first officer really was.  "He thought he was
going to lose you."
     She opened her mouth to reply, but she didn't know what to say. 
Suddenly, she couldn't meet Chakotay's eyes.
     "He defied the captain."
     "He what!?" she cried in surprise.
     "He demanded she do something to stop the Mari.  He was ready to
run off and go after you on his own.  She ordered him back to his station,
but he flatly refused.  The captain was forced to relieve him from duty and
confine him to quarters under guard."
     "But, Tom would never... I mean... He'd do anything for the
captain.  He wouldn't..."
     "He did."
     She stared unseeing down the corridor, her mouth dropped open in
shock.  "I-I guess he really *was* upset."
     "If you'd seen the look in his eyes, you wouldn't have to guess."
     She looked away again, then back to Chakotay.  "You're telling me
he stood against the captain... for me?"
     "Is that so hard to believe?  He loves you, B'Elanna.  Even I would
have to be blind not to see it."
     She stared at him for a moment, then smiled.  "I know he does.  I
guess I'm just not used to someone feeling so strongly about... me."
     "I think you'd better get used to it," he advised.  "And I think you
know where you need to be right now."
     She nodded.  "Thanks, Chakotay."  She started walking toward the
turbolift, but after only a few steps, broke into a run.
     The former Maquis shook his head as he watched her go.  If anyone
had told him three years ago he'd be arguing on behalf of Tom Paris, giving
his own tacit approval to the relationship that had developed between Paris
and B'Elanna, he'd have had them permanently confined to a mental
institution.  Fleetingly he wondered who had changed, him or Paris. 
Maybe both.  Maybe all of them.  Smiling to himself, he headed for the
bridge.
                        ***
     B'Elanna burst out of the turbolift and rushed down the hall to
Tom's quarters.  She came to a screeching halt, staring at the door as she
tried to pull herself together.  She was still having trouble wrapping her
mind around the concept that Tom had been so distraught over her being in
danger.  Shaking her head, she reached out to trigger the door, slightly
surprised when it opened.
     Tom was standing in the middle of the room, facing away from her,
apparently staring at a box on the coffee table before him.  At the sound of
the door, he spun around.  B'Elanna caught her breath at the expression on
his face.  How many times had she gazed at that face, trying to see behind
one of the many masks that were second nature to Tom Paris?  She had
managed to see his true face a few precious times, but never quite like this. 
This time, it was all there to behold.  The pain that still haunted his eyes,
the fear that hadn't quite vanished from the set of his mouth.  As she
watched, she could see the relief wash over him, and the haunted look
warm into something beautiful, something almost pure.
     "B'Elanna?"
     At the crack in his voice, she had to swallow past the lump in her
own throat.  Without further hesitation, she launched herself into his arms. 
Those strong arms closed around her with a desperation that made her
heart ache.
     "It's okay.  I'm all right."
     He didn't quite manage to hold back a sob as one hand pressed
against her back, the other moving to the back of her head, holding her a
willing captive against him.  "You know," he whispered.  "You gave me a
few anxious moments there."  He was trying so hard to put a cocky tone
into his voice, and failing miserably.  She tightened her hold on him,
suddenly realizing how good it felt to be here, now, in his embrace.
     "To tell the truth," she said softly, her own voice trembling, "I was
a little scared myself."
     His fingers stroked her hair.  "It's over now.  You're safe."
     She remained in his arms a moment longer, then gently pushed back
to see his face.  "Yes, Tom.  I am."  He smiled at her, but there were tears
gleaming in his eyes.  "Really."
     He took a deep breath.  "Then it's all right.  Everything is all right
now."
     She smiled back at him, feeling the moisture roll down her own
cheeks before she moved back into his arms.
     It was more than all right.  She was where she wanted to be. 
Where she belonged.
                        ***
     "Come in," Kathryn Janeway called at the sound of her door chime. 
At least not everyone on the ship felt free to just waltz in to her private
sanctum.  She had to remember to have another little "chat" with 7 of 9. 
She looked up from the padd she had been studying to see Chakotay enter
her ready room and a broad grin erupted on her face.
     "The doctor told me.  B'Elanna is fine."
     "Yes, she is.  And Tom?"
     The grin moderated into a contented smile.  "He'll be fine, too. 
Now."
     "Is everything all right between the two of you?" he asked, and she
could read the concern in the back of his eyes.
     She nodded.  "He wouldn't even let me tell him about B'Elanna
before he told me he was wrong, that he understood why I couldn't let him
try and stop the Mari.  I am very proud of him, and I told him so."
     "Hope he doesn't let it go to his head," Chakotay laughed.
     "Oh, it might, but he needed the reassurance."  Her expression
turned serious as she looked directly at her first officer.  "He really loves
B'Elanna, you know.  That's what made him react the way he did.  I can't
condone his actions, but I do understand them."
     "I know," he replied, stepping closer and reaching out to gently rest
his hand on the captain's arm, his eyes holding hers.  "If I'd been in that
same situation, I don't think I could have acted any differently."
     Kathryn Janeway's eyes sparkled as she covered his hand with her
own.  "It worries me sometimes... that if we all become too close, care too
much, that emotional attachment could be our undoing.  It could cloud our
judgement.  Tom's outburst on the bridge was the realization of one of my
worst fears.  But at the same time, that emotional attachment has forged
this crew into the strongest unit it could possibly become.  That strength is
an asset, not a liability."
     "Whatever problems emotion causes, it makes up for in that bond
that makes us one crew, one family."
     "It's a good family we've made here, Chakotay.  As long as we're
together, I don't think there's anything we can't get through."
     "Together," he nodded.
     "Together."
                        ***
     Tom had insisted on replicating a huge meal for the both of them
and B'Elanna was surprised to find just how hungry she truly was.  Facing
an unknown fate in a Mari holding area, no matter how comfortable the
quarters had been, hadn't exactly made for a hearty appetite.  As they ate,
she noticed that Tom couldn't seem to stop watching her.  He'd seem to
forget he had a fork of food poised before him as he watched her, then, a
little self-consciously, he'd shove the fork into his mouth and chew with
gusto.  A moment later, the chewing would stop and it would take him
several seconds to remember to swallow.
     "Tom," she chided gently.  "I'm not going to evaporate."
     He looked away, but not before she had seen the shadow of pain
cross his features.  "Sorry," he mumbled.  She reached out and grabbed his
hand, squeezing it until he turned to look, first at their joined hands, then at
her face.
     "Don't apologize for caring so much.  And don't try to pretend this
didn't hurt you."
     He shook his head.  "*You* were the one who was almost..."
     "But I wasn't," she interrupted before he could force himself to say
the words.  "There were moments while I was sitting there waiting, not
knowing what was going to happen to me, that I was absolutely terrified.  I
can admit that, but I can put it behind me, because it's over and I'm here
with you."
     "I-I don't think I could have..." he looked away for a moment,
gathering himself.  "You've become so much a part of my life, I don't think
I can survive without you anymore."
     "Oh, Tom.  You don't have to.  I'm here and I'm going to stay
here."
     His face clouded.  "Until the next time we face some unknown
danger."
     "As long as we face it together, we'll make it."
     "It still scares me, B'Elanna."
     "I know," she told him, reaching out and caressing his cheek.  "It
scares me, too.  But not as much as thinking that we might never have
found each other."
     Tom leaned across the table, his lips intent on hers.  Unfortunately,
a glass of wine got in the way.  As the glass began to tip, he fumbled to
catch it and missed.
     "Oops," B'Elanna bit her lip, trying not to laugh.  She didn't
succeed and neither did Tom.
     "So much for romantic moments," he sighed.
     "I think we just need to relocate to a spot a bit less... hazardous?"
     Still holding her hand, Tom stood and led her to the sofa.  They sat
down, and immediately moved into each other's arms.  This time, there was
nothing to stop Tom's lips from finding hers.  The kiss began almost
tentatively, but quickly became one filled with passion and desire.  B'Elanna
could feel his hands touching her shoulders, her back, trailing slowing
down one arm and seeking out her hand to entwine his fingers in hers.  By
the time he pulled away, they were both breathing heavily.  Tom brought
his hands to either side of her face, gazing at it intently, as if he was
memorizing every line of her features.  His fingers buried themselves in her
hair, while his thumbs played over the ridges on her forehead, then traced
their way around her eyes to her cheeks.
     She watched his expression as he continued.  His eyes still seemed
to be desperately seeking evidence that she was indeed real and not just a
phantom.  His lips were parted just a little and she could feel his warm
breath on her face.  She couldn't remain passive any longer, and reached
out to begin her own exploration of his features.  When her hand moved to
his mouth, he gently kissed her fingertips.  Then he looked directly into her
eyes and for the first time since her return, the pain melted into joy.
     "Oh, B'Elanna," he sighed, and pulled her into his arms once more.
     As he shifted to pull her closer against him, his knee pushed against
the coffee table and the package sitting upon it slid precariously close to
the edge.  Quickly, he reached out to steady it, pushing it firmly back
toward the center of the table.  His eyes remained on it as a smile spread
across his face.  B'Elanna followed the gaze, then looked back at him, the
obvious question in her eyes.
     "I found this on the planet and it made me think of you, so I bought
it.  I was afraid I'd never get the chance to give it to you."
     "It's for me?" she asked.
     "No, it's for Neelix," Tom retorted.  "Of course, it's for you.  Want
to open it?"
     What she really wanted was to fall back into his arms, but she could
see by the expression on his face he was anxious for her to open the gift. 
"Okay," she replied, reaching out and bringing the package into her lap.  It
was surprisingly heavy.  Carefully, she removed the wrapping, shooting
glances at Tom to watch his expression as he was watching her.  With the
covering disposed of, what remained was a simple white box.  She lifted
the lid and gazed at the contents, her eyes growing large in wonder.
     "Oh, Tom!  It's beautiful!"  She looked back at him, amazement
written on her features.  "This... reminded you of... me?"
     He reached out to her, his fingers gently touching the ridges on her
forehead, drifting down her cheek, and finally tracing the outline of her lips. 
"Yes," he replied to her question.  "So beautiful."
     He held her gaze for a moment, then looked down at the box in her
lap.  Slowly, he lifted it and set it on the table once again, then reached
inside to draw out the treasure inside: a large sphere that appeared to be
made of glass with a carved wood base.
     B'Elanna watched in fascination as the transparent surface of the
globe seemed to catch the subdued light in the room and reflect it back in
shimmering rays.  Her eyes were drawn to the frosted three-dimensional
image in very center.
     "The craftsman said it was a one of a kind piece." Tom explained as
he carefully held the globe by its base.  "He told me the art of crystal
carving is all but lost among the Mari.  It takes a lot of patience and skill to
form the image inside just right without cracking the surface..  The artist
uses delicate instruments to heat the heart of the crystal to make the image
appear."
     "You mean to tell me this wasn't replicated?  It was made by hand,
from a real crystal?"
     "Uh huh," he smiled.  "And it's a very special kind of crystal, found
only on the Mari homeworld."  His smile faded a bit.  "I guess you really
don't need something that reminds you of this place.  Maybe it wasn't such
a good idea."
     "Oh, no," she told him quickly.  "It will give me something
beautiful to replace the bad memories.  It's a perfect gift, Tom."  He
seemed to relax a bit.  "The object in the center... if I didn't know better, I'd
swear it was..."
     "...a rose?  Yeah, that's what I thought, too.  Looks like it just came
from an English garden, doesn't it?  Funny, the craftsman said he was trying
for something called a Koola flower, but he didn't quite get it right."
     "I still don't understand.  How could this remind you of me?" she
asked.
     Tom smiled as he placed it back on her lap.  "Because it's beautiful
and rare.  And it's completely unique.  There isn't another piece like it
anywhere in the universe.  If you only look at the surface, you could
mistake it for being hard and cold.  But if you take the time to look deeper,
to really see what's there, inside," he took hold of her hands and placed
them on either side of the crystal, palms touching the surface.  Almost
immediately, the rose image in the center began to softly glow and
B'Elanna could feel the warmth radiating from it out to the surface and into
her hands.  "You see?  It really has a warm heart."
     "Tom, I... I don't know what to say."
     "Just tell me you like it."
     "Oh, I love it!"
     "Good."  He carefully placed his hands on the globe, his fingers
interspaced with hers.  The glow instantly grew more intense.  "I knew
when I saw it, it had to be yours.  The craftsman said no one would buy it
because it was flawed.  It wasn't a true image of a Koola flower."
     "Flawed," she whispered, her smile fading just a bit.
     "But don't you see?  Even the one who created it couldn't see its
true beauty.  It appeared flawed to him because he wanted it to be a Koola
flower, but this crystal was meant to hold this rose.  You and I have spent
our whole lives trying to become what others wanted us to be.  But that
wasn't who we were.  It was Fate that I should find this crystal and
recognize it for what it really was.  It was destined to belong to you,
B'Elanna.  Just like we were destined to belong to each other."
     B'Elanna felt the tears fill her eyes again as she watched Tom
gazing into the center of the globe.
     "Isn't it wonderful when you find something rare and beautiful,
something no one else has ever seen?"
     "Yes," B'Elanna replied, watching the glow from the Mari globe
reflected in the shining blue depths of Tom's eyes.  "It's wonderful."
     Then he raised his eyes to hers..  Tom's hands gently lifted the
crystal, and guided it back to the table, then he took her hands in his.  "Out
here, half a galaxy away from all those expectations, I found something
worth treasuring, worth holding onto at any price.  I love you, B'Elanna."
     "I love you, Tom," she whispered.  Once more, he drew her close
against him, her ear pressed against his chest.  Soon, they would feel the
passion that was always so quick to overtake them.  But for the moment,
for one quiet, beautiful moment, they were both content to simply hold
each other.
     B'Elanna closed her eyes, feeling very safe and warm, and listened
to the steady beat of Tom's heart.

~Finis~