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Warmth 1 - Shelter (PG-13)

Warmth 1 - Shelter (PG-13)


"It doesn't look very deep," commented B'Elanna as she entered the cave. Depositing the sacks of tubers and the backpacks she was carrying on the floor inside the entrance, she rummaged through her pack and removed her light. Not bothering to attach it to her wrist, she flashed it around the cave. "There's one area far to the back that cuts into the mountain about 40 meters or so from the entrance," she went on, "but that shaft of light coming from the roof opens to the outside."

"It'll act like a wind tunnel during the night. I was hoping that this cave would be deeper than the tricorder said it would be, but it isn't. Where's a false reading when you really need one?"

"What is it, 18 hours of winter night to get through, Tom?"

"Yeah, we've got to find the most protected area of this cave to camp out in."

After switching on his own light, Tom circuited the small cave with B'Elanna. They had to be careful of their footing; much of the cave had an uneven floor. In the back of the cavern, in a cul-de-sac formed by an outcropping of stone, they found a crack in the floor. It was directly underneath the one in the roof but was out of sight somewhat from the main area of the cave. "Latrine area," declared Tom. B'Elanna agreed. Cold draft or not, it would be better to use for their needs than going outside would be.

"Tom, what about over there on the left, where the stalactites and stalagmites are in a line. That's almost a wall." They bent down and shone their lights inside. The lights revealed the roof of the cave there was a mere meter and a half from its floor. Columns of stone enclosed an area a little under three meters in length and about two meters in width, but four other stalactites with their connecting stalagmites hung in the center of the space.

She sighed. "There isn't enough room for us to slide in there, out of the wind, is there?"

"No, the columns are in the way. The best place is against that side wall to the right, I think. At least the floor is level."

"It's going to be in line with the draft."

"If you can find a better place, I'll be happy to go along with you."

They flashed the lights around for several minutes more. There was no better place in the cave.

"Do you want me to see if there is another cave nearby, B'Elanna?"

"I don't think it's worth the effort, do you? It's almost dark now. We don't want to be wandering around outside then. It's cold enough now."

Remembering that the half-Klingon engineer's body was less resistant to cold than his own, Tom agreed. Returning to the mouth of the cave, they transferred the sacks of tubers and their meager supplies to the area of the cave where they would sleep.

"Inventory time, Lieutenant Torres?" asked Tom, as he sat beside her, leaning his back against the wall of the cave. B'Elanna was the nominal head of their two-person expedition. When she agreed, he emptied the damaged knapsack first.

"Let's see, we've got a change of underwear and socks. One spare gray turtleneck. One personal hygiene kit for male crew members. A comb. One mess kit. Three ration bars. A canteen with . . ." He opened the stopper to sniff the contents. "with water inside. Terrific. I was hoping they would have left us something a bit stronger. One Starfleet All-Weather Sleeping Bag-Blanket. A PADD--I wonder what it has on it. *Women Warriors at the River of Blood* would be nice. I haven't finished that yet." Pulling the PADD out of the backpack, Tom switched it on, making a face when he saw what it was. "It's a security manual. This must be Larson's pack; he was taking Tuvok's promotional course for prospective ensigns. I knew he was ambitious when he started showing up on the bridge as a backup. Okay, back to the inventory. Personal med kit. One pair lined gloves."

"Dibs on the gloves, Paris."

"Didn't you bring your own?"

"I forgot them. I didn't expect to be here all night," she said defensively.

"You're going to be sorry. These won't be very warm. They're the lightweight ones." He tossed them over to her. "You may want to put these on with your climbing gloves for a little extra warmth, B'Elanna." He turned back to the contents of the backpack. "One deck Starfleet-issue playing cards. Guess we'll have something to do to pass the time besides sleep and eat. One wrist light. A spare power pack for the wrist light. That's handy, at least. He didn't even need to bring a light, let alone the spare power pack. What's this--oh, it's a pocket knife. And two candy bars, chocolate. Looks like we're going to have dessert tonight."

B'Elanna smiled, although she couldn't help thinking that another half-dozen blankets would have been preferable to candy bars for dessert. "What did you bring with you, Tom?"

"Pretty much the same thing. My field medic kit is more complete that the personal ones and has a medical tricorder. I have an extra power pack for the phaser. I had three, but we used up two when we were cutting out the dilithium. I've got the climbing equipment, with the pitons and cords and some cleats. No candy bars or playing cards though, and I don't have a PADD. What about you?"

"The same basic stuff. Convertible blanket, mess and med kits, some ration bars and a little Tarkalian tea. I had five spare power packs for the phaser when we left the ship, but I used three of them cutting. The one in my phaser is full power, though. I've got a change of underwear, socks, and turtleneck, too. My wrist light and a spare power pack for that. Of course, I have the female version of the hygiene kit.

"I would think so."

"Is there any spare food?"

"What's in Neelix's lunch basket, B'Elanna?"

"Oh, forgot about the basket. He's got an old blanket in here. I guess they sat on it while they ate. It isn't one of those that can be made into a sleeping bag. He's got one, no, two sandwiches, about a dozen ration bars, another beverage container . . ." She passed the container over to Tom so that he could check out its contents. "A cooking pot, it looks like. I don't know what he had planned on cooking! A small lighter to start fires. Some cups and plates and cutlery. And some more of those roots. They're soft, so they must be leftovers from lunch."

"You can use the extra blankets, B'Elanna. You'll need them."

"You're right about that. It's a good thing we never sent our cold-weather jackets back up to Voyager. I wish I had an entire environment suit right about now."

He leaned forward away from the wall. "Yeah, this stone is cold. If the cave had been deeper, we could have gotten into an area where the temperature was moderated, but this one's too shallow for that. We may need to use Neelix's blanket on the floor under us to help insula . . ." He stopped talking in mid-sentence and thought a moment.

"B'Elanna, I just had an inspiration. Insulation, and a soft bed, all in one. What about bringing in those piles of straw that are outside--you know, the stalky tops of the tubers. We could sleep on a haystack."

"That's a good idea, Tom. It's got to be warmer and more comfortable than the floor of this cave."

"We'd better hurry though. The straw is probably starting to blow all around."

Jumping to his feet, Tom held out his hand for B'Elanna to pull herself up. Without another word, they went out to gather up their bedding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It could have been much worse, Captain. At least we were able to limp out of the nebula on impulse before we had to shut down propulsion." Harry tried to look optimistic, but the good news was meager, compared to the overwhelming problems that faced them. "Most of the damage to the Bioneural system was apparently caused when the shields were down for the transporter. The effect on the circuitry wasn't caught in time to prevent the cascade failure, so it spread throughout the ship's systems and the computer network. Neelix and Larson were lucky to get here when they did. The transporter buffers went off line seconds after they were on board."

"Where are we regarding repairs, Lieutenant Carey?" asked Commander Chakotay.

Torres' primary assistant in engineering consulted his PADD. "We can use backups to reprogram all the systems, but before we can do that, we need to check on all of the circuits to make sure that they aren't damaged. In addition to the circuitry, a significant amount of damage was done to other parts of the ship by the ignited plasma. It's going to take a while to fix everything, and since all replicators are down at the moment, even on the holodecks . . . ."

"The holodecks, Mr. Carey?"

"Yes, Captain, sometimes when we need a lot of parts we press the replicator function of the holodeck into service. It's especially useful for making larger components. Since they're off line, too, we'll need to fix them before making replacements for other parts of system. At least the gelpacks themselves were OK. Only the linkages between them were damaged; they automatically disconnected to prevent damage to the gelpacks. That's what's supposed to happen--it's a protective measure--but now all of that circuitry needs to be fixed before we'll be able to make much headway on the rest of the ship. Estimated repair time is about six days."

"Does that mean B'Elanna and Tom will have to spend four of that planet's nights there?" Neelix looked distressed.

"That's a minimum estimate, I'm afraid, Mr. Neelix. Even if we can get all of the repairs completed without any delay, Voyager can return to to pick them only if the nebula has settled down by then. We can't risk a recurrence of such extensive damage to our shields and systems."

"Captain, that means we also need to keep an eye on Tantrum in order to monitor the conditions inside the nebula."

"What did you say, Harry?" asked the captain. " 'Tantrum?' "

"Uh, sorry, Captain. That's what they're calling it down in Stellar Cartography. I think Megan Delaney christened it that," answered Harry.

A smile crossed the captain's lips for the first time at the meeting. "The name certainly fits! I think we should keep it."

Harry smiled back. "Stellar Cartography will be glad to hear it. Everyone was getting pretty tired of saying V3-F01-1472 all the time."

After a short pause to acknowledged the name, Lieutenant Carey spoke up, "Captain, about observing the star. Ensign Myers and the crew in the shuttle maintenance bay have an idea. Since the shuttles aren't connected directly to the ship, their systems sustained little if any damage. We can get them up and flying in a day or two. If we fit them with some extra long-range sensors, we can keep an eye on Tantrum until Voyager is repaired enough to do it."

"Why not for a day or two, Mr. Carey?" asked Chakotay.

Carey looked sheepish. "Until the shields are working properly again, it wouldn't be a good idea to open the shuttle bay doors; but we can't even try. They won't open, Commander. We have to fix that circuitry, too."

The captain and the first officer exchanged an exasperated look with one another.

"Keep us informed, Lieutenant. Anything else?"

"Captain Janeway, pardon me for asking, but once the shuttles get out, can't you just send one to pick up Lieutenant Torres and Lieutenant Paris? I'd be glad to volunteer for such a mission, " said Neelix.

Janeway replied gently, knowing that while Neelix should have known the answer to his question already, the guilt he carried about returning to Voyager while Tom and B'Elanna had been forced to stay behind was preying on his mind. "That isn't practical, Neelix. If there's another solar flare while the shuttle is in the nebula, more crew members would be put in danger; worse danger, frankly, than Lieutenant Torres and Lieutenant Paris are in right now. The shuttles have less shield capacity than Voyager."

"Wasn't the damage done because the shields were down, to permit the transport of Crewman Larson and myself?"

Tuvok looked towards Janeway and Chakotay as he noted, "Much of it was, but the shields were also damaged by the interaction of the plasma fires on them, apart from whatever damage had occurred during the transport. While sending in a shuttle might be perceived by the crew as a positive step toward rescuing Lieutenants Torres and Paris, it would be an unacceptable risk." Realizing that the comments were for him, Neelix nodded reluctantly to acknowledge the Vulcan officer's statements.

Captain Janeway looked around at what remained of her senior staff. "Does anyone else have anything to report?"

Chakotay replied, "At least there is a little good news."

"What is it, Commander. We could use some right about now."

"Dilithium is one thing not in short supply, thanks to Torres and Paris." Everyone's smile was a bit wan, knowing that their dilithium supply would have been secured at a very high cost if any harm were to come to the engineer and helmsman.

Janeway met the eyes of her first officer, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. "Yes, thanks to Tom and B'Elanna. Anything else?" When there were no further questions or comments, the captain dismissed what remained of her senior staff, along with Carey and Hamilton, who were replacing Torres and Paris.

As he was about to exit the conference room, Commander Chakotay heard Janeway's not quite contained sigh from where she remained seated at the conference table. He stopped at the doorway and turned to her, commenting lightly, "Five light years away, and it might as well be a hundred.

"Yes, Chakotay, it might as well be. I know we have a good crew, but some people, B'Elanna, especially, seem more essential than most. Every time we are in a tight situation, I have to admit how right you were in recommending her to become chief engineer. Carey is an extremely competent engineer, but B'Elanna is so much more than that. She's creative, innovative. I know that this is no time to berate Lieutenant Carey for not being Lieutenant Torres--it isn't fair to Mr. Carey--but I admit I can't help thinking that she would find a way to get the ship repaired a little sooner."

"If the nebula doesn't settle down, the amount of time taken for the repairs won't really matter."

"True, Commander." She motioned him to walk with her to her ready room as she came to her feet. "But the worst thing is that we can't even get word to them about what's happened. I hope they don't think we've deliberately abandoned them."

"I doubt that, Captain. Paris knows that you could never do that, any more than B'Elanna would believe it of me, or of you."

She smiled slightly. "Does that mean you think Tom might think you *were* capable of leaving him behind?"

His dimples showed briefly. "We couldn't leave the Best Pilot in the Delta Quadrant to the fate of being stuck somewhere without anything to fly, could we?" The quick smile faded. " I trust he does know I wouldn't leave him behind, even if he might think it is only because I wouldn't leave B'Elanna. If I didn't know better, I would have trouble believing Tom was the same person who served with me in the Maquis. He's done such an about face in the last three years--if you knew him then, Kathryn, you wouldn't believe it was the same man, either."

"Maybe it only seems that way now that he's had an opportunity to show what the real Tom Paris is like. I know he isn't at all like the man I met in prison. Have you ever mentioned to him how your view of him has changed, Chakotay? I know the two of you haven't always gotten along, but I know he respects you tremendously."

"Not in so many words, Captain, although I hope he knows my feelings have changed. When he gets back on board, I'll see if we can sit down and have a talk--as long as he hasn't done anything to make me mad at him again in the meantime."

Entering the ready room, the commander took his usual seat as the captain moved around to take her place behind the desk. "What I really wish we knew, Captain, is what kind of supplies they have available to them. We know what didn't come up with Neelix and Larson, but neither one was sure whether or not the missing items were on the surface for Torres and Paris to use. If they only have their own packs, the amount of power available to them to create a heat source may be extremely limited. Late winter, a day 33.4 standard hours long--I'm glad it isn't me down there."

"Me either. Let's see if we can come up with some projections about their power supplies. What did they requisition? What equipment and supplies were in the missing packs that Neelix and Larson weren't able to bring back?"

"Aye, Captain."

Spying a PADD lying on her desk, Janeway toyed with it for a few seconds before picking it up, her face lighting briefly with a smile. "I wish I could ask Leonardo about it all, but that will have to wait for Mr. Paris' return, too."

"Leonardo?"

"Tom was helping me with a new holodeck program. Sort of a holonovel, but based on the life and works of Leonardo daVinci. He'd promised we'd finish it as soon as he got back."

"Scientist, inventor, artist . . . . I can see the appeal for you, but you couldn't have used the program anyway, Captain, with the holodecks out of order."

"True. It will have to wait for another time," said the captain. "I just hope that I will be able to avail myself of Mr. Paris' golden touch with a holodeck program before making any appeals to Mr. daVinci."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Klingon half of B'Elanna Torres was being extremely difficult to the rest of B'Elanna--and to Tom. Even though the pilot had dashed out to grab the last three armloads of straw without her, B'Elanna was thoroughly chilled and miserable. The pile of straw-like stalks was almost half a meter in height, with an extra pile of the stuff propped up against the wall of the cave to serve as an improvised back rest. B'Elanna was now seated in the middle of the dried vegetation with all four of their blankets wrapped around her. Her face was lit by the flames of a small fire and the glow of several large rocks that had been rolled in front of the pile before being heated with low beams of phaser power to radiate heat and light.

The fire consumed fuel made by Tom's twisting the thickest of the straw-stems into knots. The thickest stalks were deemed likely to be uncomfortable as bedding anyway. The twists of straw burned brightly but were consumed far too quickly to justify the effort required to make them, in B'Elanna's opinion. Tom had maintained that the soothing quality of the flames made it worthwhile, despite the tending that was required to keep the small fire going. Since it was "Tom's fire," Tom was doing the tending.

B'Elanna was still cold.

"More tea, B'Elanna?" he asked, solicitously.

"I think I've had enough; I'll only have to get rid of it later," she answered brusquely. By now, Tom's fussing over her had become tiresome enough to make her irritable. She wasn't sure she'd be able to stand it for the remaining 16-hours-plus of darkness they were anticipating.

Squatting next to the campfire, Tom added a few more hunks of straw to the flames before pouring the last of the tea from the cooking pot into his metal mug. As he settled back on the pile next to his companion, Tom sipped the tea cautiously. The brew was still hot enough to burn an unwary mouth.

"Ready to play some cards? Or do you have something else in mind to pass away the night."

"Card playing, wearing these?" she demanded, raising hands clad in Tom's heavy, cold weather gloves. Tom had taken pity on her frozen hands and let her wear his while he wore Larson's lighter weight ones beneath his climbing gloves.

"Sure, why not. We won't have to cheat. We'll be dropping the cards all over the place." That managed to draw a hint of a smile from her.

"What I really want to do is sleep away the night, if you don't mind. You will permit me to go to sleep this time, won't you?" she added, pointedly.

"In the Argala habitat we weren't equipped for sleeping. You would have died of hypothermia napping there. Here, with the sleeping bags and the heat sources we've got, we'll get by. As a last resort we can huddle up close and conserve our body heat. In fact, we'd be better off by making one double sleeping bag right from the start, instead of two. We could use the extra blankets to block the wind as much as we can." He looked up toward the crack in the cavern's ceiling. The draft had turned into a cutting wind since nightfall.

"I don't know, Hotshot. Can I trust you, seeing as how you wanted a 'passionate affair' between the helmsman and the Maquis engineer in Insurrection Alpha?"

"Don't worry. I can control myself for one night, even if I do wrap my body around yours. For protective purposes only, of course."

"Of course," she snorted.

Taking the last sip of tea, Tom leaned over the edge of what they were calling the haystack to deposit his empty mug on the cavern floor. "Seriously, we probably should make up the sleeping bags now. How do we go, single, with each of us having an extra blanket, or double, with the extra blankets spread above and below us?"

She thought a moment. They were going to be fully dressed, after all. "I guess doubled does make more sense."

"Then crawl out from under those covers now, Lieutenant Torres. Brave that wind, just for a few minutes."

Giving him a dirty look, B'Elanna did as he asked. The thermal blankets from their packs had special seams along the outside edges. With the seams peeled open, each blanket could be attached to the other side of itself to form a single sleeping bag. Matching blankets formed an envelope that could sleep two.

Spreading one out to form a base, they fastened a second blanket over the first. After they had finished, B'Elanna noted, "You know, if we loosen up the top blanket in a few spots, can't Larson's be attached to the top, too?"

"It's worth a try." In a couple of minutes all three blankets were attached to one other. A little cold air might enter where the top two blankets overlapped one another, as the gripper seam of the bottom blanket could not grab the seams of both of the top blankets well enough to eliminate all the gaps. They agreed that having slight openings, even if they might be a little drafty, were an acceptable tradeoff for the extra layer of insulation over them while they slept.

"Climb in, Lieutenant," said the helmsman, holding the layers open for B'Elanna to slip inside. Tossing Neelix's blanket on top of B'Elanna, Tom glanced around their shelter. Grabbing a wrist light and a phaser, he tucked them into a knapsack which was tossed within easy reach of the top opening of the sleeping bag. "Just in case we need them," he said.

Gingerly lowering his long legs into the bag next to B'Elanna, Tom tried to settle down to rest. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, he realized that his inability to relax had little to do with him. "Do you always sleep like that?"

"How I sleep is my concern, Lieutenant."

Tom grunted. The engineer's rigidly straight position, arms crossed over her chest as she lay on her back, didn't look at all comfortable to him. He couldn't believe it was her usual sleeping position."B'Elanna, we'd be much warmer if we spooned together."

"If we what?"

"You know, like spoons lying in a drawer." He gently nudged her into position on her side as he described it to her. "Your back to my front, knees bent, hips bent, my arms curled around you. There, isn't that more comfortable?"

"I don't know. You're awfully close."

He laughed. "That's the idea. I promise not to take advantage of your virtue, Lieutenant Torres. If I'm a bad boy, you'll make me pay for it for the rest of my life. And you'd make sure that wasn't a very long time!"

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" B'Elanna said, although she couldn't hold back a smidgeon of a grin. Why should she worry about him? He'd been able to control his impulses better than she had on Sakari IV. Wrapping her arms snugly around herself to hold in as much of her body heat as possible, B'Elanna wiggled her hips a little to settle herself into a better position. Her bed partner's sudden intake of breath held the suggestion of a groan. She grinned evilly. No sense letting Mr. Paris get too comfortable.

~~~~~

Tom awoke with a start. At first he thought the frigid wind had dragged him back to consciousness. Then he was aware of soft moaning and shivering by his bed mate. B'Elanna was suffering, and he couldn't think of a way to help her more than he already had. Checking his chronometer, he saw that the rocks heated with his phaser less than two hours before were dark and cold. The draft in the cave must disperse the warmth too quickly to provide the two officers with much in the way of comfort. He briefly considered burying them deeper in straw, but Tom doubted there was enough in the cave to make the difference needed for B'Elanna. There was one way that might help, but even that method had its flaws.

"Tom, did I wake you?" Her voice quivered, totally unlike its usual crisp delivery.

"No," he lied. "The wind woke me. How are you doing?"

"Not very good. Tom, I've been thinking." She struggled amidst the piles of straw, blankets and winter clothing to face him, muttering, "I can't believe I'm actually going to say this to you."

"Say what to me?"

She took a deep breath. "Sex makes body heat. Maybe we should . . . have a physical encounter."

"Can't you even say 'Let's have sex, Tom?'" he teased.

"Okay. Let's have sex. I don't feel like playing word games here, Tom! I'm freezing to death."

His bantering ceased once he realized that she was serious. "B'Elanna, much as I'd love to, there are some logistical problems we'd have to work out first."

"Such as . . . "

"We haven't exactly gotten to the point in our relationship where taking such a big step is expected . . . "

"Tom, I'm freezing. You're freezing. I'm not talking 'relationship' here. This is survival."

His lips almost tilted into a grin. "We can survive without it, Lieutenant. Cold, uncomfortable, probably without a lot of sleep, but we can endure this. It isn't much colder than the habitat ship, but this time we've got lots of equipment. Let me warm up some tea for you."

"Don't you dare leave this bed."

"You need me? Be still, my heart."

"Tom, I'm serious."

"I'm being serious, too. It's too soon in our--if you don't want us to have a 'relationship,' then let's call it 'friendship'--to, well, too soon to get physical like that. I really do want you to respect me in the morning, Torres."

"Tom, this isn't like that *pon farr*/Klingon mating urge thing. We both need to be warm. I *am* fond of you, you know that."

"How many times have we kissed, other than when you had that '*pon farr* thing.' "

"I'm not sure."

"Let me refresh your memory, Lieutenant Torres. We haven't."

"What does that prove?"

"It proves that we aren't ready to hop into bed--well, uh, let me rephrase that, since we are in bed already--it proves we aren't ready to make love. In case you haven't caught on yet, Lieutenant, I am not interested in a casual affair with you." He had to stop a moment, as he felt a catch in his throat that he did not want B'Elanna to hear. "Your friendship is very important to me, B'Elanna. Special. I do not want to blow it by doing something we'll both regret later."

"Tom . . . " Her voice trailed off. She knew she probably wasn't ready for what he wanted; he'd made his true intentions towards her abundantly clear during the last few months. Tom was probably right about it not being advisable to do what she asked of him now. He was right, but he was wrong, too. This was a completely different situation--he had to see that!

"And I meant it when I said there were logistical problems, apart from the effect having sex would have on our--friendship."

"Such as?"

"To do it right, we'd have to remove a fair amount of our clothing, or, at least, you would. Do you really want to expose your body to the cold more than it already is to try to get warm? Frankly, there are certain parts of my anatomy that I would prefer not to lose to frostbite."

"Point taken," she grudgingly admitted.

"Hasn't this discussion warmed you up just a little?"

"Yes, it has, a very little. I want to be a lot warmer, even if it's only for a while."

He couldn't see her eyes, but he could imagine the look she was giving him. Tom almost gave in right then, cold or not, frostbite risk or no. His hesitation allowed him to remember something that might serve their needs a little better under the present circumstances.

"We could do a little cuddling, B'Elanna."

"I thought that's what we've been doing."

"Cuddling and caressing, the way couples used to when they went 'parking.' You know, like in that Old-Car-on-Mars holodeck program I've got. You'll get a little of that sexual contact from me you're suddenly craving; and, trust me, you'll get warmer. Lots warmer."

"Sure, Tom. Let's do it."

Tom laughed at her matter-of-fact answer. Suddenly, though, he breathed in her scent. Her breath puffed in his face. He felt all of the places her body touched him, not to mention the proximity of her lips to his own. At the same time he became acutely aware that talking about sex had made him, oh, so ready for it.

Breathing softly to her, "Okay, let's . . . ," Tom leaned forward the few centimeters he needed to brush B'Elanna's mouth with his. Since she seemed receptive and did not immediately pull away, he kissed her again--still gently, but with a bit more desire, more passion. Her answering kiss encouraged him to pull off his gloves for the freedom to slip his hands between her thighs, to warm them before touching her anywhere else. His reward was a stiffening of her body and a distinct jump back, although how she managed it while lying on her side was a mystery to him.

"So you want to 'do it,' Torres, and I can't even warm my hands up between your legs?"

"Just give me a little warning, okay?"

"I'm giving it to you now, then. My hands are going to make contact with your body, Torres. Lots of contact. If you don't want me to do that, fine. Just say so now."

B'Elanna grunted a little but said nothing. Taking this as assent, Tom murmured her name and kissed her again. Their kisses became more and more passionate as they caressed and comforted each other in the frigid caverns.

***

"That definitely helped me get warmer, Paris," she said. He could sense the upturning of her lips on his and answered with a smile of his own.

"Much warmer, Torres."

Settling the blankets back around them, Tom wrapped his arms around her shoulders and back, hugging her close to him. She in turn tucked her head into his shoulder, the top of her head brushing his chin, snuggling into his embrace. He would have been content to lie like that, undisturbed, for the rest of the night. By his chronometer, however, he estimated that there were at least nine more hours of night left, nine more hours that would be colder than those they had already endured. Sighing into B'Elanna's hair, Tom resigned himself to the fact that several more petting sessions would probably be needed before morning. He was sure he'd be up for it.

~~~~~

B'Elanna stirred briefly as Tom crept out of the sleeping bag. Although the air was the coldest it had been since their arrival on the planet, the predawn dying of the breeze made it seem a little warmer in the cavern. Crouching down by her side, Tom tenderly lifted his half of the sleeping bag to cover her. By the meagre light of a wristlight, he watched B'Elanna's restlessness settle back into slumber. Tom longed to brush his hand along her cheek. He settled for draping part of Neelix's blanket around the back of her head and neck, tucking in the loose ends, before touching his gloved hand against her hair. Not a very sensual experience for him, to be sure, but the gesture satisfied the need in his soul to take care of her. She hated it, he knew, but that did not make the impulse easier for him to resist. Feelings for the beautiful human-Klingon engineer that he had been trying to keep dormant were raging in his heart, now that they had taken one step closer to becoming lovers. Hell, maybe they WERE lovers--he wasn't sure what they were to each other after the liberties they'd allowed each other during the night. But "friends"--no, a lot more than only friends--at least, on his part.

After visiting the "latrine corner" to relieve himself, Tom used his phaser to heat several of the rocks they had arranged to serve as radiators the previous evening. Grabbing the last of the straw knots, Tom piled them in the area designated as their fireplace and lit them with Neelix's lighter.

Baring his hands to take advantage of the flame, the helmsman considered his surroundings. He would be glad to get back on Voyager. This place was far too austere to spend any more time than necessary here. What would his father think about Tom's surviving here? Would he have gotten more than a B-minus from dear old Dad if he'd spent part of his survival training here? An ambivalent grimace appeared on his face. Probably not.

Slipping both pairs of gloves back over his hands, Tom straightened up and strolled to the entrance of the cavern. The sun was coming up, but it was still extremely cold. He again breathed thanks to the deity that had stopped the cutting wind.

From where he stood, Tom could see ropes of ice on the face of the cliff that he and B'Elanna had climbed the previous day. The icicles had been gleaming with dripping water in the sun yesterday, but now they were frozen solid again. He imagined there were cracks in the shale at the higher elevations where spring water could drip through from deep within the mountainside, where the water was liquid even in this cold. The sun warming the cliff caused surface melting in the day, while the brutal cold of the nights froze it all up again every night. No, Voyager's comforts would be very much appreciated by one Thomas Eugene Paris today.

Walking away from the cave entrance so that he would not disturb B'Elanna, Tom tapped his comm badge and said, "Paris to Voyager."

There was no answer, not even the hiss and static that had interfered with communications yesterday. Reflexively, he stared upward, although the likelihood he would be able to see Voyager in orbit was vanishingly small. Then he noticed that what he'd assumed was a "red sky at morning" effect was, in fact, the actual color of the entire sky, rather than just the eastern horizon. To the west, where night still reigned, the sky was a sickly orange-maroon, with a slight glow that obscured whatever stars might have been still shining in the dawn sky. In fact, Tom would be willing to bet that even the stars bright enough to be seen normally, despite the nebula, had been invisible during the past night. His practiced pilot's eye detected no trace of cloud cover, either. This was the actual night sky, stained such an unnatural color.

Recalling the interference with the communicator and transport systems the previous day, Tom came to the unhappy conclusion that the nebula itself somehow had become enflamed. Plasma fires were no joke, and Voyager would be better off far away from here if that were so.

And if that were the case, Thomas Eugene Paris and B'Elanna Torres were stranded in this unlovely environment for an indeterminate length of time.

~~~~~

"Torres to Voyager." B'Elanna listened for a full minute, hoping to hear some hint of an answering message. Even a crackling hiss would be welcome, as it might mean an open comm line. Dead silence was all the response she got. Sighing, she walked a little further down the bank of the stream, avoiding the ice patches that were present wherever her route was shaded from the sun in any way. There was no "path." A path implied life forms big enough to walk on a given trail with sufficient frequency for a ribbon of wear to be ground into the vegetation. B'Elanna's tricorder, now set to read biological signs instead of dilithium crystals, confirmed what Harry Kim's sensors had detected before the away teams ever left Voyager: there were no large animals on this planet.

Insects were another thing, however. Her tricorder was detecting large numbers of insect eggs, grubs, and larvae, dwelling in the unfrozen recesses of the ground, slumbering until the time came for them to retake their rightful place as the top link in the local food chain. She hoped her tiny away team would be long gone before that season was reached. If even half of the life forms she was reading hatched, this valley would be teeming with insects. B'Elanna preferred not to find out just how big the indigenous lifeforms would get once they emerged from hibernation.

Trudging up an embankment, B'Elanna reached the shelf which formed the base of "Dilithium Cliff," as Tom had dubbed the spot where the precious crystals had been found. She could hear his tenor voice say, "Paris to Voyager" as she reached the top.

"I tried less than five minutes ago, Tom."

His eyes met hers. "I figured it couldn't hurt," he offered with an apologetic shrug. "Unless you think all our calls will use up the power in our communicators."

"Not really, although I guess I have had power on my mind a lot. We don't have any to spare if we have to stay here for any length of time."

"Did you find anything else we can use for a fire?"

"Just more of those woody vines you found. They should burn a little more slowly than the straw and be a lot less work. I checked for coal and peat on my first circuit of the valley. It would be just our luck to land in the one place on this planet where there weren't any fossil fuels." She squatted next to Tom, leaning her back against the cliff. The autumnal reddish glow from the noontime sun burnished her face. The previous day, the color of the sun had been yellow-white, tingeing everything it touched a slight pink/purple hue to eyes adapted to the light spectrum of a yellow sun.

"I don't remember if Harry found anything like that when he scanned the planet. Do you?"

"Not off hand. If I'd had any idea we were going to be stuck down here . . . "

"You would've paid more attention. I know, B'Elanna. I would have, too." They shared a rueful smile. That line had become quite the cliché in the past few hours. "I hadn't realized how much attention I haven't been paying to Harry's background briefings. I'm going to turn over a new leaf when we get back, I assure you."

"You won't be the only one, Tom."

"So, Lieutenant Torres, what's next on the agenda?"

"So formal? Fine." Amused by his exaggeratedly professional tone, B'Elanna inquired crisply, "Would you care to report on your morning's activities, Mr. Paris?"

"Happy to, Ma'am. In addition to the tubers that I have dubbed 'yams' in deference to their close resemblance to the Terran root of the same name, I have evaluated the following foodstuffs and found them suitable for consumption by both humans, Klingons, or any combination of the two. Four more varieties of tuber: two of them fairly tasteless. The third has a flavor reminiscent of celery; the last tastes a little like chocolatey potatoes. I swear." They both laughed at the incongruous combination. "I also found these fuzzy leaves growing in a whorly patch. They aren't very pleasant to eat because of the odd texture, but they brewed up into a slightly sweet, lemon-flavored tea. The leaves have citric acid in them for that nice, tangy taste. I was going to call it Vulcan-Ear Tea." B'Elanna raised her eyebrows in surprise but then laughed again. The pointed, brownish leaves did resemble Tuvok's ears.

"Lastly," he went on, "There are some dried seeds in these pods which, if ground, would make a coarse meal. We might be able to mix it with water to bake in the fire or cooking pot for a cornbread substitute. The seeds taste a bit like maize. And unless you want me to start in on testing insect larvae and grubs, that's about it."

"Sorry, no. Maybe if we run out of everything else, we can start with the insects. I would prefer not to."

"I know. I've already had enough of Neelix's grub casserole to last a lifetime," he groaned.

Demonstration over, Tom loaded his samples back into the cooking pot and picnic basket that he'd used for his food gathering expedition. B'Elanna picked up their canteens and the two beverage containers, refilled with fresh water dripping from the icicle formations on the cliff. Together, they walked back along the muddy, rocky field to their cavern home-away-from-home.

~~~~~

After stowing away the food supplies, Tom walked to their haystack bed and studied it for several minutes before being joined by B'Elanna. "If we're going to be spending any more nights here, and I'm pretty sure that we are, we have to do something about keeping that draft away from us."

"Agreed. Couldn't we build some kind of barrier or wind baffle? Maybe some kind of screen?"

"I thought of that, but without wood, there isn't much to use for a framework."

"How about cutting some of those stalagmite columns with a fine phaser beam and using those for supports? Weave a screen with the piton cords and straw?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Tom pulled out his wrist light and flashed it to the area where most of the stalagmites were located. He shook his head. "I doubt it, B'Elanna. Most of them are so big, they might be impossible for just the two of us to move even if we did cut away the excess stone. And these columns look a little too short for what you want." He flashed the beam of his light over the columns in the middle of the niche at the left side of the cave.

"Tom, what if we just cut those central columns out of this area. We'd have plenty of room for both of us to sleep, even on top of a haystack piled inside. This side of the cave is out of the direct line of the opening. It shouldn't be as drafty here. Of course, we couldn't stand up without banging our heads, but . . . " Looking back at the helmsman, she saw him staring intently at the row of stone columns on the perimeter of the low-ceilinged part of the cave.

"B'Elanna, I think we could form a little room out of this area if we chinked up the spaces between the row of columns with mud. Maybe add some straw and pebbles to the mud, firmed up with our phasers on the lowest setting. Like making mud brick."

Her whole demeanor brightened. "That would really keep out the wind!"

"And your idea about weaving straw with the piton cords? We could make a hanging to cover the doorway area, over here, by this space. If we enclose a space that isn't too big, the heat from our breath and bodies would raise the temperature inside, too. Like an igloo."

"A what?"

"An igloo. Centuries ago, the Arctic people used to live in homes cut right out of the ice. They were made so the family's bodies, with the help of a small fire or lantern of some sort, kept the igloo comfortable. I was a kid when I read about it, so I forget all the details, but I remember that it was important that the enclosed space wasn't too large. The dens of hibernating animals work the same way. They line the dens with leaves, fur, or some kind of insulating material, and their bodies keep them warm."

"So we put the hay and our blankets and us inside . . . ."

"And keep the cold air outside . . . what do you think, Lieutenant Torres?"

"I think it's time we started cutting some stone columns out of this cavern, Lieutenant Paris."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Enter."

Harry Kim followed Commander Chakotay into Captain Janeway's ready room.

"Take a seat, Ensign Kim." She gestured to a chair near her desk. Chakotay took the other out of long habit. "What have you to report about the supply situation of Mr. Paris and Lieutenant Torres?"

"I've done what I can to work out best case/worst case scenarios for their power and supply situation, Captain. The best we can tell according to our records, B'Elanna had between five and eight phaser power packs with her for their dilithium cutting expedition. We aren't sure if Tom took any extras or not, Captain. Although we assume that all of them were at full capacity because of the nature of the job they were doing, we don't know for sure. They have the usual basic knapsack contents with convertible blankets, some personal articles, wristlights, and Tom's Field Medic Kit. Tom also took some climbing equipment--at least four pitons and lines. Neelix remembers seeing that many lines on the cliff."

"I'm not surprised Neelix noticed that," commented the commander with an encouraging smile. Chakotay was concerned about the ensign's unusually reserved manner, not that it was particularly surprising. Harry's best friends on Voyager were the two officers marooned on Tantrum IV.

"No, it isn't much of a surprise." Ensign Kim continued, without any noticeable lightening of mood. "Also, they had some food. Ration bars and whatever they had left over from the lunch Neelix sent up. That's all we're sure of, Captain. Neelix thinks that when Larson and he were beamed up, Larson's pack and a picnic basket with some odds and ends were left behind. If so, they have an extra blanket and some tools, too. Or maybe they were lost in transport."

"So we can't be positive of anything but the merest minimum of supplies."

"No, Captain. Since there were plenty of those tubers left in the valley, they have food. The critical thing is having a sufficient heat source. We don't know for certain about the power consumption from the dilithium cutting. They could already be out of power, or they may have enough for several weeks, particularly if they use strict conservation measures."

"How cold does it get, Mr. Kim?"

"While we were monitoring the planet, the low at night reached minus 30° Centigrade at that latitude, so they may be . . . " Harry swallowed painfully, "Well, Captain, they may already be dead if they didn't find sufficient shelter in the cave or haven't used some other method of keeping warm."

The captain and the first officer gazed at each other. "Other method, Mr. Kim?"

"Well, they can build a fire, I guess, if they can find anything to burn. There was no sign of any wood there. And there are, uh, some other, um--biological ways to um, keep warm." The ensign's face flushed.

"Biological ways. That would make sense." Commander Chakotay knew exactly what Ensign Kim was trying to avoid saying. A glance at Captain Janeway's twitching lower lip told him that she was perfectly aware of those ways also, as he fully expected she would be.

After an awkward pause, Captain Janeway said, "Thank you for your report, Ensign Kim. Dismissed." As he got up to leave, the captain's eyes fixed upon her second-in-command in a voiceless message. A barely perceptible nod from him followed, and Commander Chakotay trailed the ensign as he left the room.

Just outside the ready room door, the commander halted Kim. With a cheerful smile, he clapped the young operations officer on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Harry. We'll get them back. They're both survivors."

"I know, sir." Harry sighed. "I guess I'm being selfish. Here I am, feeling lonely and put out that they're both gone, when they're the ones in a life-threatening situation."

"They're both very creative people. I'm sure that they'll have found a way to get a fire going, or they'll be using those . . . 'biological methods.' "

Noting Harry's swift intake of breath and a slight quirking of the lips, Chakotay surmised that the obvious warming of the friendship of Paris and Torres may have gone even further than he had realized. Leaning closer to the young man, the commander whispered, "Harry, what's the betting line?"

"Betting line, Commander?" he replied uncertainly.

"Mr. Kim. There is a betting line for virtually everything that happens on this ship. Even without Mr. Paris to run this one, I find it hard to believe that there is no betting line about whether or not Paris and Torres are using 'biological methods' to keep warm."

"There isn't one, Commander." Harry assured his superior, but then he hesitated. While his answer was strictly true, he was omitting an important additional fact.

"That's pretty hard to accept."

"Well, there's a reason there isn't any--Commander, you aren't going to let Tom and B'Elanna know about this when they get back, are you?" The commander, upon hearing Harry use the positive term "when" rather than "if," nodded his head in satisfaction. Mission accomplished.

"Of course not, Mr. Kim," Chakotay responded aloud.

Harry sighed, and this time, a sheepish grin spread across his face. "Commander, there isn't any betting line because no one will back the bet that they WON'T be using 'biological methods' to survive."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As B'Elanna bored the final hole for attaching their "door," Tom passed his phaser over the last section of the mud and stone wall they had built to seal out the cold air. The inside surface of the walls had already been treated, and the floor of the niche was covered with a thick layer of straw. A large chunk of stone had been left on the shelf formed by an irregularity in the cave wall, ready to be heated by a phaser blast for a supplemental heat source within the enclosure.

"Finished here, B'Elanna," Tom snapped the phaser off as he spoke.

"I am, too. Hand over the door." Tom picked up the hanging woven of piton rope and thick tufts of straw, of sufficient size to overlap the opening and block the cold air from easily entering their "den." Handing one rope end to B'Elanna while holding onto the other, Tom threaded the rope hinge through one of the holes carved through the stone. After she repeated the process with her end of the rope, the castaways stepped back to survey their handiwork.

"Looks good, B'Elanna, but the middle of the night will tell the tale."

"If we're out of the wind and there aren't any big cracks, we should do all right." Lifting up the straw door, B'Elanna crawled inside. Tom handed her their blankets and a light before crawling in after her. Together, they spread out their sleeping bag and blankets. "I feel warmer already, Tom."

"Good, because after last night, I'm not interested in feeling any more cool breezes while I sleep." He returned the twinkling smile he saw in her eyes. She was in good humor, and at that moment he thought he'd never seen anyone more beautiful in his life. Catching his breath, he added, "Let's get some dinner before crawling back inside our 'den' for the rest of the night."

Dinner was, surprise of surprises, "yams" with half a ration bar and a couple of mugs of "Vulcan Ear Tea." At the beginning of the meal, they chatted comfortably about nothing in particular. Once they'd finished eating, B'Elanna fell noticeably silent. After several of his more humorous attempts received not even the slightest response from her, Tom remained quiet himself.

B'Elanna took the last sips of her tea before saying hesitantly, "Tom, about last night. I, um, I just want to say thank you for your . . . I'm not sure what to call it. Efforts? To keep me warm, I mean."

"Don't mention it, B'Elanna. It wasn't exactly a hardship for me." His smile was warm and kind.

"About tonight. When we're in bed. I . . . I think maybe we can take things a little further. If we need to keep warm, I mean."

"I think you'll find we won't have to use such extraordinary measures tonight. You'll be much warmer, you'll see. Especially with the extra straw. I'll pile some on top of you to help keep you warmer . . ."

"Tom, what if I said that I'd like you to keep me warm? The way we didn't get to last night." Her eyes were still fastened on the bottom of her empty mug.

While he understood what she'd said and caught the meaning behind them, believing he had finally heard her say what he thought she had was a bit more difficult. He had to be sure and responded with, "If we got through last night, we'll be fine tonight."

Tom opened his mouth as if to continue when he saw B'Elanna bite her lower lip. She raised her face to him, her features illuminated by the flickering light of the campfire, burning more steadily tonight because of the dry vines that supplemented the knots of straw. The sparkling flames were reflected by her warm brown eyes, connecting with his in a way that he had seen only once before. That time, in the gallicite mine, she hadn't been herself. Tonight he knew of no event, no intoxicating substance or condition, that could account for that connection. Only one thing could have brought that expression to her eyes. He stared into them, speechless for once in his life.

"I thought you wanted to see my Klingon side, Tom. When I really meant it. I did mean what I said then--about being attracted to you."

"Last night . . ."

"Last night was last night, Tom. I meant it then, too, when I said we should, uh, we should have sex, but you were right. It wouldn't have been very comfortable for either of us last night. But I guess what we did do made me want to see what it would be like to really make love with you tonight. For real."

It was his turn to be silent. How many nights had he lain in bed during the last few months, dreaming of her saying what she was saying to him right now? In all honesty, the answer was every night. Tom had even imagined it happening in a cave, since the two of them had spent an inordinate amount of time in one cavern or another. Never under conditions like this, though. Tom was still unsure if her primary motivation was only to keep warm, rather than for any emotional attachment that she might feel for him. As he sat there, his mind churning over this unexpected proposition, he could think of dozens of reasons why he should put her off, and only one that said he should embrace the opportunity that presented itself; but that one reason was stronger than all of the others. He wanted her, too.

The noble Paris asserted himself. "B'Elanna, this is just as bizarre a situation as any other we've been in. And there have been some really bizarre ones, you have to admit. I do want you, B'Elanna, but not just as a one night stand, like I said last night. And not as a way of surviving a harsh climate, to just forget about afterwards as if it never really happened. Maybe we need to talk this out more to . . . ."

"Tom, we've talked enough. Over and over again--we've been dancing around this for months. If you really mean all those pretty things you've been saying to me, you'll say, 'yes, thank you, B'Elanna. Let's let it happen.' We are inevitable, Tom. I want to get over this wondering *when* it's going to happen and have it finally begin."

He was a bit stunned at the intensity he heard in her voice. Putting down his mug and walking over to where she was sitting, he knelt before her, the cold, hard stone biting into his knees. In his heart, he knew he had to be on his knees for what he needed to say to her. "B'Elanna. I want to 'let it happen,' too. But I still think it's too soon in our 'relationship'--yes, I *am* going to use that word if you're going to talk about making love with me!" He broke eye contact with hers momentarily, as he tried to keep his voice steady. "If you want me that badly, B'Elanna Torres, then I don't mind telling you that I want you just as badly. But there's going to be a condition--if it's going to happen tonight. I can be happy touching you and having you touch me the way we did last night. If we stop there, I'm pretty sure we'd be able to go along as we have, as friends, once we get back to Voyager. But those . . . intimacies . . . won't compare to what we'll do tonight if we go through with what you're asking, you know that. So will you promise me, B'Elanna?"

"Tell me the condition first, Hotshot, and then I'll see if I can promise."

"That when we get back to Voyager, you don't try to pretend that nothing happened here--that you just expect us to go back to the way we were before. B'Elanna, I want to explore what we can be to one another, to see if we are meant to be together, more than friends. To see if we actually *do* have a 'relationship.' That's my condition, B'Elanna. Will you do that?"

Turning her face away from his, she shook her head as if trying to clear cobwebs from it. "I don't know . . . ." Then she met his gaze again and half-smiled. "Why is it that you've never been hard to get for anyone on Voyager, except for me, Paris?" Even as she said this, she knew she was being unfair, but B'Elanna wanted to hear his answer.

He replied flippantly, "What, easy to get, me? B'Elanna, whatever could have made you think that?" B'Elanna had been doing her research and knew that he was telling the truth. Despite appearances, Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris was nowhere near the rake that he'd let everyone think he was by the way he talked and flirted. At this moment, however, she was reticent about letting him know how much she knew.

He took her hands in his. Softly, he went on, "Answer me, Torres. After all, I'm not demanding a lifetime commitment from you this minute. Just an end to this 'I-Pursue-You-and-You-Push-Me-Away' game we've been playing, long enough to see where we're headed. Stop running long enough to look around, Torres, maybe you'll enjoy the view!"

"Paris, you know you talk too much, don't you?"

"How could I avoid knowing it? You tell me often enough!"

While smiling at his arch comment, B'Elanna considered his request. He really wasn't asking all that much of her. A chance to satisfy their curiosity about each other, to see it they could avoid killing each other, no firm commitments? "All right, Tom. I can promise that much, at least."

Tom squeezed her hands, and she sensed a different quality about his eyes. The color was transformed into a deeper, even more beautiful shade of transparent blue than usual. For a moment, B'Elanna was conscious of a momentary dropping of the hard shell mask that Tom habitually wore to confound the outside world, allowing her the briefest of glimpses into the landscape of an incredibly vulnerable soul. And then he smiled back at her.

"In that case, B'Elanna Torres, let's get ready for bed."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was strange. Now that they were going to take this big step, both became incredibly awkward with one another. The stray thought that perhaps they should not go through with it crossed both of their minds, but neither mentioned it to the other. B'Elanna slipped inside their sanctuary first. Tom fussed over the extinguishing of the fire, gathering into his knapsack canteens, cups, phasers, and wrist lights. If the activities he had in mind were to be achieved comfortably, many of the items would be needed at some time during the night. Becoming parched from their exertions was likely during an eighteen-hours-long-night.

Crawling inside to their bed, gear in hand and wristlight switched on, Tom was surprised to see B'Elanna lying under the covers, fully dressed, even to her heavy jacket. "Expecting snow in here, Lieutenant?"

"Very funny, Paris. I got cold while we were yapping outside."

"Sure you still want to go through . . . ."

"I thought that had been established pretty definitively, Tom."

She was obviously nervous. So was he. It wasn't every day that a fantasy came true. Tom set the phaser on very low power and shot it at the rock designated as their radiator. "Be careful you don't get too close," he told her.

The look she shot him wordlessly conveyed her opinion that Tom's comment was an incredibly stupid, obvious thing to say. He didn't know if the increasing heat he felt on his face was his own flushed face or from the heated rock. Tom didn't care; it needed to be said.

Removing the wrist light and perching it in a crack in the wall, Tom pointed the lens up toward the ceiling for background lighting, away from their eyes.

"Aren't you going to shut it off? It'll waste power."

Tom exhaled an extremely visible puff of air, grinned at her, then allowed his grin to fade slightly into a smile before saying quietly, "No, I'm leaving it on. The first time, I want to see your face." B'Elanna made no verbal reply; but suddenly she grasped him by the neck and pulled his face down to her mouth, clearly intending to bite him.

He stopped her, saying casually but meaningfully, "B'Elanna, can we start slow, take it nice and easy, 'human-style' at first, if you want to call it that, and then work up to your Klingon side? At least, this first time."

She rolled her eyes as if exasperated; but, suddenly feeling shy, she nodded affirmatively. He smiled encouragingly before drawing himself up as erectly as a man can when he is almost two meters tall and the space he is occupying is less than a meter and a half high.

Taking a deep breath, and aware every second that B'Elanna's eyes were on him, Tom stripped off his jacket with its comm badge, spreading it at the head of where he was going to sleep. Next came his boots, socks, the away team silver jump suit, and the spare turtleneck that he had slipped on beneath his jumpsuit for extra warmth before dinner. Carefully folding everything he had removed, he placed the stack of garments next to the knapsack before slipping within the bag. It felt good to be under the covers, for despite the lack of wind, the small chamber was still cool at the moment. Hopefully, it would not stay that way.

Tom stroked the side of her face, cupped her jaw in his hands and leaned over to softly kiss her on the mouth. Her response was to nip him lightly on the cheek, making his pulse quicken. She was conscious of the slightly sweet smell of the haystack, the feel of his body next to hers, and his brilliant blue eyes upon her. After caressing her for a while, Tom leaned down on one elbow and breathed out, "Is your Klingon side ready to come out now, B'Elanna?" as he leaned his face down near her mouth.

It was, so she bit him.

~~~~~

Afterwards, Tom held B'Elanna close as she lay drowsily in his arms. Tom knew, from the boasting he had heard in more crummy bars in the Alpha Quadrant than he cared to count, that most men aspired to having a Klingon woman as a lover at least once in life. He managed, just barely, to contain his rage at whatever lover or lovers had taken B'Elanna before him. From the way she had responded to Tom, he could tell that they had taken her without any regard to her pleasure, which, if it came at all, was just accidental and secondary to the man's.

He could not help but feel sorry for B'Elanna for missing out for so much of her life on fully experiencing what was, to him, the most beautiful of acts, because of the selfishness of her partners. No wonder she had buried herself in Engineering, living like a Tabern monk. She hadn't known any better!

Observing B'Elanna's eyes flutter to a close as she slipped into an exhausted slumber, Tom stilled his hand and untangled the bedding from where it was twisted beneath them. Nudging B'Elanna onto her side, he spread the covers over them both. As her breathing settled into the steady rhythm of sleep, Tom touched the back of her neck with the lightest of kisses. Reaching up, he switched off the light before relaxing his own body to fit the along the contours of hers. Tom nestled close, allowing his own mind to wander as he enjoyed the feeling of just being with someone that he cared about as much as, in fact, possibly more than, he cared for himself.

Without fully realizing it until much later, as Tom lay with B'Elanna in his arms after that first time, he had already made a lifetime commitment to her: a commitment to make her happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was sitting alone again in a corner of the messhall when Kes came in for her dinner. Head bent over a PADD that he was studying intently, Harry Kim had what appeared to be a full serving of whatever Neelix was serving that night for dinner sitting in front of him. After three years on Voyager, Kes was well aware that Harry may have simply disliked what Neelix had prepared, and normally she would have assumed that was true. Tonight, however, her empathic senses told her otherwise.

Loneliness and worry emanated from Harry the way the scent of Kes' deepest red roses wafted through the hydroponics bay when they were in full bloom. She was not sure whether or not the human crew members, who were not particularly telepathic or psychic, were aware of it; but no one was sitting near him. Of course, he may simply have warned them away if they approached him.

Kes picked up a tray and decided upon a dinner selection. Murmuring her usual courtesies to Neelix, her ex-lover but current good friend, Kes walked down the room to find a seat of her own.

"Is this place taken?" she asked Harry.

"No, Kes. Please, sit down. I'll be going in a few minutes anyway to get back down to Engineering."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping we'd have a chance for a long talk. You've been working so hard lately on all the repairs. It's been ages since we had a chance for a nice long chat."

"A very long time. Almost a week, as I recall, when I finally repaid you the last of the month's worth of replicator rations I borrowed from you a while ago."

She smiled engagingly. "Well, a week is a long time to an Ocampa."

Harry tried to work out what one week in the nine year life span of an Ocampa equaled in the terms of a normal human life span. Quickly giving up, he said instead, "It isn't the same thing, I don't think. What I'd love to know is how you managed to save so many replicator credits. I always seem to be caught short."

"It helps that I don't mind Neelix's Delta Quadrant cooking as much as the rest of you do. I don't use nearly as many credits for food."

"That explains it," he smiled.

"Besides, Harry, that time it wasn't only the two of us. Tom and B'Elanna were with us that night at Sandrine's. When they're around, you must admit, the conversations always seem to revolve around them.

"They do go at it, don't they." Harry's expression turned wistful. "I wouldn't mind hearing their bickering right now, would you?"

"They're all right, Harry. I just know it," Kes agreed. Noticing the change in Harry's countenance, Kes lightly rested her left hand over Harry's right one. Turning his hand over, he clasped hers in return.

"I'll bet they're arguing about everything down there on that planet."

"Could be." Kes' smile became mysterious.

Noticing, Harry asked, "What, are you sensing anything?"

"Not through any 'psychic' powers, Harry. You know the way they've been looking at each other the past several weeks."

"More like months, in Tom's case, anyway."

"The way Tom feels, Harry, do you think he's going to pick at every little thing when both their lives are at stake? They'll be depending upon one another to survive. Tom and B'Elanna wouldn't put themselves in jeopardy by arguing over everything. They'll work together. What else do you think they'd be doing?"

"What everyone on board expects them to be doing, for one thing. That's why a betting pool couldn't be set up."

Kes laughed with him at first, but then her face turned solemn. "I'm afraid that's so, Harry. I'm more concerned about what will happen when they come back here than I am about their being on the planet now. There's been so much gossip floating around, even before they went on this away mission, and B'Elanna can be a little--quick to take offense sometimes."

"A *little* quick?"

"Maybe quicker than most people," she admitted.

" 'Most people' is an understatement."

As they shared another laugh, Kes became conscious of the fact that Harry now had her left hand firmly grasped in his right hand. Harry must have become aware of it as well, as his grin became awkward. He unclasped her as if to move his arm away, but Kes stopped him. Their eyes met as she rubbed the tops of his fingers lightly before letting go, but Harry had finally taken the hint. He left his hand on the table for her so that she could eat her dinner and still grab hold of him again if she really wanted. As she picked up her eating utensil to finish the last few bites of her food, Kes lightly traced a fingertip across Harry's palm. A subtle change in his breathing was his only response, yet a thrill went through her.

"How are the repairs going, Harry?" Kes asked the young operations officer.

"It's going fairly slowly at the moment. Checking and replacing the damaged circuitry is a tedious job without help from the main computer, but until the circuitry is fixed, we can't rely on the main computer. Every bit must be tested by hand to make sure there are no hidden weak spots or flaws, and just putting it all in . . . " As Harry spoke, his eyes became more animated, and he even picked up his own fork and started to eat cold food from his own plate.

As he spoke, Kes remembered their first meeting in the tunnels of the Ocampan homeworld, where she was born. She had enjoyed his company from the beginning, but not much of a friendship could occur between Kes and anyone male because of Neelix's jealousy of any man near "his Kes." Once she had decided not to see Neelix anymore in a romantic relationship, the way was clear for her to begin developing relationships with other members of the crew. Until now, however, her few real dates had been with people from off the ship, during shore leaves. Her socializing on board had been in groups, mainly in get-togethers with B'Elanna, Tom, and Harry.

With the pang that she always felt when the memory crossed her mind, Kes thought of her "daughter," Linnis, who had married Harry and borne him a son in a lifetime she now would never experience. Kes found it easy to see what Linnis had seen in Harry. His youthful exuberance was matched by intelligence and a pleasant, easy-going personality.

Although Harry was anything but vain, Kes had always thought he was extremely good looking, with obsidian eyes, handsome features, broad shoulders, and a head of hair her fingers fairly ached to touch. Kes tried to distract herself from the thoughts of running her hands through that thick thatch of his by concentrating on Harry's discussion of the repairs. Instead, she found her thoughts wandering back to Linnis and to Linnis' son Andrew. Harry's son, too, but with no Linnis, there could never be an Andrew. Or could there be? What if Andrew were not Kes' grandson at all, but her son?

Kes found herself blushing a little as these unexpected thoughts passed through her mind. She had only thought of Harry as a friend in the past. But, wasn't this what had happened with Tom and B'Elanna? They had worked together for over two years before Tom had begun to reveal romantic intentions to the chief engineer. Kes suspected Tom had been drawn to B'Elanna for much longer but had not felt confident enough to approach her any sooner than he had.

Before being stranded on Tantrum IV, as far as Kes knew Tom and B'Elanna were not aware of their true feelings for one another. But now? And if Tom and B'Elanna were to become closer, what about Harry? With the threesome becoming a twosome plus one, how would Harry cope? Who could comfort him, keep him from feeling left out?

Harry had been devoted to his fiancée Libby thus far, Kes knew, but as the trip took longer and longer, hopes of seeing Libby again had to be fading. Kes did not want kind, considerate Harry to be lonely.

Unabashedly looking into her own heart, Kes realized with a start that *she* wanted to be the one to keep him from being lonely. When did that happen? Kes did not know, but she quickly realized that her happiness when in Harry's company was not a new thing; it had been building for quite some time now. Why hadn't she recognized that she *had* been dating Harry? She belatedly saw that since almost all of her time with him had been spent on double dates chaperoning Tom and B'Elanna, Kes had never realized how her feelings had deepened towards the sincere young ensign.

"I'm sorry, Kes. I know I'm boring you. It doesn't take much for me to start babbling about the ship's systems.

"You're not boring me, Harry. I just have another problem in my mind which keeps distracting me."

"Can I help?"

Pulled up short by Harry's question, Kes thought quickly. She couldn't bring herself to admit her distraction had been inspired by thoughts of Harry, at least, not yet. After a brief pause, Kes was able to say, "As a matter of fact, you may be able to help. If you have time, do you think you could do the Doctor's weekly diagnostic? B'Elanna has been running it ever since his memory problems began. The Doctor's getting concerned that his program might become corrupted in some way, especially since he's been in the holoemitter this week longer than ever before."

"I can't believe that I forgot about the Doctor! We should have checked him out before this. I heard his voice when he contacted Captain Janeway on the bridge this morning, but it never even occurred to me that with the computer problems, the EMH could be in jeopardy. It was a lucky thing he was in the holoemitter when the ship's problems began."

"I'm not sure how much luck had to do with it," smiled Kes. "After the Doctor barely escaped with Commander Chakotay when the Nyrians took over Voyager, B'Elanna and I decided to rig up an automatic alert system. When certain things happen--an imminent computer or shield failure, for instance--I get a signal that reminds me to switch the Doctor into his emitter for safety's sake, until the danger is past. The alert went off the other day when the shields started going down. The system seems to have worked fine. His program has been running off the holoemitter ever since, but I think he should have a check-up if he's going to be out of the main system for much longer."

"You're right, Kes, he needs to be checked. B'Elanna never told me about that alert system, but it's a good idea. We certainly don't want to lose the doctor."

"When can you come to sickbay to run the diagnostic, Harry?"

"Right now, if you're finished with dinner. I really don't have any particular repair assignment this evening. Besides, working on the Doctor's program should be a priority. I'll have to stop down in Engineering to pick up the portable diagnostic equipment first, though."

"I'm done now, Harry. Let's go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dream was about being poked with an icicle. After B'Elanna returned to wakefulness, several seconds passed before she remembered where she was and why it was so dark. A little groping to investigate the poking sensation revealed that B'Elanna had somehow managed to open the side of the sleeping bag, half-slipping out of it in the process. A thick stalk of "hay" was poking her beneath her breast. The air, decidedly chilly wherever it flowed over the exposed part of her body, must have prompted the icicle part of her dream. She wasn't as cold as the previous night, to be sure; their "den" was serving its purpose of blunting the effects of the frigid draft. They were protected from the plunging temperatures that characterized the nights on their grim little world. As a vacation spot, this planet would have very little to offer, except for solitude.

One part of her body was very warm. Her buttocks were snuggled close to the heat-exuding physique of Tom Paris. While struggling a bit in the dark to reseal at least part of the side of the sleeping bag, B'Elanna thought about what had taken place between them. Incredible. The closest experience that she had ever had to it was when Jora Mirell/Karenna/whatever-her-name-really-was shared with B'Elanna her bittersweet memories of trysts with her long-dead lover Dathan. Those were the most sensual dreams she had ever had. The passions they had aroused in her while dreaming them had been, up to now, the highlight of B'Elanna's sexual experience. She reluctantly conceded that to herself now. B'Elanna had declined to examine her addiction to those dreams too closely at the time, not wanting to acknowledge the relative feebleness of her own responses during her previous sexual encounters.

Now, however, B'Elanna could assess her short list of previous partners and admit the truth: they had all been lousy lovers, compared to Tom Paris. Her first real taste of what the Klingon mating urge was all about had come courtesy of a man who once had seemed to be the epitome of a self-involved, cocky barfly, like the one in Sandrine's that he'd programmed on the holodeck. It was shocking to think how well Tom could disguise his true, compassionate self behind all those swaggering poses he assumed.

The last piece of the puzzle of her "research project" on the loves of Tom Paris fell resoundingly into place: don't believe everything you hear, she thought. And if you don't hear anything . . . Megan Delaney, when asked about her past, surprisingly long-term relationship with Tom, had said only, "Tom's a great guy." Her silence about him had always seemed strange. Now that she thought about it, though, B'Elanna realized that Megan wasn't the kiss and tell type, despite the ship's gossip.

B'Elanna began to smile, wondering just how good a lover Megan's new boyfriend Gerron Tem was if she had given Tom up for him--now that B'Elanna knew how good Tom was! Actually, now that she came to think about it, she didn't know why Megan had broken up with Tom the last time. She wasn't sure if anyone knew.

The little shiftings in body position B'Elanna made to enable her to fix the sleeping bag had their effect on Mr. Paris. She heard his breathing change before she felt his body stretch against hers. Taking advantage of the fact that she had already disturbed him, B'Elanna pulled the sleeping bag and blankets around and turned over to face him. Awake, or by reflex, Tom's arms opened for her, allowing her to wrap her own arms around him once she carefully arranged the blankets to cover both of them.

B'Elanna rested her head on firm pectoral muscles. The chest hair that had been so intriguing to play with during their lovemaking now provided a sensuous pillow beneath her cheek. The steady thumping of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest with each breath added to her feeling of contentment. The musky scent of his body mingled with the smell of the dried bedding straw enticed her with every breath. B'Elanna thought with amusement that if she had to be stranded here with somebody, she was glad it was this body.

That hair. She resisted playing with it at first, but, eventually, it became a magnet for her exploring fingertips. As she traced the pattern of hair on his body from his chest down along the midline, B'Elanna remembered with longing exactly what that body could do.

A low-pitched, purring voice was heard: "Wanna play?"

He was definitely awake now. Yes, B'Elanna was in the mood to play.

~~~~~

Afterwards, B'Elanna resumed the position she had been in at the time of his invitation to come play with him. Pleasantly warm, but not ready to sleep, B'Elanna decided that she wanted to know his reply to a question that had occurred to her just before she again had experienced the interpersonal relationship skills of one Thomas Eugene Paris.

"Tom, may I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How did you learn how to do what you just did with me?"

"Practice, practice, and more practice."

"Stop that! Don't play the pig with me, Paris! I know better."

His chuckle rocked her head where it rested over his heart. "I'm not kidding. As to whom the teachers were, well, I need to protect my sources. All I'm at liberty to say is that I am an apt and willing pupil whenever I can see the value in what it is that I am studying. And bringing pleasure to the one who is sending me to the heights of passion only seems fair." His voice changed its tone. Although his expression could not be seen, she knew it had turned serious. "The lovers you were with before, they don't seem to have followed the same credo."

"That's an understatement. They couldn't wait to finish with me; I can see that now. I just thought it was me, that I wasn't . . . well . . . that my being half-human must have done something to keep me from having that infamous Klingon 'sexual prowess.' "

"B'Elanna, you should have known that that wasn't true, especially after the way you responded to Vorik's . . . I don't know what it to call it, exactly, but the words 'attempted rape' come to mind."

"Don't remind me of Vorik! I feel like dislocating his jaw again! Especially when I think that if he hadn't interrupted us in the woods I could have felt this way before!"

Gathering her up into a great hug, he gave out a full-throated laugh. B'Elanna flushed with happiness at being alive at that very moment. She hadn't really gotten the answer to her question, however. "Tom, back to my original question. Why did you let everyone think you were such a pig when you first came on Voyager? I know you aren't really the way that you've been pretending to be."

"What makes you think I've been pretending?"

"I confess, Tom. I did some checking around since, well, since that *pon farr* thing, when you acted the opposite of the way I thought you would. Almost every one of the women that I talked to says the same thing--you had some laughs together, maybe some kissing, but you kept it light, no deep involvement. The only ones who aren't talking are Sue Nicoletti and Megan Delaney. I think Sue is too proud to admit that she hasn't anything much to tell, but you dated Megan for over a year. She refused to say anything to me about your love life, or why you broke up. Her silence was deafening! Other than that, though, she only had nice things to say about you. The way everyone else talks about you, you'd think that you were sleeping your way through the ranks until you get to Janeway. I know you aren't. Why are you making everyone think you're such a pig?"

He remained silent for a while before saying, "The truth is, I WAS a pig when I came on Voyager. I thought I had a reputation to uphold--for hotshot pilots everywhere. I just didn't get a chance to act on it before it got through my thick skull that it wasn't the right way to be if I was really going to redeem myself in the captain's eyes, or in everyone else's, either. I have you to thank for that, actually. Do you remember when you called me a pig when I programmed Gaunt Gary and the gigolo in Sandrine's?"

"Vividly."

"That shocked me. I couldn't believe that you would be offended by Gary's attentions. It made me take a long, hard look at what I had been doing to myself since I was cashiered from Starfleet. After the Caldik Prime accident . . . ." His voice trailed off as he immersed himself in memories from a time he would like to forget but couldn't, pondering how much he wanted to reveal to her. Just as she thought she might have to ask him to go on, of his own volition he did, in a husky, emotion-tinged voice.

"I can't tell you how hard that was--well, maybe I don't have to--your life hasn't been that easy. But anyway, even though my father didn't exactly disown me, he was so upset by the way I'd screwed up his dreams for my future that I couldn't bear to look at him when I was near him. I bummed around, getting jobs where I could, hardly enough to pay my bar bills half the time. And if a woman was willing to let me into her bed, I took her up on it. No questions asked, but no promises made, either. I don't even want to think about some of the things I did then. I wasn't much better than that gigolo more times than I'd like to admit."

B'Elanna felt his hands start to stroke her back, but this time, she was sure he was not trying to start anything sexually but instead was deriving comfort, perhaps absolution, for what he was confessing. She had a hunch that Tom had not even spilled all of this out to Harry.

"I spent most of those years, before and after I landed with the Maquis, as drunk as I could afford to be. When you've passed out under the table, you don't have to think about how you've wasted your life. And the rest of the time I used sex as an anesthetic. It felt so good--probably the only time I did feel good." Tom shifted his body a little and began to stroke B'Elanna's hair. "But you know, B'Elanna, even then, I never lost sight of the fact that the woman I was with was giving me a gift. Her body. I could use it for my own needs, or I could share a wonderful experience with her. I chose to share, B'Elanna, not only because it was fair, but because it was the only way I could pay her back for making me feel like--like somebody again. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I do, Tom." B'Elanna was a little sorry, now, that she had made him talk about it. The thrilling sexual experiences he had shared with her were payback: for allowing him to have sex with her in the first place, for keeping him warm, maybe even for being his friend. She would have liked for it to have been as special for him as it had been for her, but then she berated herself for being foolish. Instead of dreaming of a deeper relationship with Mr. Paris, as he seemed to have had briefly with Megan Delaney, B'Elanna would have to be content with what he had to offer--his left hand, stroking her head; his right hand, now traveling down to her hip in rhythmic motions; his body, pressing close to hers in the darkness--she could enjoy these sensations. Just don't look for anything more.

His soft voice broke into her reverie. "You still awake?"

"Yes. I was just thinking about what you said. Did you ever talk to Harry about this?"

"God, no, I wouldn't want to burden him with this. The only reason I told you is because you insisted. And I guess I do want you to understand about my past, now that we've been intimate with one another." She felt his lips touch each of her forehead ridges in succession with a light kiss, quite a trick when it was as dark as it was, before feeling him shake with laughter. "Harry, he was so innocent when we first met! Do you know he was actually gullible enough to believe me when I told him I'd left five girlfriends behind me in the Alpha Quadrant? That was back when he was too afraid to date anyone because he'd left Libby behind. As if I'd had access to any girlfriends while I was in prison!"

"Maybe he thought it was the kind of prison where you could have 'female visitors' for that sort of thing."

"Conjugal visits were allowed, but only if you were married. I guess I won't have to worry about that any more. If I do get thrown back into Auckland when we get home to the Alpha Quadrant, at least you'll be making some conjugal visits to me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I thought that now that we've done 'the deed,' we're mates for life."

She snorted in disbelief. "Don't be silly, Paris."

"It is Klingon tradition, after all."

"Uh-huh, and I know what a student of Klingon tradition you've become lately."

"I have, and a wonderful tradition it is, too, most of the time. Although I'm not that crazy about the concept of killing your superior at the first sign of weakness as a means of getting promoted."

"I'm not crazy about that one, either."

"So, you sure you don't want to take the marriage oath, B'Elanna? I'm willing and ready."

"Right. Just go to sleep, Paris."

Giving him a hug as she listened again to the rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her ear, B'Elanna snuggled her body as close to his as she could. She felt his arms close around her in a tender embrace, felt him plant another kiss on the top of her head. As she began to drift off to sleep, the thought crossed her mind that it certainly was nice to feel so warm and cozy, wrapped up with Tom like this.

Tom was satisfied too, but not as greatly as the one who was lying in his arms. Since she had no idea how serious he had been, B'Elanna never detected the sense of dejection he was feeling because the one he loved had rejected his marriage proposal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Everything looks fine, Doctor. Your power pack doesn't show any noticeable drain. I'd say that you could run a couple of weeks in the holoemitter, in a pinch, before running into any problems."

"That certainly is good news. Lieutenant Torres had discussed running some further tests about the power question, but I guess we'll have to wait for her return, won't we. How soon will that be, Ensign?"

"A few more days at least, Doctor. We still aren't up to full strength on the shields or the propulsion system. We've had to prioritize our repair schedule according to which systems needed to be completed first."

"Well, I guess that means that the Holodecks are the last priority, then. Who needs entertainment when everyone is so busy fixing things?" The Doctor's smile appeared to be somewhat forced.

"Actually, Doc, the holodecks are already fixed. We needed their replicators for manufacturing extra parts. Why are you interested in the Holodecks?"

The Doctor looked over at Kes, who smiled encouragingly. When the EMH did not immediately respond to Harry's question, Kes did. "The Doctor's been trying to decide about whether or not to continue his family program."

Harry was surprised. "Doctor, wasn't that program pretty painful for you? Tom said he didn't think you'd want to continue it, since you had so much trouble finishing up with it last time, when your daughter, uh . . . " The ensign's voice faded away. Just how personal could he be with a hologram? Would he have his feelings hurt?

The EMH took on a decidedly pained expression. "Mr. Paris' advice to go back and face Belle's death was extremely difficult to take, but I must admit, it was good advice. I had my chance to say goodbye to her. She was . . . a remarkable child. However, I also have the rest of my family, Ensign. I created them for a purpose, and that purpose still exists. I have learned much about humanoid emotions and behavior from it already, and, while I certainly hope I will not have to go through a great many tragedies in order to improve my programming, I believe it is time to face my future without hesitation."

"Doctor, the last time you went back was when Belle died. How are you going to handle the lapse of time? If you go back immediately after her death, you're going to have to deal with your wife's grief. If you leave a gap of time, you'll owe your wife and son an explanation," Kes said worriedly.

"Thank you for your concern, Kes, but I went back on one other occasion, for Belle's memorial services. Mr. Paris accompanied me, since he had programmed the services. We discussed then whether or not I would continue the program, and I wasn't sure. Mr. Paris modified the program to indicate that I had to go off-planet for a special conference. That would account for an absence of several weeks. If I ever did decide to return, the explanation for my being gone would already be in place. Mr. Paris can be very helpful when he wants to be."

Kes and Harry smiled at each other. "Yes, we know, Doctor," commented Kes.

"If you want to see your family, I'll check with Engineering and see if they're still using the Holodecks for repairs. As soon as it's clear, I'll let you know so you can reserve some time."

"Thank you, Ensign. I appreciate that. Now, I have some tests to run, so if you're quite finished here . . . "

With Kes' help, Harry packed up the last of his equipment. "Of course, Doc. We can take a hint."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sniffing the air, Tom teased B'Elanna, "Catching the lover's scent is definitely not a problem right about now, is it?

Tossing over another chunk of vine for her grinning companion to add to their mid-morning meal fire, B'Elanna answered, "Speak for yourself, Paris. I smell just fine."

"I'm not going to argue with a Klingon."

She grinned back at him. "The air is just getting a little zesty from your--how shall I say it--manly scent?"

"Seriously, B'Elanna, I need a bath desperately. These wipes with a washcloth are simply not good enough. At midday the air is warm enough for a good scrub, especially if we do it in front of the cliff in the sun. I think even your thin Klingon blood could take it then."

"I agree. Besides, washing our bodies could be fun, as long as I get to scrub yours and you scrub mine." A calculating gleam appeared in her eyes as she looked the lanky lieutenant up and down.

"Predator," he said, prompting a laugh and a swift, "And don't you just love it?" from B'Elanna.

"Actually, Tom, just bathing ourselves won't be good enough. Our clothes need it, too. Soon we'll be able to prop them up in the corner, waiting for us to put them back on. How can we do this?"

"We could launder our clothes together and then wash up while they're drying. That ought to be fun. Or we could take turns. One of us could bathe while the other washed the clothes in the creek, then vice-versa. The sun will dry the clothes pretty fast, as long as it stays out."

"Sounds reasonable."

At the conclusion of their meal, Tom went outside with the lighter, some vines for fuel, and the cook pot. After filling the pot with ice chunks and setting it upon the rough fire to melt the ice into water warm enough for bathing, Tom looked up at the sky. It was no longer a bright orange, but the sun continued to be stained a warmer color than its natural yellow-white. It felt warm against his face, and he judged that removing their clothing to wash should not be too uncomfortable.

Retrieving all of their spare clothing, the blankets, and some soap from one of the backpacks, Tom washed the extra clothes and their sleeping bag blankets in the frigid creek. He was already spreading them on some nearby rocks before B'Elanna came outside the cave. As his companion approached, Tom called out, "So, are we going to do our washing together or separately?" His broad grin let her know that laundry was not the kind of washing experience he had in mind.

She refused to rise to the bait. "Taking turns sounds good to me."

"Do you want me to wash what you have on first, B'Elanna?"

"It should be warmer in the afternoon, Tom. I'd rather wait until then to wash myself. So take off your clothes, Paris, all of your clothes, and I'll wash them for you." She sent him a come-hither growl. After he stripped the rest of his garments off and handed them to her for washing, Tom sat on a rock, his body wrapped in the blanket abandoned by Neelix that was to serve as both towel and modesty covering, watching B'Elanna launder his clothes in the creek before placing them on the rocks to dry.

When she was done washing his uniform, they went up to the cook pot of now-warmed water. Tom rubbed a small chunk of soap on a washcloth and began to wash himself, acutely conscious of B'Elanna's self-interested scrutiny.

"Need help scrubbing your back, Flyboy?" she breathed into his ear, causing him to jump back from where he was standing.

One look at her face told him that she was going to have her way, no matter what he said. A Paris smirk appeared on his face as he handed her the washcloth and soap.

Her hands were strong, and the scrubbing she gave his back, shoulders, and the back of his neck was delicious. When B'Elanna moved around to his front and began to lave his chest, he grabbed her hand and said, "I can reach my chest, you know."

"Just want to make sure we do a thorough job." He relented gladly; he had seldom seen her in such a bubbly mood.

By the time she had moved her attentions from his chest, Tom was groaning, "I don't know how we're going to handle this, B'Elanna, without some 'adjournments' to take care of a little lust in between personal hygiene sessions."

"I don't see anything to complain about with that, Mr. Paris." She sat down on the rock next to him and moved her hand to his bare thigh.

"Glad to hear it, Babe."

"What did you just call me? Baby!" Her romantic mood broken, B'Elanna squeezed Tom's thigh so hard that he yelped. Calling a half-Klingon "Baby" was too close to calling her a weakling. Tom was reminded once again that while B'Elanna might decry her Klingon side, it could still emerge with a vengeance on very little provocation.

"Not Baby. Babe. It probably started out being 'Baby,' but it's been used to refer to a beautiful woman for a couple of centuries now." Uncertain from her stormy expression that he was placating her, Tom deepened his voice to a silky purr. "A 'Babe' is particularly luscious and desirable. Just like you, B'Elanna. Or, if you prefer, I can just call you 'Be'.' That's Klingon for 'woman,' isn't it?"

"Why do you have to call me anything other than B'Elanna?"

"Hey, if you can call me Flyboy, Helmboy, and Hotshot, shouldn't I be able to call you Babe or Be?' " His quirky smile was fully visible now.

She blew out a bemused breath, "OK, Hotshot, you can call me 'Woman,' if you want to. Your accent is really bad, you know that, don't you?"

"Sure, Be'. But fair is fair."

"Fair is fair," she agreed as she began to knead the flesh of his thighs.

Pushed back against the cliff wall by an engineer with designs upon his body. Tom gloated, "I've created a monster." His smile was blissful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you want me to bring you anything else, Harry?" Kes placed his cup of Tarkalian tea on the table before him.

"No, this is fine."

"Don't you want any sugar?"

"If you have some, but don't go to any trouble."

"It's no trouble; I'm sure I have some." Kes poked around inside the minuscule storage cabinet next to her replicator. Taking out a small container, she set it in front of Harry from behind him while pressing her weight against his back and right shoulder. He was acutely aware of her warm softness and the scent of what seemed like lilac perfume. Kes remained behind him, both of her hands resting lightly on his shoulders, as she asked, "Are you sure you don't want anything else?"

"This is just great." Harry had to twist his body around to address her and found that her lush mouth was mere centimeters from his lips. 'My God,' he thought, 'She's coming on to me. Isn't she?' He became flustered again, as he had in the mess hall when she had, without saying a word, insisted that he leave her hand near hers.

By the time they had gone to see the Doctor yesterday, Harry had convinced himself that he was mistaken about her reason for stroking his hand; she had only wanted to comfort him and to alleviate his concern about Tom and B'Elanna. Tonight, as she took her seat at the table across from him in her quarters and favored him with the full force of those baby blue eyes, he was sure that making him comfortable was not her primary intent.

Her lips parted to admit a sip of tea, and as the cup left her lips, she delicately slipped the tip of her tongue from one side of her upper lip to the other. No, Harry Kim was not feeling particularly comfortable at the moment.

"Is something wrong, Harry?"

"Oh, no, nothing."

"You've gotten so quiet."

Conscious that he had been staring at her, Harry flushed deeply.

"A penny for your thoughts, Harry--that's an old Earth expression," she added helpfully.

Her bow mouth turned upward into a bright smile, bringing to Harry's mind that Kes had shown signs of having psychic powers. If he had been wrong about her coming on to him, and if she could read his thoughts . . . Harry uneasily reviewed the possible explanations he could give her for his gaffe, without being able to think of anything remotely appropriate. The only utterance he could manage was a barely coherent, "I--um--a penny?"

Her laughter ascended a musical scale of merriment. "What's the matter, are your thoughts worth more than that?" Her body was leaning in towards his again, and the low pitched voice emanating from her grin was even breathier than usual.

"Uh, I guess I'm wondering if you know what I'm thinking already."

"I hope I do, Harry."

He gulped. "What am I thinking, then?"

"I hope you are thinking about how attracted to me you are, because I am very attracted to you."

The tension Harry was feeling changed in character, and his nervousness faded. Harry thrust his hand out in front of him. Kes interlaced her fingers with his before closing their hands together in a warm grasp.

"I think we are on the same page, Kes. That's another old Earth expression that means we are thinking the same thing."

For a few minutes, Harry lost himself in Kes' smile, hoping that she was telepathically attuned to him as he indulged himself in thinking delightful thoughts about what he would like to be doing with her, other than holding her hand while they both sipped tea. From the shifting smiles that played upon her lips and reached her eyes, she might well have been receiving his thoughts.

Then, the mood breaker. Harry suddenly realized that the angelic creature that he was fantasizing about wasn't even four years old yet, prompting him to shake his head and chuckle.

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking, Harry Kim, Cradle Robber."

She understood the reference. "Harry, that's not true! Neelix may have been a cradle robber; I was pretty young when we started our relationship. If you compare Ocampan life spans to humans, though, I would be older than you--well into my thirties, at least. I'd be getting close to middle age. I think I must be the cradle robber!"

"Can't be. You don't look a day over two."

As Kes' answering smile turned pensive, she languidly ran her thumb up the inside of Harry's right forearm, eliciting a further thrill in another part of him.

"Thanks, Harry. I'm flattered, of course. I've been thinking more and more about this lately. I've accepted that I'm only going to be around for a short time, compared to a human. Compared to a Vulcan, my life span is like a Kabarra fly's! It's over almost before it's begun. I don't mind, really, but I'm conscious that I don't have any time to waste. I'm going to be four soon, which means my Elogium can't be far in the future--the real one, this time--and I have a problem."

"A problem? What kind?"

"I don't have a partner to father a child."

"Didn't Neelix say he would do it?"

She looked away from him, her mood becoming sadder. "Only after thinking about it for a VERY long time, and then he was relieved when it wasn't the real thing. I think he would have preferred to put it off forever, even when we were a couple, supposedly committed to each other for life."

Her eye gaze returned to Harry's face. "I have a confession to make, Harry. After that happened, I had doubts about my relationship with Neelix, whether I really wanted him to be a father to a child of mine. I still loved him very much, so I put it all out of my mind. I even begged Captain Janeway to bring him back to me when he and Tuvok were turned into Tuvix by that transporter accident. Things weren't really the same, though, and the seed was planted in my mind that being mated to Neelix for life, Ocampan tradition or not, might not be what I wanted for myself."

This confession was difficult for her, Harry could see. Kes' eyes blinked frequently, and her voice was intensely emotional, without a trace of her usual light, reserved tones. Trying to help relieve her of some of her distress, Harry contributed, "When both parties only live nine years or so, like the Ocampa, I would imagine that mating for life isn't really a hardship. It's different with other races that live so much longer. Mating for life is an ideal, and many are able to do it happily, but not everyone is cut out for it."

"You're right, Harry, of course, and since there are no other Ocampa for me to mate with here, everyone is from a longer-lived species. And that's a big problem for me. If I have a child with a man of another race, the child would have the genetic codes of a short-lived Ocampa and of the longer-lived species. Would the child's life span be like mine, like the father's or maybe a compromise? If it's like the father's or a compromise, I might not even see my son or daughter reach adulthood. The father would be the one to raise the child the rest of the way. He would need to be truly committed to parenthood. I didn't feel that commitment from Neelix when we were together; how can I expect that from him now that we are apart?"

In all honesty, she could not, and Harry knew it. Hearing her speak like this, he comprehended the reason for her seductiveness. She was looking for a father for her child. Recalling what Kes had already said to him, Harry suddenly understood that he was going to be having a lot to think about, and soon.

Draining the last drop of tea from her cup, Kes continued, "That was in my mind for a long time, even though I was trying not to pay any attention to that little voice that was prodding me to do something about it. Then Tieran took over my mind and body, and one of the first things he did was break up with Neelix for me. After I got my body and mind back, I realized that he had only done what I really wanted done but was afraid to do myself. After Tieran, I was . . . different. A different person. Do you know what I am trying to say, Harry?"

"I think so, Kes. After all that's happened in the Delta Quadrant, I don't feel like the same Harry Kim that left Earth, either."

That brought a smile back to her lips. "Well, strictly speaking, you AREN'T the same Harry Kim, at least, not the one that left Earth on this Voyager."

That made him laugh, too, but only for a few seconds. "You're absolutely right, in fact, I guess you could say that I might even be the second replacement Harry Kim. But that wasn't what I was getting at, Kes. Even the replacement Harry Kim changed after the Akiterian prison."

"Harry, you aren't still feeling guilty about that, are you? You were being tortured with that Clamp! Tom understands--he was going through it himself."

"All the same, I shouldn't have gotten so angry with him when he was so sick. He was injured protecting me. If Captain Janeway and the rest hadn't gotten us out when they did, he would've died, and me too, probably."

"The captain did come though, and you're both fine now. Tom has accepted it; he's put it behind him."

Harry pushed himself away from Kes' table and stood, pacing her living area from one end of the room to the other until Kes stepped in front of him, blocking his way.

"Tom doesn't blame you, Harry. He's grateful just to have survived."

"So am I, Kes, but that doesn't mean I can forget that I almost killed my best friend."

"You didn't kill him."

"No, luckily, I didn't. Some things just don't go away so easily, that's all I'm saying. Especially when I remember that Harry Kim, replacement or not, has had his life saved by a Tom Paris who gave up his own life in another timeline, dimension, whatever, so that I could be here standing in this room with you right now."

"And of course, there was that other replacement Harry Kim who was the only survivor--only adult survivor, anyway--of that other Voyager, when the Tom Paris on that ship died, too. Aren't you feeling guilty about that, too, Harry? If you're going to feel guilty, you might as well go all the way with it."

"Kes, please . . . ."

The usually serene Ocampan's voice shook as she choked out, "While we are spilling out all the guilt, Harry, what about me? When I was Tieran, I KILLED people. Maybe I wasn't in my 'right mind' when I did it, but this body is responsible for murder. I can't say that I'm really over that, either; but I am trying to keep it from haunting me."

"Kes . . . " Harry reached out for the slight young woman, who leaned into his arms. They embraced for a long time. When she relaxed her hold, Harry straightened his stance so that they could look into each other's faces although he did not release her. "You're right about not letting it haunt me. I try not to, but the truth is, no matter which Harry Kim this is, I'm different. Maybe different isn't bad, either. I was really naïve when I arrived on Voyager. Did I ever tell you how Tom saved me from wasting a lot of money on junk gems that some Ferengi barkeeper tried to sell me?"

"I don't think so," she smiled. "I'd like to hear about it sometime."

"Maybe later I'll tell you," he grinned back at her. "I guess growing up is just awfully hard, no matter how old you are when you're doing it."

"That's true of any change, Harry, not just growing up. Take it from a very mature, almost-four-year-old Ocampa."

"You are definitely the most mature three-year-old I have ever known."

Harry enfolded her again in a friendly hug. As they stood so close together, the ensign felt strong feelings wash over him, causing his hold to tighten. Was he feeling his own emotions, or was Kes projecting her own upon him? He finally decided that it didn't matter if he were feeling what Kes was feeling; he was sure his own attachment to the beautiful woman in his arms was real.

As they held each other, Harry no longer thought of Kes as Neelix's former lover and child "bride" but as the warm, desirable woman to whom he had been attracted for a very long time. He knew that if he'd been honest with himself, he would have realized long ago that the sole reason he had not approached Kes as soon as she had been free of Neelix was his own reluctance to let go of Libby.

Why had he borrowed all of those replicator rations from her, if not to have had the excuse of repaying them a few at a time? Every time he had "made his loan payment," as they had laughingly called it, Kes and Harry had gotten together for what amounted to a date. He hadn't particularly wanted or needed the things he'd obtained with the rations, either. Harry had blown them on frivolities.

Loosening his hold on Kes, Harry moved his hands from her back to gently cup her face before he kissed her. Like their hug, the kiss began as a gentle touch but deepened into an intense sharing of their feelings. When their lips parted, his dark eyes shone down into her pure blue ones, reading in them a passion that both realized would not be quenched without a more intimate bonding of their bodies. First, though, there was some unfinished business.

"Kes, I think we have some serious talking to do about Libby, Neelix, and exactly what I can expect when you go into this Elogium of yours." Her delighted grin was only the first of her replies to him.

~~~~~

Although Kes heard no alarm, she awoke at her customary time of 0545 hours. She was not lying in her customary position in a fetal position on her bed. Instead she found herself curled up on her couch, snugly wrapped in the arms of Harry Kim. They had fallen asleep there after talking half the night and arriving at a momentous decision. As she rolled her body carefully away from Harry so as not to disturb him too soon, her face glowed.

She had been feeling for some time that a change was coming, and now that she knew what shape that change would take, Kes felt happier than she had at any time in the three years since she left her homeworld forever to embark on this wild adventure to the stars. For the first time in ages, Kes had no doubts at all that her life was following a course that had been preordained for it. Painful as it was to think about from Neelix's point of view, Kes was sure that the Talaxian's one true role in bringing her away from her home planet and onto Voyager had been to deliver her into the arms of Harry Kim.

Loyal Harry, who, until he was ready to finally accept that his life with Libby could not reasonably be expected to happen, couldn't have come to her as he had last night. She wouldn't have wanted him to be any other way. Friendly, yet private, too. A responsible Starfleet officer, yet a passionate lover. The man who would father her child, or perhaps children. Now that she was no longer under the influence of the Caretaker, would the old Ocampan heritage of each mother having a multiple birth when she came to her Elogium return? Kes wished she had thought to ask the Ocampa who lived on Suspira's array more details about their childbearing; but she had forgotten.

For a moment Kes allowed herself to wish that her life span could be extended for a longer time, to let her be with Harry no matter how long it might take for her child or children to become adults. A few tears glistened in her eyes as Kes ruthlessly set aside her fantasy. Living a long life was not possible for her, that was something she knew intrinsically. Maybe that was just as well for Harry, and perhaps for Libby, too, if she proved just as loyal to him.

Kes had no illusions; she would never see the Alpha Quadrant, even if a shortcut was found for Voyager and her crew eventually. Kes simply knew for a fact that she would be gone by then, but she would make Harry happy for as long a time as she had with him. If Libby was the woman that Kes suspected she might be, if she had waited for Harry until he returned, would she be able to accept half-Harry, half-Ocampan offspring? Kes truly hoped so.

As she ran her fingers through Harry's hair, Kes thought sadly, 'Linnis, the Linnis I once met, you are not here. Harry is my love instead. Please forgive me, Linnis. I pray that your soul will be born into one of our descendants someday. Maybe you will be OUR daughter. Just as long as you can find a man like Harry, Linnis, you will be blessed.'

The light touch of Kes' fingers gradually roused Harry from his slumber. "What time is it," he mumbled sleepily.

"Almost 0600, Harry. It's time for both of us to get ready for our shifts."

They stood up and straightened their rumpled clothing, putting their arms around each other for a last embrace. As Kes handed Harry the PADDs that he had brought with him to her quarters, he asked, "Meet you in an hour or so in the mess hall for breakfast?"

"I wouldn't miss it. What time do you think you can get free for lunch?"

"I'm not sure. Sometime between 1200 and 1330, I think. Is it okay if I hail you? If you get hungry, Kes, you can go on ahead, of course."

"I think I'll be able to hold out. We really should be together when we tell Neelix. Dinner here, around 1800?"

"I'll be here. Do you want me to bring anything?"

"Just yourself. And a change of clothes and a toothbrush, unless you want to replicate them once you're here. I don't have any time to waste, you know!"

He grinned. "No, and I don't either. See you in a bit." As he walked to the door, he turned around again. "Love you."

She smiled. "Love you, Harry."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite the cold outside their den, Tom and B'Elanna felt warm enough wrapped in their sleeping bag and blankets to be lying naked in bed. Their bodies were as close together as two bodies could be, touching along their entire lengths to share and conserve body heat. B'Elanna was amazed at the amount of heat Tom's male body could throw off after their passionate embraces. He never seemed to tire of all the activity that they could muster, either.

More would be needed, of course. The night was only about two thirds over. After sleeping for several hours between lovemaking sessions, however, Tom and B'Elanna were restless and looking for some other activity to pass the time before the desire for sleep reasserted itself. As B'Elanna had suggested they leave the lights off unless they were absolutely necessary so as to conserve power, their soft voices sounded in utter darkness.

"You're big on Klingon customs, Tom. How about courting me? A love poem would be nice."

"Courting you, Torres? Haven't we already gotten close enough for you to skip the love poems? I've been thinking of us as an old married couple already, in the Klingon way, of course."

"Some student of Klingon tradition you are. Don't you know that you never really get past the courting part? Some matings always need it! Not that we are mated in the Klingon way, anyway. Come on, Paris, sweep me away with your verse."

"I've never found you to be the swept away type, B'Elanna."

"A tall, well-favored, well-connected man like yourself must have a repertoire of poems to impress a woman."

"Not this one."

"Come on, Tom, there must be one you know!"

He sighed. "Okay, B'Elanna. Here's one:

"You know that it would be untrue,
You know that I would be a liar,
If I were to say to you,
Girl, we couldn't get much higher.
Come on, baby, light my fire,
Try . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "


"Tom, is that one of those dreadful songs you're always singing? The stone and whatever you call it songs?"

"Rock and roll songs, B'Elanna. It started out that way, but the lyrics have certainly stood the test of time . . . ."

"Forget it, Paris. That does not qualify as love poetry. Come up with something else."

"You know, Torres, if I had expected to be stranded here like this, I would have set aside some time to memorize a few Klingon-approved love poems. I had no idea we would get to this stage of our relationship for some time yet. I've never been particularly interested in memorizing poetry for its own sake."

"Humor me. We're already skipping the throwing of heavy objects."

"Good thing, too. Just about the only heavy throwable things around here are rocks. If you brain me, Torres, it's gonna be awfully cold in here."

Pressed close to her body, Tom could feel as well as hear her stifle a laugh. He reached out to stroke her, trailing his fingertips up her back and across her shoulders, ending with a gentle caress to her cheekbone. As he turned to kiss her, he heard her say, "Not so fast, Flyboy. I'm still waiting for my love poem."

Sighing again, he thought a moment. "I guess there are a few tried and true poems that I can recall from my tramping-around-the-Alpha-Quadrant days. Let's see . . . I know, here's one:

"There once was a lass from Parduck,
Who found herself down on her luck,
She had nothing to sell but . . . . . ."


"Dirty limericks don't count either, Paris."

"B'Elanna, within the limited parameters you're allowing me, it's going to be getting awfully cold in here soon."

This time, she could not hold in her laughter. "Tom, you must remember some scrap of poetry that you can recite to me. Or don't you have a head for memorizing?"

"Come on, B'Elanna. You know a pilot has to memorize lots of things. I just never had much use for memorizing love poetry. Before coming on Voyager, I wasn't seeing the class of women who cared much for that sort of thing. They were more interested in credit lines."

"Or beautiful blue eyes."

"Well, maybe that too. I sure didn't have much of a credit line." Tom was chuckling now, too. Deepening the register of his voice as much as he could, he breathed seductively, "If we turned a light on, B'Elanna, I could try the blue eyes on you."

"I already know what they look like, Paris," she replied dryly. B'Elanna did not want to look into those eyes; they might distract her just as much as he hoped they would. "Come on, there must be some verse or two that you know of real poetry."

"Of course I do. They just wouldn't qualify as love poems, I don't think."

"Recite one, Tom. I may cut you some slack."<