(April 4, 2000)

 

Inside Jennifer was confused by Jack's odd behavior. She had not been able to detect his displeasure over the news. Just then she heard a knock on the door. She rushed over to open it.

"Hi. I just saw Jack out there." Jo told a disappointed Jennifer, who had hoped it was Jack returning. Jo had not been able to figure out what was bothering Jack, so after he had rushed away she decided to talk with Jennifer.

Jennifer assumed that Jack had told Jo the great news, "Did he tell you the news?"

Jo thought that Jennifer meant the news about them moving across the hall from her, "Yes he did and I am so happy even if Jack isn't."

Jennifer's face fell in disappointment, "He isn't?"

"Well let's face it. I mean he's not exactly accustomed to living in these circumstances, not when he grew up." Replied Jo.

Jennifer became relieved upon realizing Jo meant the apartment and not the baby, "Oh, you mean the apartment?"

Jo was curious by Jennifer's remarks, " Of course, what else?"

Jennifer then held out her arms, hinting at her soon to be expanding waistline, "Well I--"

"Jennifer, have you.... well put on a few.... pounds since the last time I saw you?"

"Well maybe, but I'll be putting on a lot more."

Jo was still unable to follow Jennifer's hints, "A lot more?"

"Huh, huh." Jennifer nodded.

Finally it slowly began to sink in what Jennifer was trying to say. "You.... oh, you and Jack--"

Thrilled Jennifer interrupted Jo, "Yes!"

"You're going.... you're going to have...." Jo was both in shocked and thrilled beyond words.

"Yes. We're going to make you a grandmother again."

Jo reached out to Jennifer and gave her a big hug. "Oh I'm so excited. Oh Jennifer, when did this happen?"

"Today. I just broke the news to Jack."

"Oh.... oooooh," Jo now realized why Jack had acted so strangely. She knew that Jack's odd reactions were because he was not thrilled with the news.

"Oh what?" Jennifer detected some reluctance in Jo's tone.

"Oh.... nothing really. No." Seeing how thrilled Jennifer was, she did not want to let Jennifer know about Jack.

Still too preoccupied by her own happiness, Jennifer accepted Jo's comment, "Good. I'm so glad you're here. I tell you what, why don't you wait until Jack gets back. He just ran out to get something to celebrate with."

Speaking more to herself than to Jennifer, "I'll bet."

Jennifer showed Jo around their new apartment, "So I mean I realize it's small but it does have an extra bedroom and it's perfect for the nursery." Throughout the short tour Jo remained speechless, trying to hide her knowledge of Jack's disappointment. Jennifer continued, "You know and with you down the hall and with my grandmother's restaurant downstairs, the baby's going to have family around it all the time and I think that's much better than a huge penthouse, don't you?"

"Well I do," Jo lied.

"Jack will too. I mean the most important thing is that he is happy about the baby," said a cheerful Jennifer.

"Yes," Jo said, which made her feel even worse, and more guilty about lying, not wanting to let Jennifer know the truth. The more she tried to hide the more forced her smile became.

"I mean you should have seen his face when I told him. He was so excited he was speechless."

"Oh I'm sure he was floored."

"And he had a smile on his face the whole time."

"Oh really," even more false than before.

Gradually it began to dawn on Jennifer, "The same way you do right now."

"Oh.... oh well." Jennifer getting closer to the truth flustered Jo.

Jennifer stopped to think, " Come to think of it." She paused, "It looked as forced as yours does right now."

"Oh I'm not.... this is not forced. No I could not be happier than I am for the two of you," the more she tried to hide it the more fake she became.

Becoming worried, "Why are you acting this way Jo?"

"What way?"

"Something's wrong, Jo. Tell me."

"Oh Jennifer, now what could be wrong?"

Jennifer's expression changed, "It's Jack. He's really not as happy about this baby as I am, is he? Well what did he say to you?"

Jo did not want to admit that Jack had not told her, "Well.... not very much, actually."

"Yeah, just like he didn't to me." Jennifer is now very worried.

Jo tried to reassure Jennifer, "Jennifer I.... I think that he's probably a little shell shocked, you know. And.... and I think once he gets the idea in his head he's going to be as happy about this as you and I are."

"I guess I just thought that because we're back together now that.... ah, we wouldn't even have to think about it. That he'd want it as much as I do. But maybe I was wrong."

Jo continued to try and relieve Jennifer's fears, though Jo herself was not too sure about it, "Oh maybe not, maybe not."

Jennifer sadly repeated what Jo said, wistfully hoping that she was not wrong and Jack was as happy as her about their baby.

 

Meanwhile, Jack had been wandering around trying to get his head straighten out about the baby; he ended up in front of a baby shop. Jack leaned at the window, running his hands up and down the glass in contemplation. Suddenly Harper appeared shaking a baby rattle in Jack's face. Harper was wearing a vintage baseball uniform from the early part of the 20th Century -- as always Harper's appearance was only a manifestation of Jack's subconscious.

A startled Jack gasps, "Ooooh."

"Congratulations Jackie."

"I should have known."

"Oh come on, you didn't really think I wouldn't show up, did you? Duke'd be here too but he's still out in left field."

Jack does not have the slightest idea what Harper meant by this, "He was born in left field."

"What team?" A confused Jack asked.

"The Socks." He and Duke have been playing on the White Socks, the team that threw the World Series after being bribed. He continued, "You know Duke and this friend of his Doc, the name of Bombay, they're total baseball fiends and they feel if that if Ty Cobb can still play then why not them? But I already made the team but if they make it they're going to buy a cornfield in Iowa."

 

"A cornfield in Iowa? Isn't that right out of--"

Harper interrupted Jack's question, "Yeah, Field of Dreams. Dead people love the movies, especially Costner's."

 

After all that had happened, Jack was unable to deal with Harper just then, "Okay, I can't deal with this right now. Go somewhere, take a powder or something."

"Oh come on there you go again with the baby talk."

 

"Baby talk!" Jack thought that Harper had been behind that weird music, "Wait a minute, was that you with the music earlier?"

"Oh no, no, no, son. I can't take credit for that. That came out of your own twisted brain. But you know if you're going to do movie references you got to update them a little. It isn't as if there hasn't been a horror movie since Psycho. Take that new movie, The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. It's chock full of good advice for new dads and so am I."

 

"Look, I.... I don't need it thank you very much. Just.... go back to hell or Florida or Duke or wherever you came from. But I just don't need it, thank you."

"Sorry, no can do. Grandpa Deveraux is here to tell you everything you need to know about raising kids.

"But I--"

Before Jack could finish, Harper put two wrapped cigars into Jack's mouth and gave a sinister laugh, "And don't be afraid to discipline them. Of course that's really Duke's area, not mine. Although he might have gone a little overboard at times."

Jack began to cough from the cigars, "At.... times?" He asked.

"Well come on, don't be so sensitive. You know Steve took most of the burden of it. Oh, gosh I pampered you. I gave you everything you ever wanted."

"Yes, perhaps too much."

"Oh come on, what are you talking about? Just because I gave you a classic Bentley on your 16th birthday. What about that airplane, the jet, when you graduated? And of course the condo in Aspen. Now if that isn't love, I don't know what is."

"Yes, you may just have a point there."

"Yeah just follow my lead Jack," said Harper seductively, "that's how I raised you and look how you turned out. Now you can raise your child to be just like you."

"No !.... Ah, no."

"Come on Jack, isn't that what every father wants? A child that's raised in his image?"

"No, I don't want to have any kid growing up like me."

"Come on Jack, it can't be helped. Sins of the father!"

"Not with me. It's going to be different with me."

Harper responded by giving a sarcastic laugh at Jack's idealism.

Jack insisted that it would be different with him. "It is! It's going to be different."

"Sure, sure, that's we all say, in the beginning. We all say we want what's better for our child. We all swear that we won't make the same mistakes that our parents made with us. But that's.... it doesn't work that way. What's is it called.... repetition compulsion. The vicious cycle, old patterns that keep coming back. And Jack, let's face it, you've got two patterns to buck."

"Well, I tell you something, the buck stops here. Or the buck starts here. So you can just buck off Grandpa." Disgusted Jack stormed off.

"Grandpa," "Grandpa," what a beautiful word. Harper continued to laugh villainously as his image faded away, "HAHAHAHAHAH."

 

Jennifer was still at the apartment, waiting patiently and optimistically for Jack's return. She began to talk out loud to the baby, reassuring the baby, but most of all herself that Jack really would come to terms with fatherhood, "Don't you worry. Your daddy just has to get used to the idea. Then he'll be happy about you too. You'll see."

At that moment the door opened, and Jack staggered inside carrying two large shopping bags filled with baby toys.

Thrilled to see him, "Jack where have you been?"

Jack's mood had completely changed, "Where does it look like I've been? I've been out shopping for the baby."

"I thought you weren't excited about the baby."

"Well I must admit at first I was a little--"

"Stunned?" Jennifer was unsure what that meant, was he happy or disappointed by the news.

Jack proved that he was just as happy as Jennifer, "Ah, yes, that's one.... word for it. But I.... I guess I needed to get out, get some fresh air. So I took a walk and I didn't know where I was going and then I found myself in front of this baby store. All these things and next thing I knew I was buying out the whole store. Buying everything I could, just getting things for the kid. Getting things for our kid." He then handed her a white stuffed bear."

Jennifer is overjoyed by Jack's happiness, "Then you are happy?

"Of course I'm happy. You and I, we've done it. We've.... we've created a life. We're having a baby.

Jack had just said all that she dared hoped he would say, overjoyed "Yeah," she told him.

"How could I not be happy about that?"

"Oh Jack," she gave Jack a big hug. The image faded, the whole thing had just been Jennifer's fantasy. Sadly, alone in the apartment she wistfully said, "Please let it be that way. Please."

 

It was much later that same night. Jennifer was lying alone in bed waiting for Jack to come home. Finally she heard him enter their bedroom. Jack turned on the lamp, sat on the edge of the bed, and removed his shoes.

Finally Jennifer spoke, "Where have you been?"

"Ah.... I was out walking. And.... thinking."

Jennifer could tell that by Jack's behavior that he was not happy about the baby; though she hoped otherwise. "You're not happy about the baby, are you Jack?"

Jack did not know how to respond, he was having a difficult time dealing with his upcoming fatherhood, now that they were broke, but he desperately hated hurting Jennifer and wanted to be happy, "I'm.... I'm not.... ah, I'm not sure how I feel." He paused, "I'm saying this has all been rather sudden. We've just started seeing things eye to eye again, we've lost our money, our home, our livelihood. I must say this child has very poor timing, don't you think?"

 

Hurt, Jennifer remained silent. Jack moved next to her. It was killing him causing her such sadness. "I know how you wanted me to feel.... when you told me, you wanted me to jump for joy, you wanted me to forget about everything and just run off and start painting the nursery or buy large stuffed animals or.... or start playing cute scenes where we start making up names for our baby and there's a part of me that would like to do that.... there is." Jack paused, and then continued,"But there is another part.... that is.... frightened.... imagining the kind of father that I could be." Jack paused, "Panicky, self obsessed, difficult to deal with.... you can stop me anytime." Jack paused, then continued, "Jennifer I would give the world to be happy about this. He paused again, "I just don't know if I can be. Jack then moved away from the bed. This made her even more upset and hurt."

 

A short time later, Jack and Jennifer were in bed, lying separated on each's side of the bed; both staring into the darkness.

Jack, feeling terrible about the situation, was the first to speak, "You may despise me now if you'd like? It's alright to say it, it's not like I don't deserve it."

"I'm having your baby Jack."

Hopeful, yet reluctant to believe her, "That shouldn't change anything. There are plenty of women who despise the fathers of their children. It's the life's blood of divorce court.

"Well for what's it's worth, I think you'll make a terrific dad."

 

Jack was moved by her faith in him, "Look you don't have to say that, just to say it." However, part of him was afraid that she did not mean it. He paused, then continued, "Or are you saying it because you really mean it?" Still confused about his own feelings, he desperately desired to be happy; however, he wondered what kind of parent he would be. Remembering his own dads, Harper and Duke; he was especially worried that he would turn out like Duke, especially now that he and Jennifer were broke.