Separate Vacations and Summer Infidelity - Summer Flings, Summer Extramarital Affairs, Cheating Husbands, Signs of Infidelity

Has your spouse or significant other suddenly suggested (or insisted ) that the two of you take separate vacations this year? He could be laying the groundwork for having a summer fling. Summer is peak season for infidelity and extramarital affairs. Separate vacations figure prominently in much of this summer infidelity.

Has he been constantly harping about “needing space” this summer so he can do his own thing? Exactly where is it that he wants to go? What is it that he wants to do that doesn’t include you?

If he sounds too eager, is too insistent, or pushes too hard for time away from you and the kids, you might want to re-think your summer plans.

Men who’d never consider cheating on their wives and girlfriends at other times of the year, eagerly anticipate and actually plan on having a summer fling. Separate vacations are usually an integral part of these plans. They employ a number of “separate vacation schemes in order to facilitate these short-term affairs.

Does your husband routinely send you and the kids to a time share or a vacation home for the summer? Or to the beach, lake, mountains, or to visit relatives in a distant state for a week or two? Many summer cheaters use this time to play once you’re safely out of the way. This is prime time for a married man to have his summer fling.

Is your significant other treating you to a dream vacation that he knows you can’t refuse? – a Caribbean cruise, a spa, a fancy resort, or a trip with your girlfriends to your favorite vacation spot? It’s an effective way to pave the way for “summer play.” Not only has he conveniently removed you from the scene of the crime, he earns points for being a thoughtful and generous mate.

In some lines of work, business travel can be used to camouflage a summer affair. If it’s customary for your husband or boyfriend to travel, he can easily invent a counterfeit convention or a bogus business trip. But even a legitimate business trip can give him a chance to cheat far from the sight of prying eyes. Are his trips lasting longer or occurring more frequently during the summer months? He could be padding his trip with an extra day or two to allow for fun and games. If he travels with female co-workers or business associates, he may have a willing partner for a short-term summer affair.

Cheating husbands and boyfriends sometimes carve out time for a summer fling by faking fictitious fishing trips or other rugged activities with male friends. Men know that certain extreme sports, or outdoor adventures ( camping, rock-climbing, skydiving, para sailing, kayaking, whitewater rafting, etc) in the company of other males are unlikely to be questioned by the women in their lives. And if he presents it as a “guys-only” trip, he won’t have to worry about you asking to tag along.

Some summer cheaters actually team up and take trips with like-minded summer philanderers, for the sole purpose of having summer flings. They pick a hot vacation spot for their sexual spree, where the object is, as one guy put it “to sample as many women as possible in the allotted time.”

Not every man who sends his wife away for the summer or treats his girlfriend to a summer vacation is setting the stage for a summer fling. But why take a chance? To be on the safe side, put a few checks and balances in place, while still giving your husband or boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. Since most of these men aren’t really hard-core cheaters, this is fairly easy to do. This is the key -- don’t make it easy for him to cheat. If a summer fling looks like more trouble than it’s worth, most summer cheaters won’t take the chance.

• Instead of separate vacations, choose a vacation spot where you can both participate in activities you enjoy. Many resorts have programs for children from infants to teens. , You and your husband will have free time during the day to pursue separate interests if you’d like, and still enjoy each other’s company at night.

• If he’s attending a convention or conference, or taking a business trip, arrange to travel with him, or join him there. He can’t get into trouble if he spends his “down time” with you.

• If he truly craves extreme sports or outdoor adventures, look into one of the many kinds of adventure travel vacations for families or couples.

• If you’re going to your summer home, don’t be predictable. Keep your husband or boyfriend off guard. Let him know you’ll be popping in from time to time so he won’t have any idea exactly when you’re likely to show up. This will keep him on his toes.

• Or, this summer stay in the city instead of going to your time share or vacation home. Send the children to summer camp, or to visit relatives in another state, so you and your husband can honeymoon at home. Plan a summer‘s worth of romantic evenings and weekend getaways for just the two of you.

• If you’re planning to visiting relatives in a distant state, send the kids ahead so you and your husband can have a week or two of quality time with each other. Or delay the trip until the whole family can travel together.

For more ways to short-circuit or prevent a summer affair, request a FREE copy of the Summer Infidelity Tip Sheet which also tells how to spot the signs of a summer fling or summer infidelity, E-mail SummerInfidelity@gmail.com with “ summer tips-ws “ in the subject line.

Some women just ignore summer flings since they usually have a built-in expiration date. Normally, when summer is over, these flings die a natural death. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes, if you’re not careful, a summer fling can turn into a permanent state of affairs. Your husband or boyfriend could become so attached to his summer love that he leaves you to be with her.

So if you see signs of summer infidelity developing or already taking place, speak up, and let him know you’re aware of what’s going on. Don’t let him think he’s getting away with his summer fling, or he’ll continue it, or do it again next year. Speak up before the situation gets out of hand.

Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news. She is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, which documents practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs women usually overlook.

Ruth has been quoted in USA Today, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago Tribune, Newsday, the New York Post, Cosmopolitan, ABCNews.com, FoxNews,com, Reuters, AP, UPI, AFP, iVillage, MSN Lifestyle and numerous other print and online media worldwide.

Ruth has also been a guest on The Today Show, CNN, Fox News, 1010WINS, NBC News, ABC News, BBC, CBC, Ireland’s Late. Late Show, Sirius Satellite Radio, Telemundo, and over 440 other radio and TV news and talk shows in the United States, Canada, Europe, South America, Australia, New Zealand and the Caribbean.