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Love Lost At The Diamond
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Dedicated to my childhood love Lucy. I always loved you and I never meant to break your heart.
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Written By:
Bradley D. Chapline
Page One
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It was 1973. I was a young novice Marine deployed in the Mediterranean. I was lonely, scared of what the immediate future held for me. Situations in the Middle East were at a point of explosion.
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I wondered what it would be like to get married, have children, buy a house and live happily ever after. I began to reflect on my life as a child. I was raised in a town named Perry Hall which was a middle class suburb of Baltimore, Maryland. My thoughts were, of all the bad things that had happened, I could overcome them and live the life of the advertised American dream. Little did I know this was virtually impossible. My past made it inevitable that I would be walking into an inescapable trap.
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When I was nine years old, I had an undyling love for baseball. I lived and breathed this sport. At this young age, I built a baseball diamond in an open gravel bank located behind the neighborhood where I grew up. It was a beautiful work of art. I would take old broom sticks, load up a wheelbarrow full of stones, and practice hitting. I would stand at home plate with this stick, throw the stone up in the air and belt what I dreamed to be base hit after base hit. I practiced this until the blisters on my hands became open wounds and my hands were bleeding and in pain to the point where I couldn't even begin to have this stick touch any part of my hands. I would then go home and get my mother's gardening gloves, and begin hitting again base hit after base hit.
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The neighborhood kids began to come together for a game once a week back at the diamond. Over a period of time the games were so good that adults came to watch. I met a girl from our neighborhood named Lucy. She was extremely tall and slender for her age. I remember clearly the first time she came to the diamond wanting to play. We all laughed at her and avoided picking her to be on our team. Like most girls, we expected that Lucy would just start crying and leave. No way, not with Lucy. She got this mean look on her face and told all of us she was going to play or fight us. We all discussed whether or not we thought this girl was for real. I believed she was. I selected Lucy to be on my team. What a shortstop she was! Lucy was great! Lucy could also out run and out hit any other boy there. Although we were very young, Lucy and I fell in love and became one.
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For the next two years it was wondrous relationship. We played baseball, football and basketball together. We were always on the same team. We took moonlight walks into the gravel banks gently holding hands, talking about sports. There was an old Native American graveyard located on top of a hill. It was laced with beautiful trees and blueberry patches. We sat within this beauty and gently kissed. The embraces that Lucy and I shared were never to be matched again. During the deep dark nights, a romantic moon would glisten as Lucy and I would stroll together across the gravel banks for several miles until we reached a deserted boy scout camp located in a wooded area. Lucy and I would lay together in a grassy area with a beautiful stream gently flowing next to us. Lucy spoke of how everyone in her family made fun of her for being a tomboy. She also expressed that many in school also made fun of her. As I embraced Lucy, she told me I was the only friend she had on this earth, and that I meant the world to her. I learned at a very young age what the true meaning of love was.
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I was a very happy vibrant child who was excelling in school. Lucy brought out the best in me. I had an older brother named Allan by five years. Allan was an extremely ugly unhappy individual who was an absolute mommas boy. His face was riddled with pimples and he had buck teeth. Allan was a tower of power with mom by his side. My family became aware of my relationship with Lucy. I was psychologically castrated. Our relationship was exposed one winter day when Lucy and I were playing tackle football in my backyard. When Lucy and I would tackle each other, we would lay on the ground embracing each other laughing and enjoying the sentimental attachment we had for the other. My parents viewed this as disgusting and Allan took this as his opportunity to inflict severe damage on me. He passed these rumors along to all my school friends and acquaintances, as well as covering the neighborhood where we lived. I would never be close to Lucy again unless I was assured no one would see us. This left irrevesible deep hurt within Lucy.
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I hated my family with a passion, but especially Allan. My happiness began to crumble, and my anger and violent tendency began to take hold. I had always shared a bedroom with my brother. I could no longer stand it. I moved my mattress from my twin bed into the floor of the closet. When it was time for me to go to bed, I would crawl into the closet floor and close the door behind me.
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I was getting ready for bed one night. I was undressing from my regular play clothes into my pajamas. Allan was already in his bed. He was watching me intently. It gave me a very scarey and eerie feeling. Allan then said to me, "Of course I know all about you and Lucy. You do something for me and I promise I will not say anything more about you two". Allan then turned on his stomach and said, "Come get on top of me".
I said, "What do you mean"?
He said, "Come get on me the way you do Lucy".
I said, "No!"
Allan then said, "I take it you never want to be with Lucy again".
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I then climbed on the backside of my brother. Allan began to move his buttocks. He felt my penis through the pajamas begin to stiffen. He then told me to lean forward and kiss the side of his face. I attempted to block this reality out of my mind by pretending that I was with Lucy. It was the most gross experience that I would ever endure in my life. At the conclusion of this sexual act, I went into my closet, closed the door tightly behind me, and silently cried. I needed my life back with Lucy. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me.
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Approximately a week later my parents were not home and Allan was down in the club basement with one of his friends. I brought Lucy into my bedroom. It was now a very strange feeling. The love we had once shared just no longer seemed to be there. I undressed myself and Lucy. I laid Lucy very gently on my bed. We made love, but it was a terrible experience for both of us. I had visions of the homosexual acts Allan forced me into, while Lucy felt betrayed by me because I had given in to being ridiculed and would not be with her publicly anymore.
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I had serious thoughts and plans of murdering Allan. At the age of twelve there would never be a person I despised more then him. I recalled being in a park when I was a happy child with my parents and Allan. My parents were shooting archery this day. I was six years old. There were a group of picnic tables located closely together. I was jumping from one table to the other. During one of my jumps Allan pulled this table away from me. My face hit the corner of this wooden table directly. Blood was flowing profusely from my face. Allan was laughing at me. My parents took me to the hospital where large fragments of splintered wood were found in the corner of my right eye. The physician extracted as much of this wood as possible without putting any remaining vision from this eye in jeopardy. The doctor stated that the remaining wood in my eye would cause severe nerve damage in this region. From that time on, every time I would eat or have any type of facial movement my right eye enlarges uncontrollably while my left eye remains normal. I have endured many fights and taken an insurmountable amount of abuse related to this right eye of mine.
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I was now 14 years old. Lucy and I were no longer partners. Nowadays we competed against each other in neighborhood games. My heart was lost. Lucy lived six doors down from my house. I had now become friends with Lucy's next door neighbors. They were the Walters family. They were the owners of a quite large construction company. They had an unusually large family and a house of tremendous size compared to that of other houses in the neighborhood.
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I was a seasoned star in Perry Hall playing baseball for the town's Recreation Council. I played baseball for five seasons there. I pitched with both hands and compiled a record of 36 wins and 4 losses. I was also a switch hitter and never batted under .325 for a season. All this with partial vision in my right eye. For all five seasons I also led in stolen bases and runs scored. I was also a prolific bowler in the junior ranks. At the age of 12 years I had won the Maryland State Junior singles and all-events titles in Odenton, Maryland.
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But life for this sandy blond haired, blue eyed boy was about to plummet. Allan was utilizing anything he could possibly muster against me to force me into sexual relations with him. I wanted greatly to go to my parents, but I didn't. I definitely did not trust my mother. In her eyes Allan could do no wrong. One night during a forced sexual act my mother opened the door to our bedroom and witnessed what my brother was doing to me. She said nothing. My mom turned around, walked out of the room, and closed the door behind her. I hated her more then ever now. I began virtually living down at the Walters residence.
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One day I walked in to the house when my parents were not home. Allan was in the club basement with his friend. They began making fun of me and Lucy. I warned both Allan and his friend to stop. Allan stopped, but his friend did not. I went in to my dad's workshop and got a hammer. I then beat his friend over his head repeatedly with a ball peen hammer. Blood seemed to be everywhere. He was taken to the hospital by ambulance. Although Allan's friend survived, I never saw him again.
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