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Counting The Days Till My Death
I was the one
no one remembered
the one they'd liked to have
fed to the sharks
The one with bruises
from my mothers hands
The one with cuts on my wrists
I have a million stories
that one one wants to hear,
and a soul
that only dreams
of laughter
& jokes I have
no one to tell
I can't wait
till the day I die,
to become the
Ghost in Your Mirrior
A bloody face
that howls
with the pain
of having been
ignored...
...forgotten.
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Take Me Hurt Me
Take me, hurt me
Piece by piece
Inflict me with pain
And never cease
Make me bleed
Let the blood spew
Poke out my eyes
If you want to
Break my arm
In a million places
Hurt me so bad
People cover their faces
Take me, hurt me
With all your might
Beat me up
Make me a sickening sight
Because that's how I feel
All bloody and beaten
Broken and blind
It feels like my heart has been eaten
I"m so ugly inside
It could make you sick
So nasty and disgusting
Make the outside me fit
Take me, hurt me
So I'm almost dead
To let the people see
What's inside my head
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Nightmare
Nightmare I see you come
dancing to the beat of my heart, to the beat of the drum
light drips from your footsteps but I dare not follow you
you lead me to rumors, to lies, to things I cannot deny
you haunt my darkest dreams
floating within hated memories
but no matter how far I run, you still find me
Nightmare consumed with unknown fire
from your words the flames flows
and the scars they leave always show
the past comes from within you and about you
to remind me of all these things I've done
Nightmare I wish I could hit you
so maybe you could bear one scar to grace your flawlessness
because I don't understand why you hurt me
I've been hurt before so why are you hurting me even more?
I wish I could kill you or bury you alive
but you are only within my mind
how can it be
that the one place I can hide
is the only place you'll ever be?
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Cutting
I slide the blade across my arm...
Once twice third times a charm.
The pain I feel is not the slashing of skin
But the pain I keep hidden deep with in
The only way I know to let it all out
Is to see my blood trickling down.
I let the pain build up and up
Unitl I decide it's time to cut
The deeper the pain the deeper the scar
One day I'll end up cutting to far.
I'll bleed to death and have no more pain
You'll never have to worry about me cutting again
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Domus Vaco
Immortal, timeless,
Eternus.
Not mortal, not harmless
Cruentus.
Domus Vaco, humble abode.
Lamia
Predator of old,
Fabula
Victus Vita, nourishing strife,
Erus.
Boldly striding in eternal life
Audax eternus.
Noctis Eternalis,
Domus vaco,
Lami cruentus,
Animus Noctu congegatio.
Procer Noctu eternus
Requis lamia,
Rector minuo,
Eternus.
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Different
Things seemed different
Feelings understood
Tears felt, mind expressed
Dissapointment
Hurt
Wrong
Not caring
Dead inside, to easy to hide
"how you doing?"
"I'm good"
I lied
Hidden, by fear
Nothing to understand
The wall
Supressing it all
Can't take the fall
With no one to call
Can't take it all
No where to fall
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Crumble
Feel your world
Tuble and fall
No one to hear
Your desperate call.
You don't belond
In this world
See it fall
And you stomach churl
With the news
Life will never be the same
It's not my fault,
So who's to blame?
You heart is in torment
Your head is confused
You have no free will
No choices to chose
See the flowers crumple
And fall from the trees
Seeing the lightning crack the sky
And the power of the seas
Why was I chosen
To suffer this disease?
I can't cope
My pain will never cease
The world is a mirror
Reflecting my pain
And a god who doesn't care
And I? Nothing to gain.
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Done
I want to leave
This hell bent place
I want to be gone
Without a trace
The yelling and screaming
Only make me cry
It hurts so much
I just want to die
How do I live
When all I do is hurt
All I am us burnt
I am burnt by the sight
The sight of pain
This life sucks
And there's nothing more to gain
The cuts on my skin
Are really deep
The bloods all over
No more to keep
Whats done is done
And we can't take it back
So now I'll live
And face the fact
The fact that life sucks
There's no more fun
And hopefully one day
It will all be done
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Voices In My Head
The voices in my head drive me insane
Won't the surgeons make incisions
And make them go away.
Say hello to my little friends
The world is so ugly
And we are living in it.
The voices gently worsen my brain
Slowly driving me insane
Making me want to put a bullet in my head
I want to tear my skin
Leave knives in my brian
Stabbing at the voices making me go insane
Say hello to my little friends
The world is so ugly
And we are living in it.
Chaos rules in my little head
The people around me always wind up dead.
Won't someone help me get them out of my head?
I need to be alone once again
Say hello to my little friends
The world is so ugly
And we are living in it
Tonight it all ends
The bullet hit my brain
Blew it up to pieces
Look at the mess I've made
Say good bye to my little friends
The remain in the world
I'm no longer insane.
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Gleaming
They say April showers
Bring may flowers,
But all my rain
Just brings more pain.
My tears slowly fall,
Not noticed at all,
My agony burns deep.
But out it doesn't seep.
I need help quick
Before I get more sick.
I'm liable to go insane,
From dealing with all this pain.
Fas, someone, save me please,
From this dismay that you don't see.
Save me from his horrid life,
Because I'm eyeing a gleaming knife
It seems like I"m goin crazy.
All my days are getting hazy.
My mind's messed up
I've had enough
Save my soul.
Accept me whole
Take me for who I am.
And I'll dot he best I can
I'll try to live my life like this.
But I still dont' see how I can exist
Await my bloodshed,
I know you want to in your head.
You want me to cry
To hurt and die.
You want me to end it and satisfy you,
And maybe that is just what I'll do.
So someone save me from this horrid life,
Because I"m eyeing a gleaming knife.
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Bloody Rose
As I lay in my own blood
Memories go through my mind
From my wrists a flood
Will the pain stay far behind?
I can feel the darkness
Her arms around my waist
Her lips upon my neck
Begging for a taste
Shaking I take the knife
Across my neck it flows
Draining out my life
I am the Bloody Rose....
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Heart Broken
Impossible to hear
Enclosed in bars of bone
Covered thickly by flesh
Invisible and unknown
Screaming out in torment
But quiet to all ears
Silence of a breaking heart
Unheard for so many years
Memories so black
Threaten to swallow whole
Loneliness so real
Shivering in the cold
Longing to open up
Silent secrets to share
Afraid of being hurt again
Bound with consuming fear
Hiding in the breast
Not wanting to be found
Words of revelation
Fall quickly to the ground
If you should somehow touch it
You will feel it to
Wanting understanding
But still afraid of you
Too afraid to play
Heart music for your ears
Scared that if you hear it
No longer you'll stay near
Afraid of what you'l think
Frightened of what you'll do
If I unbolt the heart's lock
And show my pain to you.
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Frozen Tears
Locked in time
Frozen tears
No escape they've been there years
Scared for life
Cuts on my arms
They all act like
They don't know I self harm
Twisted thoughts
Distorted mind
Don't want to look
Scared of what I might find
Don't want to live
I know one night
My minds going to give
Let me draw you a picture.
A picture with a twist
I'll draw it with a razorblade
I'll draw it on my wrist.
And within this picture.
A fountain will appear.
And within the magic fountain
All my troubles will dissapear.
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