Loyce's Safe Place
My Story
As a survivor of domestic abuse I feel it is my responsibilty to provide any assistanceto those who are going though the pain and agony
I once had to endure.I wanted to do a few pages on domestic abuseso I could share a little informationto anyone who might need help coping with this nightmare.
I have been backed into corners and had ice picks dropped on my bare feet...and at times backed into corners and had lit cigarettes burned through my clothes.
I have been thrown out of moving cars...and once had the car door slammed shut on my arm as he backed out our driveway.
I have had black eyes, busted lips, a bruised jaw that to this day gives me trouble. Bruises from being kicked with steel toed shoes.
I am almost certain there is not an inch of my body...
that at one time or another was not abused in one way or the other.
Then there are the times he held pillows over my face or choked me..until I agreed to do something I didn't want to do.
This man was extremely jealous. He told me what to wear, where I could go and who I could be friends with.
If we went into a store and I even looked in the direction of a man or boy...
I would be punched, slapped or kicked and verbally abused when we got home.
When I became pregnant he punched my in the abdomen.
After the birth of our son things got worse. My child was a constant object of his threats. I was constatly being told if I left or tried to divorce him...he would take our son and I would never see him again. He did in fact take him from me a few times and each time I went back to this man for the safety of my son.
Each time I would leave he would take our son and threaten he would never let me see him again if I didn't return to him.Of course being a mother...I did what I had to do to be with my child and make sure he was taken care of.I felt because of his father's drug problems and his abusive behavior...that my child was not safe in his father's care.
I lived with with this abusive husband for 13 years.My reasons for staying in the marriage were fear and the feeling of responsibility.
I was physically and emotionally abused by the man who supposedly loved me.It was a nightmare and I will never forget the fear and torment I had to endure. Although I did try several times to leave this man.. It was years before I finally broke away from the situation.
I reached a time in my life however that I realized this is not that way life should be. I had taken all I could and God gave me the strength and courage to leave this man, stand up to him and finally regain my life, and attempt to improve the life of my child.
I started having him arrested when he would abuse me. I went to court and filed restraining orders against him. This was a very frightening thing for me to do, but I had to.
It all ended up in a kidnapping. This man who was in jail at the time for being abusive to me.. was released without my knowledge. He stopped me on my way to work, forced himself into the car, drove to a remote lacation where he made me write a note saying.. I was giving him our car and that he had permission to see our son at anytime.
I did write the note to keep from being battered, but he just kept on with the abusive behavior. He became angry with me and tried to choke me. I had been carrying mace in my purse for sometime... and I managed to reach into my purse and spray the mace in his face. Although it did loosen his grip around my throat it didn't stop him from his rage.
He saw a truck approaching and started the car.
Driving with his eyes burning from the mace we ended up in an orange grove near there.
Again he started to be abusive verbally and physically. I fought back with everything I had until I guess he wore down.
He fianlly drove back to a place near my work. In the mean time the law enforcemet had been informed by my work place that I had not shown up for work and knowing my situation they were concerend for my safety.
Not long after we were back in the vicinity of my work place.
Law enforcement officers surrounded the car and he was taken into custody.
That was the last time I saw him.
That was May 2, 1989.
He spent two years in prison.
It is now May 19th 2007.
I am remarried to a wonderful kind man who loves and cares for me.
I now know what it is like to be loved and treated that way I should be.
I thank God that I am still alive.
Not everyone is that lucky.
Some don't survive the abuse.
Don't let this happen to you.
Know the warning signs of an abusive person.
If you see the warning signs..
PLEASE GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP!
It very well could be a matter of life or death!
STOP DOMESTIC ABUSE!
DO NOT TOLERATE IT!
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