Title: How Do I Live (#1 in the Radio Series)

Author: OXBastetXO  

Category:   Romance, Smarm

Spoilers:   Children of the Gods

Sequel/Season Info: anytime

Rating:  PG

Content Warning: none, other than you might need a few kleenexs

Summary:  Working late on a report at the base, Daniel listens to a song the radio and his thoughts stray to Sha're.

Showtime and MGM/UA owns Stargate: SG-1 and all there in. I'm just borrowing them for a bit, and I promise to give them right back when I'm done.  Well, most of them, I might just keep Jack and Daniel for a bit longer. The song 'How Do I Live' belongs to Trisha Yearwood, not me.

How Do I Live

by

OXBastetXO

Doctor Daniel Jackson stared at the computer terminal in front of him and then glanced back down at his notebook. He was supposed to be writing up a report of P3X246, but what he really wanted to do was take a hot shower and get some sleep. P3X246 had been a bust. The pictures the MALP had sent back had looked promising, but when they had gotten there all they had found was a barren rock of planet. The inhabitant, if they were still alive, hadn't been there in centuries.

They had found traces of some sort of natural disaster and of a mass evacuation, but that was it. Not really any artifacts or much of anything else. They seemed to have packed up every and left, quickly. Carter had taken some soil samples and they had left.

Now, he sat here writing up a report about, well, basically, nothing. He sighed and slipped off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He slipped his glasses back on and grabbed his coffee cup. More coffee, he needed more coffee.

He started out for the break room. Some where down the hallway he heard a radio playing. Country, he though wearily. Why does someone always have to be listing to country music around here?

He sighed and walked into the break room. The music was coming from the electronics lab next door. He tried to ignore the music and reached for the coffee pot, but softly the music wafted in.

How do I get through one night without you

If I had to live without you

What kind of life would that be

Oh and I, I need you in my arms

Need you to hold

You're my world, my heart, my soul

If you ever leave

Baby you would take away everything good in my life

"Dani-el?"

He felt slender arms slip around his waist and he turned to pull Sha're into his arms. He breathed deeply of the spicy scent of her hair. "How did I ever end up with such a beautiful wife?" he murmured into her ear.

"My Dani-el, you saved my world," she laid her head on his chest.

"You are my world."

Without you there'd be no sun in my sky

There would be no love in my life

There'd be no world left for me

And I, baby I don't know what I would do

I'd be lost if I lost you

If you ever leave

Baby, you would take away everything real in my life

And tell me now

"Sha're!" Daniel looked wildly around out the carnage inside the pyramid. The bodies of the boys lay strewn round the main chamber.

He ran back to their sleeping compartment. Empty. He tore back into the main chamber again and knelt beside Nevon, one of the boys. Blood streaked his face and pain etched deep lines in his young face.

"It's alright," Daniel soothed. "Tell me what happened."

Nevon struggled for breath and said, "It was Ra."

He shook his head, "Ra's dead. Tao qua, Ra."

The boy shook his head. "No, no, Ra. I saw! His eyes," he stared at Daniel with wide eyes. "He took Sha're. He took Skaara into the Chaapa-ai!"

Cold horror seized Daniel heart. "Where?" He struggled to keep the panic out of his voice. "Did you see?" he asked in desperation, but Nevon was gone. Daniel eased his limp for back to the floor.

Kawalsky walked behind him. "What's going on, Daniel? Could there be another Ra?"

Daniel got to his feet seething, "How should I know?" He looked at the carnage around him growing sick. "I should have left the barricade up. This is all my fault."

"Colonel, Ferretti needs medical attention," Carter called.

Daniel had knelt down beside one of the other boys. "Go," he told O'Neill. "Help him. I can send you back."

O'Neill looked at him. "You're coming with us this time, Daniel. I've got orders."

Daniel whirled on him. "I don't care about your orders, Colonel. My wife is out there. So is Skaara."

O'Neill's eyes drilled into him, pinning him in place. "And the only way you're going to get them back is to come home with us. Ferretti might've seen the coordinates for where they went." He glanced over at Carter.

She held up the digital camera. "I've got all I need."

Daniel bit his lip and stared at them. Then he closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He called to the other in the chamber drawing them around him. "After we go through the Chaapa-ai, you have to bury it like we did before," he said slowly. "Then leave this place."

Jali looked up at him, his dark eyes round. "You come back?" he asked.

Daniel swallowed and shook his head. "No. No, I can't, nobody can. That's what I'm telling you, not for a long time." He looked away for a moment and took an other breath. "Soon as we're goon, I want you to close it. Bury it, put a big, heavy cover stone over it. Nothing good can ever come through the gate. Do you understand?"

Jali met his eyes and tear glistened there. "You came through it, Dani-el," he said queitly.

Tears burned the back of Daniel's throat and he struggle to go on. "Remember the story I told you? How the ancient Egyptians back on Earth cut themselves off from Ra? That is exactly what you have to do." Tears started to slip down his face. "Then in one year. One year from this day, you take the cover stone away. I will try to bring Sha're home on that day. But if I don't make it back," his voice caught but he pushed on. "If I don't return, you must bury the gate again. Forever." He looked back down at Jali, "Joa qua?"

Jali nodded solemnly the struggled not to cry.

Daniel pulled the boy into his arms, oblivious to his own tears streaming down his face. He looked out at the others. "Tell Sha're's father, in one year." He looked into each face. "Promise me, all of you." Jali nodded, answering for all.

How do I live without you

I want to know

How do I breathe without you

If you ever go

How do I ever, ever survive

How do I, how do I

Oh how do I live

"Chulak," the priest said pointed to the city in the distance.

"Chulak," Daniel echoed.

O'Neill raised his eyebrows and followed. "I hear it's nice there this time of year."

The priests or whatever they were lead down to the city. The architecture looked very Roman, or maybe Greek. They were led into one of the larger structures to what looked like some banquet hall. People were seated on the floor around a table laden with food.

Carter shifted nervously and whispered to him. "Why are they looking at us like that?"

Daniel shrugged. "They think we're gods."

They walked over to the table and sat. Servants brought them food and drink.

O'Neill sighed. "Okay, we're gods, now what?"

"I have no idea."

Suddenly, trumpets sounded and the people around them dropped to their knees. Daniel shifted to his knees as well. Carter moved to copy him, but O'Neill frowned.

Daniel looked up at him, "When in Rome."

O'Neill groaned, but got to his knees.

Out of the corridor came a squad of the Serpent headed guard that had attacked the Earth Stargate. Behind them followed a man in golden robes, and a veiled woman.

"Behold your new queen," the man announced, raising the veil.

Daniel felt a sudden serge of hope when he saw her face. "Sha're," he whispered jumping to his feet. He ran forward. "Sha're. I thought we'd never," he started and froze when he saw her eyes flare white.

"Kneel before your queen!" The man ordered rasing his hand.

"Sha're, it's me!" Daniel took another step forward. "Sha're!"

Suddenly, something hit him in the chest sending flying into the wall and everything went black.

If you ever leave

Baby you would take away everything

Need you with me

Baby, 'cause you know that you're everything good in my life

And tell me now

"Jack, help me!" He tried to go to her again, but Carter and O'Neill held him back. He was so close, but so far.

Sha're stared down at him, but any trace of who she was, what made her Sha're was gone. Cold, alien eyes stared back at him.

He's heart ached. His world slowly was spiraling out of his reach. His Sha're, his beautiful Sha're, gone.

"What did he say?" O'Neill asked.

"They are choosing who will be the Children of the Gods," Skaara said bitterly.

One of the guards was shouting orders to them. Hands shoved him to his knees. He couldn't take his eyes off of Sha're. There had to be something he could do. Some way, he could reach her.

Richly clothed men and women began to look over the prisoners. Two came toward where they were kneeling. Thought raced through his head. One chance, if only.

He reached out and grabbed at the man's robes as he walked by. "What would I remember if you chose me?"

"Daniel, what are you doing?" O'Neill hissed.

Tears burned his eyes. "Something of the host must survive," he said roughly. Something had to. It just had too.

One of the guards staff whipped around and sent him back into Carter. The man in the robe smiled coldly. "This one is passionate." Then his eyes traveled over toward O'Neill and Skaara. "We chose that one." He pointed at Skaara.

NO! Daniel's mind screamed, but he couldn't move. He couldn't think.

He watched as Apophus helped Sha're back into the litter. No flicker of recognition, not sign of anything, and then she was gone.

How do I live without you

I want to know

How do I breathe without you

If you ever go

How do I ever, ever survive

How do I, how do I

Oh, how do I live

Daniel turned to look back at the stargate. It stood there, quiet, solid. He looked over at O'Neill. "She's out there somewhere, Jack," he said quietly.

O'Neill laid a hand on his shoulder. "I know she is. So is Skaara."

"What do we do?" he asked trying, and not succeeding, to keep the pain in his heart out of his voice.

O'Neill slapped him on the shoulder. "We find them," he said brooking no argument.

Daniel nodded.

How do I live without you

Without you baby

"Daniel?"

Daniel looked up. O'Neill was standing there looking at him. Daniel realized he was still standing there hold in the coffee pot in one hand and the cup in the other.

"You going to get a cup of coffee or just stand there thinking about it all night?"

Daniel put the pot down and shook his head.

"Daniel, you ok?" O'Neill asked, gently.

"No, but I'll live."

"Thinking about Sha're again?"

Daniel nodded. "Remind me never to listen to country music."

O'Neill laughed. "It will get ya' every time. Come on," he said jerking his head towards the door. "Let's get out of here. We can finish the paper work in the morning."

Daniel nodded and put the cup down and followed him.

"We'll find them, Jack, won't we?"

"Yeah, Daniel. We'll find them."

*fin*

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