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Lord of the Rings Humor
Lord of the Rings Humor
This page is basicly created because of my love of lord of the rings and funny stuff.  So, get ready to laugh....or whatever.  
Top Ten ways you know you're obsessed with LOtR
10.You like to role-play scenes from the trilogy. Even in the supermarket..
9. Your ideal date has pointed ears and is six feet tall. And old..
8. You have spent all your savings on Middle-Earth merchandise.
7. You once looked up in the sky and thought you saw a Nazgul fly by.
6. You wonder what Gandalf would have done, when making all your decisions.
5. You think your short neighbour is a hobbit and therefor adore him.
4. Your dog is named Huan, your horse Shadowfax and your first baby Elanor.
3. Your doormat says, "pedo minno a mellon".
2. You can quote almost anything from the book and movies, by heart.
1. You are actually reading all this...

Jokes  
 *What do you call an elf that loves waffles?  lego-my eggo-las.
*Was heard at dental surgery:'Ach!!! SSS!!! Leave uss alone, gollum!!! It freezess, it bitesss!!! Don't hurt uss with that nassty cruel ssteel!!!'
*What do you say if you bump into a wizard?  saruman, i didn't see you there.
*Why didn't Tom Bombadil answer the phone?  Because he wasn't effected by the ring.
*What did Sauran Say before he died?  Gandalf, I am your father.
*Why did Gollum cross the road?  because the chicken ate the precciooooussss.
*What is Sauran's favorite musical?  orclahoma

What NOT to do when watching the Return of the King  
1. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."  
2. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
Go RED!
Fun Stuff
Lord of the Rings
Game Cheats
Other Stuff
5. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
6. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians.
7. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
8. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
11. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins.
12. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
13. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
14. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
16. Come to the premiere dressed as Yoda and wander around looking terribly confused.
17. Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light the straw on fire and tell people in the seats around you about a great battle that took place in your cup long ago.
18. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"  
19. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
20. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
21. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
22.When Eowyn kills that Nazgul, yell out "He was a female chauvenist and deserved it!"
23. When the oliphaunts are being slaughtered, get up and yell "No elephants were harmed in the making of this movie!"
34-a. At any time that Frodo, Sam and Gollum (or Smeagol) are onscreen, start crawling around the moviet theatre saying, "Where is it? Where is my precious?"  
 
 Lord of the Pants  
Ok, what i did here is take a line out of any of the Lord of the Rings movies and change one of the words in that sentence to "pants"  It turned out pretty funny  

Frodo: Underpants.  My name is Underpants.     Frodo: I will take it!  I will take the Pants to Mordor.   Galadriel: The Pants passed to Isildur, who had this one change to destroy pants forever.   Gandalf: If you're refering to the Incident with the Dragon, I was barely involved.  All i did was give your Uncle a little nudge out of the pants.  Frodo: Whatever you did, you have been officialy named a disturber of the pants. Aragorn: You draw far too much attention to your pants, mr. Underhill! Arwen: (to Aragorn): Why do you fear the past? You are Isildur's pants, not Isildur himself  Legolas: This is no mere ranger.  This is Aragorn, son of Ararthorn.  You owe him your pants.  Gimli: I will be dead before I see the ring in the pants of an ELF!   Legolas: You have my bow.  Gimli: And my PANTS!  
No matter how much he tried, the orchestra just couldn't keep up with Gandalf.
Don't worry Viggo.  You may not have gotton the part of Gimli, but you can still try out for Aragorn.
Frodo just couldn't get over how gross Gimli's socks were.

 

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