Episode 16:"Then the father
held out the golden scales,
and in them he placed two
fates of dread death."
(Homer)

Jack had just put the phone down and was smiling to himself as Jennifer walked in.

"What are you gloating about?"

"I never gloat. I was smiling because I just got a call from John."

"John who?"

Jack shook his head. "John Black as in Isabella's all too recent husband, used to be Roman Brady, married to Marlena Evans or at least enjoying the fruits thereof, renowned for being unable to solve any crime in this whole county, walking with a swagger and grunting at inappropriate times. Surely you remember."

Jennifer frowned. "Jack we all know John is not your favorite person but why did he make you smile. Are you getting all cynical on me again?"

"And that's another thing, I am rarely if ever cynical and if I do regress to that lesser form of humor, then it's for a good cause. Isabella had a boy."

Jennifer let out a scream and immediately wrapped her arms tightly around Jack's neck. He stood there supporting her and waited until she calmed down before he spoke. "I thought you'd be happy. Now that's over, you do remember that this afternoon is our Crossfire. I hope you have sufficient resources to counter my superb commentary on the Bartlett case."

"Why are we discussing that? I mean she admitted she did it. There are no sides to take. The guy was a creep. He beat up on her for years and did despicable things. In the end she flipped and killed him. I say, he deserved it."

Jack sank back in his chair and sighed. "Well little miss reporter. I think there is a lot more to it than that. Be ready for some juicy discussion this afternoon. Now I have to run down to Advertising. We have a new contributor on board and I want to see the final layout."

He gave her quick peck on the cheek and left. Jennifer shrugged and followed him out the door. She had a full day at the studio.

WATB that afternoon, Jack was comfortable in the make-up chair listening to the gossip going around the room. The guy doing his make-up was well into a discussion of wealthy families and their skeletons. "You see I think she's one cool chick. In fact one far too cool chick. She might have money and education and all that but if she killed her daddy even if he was beating up on her and other things, she should at least show some genuine pain about all this. Not just a few tears that don't ruin that professional make-up. She's had a tuck, you know, and at her age."

Jack nodded. He loved Make-up and Hair. There was no better place for getting the info. on what was going on in Salem. He'd even considered hiring one of these people as a gossip columnist. Anonymous. It would work. He must give it some more thought. He was so involved in his idea that he didn't notice Jennifer come in until she tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hi there, pretty boy. Want to come and see my etchings some time?" she said.

Jack was genuinely surprised to see her. "OH! I didn't see you. But I never go up to strange women's rooms. I'm not that kind of guy."

"Yeah right," Jennifer replied. "I bet you've seen a few 'etchings' in your time Jack Deveraux. Are you finished here?"

"Perfect," replied the make-up artist. "It's never hard to do Mr. Deveraux. He has fine bone structure and a great jawline. It's only his eyebrows that take time."

Jennifer reached over and touched Jack's earlobe. "I think his ears are his biggest fault. One day he'll have to get something done about those ears."

The make-up artist nodded along with Jennifer and that was enough for Jack. "Enough of my minor imperfections. Perfection is so boring. I need something for interest."

With that comment, the intercom called for Jack and Jennifer on Stage 9 immediately. Jack put his arm through Jennifer's. "We are being paged Mrs. Deveraux. Our time has come." They walked out arm in arm.

Two minutes later they were seated at the anchor desk for the Crossfire segment. The anchor was Troy Anderson, a blue-eyed dark-haired 30-something with a penchant for annoying the hell out of Jack. Jack was already sighing loudly and squirming in his seat as Jennifer glared across at him. Jack half grinned back with a momentary glance at Troy. After the count-in, Troy was cued first.

"This afternoon we are happy to welcome back Crossfire with our special commentators, Jack and Jennifer Deveraux. Welcome Jennifer, and Jack." The camera panned across to show them both smiling broadly. "Jennifer I believe you are first up. Your discussion for the day is?"

Jennifer began, "Family values and the way the media can destroy a person. Take for instance Christianna Bartlett, the only child of millionaire Frederick Bartlett. She spent her life doting on her father, maintaining a pretense of family and all the while he was mistreating her and inflicting on her pain beyond what most of us can conceive. Yet she tried to stick it out. Now she has to face the humiliation of public exposure of what happened to her. Every detail is being reported and the public is lapping it up instead of realizing that this woman has been through hell and took the only way she knew to get out of the situation. I think those branches of the media that are involved in publishing scandalous and detailed reports should be prosecuted so that Christianna can try to recover some of her life and well being."

Troy announced the lead in for Jack. "Mr. Deveraux. As the publisher of a reputable newspaper, I assume you agree with Jennifer about the way the media is handling this case."

Jack sat up and looked straight into the camera. "As the publisher of a reputable newspaper, I have to disagree with some points raised. Yes some of the stories are based on the more scandalous aspects of this case but as far as Ms Bartlett's life of hard times, well all I can say is that I think there is a lot more to this case than meets the eye. There is absolutely no evidence of mistreatment of Ms Bartlett by her father or anybody else. There is not one single medical report, not one single account by house staff and nothing in Ms Bartlett's demeanor to indicate the alleged mistreatment by her father. I'm afraid that I disagree with Mrs. Deveraux and say that this case should go to trial and that the media and the public should not be swayed by the smooth talk of attorneys like Cochoran Bailey. I think the biggest thing in this case is fifty-five millions dollars. When a person is the sole heir to that kind of money, it can cause a series of actions that the rest of us would find abhorrent. I think we all have to sit back and ask ourselves these questions. What proof is there that she was abused by her father? What evidence is there that she didn't decide to set this up so that she could gain early access to the fortune he'd worked so hard to build? I don't think we in this country can take anybody's word at face value. Who is there to defend Frederick Bartlett from these allegations?"

Jennifer was almost bouncing out of her seat. "Jack, how can you say that? It's so typical of people in this country, always assuming the woman caused the assault. She was wearing the wrong thing, she was in the wrong place, she said the wrong thing. A woman should not have to prove that she was mistreated or attacked. Her word should be good enough. I can't believe you can say those things about her wanting the money."

"And that is why this case should go to trial," retorted Jack. "There are too many bleeding hearts out there ready to take her word for anything. The poor guy is dead, murdered, and we have to believe that he was the father from hell. That he spent twenty years mistreating his daughter and that she had no recourse but to kill him. Jennifer, she was an adult, she could have just left. But no, she stuck around. Why? Have you ever asked yourself why she would stay if he was doing all these things to her? Surely you have to wonder."

"I don't have to wonder anything. She loved her father, she.... she probably hoped to help him. Women don't have a lot of options, you know. Where would she go? Maybe he threatened her if she left. Maybe he threatened other members of the family."

Jack shook his head. "Where would she go you ask. The women might not have been able to get her hands on the bulk of the estate but she could sure find a safe haven to live if all this is true. She was driving the latest Porsche, she was wearing haute couture. She had enough money personally to buy protection if that's what she thought she needed. Trust can be an odious virtue. It can lead us into a quagmire of lies and deceit. You and most of the public, trust everything she says. Why, I ask, why? Because she's female? Would you trust a man who made the same allegations? I don't think so. You would say he was lying. I think cases like this are dealt with on a very sexist basis. All people should be equal and if there is no evidence to indicate she was mistreated in any way then she should have to prove that she had just reason to kill her father. It's that simple."

Jennifer was absolutely astounded at Jack's comments. She was furious and was finding it hard not to make it personal. However since their previous encounter when they were almost fired, they had made a truce about their jobs and decided not to get childish and fight on screen. However, she couldn't wait to get home.

"Jennifer," said Troy, "have you any comment in reply to Jack's statement?"

"I think Jack's comments are typical of a lot of people who have never understood how difficult a family situation can be and how hard it is to leave one's nearest and dearest even if they are making your life miserable."

As the words came out, Jack's heart sank. She always forgot. She never quite got it when it came to his life. If anybody could understand difficult family situations, it was him. He sighed inwardly knowing that there were some things that nobody else, even Jennifer, would ever truly comprehend. His thoughts were interrupted by Troy.

"Ah Jack? I said, do you have any reply?"

"Um, at this point I think the case is in the hands of the gods.... and the press. I just have one thing to add. A family is a complex and confused array of emotions, actions and resulting consequences. Until we have walked in another's shoes, we cannot hope to come to fully understand what makes them interact and react the way they do. In fact sometimes we can never understand. Christianna Bartlett is the only one who can ever explain to us what really went on and why she did what she did. Until she is forced into revealing the truth, we are left with innuendo."

"Thank you, Jack and Jennifer Deveraux. Once again you have given us a firey exchange of ideas. We look forward to your next encounter. Good afternoon viewers."

The director called cut and Jennifer stood up and ran around to confront Jack. "How could you Jack? You just did that to make controversy. You can't believe that he's the victim in all this. You can't !"

Jack slowly stood up. "Jennifer I did tell you this morning that I thought there was more to this case."

"But not that! You know she's telling the truth Jack." said Jennifer.

"No, You think you know she's telling the truth, Jennifer. As I said, I think we need to have been there to know the full story here. Sometimes things are not what they seem on the outside and that goes triple for families. There are some things that I think I'm a little more expert on than you."

Jennifer realized that some of her comments had hurt him and she rubbed her fingers on his cheek. "I guess I gave you a hard time, didn't I? I didn't mean to make it personal."

Jack placed his hand over hers. She did love him, he knew that. And he loved her. However, that didn't mean that she would ever fully comprehend the first twenty-five years of his life. They would always be his alone to wallow in in the dark times and in the good times, to rejoice in their passing.

---

(August 21, 2000)

CHAPTER TWO: OUTSIDE JACK AND JENNIFER'S APARTMENT.

It wasn't right. It just wasn't right. They had finally settled some of their differences. They were happy, and along came a stupid newspaper story that divided them one more time.... okay, so maybe "divided" was a bit harsh. They weren't divided. They were happy, dammit. It was just that sometimes.... sometimes Jack just couldn't understand Jennifer. She believed so strongly in the good in people. He liked that — no, actually he loved that about her. It's just that sometimes people weren't good. Sometimes people did things for greedy, despicable reasons. He would have thought Jennifer would have learned that by now. Certainly she had enough exposure to it to have developed some skepticism, and yet somehow she still seemed to see a world full of sunlight and happy endings.... except for them. For the two of them, it was just one more case of agreeing to disagree.

Damn.

He opened the door.

"Jack! No!"

Plop.

He stood in the doorway drenched with yellow paint. It dripped off his head and ran in rivulets over his Armani suit.

"Oh, Jack, I'm so sorry!" Jennifer said anxiously as she came to his side and started mopping up the paint.

He blew paint out of his mouth and it splattered across Jennifer's face.

"Jack!"

Reaching up he started to wipe paint out of his eyes. "What's going on here?" he asked.

"How angry are you?"

"What going on here?" he repeated.

"Um.... uh.... uh.... I finally got tired of this dingy gray paint. I thought I'd paint the place."

"Paint?! Jennifer, do you know what kind of toxic fumes paint puts off—"

"Relax."

"Relax when my wife and progeny could be endangered by—"

"Relax, Jack, it's milk paint."

He frowned. "It didn't taste like milk."

She smothered a smile. "You weren't supposed to taste it."

"Jennifer Deveraux the last time I looked milk came in one color— white. Okay if you add some Nestle's Quick you might have it sort of chocolate brown and when I was a kid they had some strawberry concoction. But it does not— I repeat does not come in.... in.... "

"Daisy Chain Yellow."

"Daisy Chain Yellow!" he repeated.

"My darling echo," she said to him, smudging the paint on his face. "Milk paint is pigment in milk. It comes in many colors."

"It's still paint, and what do you mean calling me an echo?"

"Jack," she insisted. "I'm fine. The baby's fine. The only thing that isn't fine is your suit. Oh, Jack, your poor, poor suit."

"Don't think about the suit."

She blinked. "Oh my God, did you get a concussion when the paint tray fell on you?"

"No, I didn't get a concussion."

She pressed her hand to his sticky, yellow painted forehead. "A fever then."

"No, no fever."

"Well you can't be my husband because my husband would have a conniption about his suit being ruined."

He frowned. "Well now that I think about it, I am a bit perturbed about it."

"I'll make it up to you any way I can."

"Hmmm.... I wasn't thinking of your making it up to me though now that you mention it that doesn't sound half bad."

"What were you thinking about then?"

"Revenge!" he growled as he reached for her. Jennifer squealed and stepped out of his reach.

"No, Jack." She brandished her paintbrush like a weapon.

"Fat lot of good that paint brush will do. I'm already covered in paint." Faster than a snap of her fingers he grabbed the paintbrush out of her hand. "Let's see how a blonde looks in Daisy Chain Yellow."

She looked at the paint brush and then into his eyes. "You wouldn't."

"Oh wouldn't I?"

His eyes had a wicked sparkle. The man she loved was in those eyes.

"Yeah, you would," she realized.

"I most definitely would." And he promptly reached out and swiped the brush across the tip of her nose.

"Why you.... you..." she couldn't think of a name to call him and so simply grabbed the paint brush.

He backed away. "Now, Jennifer...."

Dipping forward she caught him square in the chest, then danced out of his reach before he could grab the brush.

"When I grab that paintbrush," he warned. "We'll see how you look with yellow hair."

"I've already got yellow hair."

"Not Daisy Chain Yellow."

"I'm not giving up the paint brush."

"Oh yes you are."

"Oooooohhh no I'm not. You wouldn't pull that sort of nauseating he-man crap on a pregnant woman. A defenseless, vulnerable pregnant woman who is almost a foot shorter than you."

"Not just any pregnant woman. Just my wife. Believe me. My wife isn't defenseless."

"You bet she isn't! She's wielding a paintbrush!"

"Jennifer?"

"What?"

"Got you!" He grabbed her and the yellow paint dripping off of him and smeared across her chest was now smeared across her. His voice deepened. "I've got you."

"That you do, Mr. Deveraux."

He looked down at both of them. "Are we through fighting now?"

Jennifer smiled. "For the moment, I think we are."

He swung her up in his arms. "Good, because I think we both need a bath."

"Oh, Mr. Deveraux, I never thought you'd offer."

Laughing softly she closed the bedroom door behind them.

---

(August 23, 2000)

CHAPTER THREE: ALICE'S RESTAURANT.

Jack and Jennifer entered Alice's in mid-argument. "Well, I shall concede your point, Mrs. Deveraux, considering the questionable mentality of the vast majority of the populace, she probably will be acquitted." Before Jennifer could comment Jack continued,"However, that does not negate the fact that she is guilty, guilty as sin, of cold-blooded, calculated, premeditated murder — murder in the first degree."

Jennifer made an exaggerated frown "That's soooo like you, my dear husband. Thinking everyone is motivated by greed—"

With just a hint of a smile Jack interrupted her, "Well, my dear paramour, that's because most people are—"

"Takes one to know one." Jennifer lovingly teased.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. And I am proud to admit it. Yes, I love money. And unlike my bleeding heart, naive, and idealistic spouse, I can sniff out the seedier members of society . And my keen instincts tell me Ms Bartlett is one such member."

They each glared at each other, enjoying their familiar banter. After a few seconds they were interrupted by Alice who had been watching amusedly. She hugged Jennifer, and then mischievously hugged Jack, causing him to blush; and then lead them to a booth. "Lunch is on me for Salem's two top reporters; and Jack before you protest I'm older and have more experience than you in being stubborn. Anyway Jack you are looking a little thin and tired; you two have been working too hard lately." Jack flashed Jennifer a wicked grin.

"Well, true my spouse and I are this one horse town's answer to Woodward and Bernstein; so if one of our adoring public and beloved family member wishes to pay the bill, who am I to argue." Jack looked over towards Jennifer, "See, I do not have a stubborn bone in my body." Jennifer smiled back, shaking her head.

After a waiter came over and took their order, Alice asked, "Any word when the jury will make its verdict?"

"No one knows, they've already been deliberating a week now. It's not like there's any doubt that Christianna is innocent and it was self-defense—"

"Mrs. Horton, your lovely, talented, and relatively intelligent, though misguided, grand-daughter is only partially correct. She is most correct about there being no doubt — the woman is guilty."

"Can you believe my husband?"

"Well, actually, I have to agree with Jack." Jennifer looked at her in shock; Jack flashed his wife a smug, self-satisfied smile. "

"Grandmother, but the facts?"

"Jennifer I'm sorry, but I don't believe the young lady. Abuse is a terrible thing, but I just don't believe she was ever abused by her father. She's a cold, calculating young lady."

"I can believe it of Jack, but—"

"I'm sorry, dear, but I think Jack is right."

Jack stared at Jennifer, smiling, Jennifer glared back at him. "Jack Harcourt Deveraux don't you dare gloat."

"I was very impressed with your interview dear, but I think the woman is well.... I just think she knows what to say. She's been too, I don't know, studied. Her actions before and after the murder are suspicious; the way she spent money, her calm, almost pleased expressions. It doesn't add up. Her father may have been a tyrant, but I don't believe he abused her. "

"Thank you Mrs. Horton for the vote of confidence. Your grand-daughter is a very talented reporter, thanks to my tutelage, and her compassion, sensitivity, and belief in man's inherent goodness are most admirable, but unfortunately most people in the world are not like her." Jack looked around making sure no one was watching, and then leaned over and kissed Jennifer on the cheek."

"That may be true. But this time I am right, Jack. You'll see." Just as two businessmen walked passed their table she leaned forward and passionately kissed him on the mouth.

A short time later, they were finishingup their lunch; Jennifer had eaten all her lunch and while Jack had only eaten about half his. "Are going to eat any more?" She asked.

"No. I'm full," Jennifer reached over and took his plate and greedily began to eat the rest of his meal. Jack starred her with his mouth wide open.

"What?" Jennifer asked, as she continued to eat, "I'm eating for two now. You know that."

At that moment Marcus walked passed by their table, he did a double take and walked back. "Jack, Jennifer how's it going?"

Jennifer just nodded and continued to eat. "Dr. Hunter, good day, we're fine; pardon my wife's lack of civility. And how are you this fine spring day?

"Not bad."

Jack looked at Marcus and tilted his head, "There's something different.... I can't place my finger on it.... Yes, you're not being accompanied by your shadow — fortunately for us."

Marcus chuckled, "Desirée's job hunting today. And Jack she's not that bad; once you get underneath all her act. I must admit that I actually enjoy her company.

"Like someone else I know," Jennifer chimed in.

"Jack, I need to talk to you about—" Before Marcus could finish Alice came up to the table. With his eyes Jack subtly motioned to Marcus and he quickly lead Marcus out of hearing distance of the table."

Jennifer and Alice laughed. "I see things are much better for you two"

"Actually they're wonderful, terrific, fabulous. Jack is more open. We're close again. Can you believe he isn't even complaining much about the apartment after we fixed it up. And you were right, he's actually very excited about the baby. Not that I didn't believe that he wouldn't be, but I needed your reassurance. I just love Jack so much. I thank God every day that He sent me Jack. I have a very positive feeling about our future. I know he'll be a terrific dad. It just wish he'd have more faith in himself than he does."

Meanwhile, "Okay Jack you promise you'll call my secretary. Promise now!"

"Yeah. Sure.... But remember this is just between you and me." He patted Marcus' shoulder and walked back towards Alice and Jennifer.

Before Jennifer could question Jack about what he and Marcus were talking about , one of the waiters walked over towards them, "Mr. Deveraux, there's a call from a Mr. Scofield, something about some activity at the courthouse?"

They said their good-byes and quickly rushed off to the courthouse. Fifteen minutes later they were seated inside the crowded and noisy courtroom. The prosecuting team entered, followed by the defense team and Christianna Bartlett. The court quietened as the judged entered. All eyes were glued to the jury box as bailiff escorted the jury into the room. The judge asked the forewoman had they reached a decision. She said they had. The judge asked how they ruled on the sole count of murder in the first degree. After a short pause the forewoman, spoke, "Guilty."

The courthouse was in pandemonium. Jack looked over towards Jennifer. Christianna's principal attorney Cochoran Bailey unsuccessfully tried to restrain her. Her reserved, sophisticated demeanor, which she had kept throughout the trial, vanished, "I demand a retrial and request new lawyers, my lawyers, if you can call them so, were incompetent—"

The judge furiously banged his gavel. I demand quiet in my court. Bailiff, restrain Ms. Bartlett. Now, is not the time for that request. You had the opportunity to do so at any time during the trial."

Her eyes burned with a deadly violence, "They're the ones that suggested I plead guilty. They concocted the abuse defense—"

"Ms. Bartlett that is a serious charge. Mr. Bailey what do you have to say for yourself?"

Trying to hold his contempt for his client, a contempt that had increased throughout his connection with her, he walked towards the bench. "Your honor, I, nor my team, ever "concocted" the abuse defense. We firmly believed as a result of our discussions with Ms. Bartlett that she had been a victim. And I believe the strain of the trial and this miscarriage of justice has caused my client emotional distress. She does not know what she is saying."

Christianna became violent. "Yes I killed him. That bastard, was going to kick me off the board, and disinherit me—", she shouted as the Bailiff along with several other officers, had to dragged out of the room."

A short time later, still stunned Jennifer , and Jack exited the room. Jack glanced over to his wife. "I am shocked, the populi of Salem is more intelligent than I would ever guess. So, my dear wife, upon seeing the outburst do you still hold on to the claim that Ms. Bartlett is innocent and a victim. Hmmm? Silence? `Yes my dear husband you were right, as always!"

"Maybe her lawyer was right?"

"Be serious, all that histrionics, was just another example of Ms. Bartlett's questionable acting skills. Accuse the lawyers of incompetence, or duplicity in hopes of getting off later on a technicality; act demented, and in retrial go for insanity."

"I guess. I just.... I mean she was, she seemed so sincere during the interview. She was a textbook victim."

Jack put his arm around his wife, "I'm sorry she used you too."

Before Jennifer could reply, her camera man was wildly motioning to her. "Jack, there's Wally, I have to go."

"Yes you must. And I, Mrs. Deveraux, need to get back to the paper. And begin my article and editorial. You keep the car. I'll walk. And remember I won the bet so tonight I claim my prize."

Jennifer's eyes widened, and she grinned from ear to ear, "Well, losing isn't that bad I guess. And even you, law of averages, must be right once in your life." And with that she gave him a quick kiss and walked off.

---

(August 28, 2000)

CHAPTER FOUR: JACK AND JENNIFER'S APARTMENT.

An agitated Jack sat on the couch looking at the baby book Jennifer had just started. He stared transfixed at the image from Jennifer's recent ultra-sound. He traced his finger over the developing fetus. It was still rather indiscernible, yet there it was in plan sight, right before him was an image of their -- his -- developing child. He recalled Jennifer's recent doctor's appoint. After all that had happened to him in his life, causing to see the world as it really was, even his somewhat jaded and cynical self had been blown away, standing there, holding Jennifer's hand, hearing their child's heart beat for the very first time. It had been the most amazing, wonderful, indescribable moment of his life. Jack let out a deep and melancholy sigh, as a sadness flashed across his face.

At that instant the phone rang. Jack froze for a moment and then he jumped up to answer it. "Dee.... Deveraux residence." The person on the other end apologized for having the wrong number and hung up. Jack closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He sat down and again, and then impatiently performed a tattoo on the coffee table with his fingers. After a few moments, he scratched his head nervously, and rose. Jack scanned the room, and smiled remembering his and Jennifer's recent painting session; fresh paint plus the decorating help and tips from Jo, Alice, Maggie, and most of all Julie had transformed the place, it still was not what Jennifer nor the child deserved, but it was an improvement. And then as if remembering something, the smile disappeared and a somber expression took its place. He began to pace around the room, and ended up in front of the tiny window, overlooking the back door of Alice's restaurant. Jack looked down at Jennifer's jade plant. Jennifer had been trying hard to revive it, but it was looking very sickly.

A short time later, Jack was back on the couch, his eyes closed and in contemplation. At that moment, Jennifer entered the apartment, and shut the door in disgust. "DAMMIT.... Jack did you read this. I.... I.... I can't believe it not even from that rag The Chronicle; listen :

"'Famed civil attorney , activist, and defender of the common man and scourge of powerful, greedy corporations, Lissane Gardener is in town at the bequest of Roger and Stella Lombard. As you may remember their son Robert was killed in the January explosion that destroyed the Salem Museum. The past few months, mostly to deaf ears, the Lombards have tried to receive justice for their son's needless death. They have insisted that had he received immediate medical attention their son would be alive today. They claim that their son was ignored while family members of Salem University staff and prominent members of the community were given preferential treatment. This reporter has spoken with several members of hospital staff, who for fear for their jobs wish to remain anonymous; these sources seem to confirm the Lombards' allegations. The Lombards specifically accuse Dr. Tom Horton Chief of Staff and members of the emergency room staff....'

"Can you believe that Jack? And then.... then it goes on to crucify my grandfather. You know that isn't true. Your reporters did numerous articles on the explosion, Robert Lombard received immediate medical attention and his injuries were too severe, nothing could have saved him. Jack?"

"What?" He replied, his mind preoccupied with other matters.

Jennifer threw her purse on the coffee table and sat next to him, "And to make matters worse Dan was a complete errrr today. Can you believe that he is siding with the Lombards. And is making Lissane Gardener out to be this crusader for the repressed and that my grandfather abuses his position . She's a big name ambulance chaser that's all. Trying to make this into a high profile case for her own advantage. Well, I went to Dan's office to ask for the story. Would you believe he had already given it to Madeline. They didn't even hide the fact that she had been in his office and that they had just.... I just don't want to talk about it. It makes me too damn mad. If it wasn't for the fact that we need the money , I'd tell that jerk where to stuff the job."

Just then the phone rang and agitated Jack jumped up to answer it, "Hello," his voice slightly cracking, "Deveraux residence?" There was a long pause, and Jack let out a long breath, "No, I would not like to give money to your hippie commie organization. And I do not appreciate you tying up my phone line either."

A bewildered Jennifer stared at him. In her fury over Dan and The Chronicle article she had not paid much attention to him. However, now she could tell that something was bothering him, and he was looking even more pale and thin. "Jack are you feeling okay?"

"Sure, fine, of course. I just have a headache. I'm sorry about The Chronicle you know as well as I that it is just a notch below a scandal sheet. Its editor and reporters like to take things and twist them, to exploit situations just to jack up the circulation. You, know," he said as he took her hand in his, "that The Spectator will publish the truth. And will stand firmly behind your grandfather -- and the other hospital staff. Sadly, however, I cannot promise that the public will listen or will want to listen to the truth." He then reached over and kissed her cheek, tenderly and with great love.

Jennifer caressed his cheek," Have I told you lately just how much I love Mr. Deveraux. You bring such love and joy to my life." As she spoke Jack narrowed his eyes. "You're my rock, my strength." She began to playfully fiddle with his tie." Jack seemed to grow more and more uncomfortable. "Without you who'd I have to do all those annoying little tasks, putting in the light bulbs that are out of reach, putting out the garbage, signing the checks--"

Jack got up quickly and walked towards the kitchen, "Jennifer, can just, please!" He replied in a curt manner.

Confused and somewhat hurt, "What's wrong?"

Jack poured himself a glass and water, and rubbed his forehead. "Just.... please you always consider yourself a modern, liberated woman. Start...."

Concerned, Jennifer got up and walked over towards him. She was about to place her hand on his forearm but hesitated. "Start what Jack?"

"Start acting like one. Nobody wants.... Jennifer you do not need me to do things for you -- or any man for that matter. You are very capable on your own." Jack turned around frustrated with himself. He could see the pain on her face and hated himself. You just don't understand. And how can I explain, he thought to himself. He took her his into arms. "I just mean you are a very capable. And you don't need me. That's all. "

"But I do.... You haven't changed your mind about the baby? About us?"

"No! No, I love you very much. I just want you to know that you do not need anyone. You are very competent on your own. You are the most precious thing in my life. I love you more than words can say. And there's nothing more in this world that I want than our child. It took awhile but I am able to understand that now." Under his breath, "Especially now."

"Well, I feel the same way Jack," she said as she wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tightly."

Jack then flashed her a wide grin, "I'm just being unnecessarily pessimistic; you know me, I never need a reason. Anywoo, let's table this for now. We need to freshen up and change for tonight's soirée at Wings. It appears the Williamses have an important announcement to make."

A short while later the phone rang. Jack was still in their bedroom getting ready. Jennifer walked over towards the phone, but was practically shoved out of the way by Jack who beat her to the phone; his face was ashen, "Hello? Oh, Vern it's you. What the hell is the problem this time. Vern just.... do whatever the hell you think, okay. You're always bitching about me not respecting your authority at the paper. So prove it to me!" Jack slammed down the phone and Jennifer watched perplexed as he paused a few moments, breathing heavily. He said nothing and returned to their bedroom."

Two hours later Jennifer and Jack, Alice and Tom, and Mickey and Maggie were seated at a large table listening to Doug and Julie. "So you see, dear family," Julie said "We wanted you to be the first to know."

"Yes, my Fair Lady and I have decided to do some remodeling to the old place."

They then proceeded to tell everyone their plans for Wings, hence to be called Portofino, after the resort town on the Italian Riviera which held a special place in both their hearts. Portofino would have a private room for gambling, matching the great casinos of the world; a bar and separate dining area with world class cuisine. The upstairs would be converted to a very romantic inn, containing only a handful of suites, all en par with the top romantic inns of Europe; for the warmer months Portofino would have al fresco dining and dancing under the stars, with private tables along the lake, and on the terrace; and finally it would have its own Italianate garden, wending down towards the lake, modeled after the palazzos of Tuscany.

After an exquisite, multi-coursed dinner which everyone ate with great relish except Jack, everyone sat discussing the wonderful news. However, after a time the discussion turned to a less happy topic -- the lawsuit. "Dr. Horton, I promise you that I and my staff will not stoop to sensationalism if it comes to a lawsuit. The paper will make sure to support you and the hospital."

Tom smiled "Thank you Jack; unfortunately it looks as if the Lombards will be filing a multi-million dollar suit and will demand my resignation as well as those of some our finest surgeons and nurses. And any negative ruling could easily have adverse effect on our accreditation, since we're a teaching hospital. We need all the help we can get." Tom replied.

"Yes, dear, we really are grateful to you. You have become very special to Tom and I." Alice added, "We're very thankful to have you taking care of our Jennifer Rose and that you've become one of the family -- we consider you one of our grandchildren." Alice said with a smile; she then leaned over and kissed his cheek.

Jack's expression became somber. He frowned, and excused himself, "Ummm, will you please excuse me, I have to check on Vern, see if.... to make sure everything is running smoothly.

Making sure Jack was out of ear shot, "Dear, what's wrong with Jack?" Alice asked.

"I don't know. He is acting more unusual than normal. At times he couldn't be more wonderful. He is very attentive and affectionate. And especially after the ultra-sound he has been very openly pleased about the baby. It's just.... I don't know.... The other night I awoke and he had his hand on my stomach. And twice I've awoken to find him just staring at me.... And he does that when he thinks I'm not looking--"

"That husband of yours, no matter how he huffs and puffs, he loves you very much; you know. He's always been like that," Julie interjected.

"Then just before we came here, I said something about me needing him, and he almost lost it. Saying weird things about me being a liberated woman and not needing a man. And you saw him just now."

"Well, Jennifer, he has always had a problem accepting a compliment. And you've told me that he has been busy with the paper and all the big stories.... and there is the baby. He may be truly excited about his upcoming fatherhood. But dear, it still is a big shock and strain on expectant fathers. Just ask your grandfather." Tom nodded in agreement. "Don't worry. He loves you and the baby, you're very for fortunate to have such a loving man as Jack." Though privately Alice had to admit that there was something unsettling about Jack behavior.

Jack lingered near the pay phones, all the while listening in on their conversation. He leaned his head back against the wall and sighed, "Oh Jennifer...."

---

(August 30, 2000)

CHAPTER FIVE: WINGS CONTINUED.

Jack had been so long away from the table that Jennifer decided to go look for him. She found him leaning against the wall near the payphones deep in thought. He didn't even notice her walking towards him. It was her touch that brought him back to the present.

"Jennifer!" he said automatically.

Jennifer looked puzzled. This constant state of distraction of his was getting worse and worse. She brushed her lips over his leaving them slightly damp. He pressed his lips together and sighed.

"Jack, what's wrong? Come on you can tell me. Do I smell of garlic from the prawns?" she laughed.

"No.... no. I always enjoy the taste.... your taste. I.... let's go back to the table. I've probably missed dessert."

She took his hand and they strolled back to the table. Each time Alice saw Jack and Jennifer like that she smiled to herself. Who would have thought? They are the most beautiful couple. And Jack, I don't think there could be a more feeling man.

They took their seats and immediately Jennifer was aware that the mood had changed. Tom was looking very grave and Mickey was getting ready to leave. Maggie leaned over and explained that Mickey had just got a call from one of the hospital board members to say that Lisanne Gardner has filed suit this afternoon. There was no escaping it now. It seemed that Tom, Carly and Marcus were all involved as well as the hospital itself. The Lombards were ready to fight this all the way. Everybody knew that the Lombards had very little funds so they must be supported by somebody with an ax to grind against the hospital and its senior staff. Mickey and Maggie hurried off and Tom stood up to follow.

"Come on Alice. I need to get home and start deciding how to handle all this. Staff morale is so low with all the cut backs. This could ruin us. I'm sorry Julie, Doug, but we really have to get onto this."

Julie was very sympathetic and offered to be a witness in the hospital's favor. "Look Grandpa, I was injured in that explosion too and I can't tell you how good the hospital and all its staff were to me. I wish we knew who was behind the Lombards."

Tom patted Julie's hand and left. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody right now.

"Well darlings," said Julie to Jack and Jennifer, "it seems that it's just the four of us. How about trying one of our new Italian gelato flavors. It's going to be specialty of the house. We have mocha crunch, the most divine lemon sorbet and for real chocolate lovers, there is a three tier creation of dark, milk and white chocolate topped with caramel sauce and honey toasted pecans. Jack? I know that your secret fetish is dessert."

"Thank you Julie but right at this time, food, even dessert, has lost its appeal. I think I'll take a rain check."

"Julie leaned over and put her hand on Jack's forehead. "Jennifer, darling, I think the boy is sick. Genuinely sick. I've never seen him refuse any kind of food that's offered free of charge. Did you hear that Jack? We are not charging you for the dinner." Julie laughed and Jack half smiled.

"I kind of had that worked out. You don't think we'd be sitting here if I thought the last course would be the bill?" said Jack.

Doug looked across at Jack. "I'm glad to see that people really do never change Jack. And you know I think Julie is right. You look sick, man."

Jennifer frowned. She hadn't given Jack's mood much thought but now that she looked closely at him he didn't look well. She pulled him up from the table.

"Jack let's go home. You do look sick. I want to take your temperature."

Jack smiled. "I think you're turning into a mommy already. Only mommies think of temperature first."

Jennifer convinced him to let her drive home and all the while he was silent and distant. She was worried that their finances were turning bad again and just when she thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Once inside the apartment, Jennifer started to question Jack about his mood but he continued to deny that anything was different about their financial situation or his job. In the end she gave up and suggested they just to bed and talk about it more in the morning.

She suddenly woke up in a fright having no idea what startled her. Her eyes were wide open and as they became accustomed to the dark, she saw that Jack was not in bed or even in the bedroom. She bound out to the living room and he wasn't there either. Then she realized that it was the sound of the front door closing that had woken her. Oh Jack, where have you gone? Surely you're not working at this hour. Jennifer curled up on the sofa to wait for his return. Two hours later he walked in the door. His eyes were sunken and his hair tossled.

"Jennifer!"

"Where have you been Jack? I've been so worried. Don't go out like that without telling me. I need you with me."

"I.... I needed to walk. You know how I need to get away sometimes. I needed it tonight. Jennifer I have something to tell you. I've been putting it off for days now but I realize tonight that you have a right to know. I can't let you find out by accident."

Jennifer sat up straight. "Jack, you are scaring me more than ever. You hate our life, don't you? You.... I can't even say the words. You," she sobbed, "you want to leave, don't you?"

Jack frowned at her. "Leave? Oh Jennifer the last thing I want to do is leave. Leave you or.... or the child."

"Jack what could possibly be more serious than me thinking you're going to leave me?"

He sighed, instinctively trying to lift the weight from his body. He sat beside her and took her hand stroking it as he spoke. He knew that he couldn't burden her with this until he found out himself.

"Jennifer, it's.... nothing.... it's just me worrying about lots of things in general."

She interrupted. "Jack I don't believe you. You were going to tell me something big."

"Jennifer, please, it's nothing more than general insomnia and you know how that gets. You end up trying to solve the Middle East crisis on your own."

"J.... Jack, you're sure? I mean you really don't have anything serious that's worrying you?"

He pulled her close. "I'm afraid that I don't at this point," he laughed. "In future, when I take a walk at night, I'll try to think of something."

"Jack! Don't tease me. You know how much I need you."

"You do not need me Jennifer. You do not need me."

She lay her face on his chest. "I do need you. I will always need you."

"I think it's important to remember that you are a strong woman with a good career and great potential to succeed.... without me in tow. You are the primary bread winner, after all."

"I really don't think I have you in tow Jack. That's just silly. You know that I'll always rely on you for support. Money has nothing to do with it."

"In the end, we are in the hands of the gods, Jennifer and despite what we want, sometimes the gods think otherwise. One must learn to take charge of that part of one's life one can control. I think--"

The telephone screeched out as Jack was still talking and Jennifer ran to get it while Jack headed for the bathroom.

"Hello."

"Jennifer, Jennifer Horton. Oh I mean Deveraux. I'm so glad I found you. I've been calling that other number and it's been cut off. Have you moved? Oh don't answer that. I have too much to say. What are you doing for the rest of your life?"

Still confused about what Jack was saying she took a deep breath before she replied. "Calliope, is that you?"

"Of course it's me. I have big news, gigantic news. You won't believe how exciting this is."

"That's great Calliope. I'm happy for you."

"Happy for me. You mean happy for us. Jennifer, how would you like to reside in the capital of the world? Great hotels, divine food, shopping to die for. Come on, you can't say no."

"Calliope, I'm sorry but I have no idea what you are talking about. Could I call you back at a later time. Jack and I were t--"

"Uh, uh, uh. Wait, don't hang up. I have to talk to you now. This won't wait. I have a job offer for you. A job offer of a lifetime. No more Mid-western corn for you. It's big time New York city from now on. I have been signed to present a daytime talk show in the big apple and I want you as a co-host. Just think of it, no putting up with Dan or that Madeline you told me about. No more getting the second rate stories and the bad locations. This is it, Jennifer. This is your chance to make a statement to the world. Jennifer Deveraux has arrived. Yeah I know you're thinking about Jack and all that. But the salary Jennifer, the salary will more than make up for what Jack is earning right now. In fact he can sit back and be your toy boy. I always thought that role would suit him. By the way, how is that hunk of yours? I've never forgiven you for taking him off the market, you know. That is one sexy guy."

Jennifer felt overwhelmed. Two hours ago, Jack was missing. Then he returns and talks of her going it alone and now she's been offered a big job in New York with a salary that she really needed if Jack was going to do something rash.

"Jennifer are you still there? I know it's a lot to take in but trust me. Would I lie to you? This is for real. This is not playtime. I'm sending you a fax with all the details and a copy of the contract for you to look at. We have to get this show going in the next month so it's important you make a decision within 48 hours. Otherwise I will have to look elsewhere and I don't want to do that. You have it babe. Your Q rating is through the roof. The show needs you. I need you. And you need the exposure and the money. This is your career stepping stone Jennifer and you know I'm not prone to exaggeration. Don't answer that. Well what do you think?"

"I.... look Calliope it's really a terrible time for me to have to make any firm decisions right now. I will tell you that I am interested. I.... Jack and I do need the money what with the baby and all. You know we never know what will happen next. I.... promise you I will consider it. I will. I have to go now. Send me the fax. Bye."

Jennifer put the phone down slowly and sank back on the sofa. Her mind raced between Jack's words. She knew that she shouldn't mistrust him but his track record wasn't good. When things got tough, he took off. No he would never do that again. Jennifer you are being paranoid. Things were bad at WATB and she wasn't sure if she could last much longer. More and more Dan was pushing her aside for Madeline and she was getting less and less airtime. She could see the writing on the wall. She knew she couldn't mention a word of this to Jack but she had to seriously consider this. It could make all the difference in their lives if they just had a bit more income. Within minutes Jennifer had decided to seriously consider this offer. She could come home for the birth but in the meantime the salary had to be much better than she was getting now. She was just starting to get used to the idea when Jack emerged wrapped in a towel.

"Who was that?"

"Um.... nobody.... really. Just work, you know. Do you have a busy day ahead?"

Jack frowned. "It was a long conversation for nobody. What little secrets do you have Mrs. Deveraux? Good news I hope. I certainly need it."

"It's.... I'll tell you later. I better get ready for work. Are you sure you don't want to tell me what this dark and foreboding mood is all about?" she said.

"Jennifer, I.... I need a bit of time to sort a few things out first. By the way, I will be uncontactable this afternoon. I have an appointment. Something I can't miss. You better hurry. It's late."

She rushed to the bathroom and Jack picked up the phone. "Marcus, it's me. Yes, Jack. So it's all set for 1 PM. right?..... Good. I have to find out for sure Marcus. The symptoms are just like before and I'm not quite at that five year mark yet that means I'm cured. If I was a betting man and I am, I'd say that I'm in for the fight of my life and this time I haven't a brother around to save my life." He slowly replaced the phone as he thought of Steve. He knew where he had to go this morning.

An hour later Jack was at the cemetery looking down at Steve's headstone.

"Hello old friend.

He crouched down and reached toward the inscription but instead just read the words.

"'Steven Earl Johnson'."

He sighed heavily.

"I don't know why. This should be easy. I've spent enough time in the past talking to dead guys. Hello Steve.... wherever you are. Look I'm sorry I never came by to pay my respects. I just.... you know how it is. It's not that I haven't been thinking about you and all that unsolicited advice you'd be so quick to hand out. You know I was just.... I was just realizing how difficult it must have been for you to leave your wife and child in the hospital, lying in a bed, knowing that you're just slipping away. Feeling your life just slipping away from them and knowing that there wasn't a damn thing that you could do to stop it. I just realized that. And, ah.... I found.... we finally have something in common. You see I have a wife and child too and I'm.... I'm going to leave them too and I don't know.... I don't know how to stop it either. I was.... it's a break, that's all. It's just a bad break. It's a bad break for both of us. I know what you used to say. Just.... don't just take the breaks, make the breaks. But in my case I don't know. I.... I.... I know that you're right. You're absolutely right. But I can't make any breaks right now. I can't control this just like you couldn't control the end. I think we both knew all along that the gods have control and no matter how hard the Johnson boys fight against it, sometimes the gods think otherwise. I tried to get Jennifer to understand that. I love her Steve. I really love her and I would give anything to spend the rest of my life with her but it seems we were destined for lesser things, you and I. Lesser.... things. Time, there never was enough for either of us. At least I'll be able to spend a little more time with Jennifer before.... every second is precious now."

Jack stood up and wiped his eyes.

"Anyway I'm sorry, I got to go. I got to go.... see our old friend Marcus about the rest of my life. So I'll see you soon hey Bro. I'll see you soon."

Jack walked slowly away from Steve's grave.

---

(September 28, 2000)

CHAPTER SIX: THE STAIRWELL LEADING TO
JACK AND JENNIFER'S APARTMENT.

It was just after 1:30, Jack should have been back at work, but somehow mechanically he found himself back at their apartment. Jack stumbled up the stairs, still in a daze from his most recent appointment with Marcus. Jack reached the top step and let out a deep breath. Part of him desperately needed to be with Jennifer, every fiber of his body yearned to be near her; he needed her now more than he ever needed anybody;. Another part felt trapped, being with her of all people, would be unbearable. He stopped and fell against the wall. "Dammit, why." He massaged his forehead and buried his face in his hands, reliving the events of just thirty minutes before. Leaning up against the wall, he hit his head against it. He tilted his head towards the ceiling and closed his eyes. His mind was swimming. Jack cursed. His life actually seemed to be turning around, and now this. He paused and turned around to leave, he could not see Jennifer afterall, she would ask too many questions about him returning home early and his expression would give him away. No, first he needed a drink -- more accurately several drinks.

Just as he started to walk down the stairs he ran directly into Jennifer, who was coming out of their apartment. "Jack, what are you doing home so early?" she said with a broad smile across her face."

Jack blinked several times, still in a daze, "Huh? Oh, Jennifer, what are you doing here?"

"I think I live here, you know. And I'll let you in on a secret, I live here with a very sexy man by the name of Jack Deveraux," she teased. Jack did not respond. Jennifer stared at him for several moments; she could see that something was troubling Jack. Jack's weirder than normal behavior had continued -- and in fact since yesterday had gotten worse.

"What did you say? Oh, why am I home?" Jack finally noticed the look of concern on Jennifer's face, he could not let her sense the truth so he willed himself to act as if everything was normal. "I just wanted to spend the afternoon with my ever expanding wife and developing progeny." Jennifer chuckled. "But I see both of you have plans elsewhere."

"Yeah, I am meeting my grandparents, things have been very difficult for them what with the lawsuit--"

"I'm sorry that my editorials haven't been any help. I wish I could do more, your grandparents have been.... well.... they have made me feel.... like a real honest to goodness Horton.... and you know I appreciate that and think.... think highly of them"

"That's because you are "a real honest to goodness Horton, and you're in for life." Jennifer did not notice the Jack's change of expression at this remark. "And My family loves you too Jack. It's not your fault that The Chronicle wrote that libelous article, accusing you of nepotism and questioning your motives. You've been wonderful Jack and I really love all you have done for my family -- and they do too. She leaned forward, kissing him on cheek.

Looking deeply into his eyes, she could now see that something was bothering him, and his appearance troubled her. "Are you feeling alright?"

Jack thought that it would be better to at least partially tell the truth. "I think it was just Jo's left over green noodle casserole kicking up, I feel a little nauseous and have a headache. And you wouldn't believe the slackers I have working for me. I've had to run that place single handed. So I said to myself let them fend for themselves," he smiled weakly.

She had noticed that Jack had been feeling ill for several weeks now, and he was becoming more and more gaunt. "Jack if you aren't feeling well I could--"

"NO," Jack said curtly." Sensing her distress, "No, really I am peachy keen. Couldn't be better. A-O-kay. Perfectamundo. Your grandparents need you. You know plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is, and rest on the couch, that is all I need."

Jennifer still was uncertain, a dark dread seemed to grasp her entire body. Knowing Jack she realized it was futile to press the issue. She was probably just being paranoid, it probably was just job pressure. It could not be anything more serious. Jack could not be really ill. That was impossible. Not now, not just as everything was going so well for them. "Okay, but I'll be back soon."

"Good. I shall rest and when you come back, we could think of things to occupy our time." He bent down and kissed her on the lips. "Give my regards to your grandparents. And tell them that The Spectator will continue to spread the truth."

When Jennifer was out of sight, Jack breathed a sigh of relief. It was just too much of an effort to keep up the facade. He lowered his head and sighed, "Why now."

From the stairwell Jennifer secretly watched Jack. "Dammit Jack what is wrong?" she said feeling a sick ache in the pit of her stomach. Not wanting to be seen by Jack she continued down the stairs. She needed to talk to her grandmother, badly.

Jack waited a few moments outside the door of their apartment. Just as he was about to unlock the door, Jo came down the hall. Jack thought to himself, When it rains it pours.

Jo had just run into Jennifer, who had told her that she was worried about Jack. She had reassured Jennifer that everything was okay. However, seeing Jack for herself she could tell that something was dreadfully wrong with her son -- a mother always knew.

A short while later, Jennifer was sitting in the Horton kitchen eating a donut and drinking tea. Alice looked at her concerned, "Dear, thanks for your concern. But I think there is another reason for this visit. Am I right?" Jennifer gave a slight nod. "And if I am not wrong, it has to do with Jack?"

"Jack hasn't done anything wrong. In fact he's been wonderful. It's just...." she hesitated.

"I don't doubt that. But you're still worried that something may be wrong?" The look on her grand-daughter's revealed to her that she was right. "You said the other day that he had been acting strangely, that hasn't change?"

"No, if fact the past two days things have gotten worse. Today just as I was leaving he came home. He never does that. The paper means so much to him and with all these big stories lately and trying to get control back.... I don't know and he has been feeling and looking so sick lately. Oh, Grandma, I am just so worry. I think he is trying to keep something from me. And I don't know what. He continues to insist that I don't need him and gets upset if I even act a little dependent on him. However, on the other hand he's been overly attentive. And I when he thinks I am don't know, I notice him watching me, and he just looks so sad."

"Have you asked him what's wrong?"

"I've tried but he gets so upset when I do. I have just given up. And today he admitted he wasn't feeling well but made up an excuse about work and bad food. I don't know. He has been under pressure--"

"Jennifer Rose, Jack does have alot of pressure lately. It probably is nothing wrong. And as you have said he in the past he does love you very deeply, he probably just doesn't want to worry you."

"You think so?" Alice did not know how to answer her grand-daughter. The truth was she too was deeply concerned about Jack. She had been a doctor's wife for over fifty years and had worked long enough in a hospital to know something seriously was wrong with Jack.

Meanwhile, after a great deal of convincing, Jo had gotten Jack to inside her apartment. "Please son, tell me what's wrong."

Jack messaged his neck. Jo was just as bad as Jennifer; he knew how she would react if he told her the truth. And really, why tell her; why worry her when there was a very good possibility that nothing was wrong. Then again he had to tell someone. Jack remained silent debating what to do. It had taken years for him to admit it to himself, and still it was extremely difficult for him to admit it publicly, but he relied upon Jo's advice -- her mothering. He took in and let out several deep breaths, trying to gain strength. Finally he spoke.

"I've been seeing Marcus lately," he frowned. "I haven't been feeling to well. I thought, think it is because of the money, the paper, BabyHowie, the baby. Anyway, I went in for tests, and today," his voice cracked. "....And today.... There is a possibility that my Hodgkin's Disease is out of remission.... and," not being able to look her in the eyes, "and, he and the specialist just told me that the cancer may have spread."

Jo looked at her son, shocked. "Dear God...." She sobbed."

Jack hated this, he knew how she was going to react, he just could not deal with it now.

Jo, threw her arms around him, and cradled him. "I'm so sorry."

Jack just allowed her to hold him. After several moments, he eased away from her embrace, and lovingly put his arm around her and wiped her eyes with his handkerchief. "No.... no... it's only a possibility, really. It probably is just a mistake. Marcus said so himself and you know what a great plastic surgeon he is."

"Why Jack, why keep it a secret," she said in-between sobs.

"This is why."

"But Jennifer, she has a right to know. You have to tell her, Jack--"

"No, never.... at least not for now. She is happy and soon will be off in the Big Apple becoming a star. She deserves that. And if she suspected anything you know she would never go. This is a chance of a lifetime, and I am not going to stand in her way."

Jo, cradled his face between her hands, "Jack.... when are you going to learn. Jennifer loves you. She wants you."

"Well, be that as it may. Yes.... but for whatever reason, I still cannot understand, yes she loves me. And...." Jack frowned, trying to get the words out. "And.... I know how she will react. It is best for her health and especially for the health of our child that she does not know. She does not need any stress. If anything were to happen to her, to our child, I'd.... So promise me, Jennifer will not know anything.... anything about this. And remember this is only precautionary, chances are it is nothing.

An hour later, outside her door, Jo gave Jack a big kiss and then hugged him, not letting him go. "Mmmm, Jo, mmm...., cough.... can't breath." Jo, loosened her hold on him. "Oh, son, she sobbed." Jack looked at her. Understanding, she tried to regain her composure and be strong for him. "Feeling better," he bent down and kissed her on the forehead, "good." Flashing a grin, "Remember--" Just then Jack spied Jennifer coming down the hallway. "Okay, scoot, scoot, if Jennifer sees you in this state she will know something is up -- I should know I trained her to be an ever observant reporter.

Jo gave Jack a quick peck on the cheek, and went inside closing the door, just as Jennifer walked up to him, "So, how are your grandparents?" he asked.

They're fine, considering. Why is Jo so upset?"

"Jo?" Jo, oh, Jo." Jack put his arm around his wife and led her to their apartment. "You know how overly emotional she is. It seems as if one of her favorite soap characters, actor, has been let go and she is a basket case. She wanted me to write an editorial in the paper. These obsessive soap fans, they are worse than Trekkies."

Some time later, Jack and Jennifer were sitting on the couch, Jennifer was trying to read Jack's expression. On the surface, he looked a little better than he did earlier; however, after all these years she knew Jack, she could sense that he was definitely hiding something: A feeling of foreboding gripped Jennifer, she could not put her finger on it but something drastically was wrong; she shivered.

"Are you feeling okay," Jack asked?

"Fine. I was just.... how are you feeling?"

"Better actually. But well... I still am somewhat.... tired. And though I have not done anything like this since I was four years old, I was thinking about taking a nap. Alone," he said flashing a mischevious grin. "Though I would be willing to take a joint nap, if you were so inclined."

"Hmm, joint nap?" A grin slowly spread across Jennifer's face, "Now, that you mentioned it Mr. D. That is a good idea, this load that I am carrying does tend to make me a little tired once the afternoon comes along. So lead the way...."

Some time later, Jack and Jennifer lay in bed after having made love. Jack watched as Jennifer slept, a pained look on his face. Jennifer cuddled up against him resting her head on his chest. The feel of her body next to his caused him to feel a bittersweet joy. He bent down, and brushing away her hair kissed her forehead. Even in sleep, she reacted to his touch and smiled. Jack continued to watch her, frowning. Thinking to myself, Why God, why now. You bring this very special person it to my life. And then wonder of wonders have her fall in love with me. After all that had done. Now You give us a child. And now when life is the most dear to me than it ever had been, what do You do. You bring my cancer out of remission -- just when I reached that five year mark. Is this my punishment for my past sins. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. So, be it. But at least don't transfer my sins to Jennifer and the child.

Sometime later, Jennifer awoke. For a moment she felt perfectly at peace, in perfect bliss -- lying there in Jack's arms. However, as she thought over their recently love making her dark fears resurfaced. It had more intensity than ever before. Jack had not been rough, but on the contrary had been extremely tender and loving, and very passionate. However, there was more to it than that. She attempted to analyze what had happen, the only thing she could think of was that it was as if he had been desperately trying to hold on to something, to cling to something. Even to almost forget something.

A chill ran down her back. It was right there, in the back of her mind. However, she could not, or more correctly would not allow herself to consciously admit what she was thinking. Admitting to her fears was tantamount to making them fact. Jack's recent odd behavior, his-- Just then Jennifer's thoughts were interrupted by the phone. She looked over and saw that for once Jack was sleeping soundly. She had no wish to disturb him, so she quickly put on her robe and went into the living room to answer the phone.

"Deveraux residence."

On the other end, a woman's voice replied, "Yes, is Mr. Deveraux there? I phoned his office and his secretary said he had gone home."

"Yes, he's here. But he is sleeping. I'm his wife, I can relay the message to him."

"Sure, tell him Drs. Hunter and Cavalcanti think it would be best, to move up the MRI to two days from now, that would be Wednesday, May 20th at 8 AM."

Jennifer hung up, frozen. "Doctors?" She tried to think where she had heard the name Cavalcanti...." A feeling of terror, like nothing she had ever felt before seized her. He was the chief of oncology at the hospital. Everything suddenly came crashing down upon her. It all made sense. She had told Jack that she had accepted his past. However, that was not true, she had accepted what he had done, the good and the bad; but his medical past, that was one thing she had not accept, the one thing she had tried so hard to ignore. Jack's cancer, the possibility that it would resurface was the one thing she could never dwell upon. The thought of losing Jack, of him being in pain, those things she had swept from her mind now overpowered her. She felt her stomach, their child, never knowing him, never experiencing how wonderful he was. All these thoughts were too much to endure. Her chest ached with an unbearable pain. She slumped to the floor, sobbing bitterly. It felt as if her heart had being wrenched from her body....