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Episode 3: Memento Mori

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(Air date November 9, 1999)

CHAPTER ONE: THE MORNING OF "JACK'S FUNERAL,"
JACK AND JENNIFER'S BEDROOM AT THE PENTHOUSE

Jennifer was sitting at the mirror finishing her make-up. This was going to be hard but today was the most important day in their plan to con Hawk. Today was Jack's funeral.

Jack was in the bathroom making lots of noise cleaning his teeth. He poked his head around the door and mumbled at her with his mouth full of toothpaste.

"You know I'm right Jennifer."

Jennifer had had enough and stormed out of the bedroom. "That is so ridiculous Jack!"

Jack followed her out to the living room, waving his toothbrush in the air. "Jennifer, I am not going to allow you to do this alone. You know that you'll get yourself in trouble and I'll have to rescue you."

Jennifer was furious. She slammed down the magazine she was pretending to read and sat down with her arms folded. Jack continued to rant.

"Jennifer, I have to do this. Case closed!"

Now she was ready for a fight. She stood up right in front of him before she spoke. "There is no way Jack. No way. We are following the plan to the last letter, no inclusions, no last minute changes. We both agreed that the plan was perfect and so far it's been going that way and I'm not about to let you mess things up."

"Moi? Mess things up? Jennifer when have I ever messed things up?"

Jennifer just shook her head and walked towards the kitchen, with Jack in tow. As he began to talk, she started to hum loudly and off key so that she couldn't hear what he was saying. She always did this when Jack had a good point and it infuriated him. He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him.

"Listen to me. I am scared for you. Scared."

Her face softened as she saw the look in his eyes. He cared about her too much sometimes; too much to let her do her own thing. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest and rested his chin on top of her head. She relaxed for a few seconds then realized that he was at it again. He always managed to win her over like this. She pulled away.

"No Jack, I'm not going to let you schmooze me like this. It's a stupid idea and it will blow our plan sky high. I am doing this alone. I got us into this by trusting Hawk and I have to be the one to get us out of it. I have to Jack. I have to get us out of this mess and get our money back. You lost the paper because of me and for once in your life Jack Deveraux, you have to stay out of it."

Her face was full of anguish and there was the tiny hint of tears in her eyes. Jack realized that she had taken the full responsibility for all this Hawk stuff. She completely blamed herself. This was more than just getting back at Hawk, this was something that she was doing for him too.

Jack reached out and wiped a tear from Jennifer's cheek. Jo had said that Jennifer was beating herself up with guilt. He couldn't imagine it. Now imagining it wasn't a problem because he was seeing it.

"I don't know what to say," he told her truthfully, then smiled at her reaction. "Don't look so shocked. It happens. Here I am thinking I have a quip for every situation and you come along blowing away all my delusions."

She gave a watery smile. "Don't you mean illusions?"

He paused and looked thoughtful. "No, I don't think I do. I haven't had illusions for a long time. I think the last of one died when Harper said he tried to kill Steve because of me." He pressed his finger to Jennifer's lips as she was about to speak. "No, you don't have to explain that wasn't my fault. Even I get that -- though I do have to take some of the blame for the incident at the belltower window."

"Jack--"

"Shh. I'm trying to make a point--" He gave a rueful smile. "--albeit rather badly. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not used to someone other than myself feeling guilt. Not over a mess I've gotten myself into."

She protested, "You didn't get into this alone."

"No, I didn't. And neither did you. You have to admit that I made some fairly catastrophic tactical errors where Baby Howie is concerned."

"But I'm the one who invited him into our lives." She gazed up at Jack and he thought he saw a trace of self disgust in her eyes. He hated that. "I'm the one who invited him into our home," she said softly.

"True. You did. You trusted someone you shouldn't have. But I've got news for you, Jennifer Horton Deveraux. You aren't infallible. You made a mistake. It happens."

She shook her head. "If it was just about trusting Hawk, I wouldn't feel so sick about this. You've told me a million times that I can be a bit--"

"Gullible?"

She almost smiled. "I was going to say naive."

"Oh." He assumed a deliberately guiless expression. "Of course."

"Jack, I'm not feeling guilty about a mistake. I'm feeling guilty about a betrayal."

That pulled him up short. "Betrayal? What betrayal?"

It was her turn to look surprised. "You don't know? Jack, I trusted Hawk. I trusted his word over yours."

"Oh."

"Oh?! Jack, I know you're used to people being suspicious of you, but even you should recognize what I did as betrayal. I trusted someone I hardly knew over the man I love."

"Considering I'm the man you love and I'm not known as particularly trustworthy, on scale of one to ten this betrayal doesn't rank very highly."

A familiar fire lit Jennifer's eyes. "Bull."

"Jennifer--"

"Don't 'Jennifer' me. Okay, there are areas where you can be a bit ethically creative--"

"--that's one way of putting it."

"But you've never betrayed me. Not in word or thought or anything else. You can be stubborn or misguided or just plain dumb, but you've always believed in me. Even when I've hurt you or made you angry, you've wanted the best for me. On the other hand, when I hurt the first thing I seem to do is find a way to make you hurt just as much, and as for believing in you. .. . Jack, we stood face to face with you looking me in the eye telling me the truth, and I believed Hawk. I don't care what you say, right now in my own eyes I'm looking pretty ugly."

"Well, self flagellation never is an attractive quality."

She shook her head. "You just don't get it."

"Oh, I 'get it.' Come on, you're talking to the king-- no make that the less than 'Holy' Roman Emperor-- of guilt. There is no known aberration or permutation of it that I am not intimately acquainted with, and let me tell you from experience, it accomplishes nothing." He brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "And just for the record, you are still quite beautiful in my eyes."

"That's a very nice thing to say, Jack, but--"

"No buts. " He looked heavenward. "I can't believe I'm about to give you a lecture on the 'L' word but here goes. " He looked her dead in the eye. "It's not about making the right choices or doing the right thing. If it was, we never would have gotten this far. It's about when you royally screw up and can't face yourself in the mirror but can look into someone else's eyes and know they see you, even the parts you don't like, and they still care. They still...."

"Love you?"

"Exactly. Even at your worst. I think, that's when it becomes real. That's something that can survive."

An emotion flickered in her gaze. "Contra mundum. . .?"

"Yeah. Sort of." He cocked his head to one side. "So will you stop feeling guilty now?"

"No." She smiled. "But I'll feel better while I'm feeling guilty."

He glanced at his watch. "Since we're running late, that will have to do. Grab your coat."

"I still haven't agreed to this crazy plan of yours. I think--"

"I know what you think." He headed in the direction of the front door. "But I think we're late. We can't be late for my funeral now can we?" He turned off the lights and stood in the doorway. "Are you coming, Mrs. Deveraux?"

"I'm coming." Jennifer followed him through the door "But I'm not through arguing about this!"

Jack smiled. "I know."

Jennifer paced. Anxious butterflies in her stomach made her feel sick as a little voice in her head insisted that this mad scheme had huge potential for failure.

"He's here." Jo warned and Jennifer knew that her mother-in-law had to be talking about Hawk.

Hawk walked down the steps to the pier dressed in a dark suit but still sporting the tacky turquoise bolo tie. Jennifer restrained herself from rolling her eyes as he made his way past Jo, Julie, Uncle Mickey and Aunt Maggie, her grandparents and other friends who were willing to play along with this scam.

"How're doing" Hawk asked in a pseudo-sympathetic voice as he reached her side.

"Better now that you're here." Now she really felt sick.

He patted her hand patronizingly and surveyed his surroundings. "A pier is sort of a weird place for a funeral isn't it?"

She shrugged. "Jack was never particularly religious. He said that churches made him nervous so I thought I should choose some place special to him."

"And the pier is special?"

"No." She wiped away a false tear. "I tried to think of some place that was special. . . but I couldn't think of anything. I would have thought the newspaper, but look at the way he walked away from it. Look at the mess it's in. I guess the paper was only special to me. And. . .well. . . I couldn't think of a place special to the two of us together. I guess that says a lot about us. I don't think I really knew him at all." Then she gave a bitter laugh. "Maybe I should have had the funeral at the bank. I know that was important to Jack."

"The bastard," Hawk softly commiserated.

"We shouldn't speak ill of the dead."

"He wasn't worthy of you."

"He was my husband. . . but he's gone now," she added significantly and wondered if anyone would notice if she turned around to vomit over the side of the pier. "Besides, he hated the water. He couldn't swim."

"So you're dumping his ashes in the Salem River?!"

"It's a symbolic gesture. After this, I'm through with Jack Deveraux."

Jo separated from the rest of the guests and took Jennifer's arm. "I don't know if we can wait any longer."

"Oh, Jo," Jennifer interrupted, "have I introduced you to my friend Howard Hawkins? Hawk, this is Jack's mother Jo."

Hawk looked confused. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Deveraux."

"I'm not Mrs. Deveraux," Jo said in shock. "I'm Jack's biological mother. Camille Deveraux has been dead for decades."

"Oh yeah, that's right," Hawk corrected, "I thought I had read--"

Jennifer arched a brow at Hawk's slip up. "Read?"

"Uh. . . in the newspapers. . .or something," he quickly covered. "So you're Jack's biological mother. I knew Jack was adopted but I didn't know he was close to his biological family."

And we were robbed by this bozo, Jennifer thought in angry disgust. Jack had complained that she could be sloppy with background research but if these mistakes were typical of Hawk's research on his victims, it was more humiliating than ever that she and Jack had fallen for it. "Jack reunited with his birth family several years ago--his his mother, his sister, his brother--"

Hawk frowned. "I read something about a brother. What was his name?"

"St--" Jennifer began without thinking.

"Billy," Jo supplied.

Jennifer did a doubletake. Billy? She hadn't been thinking when she had almost said Steve, but Jo saying Billy of all names? Jack wasn't going to like this. She knew there was a reason she had thought this scam was insane.

"Didn't. . .uh. . . Billy die not to long ago?" Hawk asked.

Jo paled and Jennifer felt terrible. Jo had been through so much. She had lost one son and had nearly lost the other. Now here she stood at hers and Jack's request pretending that she had. It was above and beyond the call of duty.

"Could I speak with you in private, Hawk?" As Jennifer pulled Hawk, away she mouthed silently over her shoulder to Jo, "I'll take care of it."

Jennifer paused a few feet away. "There was an accident several months ago. Jack's brother was seriously injured. I don't want to upset Jack's mother more than I need to by bringing it up now. Not with what's happened to Jack." Well, at least that much is true, Jen thought.

"So what happened?"

"Happened?" she asked.

"The accident."

"Oh! Uh. . . he was going to a fire. There had been this problem between a local environmental vigilante and a petroleum company here in town. The company set a bomb and. . ." her voice trailed into silence.

"He was killed?"

"No. He was in the ICU and--" she stopped. Hawk looked distracted by something beyond her shoulder. Jennifer's sick feeling returned. She thought she knew what had distracted Hawk. Here we go, she thought.

"Jack!" Hawk exclaimed.

Jennifer said a silent prayer and hoped they could pull this off.

The funeral is about to begin when a surprise guest arrived. She grabbed Hawk's arm as he would have started forward to confront Jack. "No," she whispered urgently. "That isn't Jack."

Hawk frowned. "Of course that's Jack. Who else would it be? He's the spittin' image of Jack! He--"

"His brother!" Jennifer interrupted. "That is Jack's twin brother."

"Jackie Boy has a twin?" That seems odd."

Jo interrupted, "What's so strange about it? His father was a twin." Jennifer smiled at Jo for saving her.

Accepting this possibility, Hawk continued, "The environmental vigilante?"

Jennifer almost shook her head. She had not said that Jack's brother was a vigilante. Hawk just seemed to hear what he wanted to hear.... and only half of that! Now she was stuck playing along. "He doesn't like the term 'vigilante.' He.... uh...." she groped for an idea. "He teaches at Berkley."

Hawk turned and looked at her with what she hoped was curiosity. "Teaches, huh."

"Yes. He... uh.... teaches environmental--" She stopped abruptly. She had already deviated pretty seriously from Jack's plan. First, Jo had changed his name -- but Jennifer didn't think that was a half bad idea. Jack had wanted something like Lance or Deke. Jennifer couldn't picture Jack -- even an alter ego Jack -- pulling off a name like Deke. In fact, looking at Jack climbing down the stairs dressed in jeans, a brown fisherman's sweater with a cream colored t-shirt Jennifer would have to say that not only did he not look like a Deke, he didn't look like Jack Deveraux either! In fact, she was becoming quite distracted.

"Jennifer...." Hawk prompted.

"Hmm?"

"You were saying?"

She jumped. "Oh! Right! He teaches environmental psychology at Berkley."

"Environmental Psychology? What the heck is that?"

"I honestly don't know." But I hope Jack does, she thought. Jack was going to be hit with some substantial improvisation if he was to adapt to all these changes in game plan. "Billy!" she called out.

Jack stopped. It was eerie how he always did that. It didn't matter that Billy Johnson was the name he had been born with, for all intents and purposes Jack Deveraux was the only name Jack had ever known; yet more than once she had seen Jack stop dead in his tracks seemingly pulled by some unseen, undeniable force when someone called out the name Billy. He turned and looked at Jennifer questioningly.

"Billy," she repeated as she rushed forward taking both his hands in hers. "I'm so glad you made it. Your mother was worried. You were so late."

"I was a little tied up," Jack said tentatively.

"Strap yourself to a tree?" Hawk asked.

Jack frowned in confusion. And Jennifer faced Hawk. "That's a bit cliched isn't it? Billy here is quite serious about his causes. He joined Greenpeace one summer and he.... um... Weren't you involved with Don Henley's thing with Walden Pond?"

From the look Jack shot her, she knew he didn't have a clue where her words were coming from and yet was already adapting to play along. "Ah well, you know my affection for the works of Thoreau."

"Greenpeace, huh." Hawk noted. "You really aren't like Jack are you, Billy-boy."

Something flashed in Jack's eyes. Anger. Resentment. Perhaps even pain as Hawk's unwitting words reminded Jack of his real brother who had called him Billy-Jack. "And you would be?" Jack asked significantly.

"Oh, I'm a friend of Jennifer's here."

"Yes, Billy, Hawk has been quite supportive." Hers and Jack's gazes met and locked for a long moment. She held her breath then finally Jack patted her hand in what was clearly meant to appear to be a soothing manner.

"I'm glad you've had someone standing beside you. I know that it's been difficult. What was Jack thinking?" He offered his hand to Hawk. "Thank you for your assistance."

Looking a bit non-plussed, Hawk shook "Billy's" hand and said, "Sure thing."

Jo joined them and tentatively touched Jack's shoulder. "I think it's time for the service to begin."

Jack took his mother's hand and held it in both of his. "I'm sorry that I've kept you waiting. I know this is quite difficult for you. I should have been here for you. I should have been here beside you." He looked to Jennifer. "For both of you. Jack would have wanted that."

Jennifer was feeling as if she had stepped into the Twilight Zone as she looked into the face of her husband looking and behaving very unlike her husband. "Um.... Yes. I'm sure Jack would have wanted that."

"Perhaps I should escort you and...." Jack paused. "You and Mom to your seats."

Jennifer glanced at Jo and saw a moment of pure bliss cross her mother-in-law's features. Jen looked back at Jack. "I need to say a few words. Maybe you should just escort Jo."

He pulled Jo's arm through the crook of his own and escorted her to her chairs. Just as Hawk was about to take Jennifer's arm, Julie mercifully intervened and requested that Hawk -- being a family friend -- sit next to her. In a daze Jennifer approached the podium wondering what on earth she would say to eulogize her nowhere near dead husband just as she overheard Julie comment how different Billy was when compared to Jack. Jennifer almost smiled. She did have great friends and family. Give Julie ten minutes and she would have Hawk eating out of her hand.

She stood at the podium -- a cheap plastic and cardboard construction borrowed on short notice and swore to hide the amusement she was feeling in order to project the right combination of grief and anger for her "late" husband.

Jennifer scanned the pier, in the front row sat Hawk, with his phony, sickening look of concern; next was her empty seat, and then her cousin Julie. Behind them sat Jack, err Billy, err Jack; she mentally corrected herself, he had his arm around Jo, who sat next to him, trying to play the grieving mother, but obviously thrilled by Jack's show of affection; and to Jo's right was Vern. Behind them were her grandparents, and Marcus. And in the last row, Mickey and Maggie. Jennifer's eyes naturally gravitated to Jack, but realized how important it was to keep up appearances; she shifted her gaze to Hawk, who smiled at her. The man made her feel nauseous, she checked herself, hoping that the depth of her disgust for him was not mirrored on her face. To gain the courage, she looked at her grandmother, normally Jack was the source of her strength and courage, but this was not the time. Instinctively Alice detected Jennifer's dilemma, and flashed her a reassuring glance. Jennifer took a look at the eulogy Jack had written for her. She mentally shook her head, she could not read that.

She took a deep breath -- she knew Jack was not going to like it. "I think it would be best if I keep this short."

Jack, had had a slight grin on his face, he was pleased with the eulogy he had written for Jennifer, Jo, and Vern. It took a second for him to realize that Jennifer was not reading what he had written. Jack was about to protest when Jo turned and gave him one of those looks. Realizing the importance of the situation, he said nothing; but later he was going to make sure Jennifer realized how upset he was. To keep up appearances, he took Jo's hand with his free hand, and gave it a tender squeeze.

Jennifer, catching all this, stopped for an instant, then began again, "Hmm, Jack was the love of my life...." She stopped to wipe a non-existent tear from her eye. "...and I thought that I was his. But that doesn't seem to be so. However, I will always remember those happy times at the paper.....working together." Jennifer let out a sniffle.

Jack groaned, thinking to himself, "What is this melodramatic soaperish tripe."

"The paper was so important to us, to me. And Jack lost it....." She hesitated, and let out a slight sobbing gasp, ".... please forgive me....I loved Jack.... and now he is gone; the past few months he was not the same man I fell in love with, and who I thought loved me. I will remember that Jack of the paper, those early years together. I will not dwell on him leaving me, taking all our money and losing the paper, nor his affair. This memorial is to honor Jack; and though I can't find the power to honor what he became, I will try and believe in that Jack of those early years." Jennifer paused for a few seconds. "Is there anyone else who would like to talk?" Jennifer walked away from the podium and back to her seat, avoiding Jack; she knew he did not like her deviating from his script.

No one stepped up to speak. Jack, gave a hard squeeze to Jo's hand and she let out a slight shout. Everyone turned to look at her. "I will," she nervously said as she glanced over towards Jack. Jack surreptitiously handed her a piece of paper. His wife may not have read what he had written, but he knew Jo would.

Jo nervously walked to the podium, her heart pounding. The memory of Steve's funeral, just over a year before flashed through her mind; her eyes moistened, as she thought back to that dreadful day. She placed the paper Jack had given her down, but a gust of wind blew it away into the river. She looked over to Jack, who had a blank look upon his face; she knew her son, he was not at all happy. Thinking fast, she began to speak, "No matter what, Jack will always be...." She looked at Jack, and was a breath away from referring to him as "Billy." "....Jack will always be my baby. I will always love him; despite what he has done." Jo, quickly walked back to her seat, next to Jack, Billy -- she was so confused she did not know who he was; or for that matter, who she was. She looked at Jack, her expression asking for his forgiveness. Jack remembering he was suppose to be Billy, flashed her a sympathetic and loving look; he put his one arm around her and gently patted her hand.

He looked towards Vern, eyeing him, trying to get him to get up and speak next. But Vern pretended not to notice. Since no one else stepped up to speak, Jack was determined to do so. Dammit, if no one bothered to read his carefully prepared eulogies, he would recite his own. Jack got an amused and perverse sense of pleasure, how many people can say they recited their own eulogy at their own funeral

At that moment Jennifer got up "Since no one has--"

Jack rushed up to the podium, "I would like to speak on behalf of my dearly departed brother."

The Hortons, Jo, Marcus, and Vern all tried to suppress a groan. Jennifer looked over towards Jack, and saw that look in his eyes; she knew she could not argue against that look, Jack was determined and as he was known to say "He was like a dog with a bone." She said nothing; and mentally prayed that Jack's ego would not screw everything up.

"I apologize I am not as eloquent as Jack, but I will try. I grew up in an orphanage, always dreaming that I had a family somewhere, and they would come and rescue me and take me home. I eventually was adopted, but my adopted parents were not like the fantasy parents and family that my mind had created. Strangely, from my earliest memories I seemed to not be a whole person, as if part of me had been cut down the middle, and I was just a half of a whole -- I did not feel complete. As I grew older I would feel strange phantom pains, emotions, and mental flashes; someone else's, pain, thoughts, and senses. Deep inside of me I knew that there was another half of me out there somewhere. Years passed -- I will not bore you by reciting the events of my insignificant life."

Mickey whispered into Maggie's ear, "Thank god." Maggie put her hand over her face to hide her reaction, and to muffle her laugh.

"Then the day came that I discovered I had a family: mother; and a twin brother -- like the Corsican Brothers, like the gods Castor and Pollux. I was overjoyed. My mother was all that I had dreamt about, so different than the woman who was my adopted mother. Maybe not as sophisticated, not educated, but with a loving nature that I had never before experienced, and a profoundly humble wisdom which each day I began to depend upon more and more." Billy, Jack, paused and looked over towards Jo, and gave her a slight smile. Tears flowed down her cheek, she knew that despite it all Jack loved her, and hearing these words thrilled her more than she could express.

He continued , "It was my brother, that I felt the closest to. I had found that missing part of me. I know was complete. Despite his corporate, conservative manner, even though his idea of the greening of America was not protecting everyone's mother, the Earth, but cold hard cash; I loved him deeply. With this I begin my eulogy, to quote the bard 'Friends, Family, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Jack, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones; So let it be with Jack Deveraux, my brother and my dearest friend.' And to echo Ben Johnson's words in honor of Francis Bacon, 'I have and do reverence him for the greatness that was only proper to himself, in that he seemed to me ever, by his works, one of the greatest men, and most worthy of admiration that has been in many Ages.' I know these two quotes may seem to contradict themselves, but they both fit my dear brother, himself a contradiction, misguided and misunderstood, a noble heart waiting to be revealed. A thread of life cut far too short by that villainous cutter of the threads of life, Atrophos. Had she not so wickedly and heartlessly used her shears on his life, I know that eventually he would have come around; he would have seen the true light, would have become enlightened, and devoted himself to nature and his fellow creatures; a good son, and a loving and devoted husband. Would that I could be like Pollux to his Castor, that I could share in his death too; would that, like Castor, he were illuminating the dreary, dark, depressing night with his celestial light."

Jack pretending to he was Billy, was still doing his eulogy for Jack. Jack continued to drone on. He had been speaking for over fifteen minutes. Tom, confused by the whole situation, looked over to Alice. Alice herself did not know what to make of the change of events; and Jack's rather verbose eulogy for himself. Mickey tapped at his watch, showing it to Maggie. Marcus' head bobbed as he nearly fell asleep for the untold time. Julie rolled her eyes at Jennifer. Meanwhile, Jennifer had been finding the whole situation amusing, that was her Jack, frustrating, obnoxious, egotistical, but somehow, she never could tell why or how, it was that part of his character that just made her love him all the more. The situation and strain of the day was also getting to her, and her giddy nervousness was not helping the situation. She tried to bite her lip, as she covered her mouth with her hand. She repeatedly took deep breaths, because she was afraid that at any moment she would let out a burst of laughter and would not be able to stop. Jack said something, and that was the final straw. She let out laugh, but immediately checked herself, and made it seem to be more of a sob. She buried her face in her hands, trying, hopefully, to appear as if she were sobbing uncontrollably -- instead of laughing uncontrollably.

Hawk, seeing his chance, slipped his arm around Jennifer. Jennifer surprised by this, shuddered and wriggled away from him, before she had time to think that she had to continue the rouse -- that she had to make him believe that she was interested in him.

Hawk, not wanting to alienate Jennifer, put on his fake charm, "Jennifer, I am so sorry; I didn' mean to.... today of all days.... I meant nothing; I jess wanna let you know that I'm a friend, and I'm here fer you."

Jennifer replied, "No, sorry; don't apologize. It's my fault. All Billy's talk about Jack, he is so naive and idealistic," Jennifer inwardly laughed at these two words used to describe the man talking -- Jack. I was like him at one time, you don't know all the times I tried; all the times I believed Jack would change and become the man that I thought he was." Jennifer, made a not too convince sniffle; but Hawk did not notice, he had fallen for her act. "Billy always liked to think the best about people, especially Jack; he is so wrong, and I hate to break his heart. But forget Billy, don't apologize, you were being really sweet. I am so glad you are here giving me support, being my friend -- but I shouldn't be so surprised, ever since you came into my life that was what you have been. When Jack was never around, obsessed with money. When he left me and I was all alone. You were always there."

Hawk patted her back, "There, there... I will always be around." He handed her his handkerchief, and wiped her eyes.

Jack had stopped dead in his speech when he saw this, "And...." Julie took that as the perfect moment to put this dog to sleep. She rushed up to the podium, "Thank you Billy for that ponderously monotonous ... I mean, profoundly moving oration. It is getting late, I have scheduled a private luncheon at Wings, it will be ready in about thirty minutes, so we really.....," looking over at Jack, "....need to continue on with the rest of the memorial; I think it really" again she glanced over to Jack, giving him a look that implied it was time he ended his already too long speech. "....time to spread Jack's ashes." She then looked over to Jennifer, subtly signaling to her to help out.

"But... I still--"

Julie flashed him another look; and Jack, resigned to the inability of his cousin-in-law to appreciate true rhetorical genius, gave in. "I will just say one last thing about my brother Jack," looking over to Jennifer, he continued, "....one that lov'd not wisely but too well..."

Everyone got up. Jack made sure to make his way over to Jennifer. However, Hawk had already taken her arm in his. Jo walked up to Jack. After pausing a moment, he took her arm in his. Following loyally behind her was Vern. Jack was beginning to wonder about what was going on between them; and was not too happy with the idea of his employee being so friendly with Jo.

"Momma, JennyRose I'm so sorry I was late." Remembering something Jennifer and BabyHowie had said about Greenpeace, an idea came to Jack. "Yesterday evening, Woody, that's Woody Harrelsen, some friends, and I climbed upon the Bay Bridge -- that's between San Francisco and Oakland -- and we were protesting the plight of the....." Jack stopped to think of what to say; it was only for an instant, "....protesting the plight of the banana slug. Anyway, we were successful, but the cops came, and I barely made it way. By the time I arrived at the SF airport, I had missed the last flight to Salem, and had to take a red-eye flight early this morning." Jack then looked over towards Hawk, and eyed him up and down, "Hawk? Is that right," Hawk nodded. "....a truly noble bird, by the way; anyway, I hear you're a rodeo star?" Hawk flashed a smug smile. "Hmm, tisk, tisk, too bad someone with such a noble name as yours would participate in such a cruel and barbaric sport."

Hawk did not know what to say. Jennifer could tell that he was not too please. She proceeded to defuse the situation, "Jo, it's time to spread Jack's ashes."

"Since he was my twin brother, I would like to share in the ceremony. Did I ever tell about the time I traveled to the India, to the Ganges, to help spread Jerry's -- of course that's Jerry Garcia's -- ashes."

Jennifer flashed Jack a look. He realized he had been getting a little too carried away. He was rather enjoying playing the role, but he did not want make his new persona into a buffoon. He stopped, and became serious. Jack put his arms around Jennifer and Jo; they walked the few paces over to the edge of the pier. The rest of the family, Vern, and Marcus watched on, not knowing what to expect next.

Jennifer was holding the urn with "Jack's" ashes -- which in fact were the ashes from Jack's pale blue polyester leisure suit and shirt, BabyHowie and Howard the Bum's personal effects; and to make up the difference the ashes from Alice and Tom's fireplace.

Jack then removed his arms from Jo and Jennifer, and placed his hand on top of Jennifer's, gently caressing her fingers with his thumb. For an instant they looked deeply into each other's eyes with a profound love, Jack gave her a slight wink of encouragement. They shared another imperceptible look between each other -- Jennifer remembered how Jo had pointed out that she and Jack always did that. Jack sweetly kissed Jo's cheek. He nodded to them, a signal that it was time.

Jo held the one arm of the urn, Jennifer the other, as Billy removed the lid; and then together they tossed the ashes into the river. At that instant a gust of wind came up and some of "Jack's" ashes blew onto BabyHowie. Jack enjoyed the irony of the situation; he felt that the gods were on their side, and things would be improving for them -- maybe.

Everyone turned away, all trying to suppress the need to laugh hysterically. Jennifer apologized, "I'm so sorry Hawk, the wind; oh my gosh, here let me wipe Jack off you.... errr, clean you up" as she tried to dust off the ash for Hawk's face and clothing.

Jack looked on with a wickedly smug expression.

Julie signaled to everyone that it was time to go to Wings. Jack tried to out maneuver Hawk and take Jennifer's arm. However, Jo was quicker, pretending to stumble from the strain of the day, she took his arm for support. Jack affectionately smiled back at Jo -- his mother; and escorted her to her car. Hawk took Jennifer's arm, saying nothing, and they followed Billy and Jo.

This proved much more difficult than anyone had thought. Here was Jack sitting at the table with all his own family and friends pretending to be his own twin brother Billy. Meanwhile the other guests were supposed to be sad and somber because he'd just been shot and his ashes scattered in the Salem River, and all over Hawk's shirt. Jack, however, was having a ball. He continued to spend the evening making smart cracks aimed directly at Hawk while Jennifer glared at him. She deliberately sat opposite him so that she could keep her eye on him but even her stares could not curb his appetite for witty words and obtuse metaphors.

"And as I was saying, Falcon....no Hawk, I always get those birds of prey mixed up. You know, once a predator, always a predator. And what do you do Hawk? No, let me guess, you....you, it's coming to me....you're a con....con....consultant, that's it." Jennifer's heart was in her mouth as Billy continued. "Yes, you're a consultant in personal finance and business strategy. Am I right?"

Hawk wasn't too sure how to take this Billy. He wasn't as vulnerable as Jack, not as easy a target. But then again you never know. Billy might be worth thinking about as his next target. It would save a lot of groundwork. Nah, it would be stupid to continue this thing longer than necessary. However he had proved old Howard wrong already. Jennifer was a softer target than Jack and here he was about to get it all.

"Am I right?" Billy repeated. "You didn't answer me."

"Sorry, I'm sorry." Hawk's mind leapt to the present. "I was just thinking about my dear friend and your brother, Jack. I really liked Jackie Boy, I really liked him. Integrity, that's what Jack had, integrity. Well until the last few months when he got greedy."

Jack lifted his chin and sighed. His Billy persona was dropping the longer he spent listening to Hawk. Jennifer, sensing trouble, intervened. "Hawk would you like more coffee? Or something more to eat perhaps?"

"Oh Jenny girl you shouldn't be waitin' after me. I know how hard this all is for you. Why don't I take you home? I think you're lookin' mighty peaked to me."

"No really Hawk, I'm fine. In fact I'm better than fine. I'm beginning to realize that my life is now my own and that I can make my own decisions without Jack. It won't be easy but I think I'll get through it okay with my family beside me, particularly Billy here. He's such a support to me, you know."

This quieted Jack down, until Hawk put his arm around Jennifer, in a definite move to claim her, at least for tonight. "Jenny, can I see you alone for a minute?" said Billy hurriedly. He could not stand it when Hawk touched her.

"Ja....just a minute Billy," she said, almost slipping up by calling him Jack.

"It's important. It's about the paper. I think we should talk now," Billy insisted.

Hawk's ears pricked up at the mention of the paper. That was his next target and he did not need to have this green brother from out West messing things up. Jennifer got up and followed Billy to the side of the room. Just as Hawk was about to follow, Julie grabbed his arm and asked for his help with drinks. He was stuck.

In the corner, Jack pulled Jennifer around so that he could keep his eye on Hawk. "What are you doing letting that guy put his arm on you all the time?"

"Jack don't be silly. I have to pretend to at least like the guy. I hate it too but that's the way he is. You'll just have to live with it.... Billy." She gave him an impudent grin.

"Don't you go flirting with me, Mrs. Deveraux! After all your husband has just kicked the bucket and I think it's entirely inappropriate to be making eyes at his brother." He grinned back at her and she looked at his mouth in that way she had. He leaned a little forward and for an instant they almost kissed. Luckily they both realized where they were and stepped back from each other. "This is really hard Jack."

"If you keep looking at me like that it won't be the only hard thing."

"I'm think we better sit down, don't you?" replied Jennifer. She knew it was foolish to continue being alone in front of Hawk.

As Jennifer was about to sit down again, Hawk grabbed her chair to pull it out for her just as Billy grabbed the other side to do the same thing. They stood there, each holding a side of the chair and each pulling it with all their strength and trying not to show it. They looked each other in the eye and the whole table was aware of the silent battle going on. Jennifer stood poised ready to sit but chair was too far out.

"Thank you so much for helping with my chair, but I'm sure I can do this much alone." She tugged at the seat of the chair in an attempt to break their hold on it. Neither let go; they just kept holding on tightly and staring at each other. Any minute this was going to escalate into an all out brawl.

"Billy, Hawk! Please, I would like to sit down." It was as if her chair had become a symbol for her and neither wanted to be first to let go.

Julie decided to break it up. "Gentlemen, please, the lady would like her chair back and I would like my furniture to remain intact. After all this is a small celebration of Jack's life and even he wasn't into chair throwing."

They both let go at once and the chair tipped backward making a loud crashing noise. Jennifer had had enough of this. "I'm sorry everyone but I think I need to go home. I'm very tired. This day has been the hardest of my life and I need time to think things through and get some rest. Thank you for coming and thank you for being here with me even though I know you didn't all approve of Jack as my husband."

Jack raised his eyebrows at that remark but inside he knew that it was true. They were coming round but he would never be the ideal choice for a Horton girl. But no man would ever love her as much as he did. No man.

Hawk immediately offered to take Jennifer home. "Jenny girl, I'd be glad to escort you home. I'll get your coat."

"No Hawk, there's no need. I want to go alone," Jennifer responded.

However, Jack was not going to let Hawk go anywhere near that apartment. "Jenny, as Jack's brother I think it's my duty to take you home. It's the least I can do for Jack."

"No Billy, I'm fine. I can get there alone. Thank you for coming all this way to honor Jack. I know he'd be very pleased if he was here to see it. You two never spent enough time together."

"I insist!" Jack was determined.

"Thank you but I really can manage."

Billy hooked his arm in hers. "It's okay, I have it under control."

Jo saw that Jack was going to blow everything if he kept this up so she quickly walked up to him and took his other arm. "Billy, I really need for you to take me home. IŠ.I'm so upset. Please Billy, I need you with me."

Jack glared at her but she lifted her chin in defiance. He knew that she always won with that look. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Jo walked off with Jack leaving Jennifer alone to deal with Hawk.

Jennifer was not going to allow Hawk back in the Penthouse but she saw this as the perfect opportunity to get the plan moving along so she agreed to allow Hawk to take her for a walk on the pier before going home.

"This probably isn't the place you should be right now, Jennifer. I mean with Jack's ashes fresh on the water and all."

"I needed to come back Hawk. I needed to take one last look at the end of Jack's life before I move on with mine. I can still see the flowers floating down river. By the way, did you get all that ash off your shirt? No, there's still a stain. You might have the remnants of Jack on you forever Hawk."

"Heh, I doubt that Jenny girl. I doubt that. I think that it's time we all moved on past Jack."

Jennifer knew that this was her chance to close in. "I don't know how I'm going to do that Hawk. The Spectatoris in such a mess. You have no idea the problems that Jack left. There is a huge debt to the bank and I used up all my trust fund keeping the paper going while he was away. I don't know how I'm going to pay the wages next week. Vern isn't coping at all and has no idea where to turn. What do you I should do Hawk? I can't go to my grandparents for more money after the trust fund is all gone. I'm so stressed about it all."

"Well you know I said I'd stand by you. Exactly how much money does the paper owe?"

"Oh I'm not sure Hawk. I'd have to add it all up. The sad thing is that the paper is successful and if only I had an investor who could keep it afloat for a little while, I know that the paper could work out of the debt that Jack left and make a healthy profit. It's a great opportunity for somebody with some money. I think I'll get Uncle Mickey to see if he knows of anybody willing to invest in the paper. Lawrence Alamain was always interested. I don't really want him as a business partner but I can't let The Spectator go under. Of course, there's also Victor Kiriakis. I don't think you know him. He was a friend of Jack's father and they often did business together. Hmmm, and of course there's that fax we got from News Corporation a while back. They want to talk to Vern and I as well. Of course then The Spectator would lose it's independence and be part of a big conglomerate but it would still be published and that is the most important thing. I can't let The Spectator fold."

Hawk leapt right in to her trap. "Well Jenny girl, you know that I have the money from old Gran's estate. I'd be more than willing to invest in the paper."

Jennifer showed just enough reluctance to keep him very interested. "Oh Hawk, I couldn't. I mean it wouldn't be right. That money came from your family. IŠ.I couldn't ask you to put it all in The Spectator. I mean I.... it would be the perfect solution. No, I couldn't, I really couldn't."

"I want you to have it Jennifer. I think that's what Howard would want too. He always loved you and what you did for him. I think it's the right thing to do with the money."

Jennifer's heart raced. Here he was offering to give her the money that he scammed from Jack. They were going to get their own money back and Hawk was happy to give it. "Well let me think about it for a few days. I'm not sure. I know it would solve all my problems and I would make sure it was all legal and everything. I wouldn't want to scam you out of your money Hawk."

"Well you get back to me. But remember that money is yours for the asking."

Jennifer cringed at his words. You bet that money is ours Hawk. You bet.

"Well thank you for walking with me Hawk but now I'd like to alone. I'll call you in a day or two. Goodbye." She walked off alone along the pier.

As soon as he had gone, she called a taxi and went back to the apartment.

Jennifer needed to get out of these funeral clothes and take a bath. She got out of the elevator and quietly put the key in the door. Oh it was good to be home. She closed the door and suddenly the lamp came on.

"It's about time." Jack, still dressed as Billy, was sitting on the sofa.

"What are you doing here Billy Johnson? Here my husband is still fresh on Hawk's shirt and you are sitting on his couch. I think it's entirely inappropriate."

"Oh do you? Well I think what's good for one brother is good for the other. All in the Family and all that. Let's just call it kissin' twins instead of kissin' cousins."

"No, I'm tired. I think as Billy you should sleep in the guest bedroom. Goodnight Billy."

As she walked past he stood up and grabbed her arm spinning her back against his chest. "I think Jack's twin deserves a kiss goodnight, don't you?"

"I don't know. I never was into greenies you know. Too.... too.... by the way, what was that reference to Woody Harrelson? Really Jack, that was really pushing the green theme. Next thing you'll be into hemp."

"Hump?"

Jennifer hit him on the arm.

"Ouch, what was that for?"

"Come on Jack, let's get you out of these Billy clothes. It's going to your head."

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*The photo used for Billy was taken from Matthew's
time playing Dr. Tom Hardy on General Hospital

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