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VR5
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AUTISM POEMS
by Frank George
From time to time, I write some of my autistic thoughts in poetic form. Here are several poems that I have written . . A Mindless Maze *************** Dream World
A Timeless Void **************** Dreams and Schemes
"Alive" Or uh, um ... ************ Fifty Years of Non-existence
Around and ... ****************** Fleeting Awareness
At the Mall ********************* Haze Daze Gaze
Autism ************************ Hither, Thither, and Yon
Autistic Dilemmas *************** Illogical Insanity
Autistic Time ******************* Inside Autism: Looking Out
Being Autistic ******************* Insight
Beyond Imagination ************* Moving Right Along
blank ************************** nowhere To Go
Concentration ****************** The Other Side of nowhere
Dimensions ********************* To Be, or ... ?
RETURN TO HOME PAGE
A MINDLESS MAZE
My world is like a mindless maze,
Cast amongst my endless daze.
I cannot seem to find my ways,
Amidst Autism's horrid haze.
I wander on, and to and fro,
While countless terrors surge below.
Among Life's sorrows, tears, and woe,
I search for just a place to go.
Moving mostly not too fast,
I slug on slowly, till at last:
My future now becomes my past.
I shake my head, and look aghast.
My life that "might have been" is gone.
Somehow here I lumber on.
Humanity's hordes engage in fun;
My life has hardly yet begun.
If people then could only see
The person who is really me,
Whose presence in reality,
Is far beyond the farthest sea ...
Perhaps they might could understand
That deep beneath this earthly sand,
There lives a kind and gentle man
Who yearns to give a helping hand.
*A TIMELESS VOID
I talk to people;
But not with them.
I see people meandering to and fro;
But I am not a part of them.
Children want to play with me:
I see them as animated dolls.
I want to reach out to them;
But I am enshrouded within timeless walls.
As I enter the building,
I see an uncharted expanse.
People, desks, doors, windows:
The scattered confusion makes no sense.
A woman shakes her fist at me.
I see an old man laughing.
I try to understand what's going on;
But everything is so baffling.
Present, past, and future
Are all rolled together
Into one all-encompassing moment:
Floating slowly, like a feather...
Who am I? Where am I? What's happening?
Is this for real, or not even in my mind?
The boundless void rolls on and on...
Eddies and whirlpools consume my mind.
*"ALIVE" OR uh, um ...
Hmmm ... oh boy. So, okay, that is ...
(How do I get out of this one?)
Well, it is like this, or isn't it?
Good Grief! I don't know. Or do I?
It's as though ..., every time I ...
Think that I'm starting to think or ...
Concentrate on something, ...
Then my mind drops out, or goes blank,
Or something. It's hard to explain.
If I could only hang on to my thought ...
For just a few more seconds....
It is like being conscious, semi-conscious,
And unconscious, all garbled together
At the same time, or moment, or whatever.
I'm straining! I'm forcing my mind, or
What's left of it, to concentrate
As hard as I possibly can ...
To just hold on for a little bit more,
For merely a few moments longer....
And then it happens: something snaps,
Something gives. I drift off into ...
Another universe, another time, another somewhere ...
Somewhere.... but where? and how ...?
Am I over the rainbow ..., or beyond it?
I board the bus. I'm shaking much worse than a leaf!
I quickly find a vacant seat, and sit down,
Before I have a chance to "lose it"....
I am as taut as an E string.
I hope no one speaks to me.
I am ready to explode, any second ...
I've got to gain control..., calm down ...
I hope no one turns around to look at me ...
I stare out the window and then....
"Hey buddy! Yeah, you! You need to get off the bus.
"This is the end of the line!"
Huh! What bus? I gradually "come to".
I must have fallen into a trance, or something ...
Hmmm ... where in the heck am I, anyway?
What am I doing on this bus thing?
"Come on, man! I haven't got all day!
"I have a schedule to keep!"
I slowly meander out of the bus,
Wondering, for the life of me,
Where I am, what's going on? ...
*AROUND and ...
Around and around and around
I walk, in a circle in my room.
My feet are plodding on the ground;
My thoughts have elsewhere gone to roam.
I walk lightly across an endless sea
Of semi-conscious unconsciousness.
The world is out there, and here is me.
But who am I? Where am I? What a mess!
To be or not to be?
The question makes no sense.
Am I one or am I we?
Do I exist, or even have a presence?
Am I corporeal, or is this just my imagination?
Maybe I am partly here, and the rest is elsewhere.
I very seldom pay much of any attention:
My mind is anywhere, yet neither here or there.
Do I move through the world,
Or does the world move past me?
My thoughts have long ago been hurled
Infinitely far beyond what I can see.
I can almost touch the ephemeral horizon.
The rainbow's end, I have almost found.
Still, no matter where I walk or run,
My non-existent sphere spins erratically unwound.
*AT THE MALL
I am never "in" the mall.
I am always "at" the mall.
Airports, state fairs, malls:
It is all the same.
People are dashing, hurrying, moving everywhere.
I am not with them.
I am on another planet, in a distant alternate dimension:
Far removed, and long gone from any other's existence.
When I rigidly keep my world separated from others,
The "others" see me as weird, an outcast,
A "strange dude" to avoid, and stay away from.
"That guy is bizarre! Leave him alone...."
Some people make fun of me, and call me foul names.
Other people get upset with me,
And shame me, for not acting "normal".
I try to ignore them, as much as possible.
My speech is halted.
My stance is strange.
I look around me in profound confusion.
Life is like an unending fairyland.
I move like a ghastly zombie,
Amidst a continual cacophony
Of sight, sound, and non-awareness.
I am somewhere. But where am I?
The visual and auditory "noise"
Is more than I can possibly stand.
I have got to get out of there!
I robotically maneuver my precarious presence
Out of the mall, into the parking lot.
The numerous cars dashing to and fro,
Further confound my scattered perceptions.
I can hardly wait: to get away from everyone.
*AUTISM
The light is on,
But no one is home.
My thoughts have gone
Elsewhere to roam.
To perceive, or not to perceive?
Oh, what a question!
To understand, or simply believe---
Thoughts I hear, but cannot mention.
My world is like an endless maze;
I swim my arms through timeless fog.
Horizons stretch beyond my gaze,
As I slosh on slowly through the bog.
I yearn to see the stunning light;
It's there, almost within my reach!
I stress and strain, with all my might:
In vain, to touch Tantalus' peach.
Think, ponder, grope, relate---
Horizon's waves submerse the shore,
With surging, senseless flow of Fate,
I've been through all of this, before.
Somewhere yonder, longer than never,
Beyond the rarefied realm of Autism's arena,
Hope's shining beacon shines on forever.
Beckoning boats toward its majestic marina.
*AUTISTIC DILEMMAS
Two or more streets intersect.
The "walk" sign goes on.
Two seconds later ... ,
My mind kicks in and says, "Walk".
I step toward the street.
An instant before I hit pavement,
The "Don't walk" sign goes on.
But my "mind set" is set.
My conscious awareness is no longer focused.
So I enter and cross the street anyway.
A wagging finger says,"no, no, no".
My "black and white" logic goes on.
Maybe I can run across the intersection.
Running is not walking, is it?
I speed up and start running.
I stare off into auter space.
I hear a "far off, somewhere" voice ...
"Hey, Buddy! Can you spare a dime?"
Absent-minded, I check my pocket.
I find only quarters. No dimes.
So I say, "Sorry, can't help you."
"But my poor family is starving!"
But I can't help the man,
Since I don't have a "dime".
I stare back into auter space.
My "black and white" logic did what?
I turned away a needy soul,
Because I didn't have a dime?
Where is Justice?
Where is my mind?
*AUTISTIC TIME
Time,
Sublime ...
Hear the chime
Make poems rhyme.
Some stop on a dime,
A lemon or a lime.
Pictures in space by a mime ...
I seem to have run out of time.
Autistic time is just not there,
Hither or yon or anywhere.
Measureless direction nowhere ...
No matter what, it is not fair.
No existence. I'm not aware
Of consciousness. I am not here
Timelessness. It is hard to bear,
Sitting on a chair, over there.
I live in a world frozen still.
There is not active time to fill.
I throw myself amid at will,
Without social life to fulfill.
Among the land of rock and rill,
I search the world afar until
I'm standing there atop a hill
Vaguely here, but yet nowhere still.
So what is time? I can not tell.
Where is present, past, future? Well ...
Out there beyond Horizon's veil,
Perhaps I'll find the golden bell
That peals forth time in yonder dell.
No matter how loud I did yell,
No tree within the forest fell.
Or did It? But I can not tell.
*BEING AUTISTIC
Why are some people autistic, while most other people are not? Is there a "rainbow" spectrum of autism: from extremely mild and hardly noticeable, to blatantly severe and extremely conspicuous? Is autism a neurological condition, or a manifestation of that condition, or both?
The mountains, the trees, the buildings, the people:
All of them are as ghosts. I could walk through them.
People are undefined shadows, wispy holograms, noisy nuances
Of ethereal semi-existence, without form or substance.
I move, with precarious uncertainty,
Through the nebulous realm of human non-existence.
I see, but I do not see.
I hear, but I do not hear.
I smell, but I do not smell.
I touch, but I do not feel.
I exist, but I do not exist.
You are there, but are you?
I am here, but am I?
Where am I? What am I? Who am I?
None of this makes any sense.
I go through the "required" motions,
To keep "others" from bothering me.
I live, but is this living?
I feel strange, as though I
Am both here, and yet not here,
All at the same time.
Time and space have no meaning:
They are bizarrely jumbled together;
They are there, but are they?
I see you, but you are not there.
I hear you, but can not understand.
I think, but do not make sense.
I read, but I do not perceive.
I vaguely understand, but do I?
What is going on, anyway?
You are here, and I am there;
Or is it the other way around?
Which is left and which is right?
Or are they one and both the same?
Up, down, forward, backward, and in between,
Is all the same. I am thoroughly confused.
Memories, experiences, thoughts, ideas, creations.
Food, sleep, exercise, studying, showers, rain, hail,
Sleet, snow, blizzards, bogs, sand traps, thorns, briars,
Electric fences, boats, planes, trains, buses, cars,
Math, science, literature, pain, joy, lucidity, confusion:
All jammed and rammed together in a turbo-charged blender.
Alice in Wonderland, The Twilight Zone,
Fantasy and science fiction, The X-Files,
Science Fiction Theater, Dr. Who,
Never Never Land, The land of Oz.
Black holes, alternate universes, weird dimensions.
This is the "essence" of autism.
*BEYOND IMAGINATION
Nature's pristine perilous portent can scarce compare
To Autism's lair of harrowing hollow horrors.
An existence of dimensions beyond imagination---
Monstrous mountains and terrors within terrors
Await all wearied travelers who sojourn there.
Beyond the hoary horizon's tenuous tentacles
Lies a land of unmitigated gallantry and gall,
Where Logic's bounded parameters cease to exist.
Therein dwell timeless confusion and spaceless wall,
Constantly clothed with spectacular spectacles.
This kaleidoscopic spectrum transforms everything
Into the unruly realm of intensely tormented nonsense.
Countless ghastly schemes surpass your wildest dreams,
As mindless illusions devoid of common sense,
Make Awareness a matted mess of tangled kite string.
Autism is a glorious golden opportunity
To boldly go where few have gone before.
An uncharted eerie universe weirdly awaits---
With rare genius and bizarre perception galore,
It stretches, swells, and sharpens your sanity.
*blank
People cheery everywhere.
It's a party atmosphere!
There's excitement in the air!
For me, it is only blank.
Isn't that a cute baby!
He loves that beautiful lady ...
Those kids love to play.
To me, it is all blank.
People socialize with ease;
Joking, talking, playful tease,
Like a soft and gentle breeze.
My sense of "others" is blank.
They are all "in" the world.
Man or woman, boy and girl ...
Nations gather, flags unfurled.
I see it all as simply blank.
*CONCENTRATION
Within my concentration camp,
I stoop and bend to light a lamp.
The ground is slimy, cold and damp.
Perched near beyond me, is a swamp.
Stretched far and wide, I fail to see
A single thing to focus me.
I wonder, "Am I he or we?";
I scarce can pay the shrink's large fee.
This poem's cute (at least it rhymes).
Trees grow wild with lemons and limes.
When peal the hazy, dazy chimes,
Just read this verse a few more times.
To help keep track of what I do,
I tie a string upon my shoe.
Then when my mind has gone askew,
I see my foot and think of you.
Deep somewhere there within my brain.
My memory lurks, clear and plain.
If I should chance to hear again
That loud sound, I may go insane.
Concentration is like a game.
Remember where and whence you came.
Although my thoughts are not the same,
I cannot yet recall your name.
*DIMENSIONS
A Pythagorean sum of squares
Stretched beyond fantasy forever;
Uncalculated non-integration,
Unlimited in scope or direction;
Further extended than farther,
Shrunken smaller beyond smallest.
Infinite vector spaces, matrices without end,
Topologies beyond imagination;
Super-strings, chaos, virtual unreality, quantum theory,
Geometries that defy Euclid's perspective;
Beyond time, space, and direction.
Within theoretical mathematics and unreal reality.
Non-spatial perpendicularities, imaginary roots,
Complex modalities, unbounded boundaries,
Unlimited compactnesses, illogical forms,
Patterns without patterns, kaleidoscopic spectrums,
Unreal relativity, black holes, timeless time,
Singularities, contracting parallel universes.
Dimensions beyond dimensions, that don't make sense.
Perspective without perception, indefinable speculation,
Dreams beyond imagination, imagination beyond anything,
Everything in turmoil, endless whirlpools of uncertainty,
Mindlessness, confusion, non-awareness, roboticity:
Such are the weird, bizarre and wacky dimensions of autism.
*DREAM WORLD
I am here, but not really ...
I live beyond the furthest star,
Beyond the farthest extent of the unknown universe,
Beyond reality, beyond imagination, beyond sense.
Beyond existence, I reside in the world of dreams.
Born in dreamland, I have been there ever since.
I exist only within my mind.
Elsewhere is but a dream.
I live within my mind.
I do not exist in the land of Elsewhere.
Cars, buildings, trees, mountains, animals,
People, places and things:
All these "physical" entities are far removed from me.
In my world, things are never quite what they seem to be.
In the noble tradition of Sir Walter Mitty,
I fight countless dragons,
Rescue untold numbers of fair damsels in distress,
Sail uncharted waters beyond the utmost horizons,
Boldly go where no one has gone before,
Stretching my mind far beyond the limits of impossibility.
My world is a stage of the unimaginable,
A glorious theater, a non-stop video presentation,
A brilliant concert, an Academy Award movie,
Cast amidst the props and special effects of unreality.
Circus, rodeo, theater-in-the-round, hippodrome,
Racetrack, ball game, road show, Broadway, dancing,
Choreography, stunt man, ballet, gymnastics, Ice Capades,
National parks, Disneyland, parades, marching bands, floats,
Far away places with strange-sounding names:
My world constantly encompasses all this, and much more.
I am in a non-stop psychedelic trip,
Higher than any kite that has ever yet been flown.
Sights, sounds, feelings, perceptions,
Are continually in a state of highly intense awareness.
My mind is far beyond the probes of psychiatry.
No shrink can ever fathom my brain.
They all waste their time doing so, in vain.
My autistic realm is far too vast to decipher.
It is even beyond "my" wildest dreams.
And yet, still, I keep on dreaming ...
*DREAMS AND SCHEMES
In dreams, I sometimes understand
How my life relates to people and things.
My dreams often fill in the gap:
Between autism and reality.
Dreams tend to connect the two universes together:
Which provides me with sufficient wisdom
To (hopefully) keep me away from the insane asylum,
For the moment anyway.
In my dreams, I am often wild,
Insane, and wildly disconnected.
Perhaps dreams allow me to release
Many of the autistic feelings and weird perceptions
That would drive me to the "nut" house in real life.
Like Donna, I have learned to "act" normal,
So that I stay out of the "loony bin",
For the moment anyway.
My dream world also teaches me to at least try
To relate, to understand, and perhaps
Remotely comprehend what I may be able
To learn from the "so-called" real world;
And maybe realize what the "outside world"
Might learn from little old autistic me
If that somehow were possible, at least
For the moment anyway.
My autistic dreams are quite possibly
The "glue" that holds my life together,
And keeps me from totally falling apart.
Past, present, future, imagination, reality,
Sanity and insanity, miraculously merge
Into the same mixture, and enable me
To perchance make some sense out of life,
For the moment anyway.
*FIFTY YEARS OF NON-EXISTENCE
Job's lamentations are mine.
I know his weariness. I perceive his indescribable pain.
To live, but not be alive.
To touch, but not feel.
To see, but not perceive.
To hear, but not understand.
To bear the unbearable sorrow.
To cry, lonely, in vain.
An existence that I can not possibly describe.
Born into a world without time or space.
Don't yell! Don't scold me! I'll do what you want!
At least "your" world makes some sense;
My world doesn't make any.
Just leave me alone.
I will figure it out somehow,
On my own.
I'm sorry I made you so mad.
I couldn't help it. I don't understand.
Your thoughts, ideas, and feelings
Are beyond my comprehension.
If I could perceive your mind,
If you could penetrate mine;
But that can not be,
At least during this lifetime.
Countless dreams dashed to pieces,
Strewn across my mortal path,
Cast aside like putrid refuse.
So I live a constant dreamland,
Where the flowers smell so sweet.
I see beauty beyond description.
I conquer the impossible.
I beat the unbeatable foe.
My helpless mortal frame
Is fraught with autistic disaster.
My physical existence is driving me insane.
So I concentrate on other things,
Beyond this earthly plane.
Let me serve others unselfishly,
With no thought of reward.
Let me ponder worthwhile, wholesome books.
Although time and circumstance,
For me, do not essentially exist,
I am happy!
I do not worry about that
Which I can not obtain.
I am thankful for what I have.
I thank the Lord for this beautiful planet,
And for my countless blessings.
*FLEETING AWARENESS
Consciousness ... What is that?
I am chasing a kitty cat.
Is this furry feline aware
That I am neither here nor there?
Do I notice the cute little creature?
Or is it part and parcel with the furniture?
Above the sky, I see below ...
Fleeting humanity, to and fro.
Can I ever be a part of them?
Or am I falling off Horizon's hem?
Do the trees perceive of me ...
As I stand idly by, silently.
Below the clouds, I see above ...
Who am I? What is love?
Do I exist? And if so,
Where in the world should I go?
Before me lies the land of dead,
The hill of fear, the vale of dread.
A black plague of rampaging locusts
Daunts my mind, obscures my focus.
If I could only see beyond
Autism's swampy, ghostly pond,
Perhaps I'd more than blankly stare.
Perhaps I'd really know what's there.
*HAZE DAZE GAZE
Hocus pocus! Out of focus.
Now you see it, now you ...
Well I can't tell really.
It's like everything is there,
And yet somehow not there.
Life keeps spinning to and fro
While I hobble relentlessly on,
Reality is out there somewhere,
Just beyond my reach.
I can almost touch it, and yet ...
There is this haze that blocks my gaze.
I am in a daze, like a one-way mirror.
People see me, but I don't see them;
Or is it the other way around.
You mean ..., you don't look through people?
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Why, I am, of course! Can't you see me?
Of course not. I am autistic.
You like to draw pictures?
Uh, well, sometimes. (Oh boy! What's next?)
My autism is like a dirty oil filter.
I am a distorted prism,
A multi-colored oily surface,
A shimmering desert mirage.
I am only semi-conscious.
*HITHER, THITHER, AND YON
Beyond the far flung distant past,
I stand in awe and gaze aghast
At bygone days until at last
The future hits me, coming fast
Timely winds have come and gone,
Amidst the pale of yester yon.
I see the future way beyond
The utmost bounds of pro or con.
I search the world, well and wide
To find the mind, that dwells inside.
Where has Conscious turned to hide
Amid the sifting shifting tide?
Whether high or down below,
Come what may, or what may go,
Primordial space and time do flow,
With countless life forms in a row.
Tomorrow's deeds have been before
My cloudy, dizzy days of yore.
Perhaps the far fetched filmy shore
Will beckon bells of memory more.
By and by the time I see
Horizon's vast eternity.
Past moments ere, yet still to me ...
If only I could somehow "BE".
*ILLOGICAL INSANITY
Creation is logical, as logical can be.
There's a reason for everything, so they say.
Caught between all heck and the deep blue sea,
Who knows what's going to happen to me?
The universe works according to a plan.
Everything's in order, to beat the band.
There's a winner for every race that's ran.
But here I am again in lala land.
I run like mad, just to keep up.
Forget about the medal or the silver cup.
While the normals are ready for their evening sup,
I'm still out there lost in the wilderness. Yup!
Am I imagining things?
Do birds soar high on airy wings?
I stare blankly at flowing springs.
Dead to reality, my mind rings.
*INSIDE AUTISM: Looking out
Hello! Is anybody out there?
I can vaguely see you.
Is anybody really out there?
Or am I just imagining this?
What's happening, anyway?
How come my mind keeps playing tricks on me?
Is this for real?
I don't actually believe it. Or do I?
I see a car traveling this way, around the bend.
Or do I? It is hard to tell, for sure.
What am I doing here, anyway?
Why does that guy keep honking at me?
Oh, sorry. I must have been in a trance.
Hmmm ... The hamsters must have stopped
Spinning my cognitive wheels again.
I'll jerk my head a couple times.
There! That should get them going again.
My nuts and bolts get loose sometimes.
You don't say. My word!
Is that so? What did you just say, anyway?
I guess I wasn't paying attention, or something.
Run that by once more. I don't get it.
Are you talking garbage, or what?
I still don't understand. Help!
*INSIGHT
Do you see it? Where?
By the wall, over there
Next to the bear
Near its lair.
What bear? Not tonight!
The stars are so bright.
They will shed some light
On what is in sight.
In sight? Better run,
Ere Fuzzy Wuzzy's son
Decides to have some fun
Chasing me. Now non-
Autistic people come.
Am I stupid or dumb?
I stepped on their gum.
Here. You want some?
Don't be silly!
Be more frilly,
Not so willy nilly.
My word! Really?
I don't get it,
Not a single bit.
It doesn't fit.
At least not yet.
What am I looking for
Beyond my "inner" door?
My cognizant conscious core
Is searching either, or.
Insight? Who is me?
The sleepy silent sea
Forever hides the key
Of all from A to Z.
*MOVING RIGHT ALONG
I'm riding on a turtle,
Moving right along.
I don't know where I am.
I don't know where I'm going.
But I'm moving right along.
Just singing a song,
I'm moving right along.
Humming, whistling, and smiling
While hopping, skipping, and jumping,
And moving right along.
Autism's got me in its grip,
While traveling on this Earthly trip.
The world keeps spinning round and round.
I scarce can locate any sound.
But I'm moving right along.
I hope I get there before the bus does,
Or I may be walking five miles backwards.
The pictures on the wall
Are hardly there at all.
But I'm moving right along.
Can't seem to get my thoughts in line.
Other than that, I'm feeling fine.
I don't understand what's happening,
Or what you're probably saying.
But I'm still moving right along.
*nowhere TO GO
I am here, there, and everywhere;
But yet I am nowhere....
I do not exist with other people.
I do not exist with myself.
I wander from one "acted-out" imitation to another.
I have nowhere to go.
No place is my home.
I am out-of-place everywhere.
I walk down the street.
I visit the zoo.
I attend the state fair.
I go to concerts, plays, and movies.
But no matter where I go or where I am,
I am alone, far away from all others.
I have to act as if I am okay and normal,
So they don't put me in the "loony bin".
I go through the proper motions, I play my part;
But in reality, I am unreally elsewhere.
Hardly anyone understands what my autistic life
Is actually like, and I am not sure that I do.
I am: therefore I exist. But what does that mean?
I am constantly lost in a world that is not really there.
I am floating within a timeless fog of non-existence.
I have nowhere to go, and nowhere to be.
*THE OTHER SIDE OF NOWHERE
On the other side of nowhere,
Lies an infinite expanse,
Of anything and everything
That doesn't make much sense.
I'm in here, and you're out there;
The picture keeps rewinding.
People laughing, crying, feeling...
I do not understand.
It's almost there within my reach;
But on the other hand,
I'm sliding, slithering, slowly slipping...
The tide has turned, and left the beach.
Pressing onward, pushing hard,
I cannot quit; I must move on.
My ragged feet have timeless trod
A land before, that lies beyond
Behind, sideways, and forward;
Strange and weird, bizarre and odd.
Shimmering meadows glazed in fog...
I see what others cannot hear.
My mindless mind is almost bare;
I stretch beyond Horizon's pier,
Precariously tottering on a log,
On the other side of nowhere...
*TO BE, or ... ?
Who am I? What is a who?
I am me, but who are you?
I think; therefore I, I, I ...
What is am? Thoughts fly by.
My mind is there, but like the sun,
I can not look at it, as one.
My thoughts are neither here nor there ...
They are simply everywhere.
I hesitatingly try to reach,
For Tantalus' societal peach.
I'm trapped amidst the land of "others" ...
Where are my sisters, or my brothers?
Within I am, I am within.
I scarcely know where to begin.
I search beyond, both wide and far ...
Horizon's edge, to catch a star.
If I could only see or hear,
Within my mind the world out there ...
Perhaps my life would then make sense,
Instead of hanging on a fence.
If I could simply only be
A person who is yet not me ...
To be me, and to be not
A mindless, rambling, dead robot.
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All contents Copyright © 1999, Frank N. George.
All rights reserved. (current edition: August 16, 1999)
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email: autismfg@aol.com
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