take a chance on me

RATING: NC17 If same-sex relationships bother you, you might want to read something else. Otherwise, ENJOY!!!!!!!!!

LEGAL STUFF: Copyrighted 2004 by Adrienne Lee and Miranda Rafferty. Non-original characters, if applicable, are used without permission under "Fair Use" doctrine. The authors reserve all rights attached to all original aspects of this work. This is a work of fiction; any similarity to characters or persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

“Hey, Olivia, guess who Jeanette and I found?” Ling said immediately as the goose-stepping detective approached.

“Who did you and Jeanette find?” She played it up. Jeanette? You actually used your middle name at one point? Wait, was he the reason you stopped? The siren alerting the fact that Alex was recognized by someone from her past sounded in the back of the brunette’s mind. Somehow, the noise never got passed the green-eyed monster.

“Geoffrey, Olivia; Olivia, Geoffrey.” Alex jumped in. “He and Lisette and I used to hang out together. Way back. He went to our brother-school.”

Lisette? Oh, that must be what the L in L. Ling Szeto stands for. The detective brain quickly concluded, before the monster took over again. Hm. I wonder who did the hanging out. “Hello. Pleasure to meet you.” She smiled, and shook his hand warmly. Eat shit and die.

Tall-dark-and-handsome bowed lightly, a sparkle bounced off his Crest White Strip teeth. “Any friend of Jenny’s a friend of mine. Especially one so lovely.”

Jenny. How cozy. Now why don’t you crawl back under the rock you came out of. “Thank you very much.” Once again, she smiled, the charm-o-meter on overload.

“Look, Geoffrey, it’s really great running into you again.” Ling patted the man on the arm to catch his attention. “Maybe we’ll do lunch sometime.”

“Yeah, we need to get back to our friends,” Alex concurred. Like a prosecutor would concur with the judge handing down a 25 to life sentence.

“Here, take my card.” Geoffrey offered the first one to Ling. When it was the blonde’s turn, he took her hand, and kissed her palm. “You know, Jeanette, you were always the very best.” Then pressed his card on top. Oblivious to the monsoon brewing overhead, he insisted, “Olivia, you must come with the three of us when we go to lunch. A lucky man could never have too many beautiful women around him.”

I’m sure that was a fun little ménage à trois. And now you want a ménage à quarte? You’re not going to manage anybody when I get through with mangling you. And if you touched her again, you’ll be minus a hand. She fumed internally, the toothy smile never leaving her face. “Oh, yeah, sure, Geof, it’ll be really nice. Thank you. I’m sure I’ll enjoy that.”

“Give me a call when you’re free. That’s the advantage of having my own business, I can leave whenever I want.” He said without any trace of pretension.

“Where? Maybe Jeanette and I have been there.” At this point, she thought about wrapping her arm around Alex, but then she stopped herself. In retrospect, she should have done exactly that. Why didn’t she go with her instinct? “We go to Chelsea a lot.”

“Yes, I have a location in Chelsea, one in Tribeca, and my partner and I are working on another one in Soho.”

Oh boy. Modest and charming. If she kissed you, are you going to turn into a prince? Toad. “Wow! That’s impressive!” Sarcasm might have been her intent, but the comment came across as bubbly as a bottle of two-dollar champagne. All fizz.

“We’re having an opening next Thursday, maybe you’d like to come by. Here,” he pulled out another card and extended it to Olivia.

Why don’t you take it, and put it where the sun doesn’t shine. And I hope it shreds your silk-lined ass. “Why, thank you. Maybe I’ll drag Jeanette to see you next week.” To her surprise, he took her hand and refused to let go. For reason unknown, she made no effort to take it back. Did she have a death wish? As they say, hind sight was always 20/20.

“Oh my, you have a beautiful hand, an artist’s hand,” Geoffrey admired. “Such long, lovely fingers.”

Yeah, the better to shove your silver spoon down your throat. Make that ladle. Super-sized. “Oh, Geof, you do know how to make a girl blush.”

“Well, I’ll let you get back to your party.” He beamed at Ling and Alex, and kissed Olivia’s hand. “I look forward to seeing you.”

Alex turned to Ling, the tornado over her head spun with her. “We’ll be there shortly, I need to powder my nose.”

Grabbing her lover by the hand, Alex dragged Olivia towards the ladies’ room. At some point, the brunette tried to walk ahead. Unfortunately, while they were practically the same height, her legs were definitely shorter. Sometimes life was just unfair that way.

“Alex…” She protested breathlessly as Alex unbuckled her belt and unzipped her jeans. “Here?” It wasn’t the first time they did it in the bathroom, but Alex’s entire staff was waiting for them outside.

“You’re mine. Anywhere and anytime.” With a growl, she yanked Olivia’s shirt up and her jeans down, pausing long enough to kick her lover’s feet apart. “And don’t you ever forget it.”

Breast tumbling out to meet aggressive hand, clit throbbing to knowing manipulations. Oh god. And the way Alex’s tongue worked her mouth, thrusting and thrusting. Frenzied with need and ownership. Mirroring the wild insistent strokes deeper and deeper into her sex. Her body dripping, welcoming, pulling her lover in.

Push and pull. Push and pull. She moved with Alex. Clung to her. Pulled her deeper. Pumping and moving and contracting around her.

Without warning, the finger resting against her ass pressed forward and up. Her eyes flew open and slammed shut again, as shock waves of penetrating pleasure raced through her. As her lover filled her. Filled her from all sides. Everywhere. Completely. All at once.

Harder. Faster. She rode her lover’s hand. Yielding to her ravenous, intense mouth. The ache between her legs raging and growing. Raging and growing and raw, as they rocked together. Breathed together. Tumbled over the cliff together.

In a crash of ecstasy, she cried out her pleasure into Alex. Pulling her hard against herself. Letting her ground her, fly her up, take her, own her.

Which was why she felt blind-sided that night, when they got home. When, as soon as the security system was armed, Alex pounced on her. With angry, starving passion.

“Sweetheart, not that I mind, but what’s gotten into you?” The brunette asked in between kisses, while attempting to undress her lover.

“All I want to hear from you is how good it is, how much you want it and need it.” Alex ordered gruffly as she stripped Olivia. “And I’d better get feedback from Mrs. R on how loud you scream my name.”

For the rest of the night and into the wee hours of the morning, Olivia did what she was told. All Alex heard was series of Aaahh’s and Yeesss’s and Oh god Alex’s mixed in with Don’t stop’s, So good’s, and unintelligible screams of pleasure…

Finally, the blonde gave into her exhaustion, stopped, and rolled onto her back. Furious at her inability to maintain her domination over her lover, she wiped away the tears that came unbidden. Angry tears. Bitter tears. Fearful tears. Mostly, tears from the pain in her heart.

“Please Alex, don’t shut me out.” She ignored the command, and pulled her lover into her arms. “I know why you’re mad.”

Holding herself stiffly, Alex asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice, “What gave you that idea?”

Gently massaging the rigid muscles, and trying to get her lover to relax, the brunette revealed, “You weren’t the only green-eyed monster. I was jealous, too.”

“Nothing. I just thought he was one of your ex-lovers.” Olivia explained, then added without thinking, “he was certainly your type.”

“I was sixteen when I knew him. We weren’t anything.” Alex fought back. “And just what is my type?”

Oh, I don’t know, as special moments go, it wasn’t a really great one. Certainly nothing to write home about. Too bad the nuns didn’t think so. “I didn’t mean it like that.” The brunette said, the bitterness in her lover’s voice completely lost on her.

“You didn’t seem so sorry last night. I thought I was going to have to book you two a room.”

“Pod person? The whole time I was thinking about shoving his ass full of sharp objects, and feeding his balls to the fishies.”

Fishies? Alex snickered. Trying so hard to stay angry, she argued, “You had a funny way of showing it.“

“I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of your staff by making an ass out of myself. Wouldn’t be good for your first office outing.” Olivia reassured, then imitated Dana Carvey’s George Bush, “Wouldn’t be prudent.”

In spite of herself, the blonde got the giggles. Turning around and pounding her lover on the chest, she groused, “I hate you.”

Giving Alex her most pathetic you-left-me-out-in-the-cold-rain-lost-wet-drowned-puppy-look, she asked, “You don’t mean that… Do you?” Bad evil owner.

Holding her sides, she wheezed in between fits of laughter, “You realize I’m just punchy from fatigue.”

Not that I dared complain. Then again, what was there to complain about? “You did all the work. I just had to lay on the cold floor and enjoy it. And the floor isn’t so cold anymore.”

Burying her head against Olivia’s shoulder, and in a small voice, she said, “You needed to learn who you belonged to.”

“I’ve been yours from the moment you walked into my life,” the brunette promised, and kissed her lover gently on the lips.

“You have to do all the work,” Alex smiled shyly, fidgeting with Olivia’s necklace. “All I have to do is lay here and enjoy it.”

“Oh, that can be easily arranged.” Scooping Alex up in her arms, she carried her into their bedroom, and laid her gently on their bed.

This time, it was soft noises of Oh god Liv’s, Yes’s, More’s, Please Liv’s, and I love you’s… and heartfelt tender sweet words of affection, commitment and devotion.

The blonde stretched her muscles against the delicious weight on her, and smiled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Oh, Geoffrey is okay. I’m sure he won’t tell anyone.” Besides, it wasn’t Alex Cabot he made out, she concluded in her mind.

Sensing the uncertainty in her lover’s voice, Alex offered, “If you’re going to ask about lunch, the answer is still no.”

“Oh. Anyway, it’s not about lunch. You can pick. And I’ll even cook.” Olivia finished quickly.

“Tell me about Jeanette.” The brunette tried to make her voice even, so she wouldn’t sound so insecure. In the end, she failed miserably.

Letting out a soft drawn out breath, Alex stared up to the ceiling. Oh. That. “I was hoping you’d forget.”

“Just because…” Alex sighed again. “I did something really stupid when I was almost 17. Really, really stupid.”

“I’m not sure seducing my mother’s boyfriend was taking control of a situation.” The brunette argued. “He might have been her one chance of happiness.”

“You said he wouldn’t have left his wife. And that eventually he would have tried something with you.”

“Nevertheless, it was a good learning experience.” She pressed the tip of her tongue against her lover’s arm. “And, this is not about me.”

Stilling her Olivia’s teasing motions, and shivering a little, then closing her eyes, Alex asked, “Remember Sister Mary Kaitlyn Kilgarten?”

“Kind of hard to forget...” Such a young and beautiful nun, she remembered thinking then. “I’m so used to ruler cracking crones.” Olivia explained sincerely. “She also seemed to care so much about the women at her shelter.”

“Oh?” Taken aback by the gravity in her lover’s voice, the brunette speculated, “You got that from the interview? Or did you go back and talk to her?”

“No. She and Lisette and Jeanette, they all went to prep school together, and partied together.” Alex responded quietly, drawing the sentence fragments out slowly. “She was jumped, one night, leaving a club.”

“Ling went with me.” She paused. Took a deep breath. Then revealed, “After my grandfather died, I went through a rebellious phase.”

What? You put your hair in pigtails rather than braids? “Your definition of rebellious or mine?”

Stroking her lover’s sides, Olivia comforted. “Been there, done that. Is that’s why he called you Jeanette?”

Easy to remember if caught. Yep. The brunette smiled lightly, recalling those days of her youth with a tinge of sadness. Great minds think alike, she decided. Kissed the top of her lover’s head, and let the present brighten her mood. “So what happened?”

“The boys who raped Mary Kaitlyn got slapped on the wrists. They were drunk. They were young. And they were well-connected.” Alex digressed, her voice taking on the cold, clipped upper-crust tone she used when things really troubled her. “Lambert actually defended one of them.”

“No. And I didn’t start clerking for them back then.” She laced her fingers with Olivia’s and rested their hands on the small of the brunette’s back. “I didn’t work that summer actually. You know, summer before college. The last hurrah and all.”

Olivia felt the slender fingers slip away, and held onto her lover’s hand. Her mind refused to make the connection. “Oh?”

Confronted by suddenly clear images in her mind, Alex shuddered. When Olivia tried to move up, to surround her trembling body with her warmth, she stopped the movement. It’s all right, I’m okay, she lied soundlessly. “When Jeanette saw what happened to the girl, she realized it was all her fault.”

“But it really wasn’t your, I mean, Jeanette’s fault. She didn’t rape Mary Kaitlyn.” The brunette argued.

Clamping down the ‘I’m glad it wasn’t you’ that crept up, Olivia asked, “Is that why you took the cases you lost so personal?” Only to have the horrible thought replaced by an equally horrifying image. Stop it, Benson. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Feeling the death-hold, and sensing the turmoil in her lover, Alex collected her own emotions. “At least partly, I’m sure.”

“I would have been very happy with major crimes or homicide.” The blonde admitted, then looked down at the dark head against her chest. Running her fingers gently through the short tousled locks, she added softly. “Well, mostly.”

“I wanted that job mostly to be near you. When Hank told me he was going to LA, I was ecstatic. I was sad, too, and I was sad for you, but it also meant I had a shot at it. And actually I got it.” The blonde revealed. Then the smile in her voice faded once more. “I didn’t because I didn’t know if I could handle it. If I could spend everyday confronted by what I did. Or what I didn’t do.” She sighed loudly. “Or what I ended up vicariously doing, all over again.” And again.

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened to your friend, or any of the victims you couldn’t save. You didn’t commit the crime.” You also didn’t put any innocent people in the system to be raped. Olivia thought to herself.

“I put them at risk. I should have known.” Why was she beating herself up all over again? Hadn’t she done enough of that already?

“You can’t save everyone.” The brunette tried to shift again, to wrap herself around her lover. This time, Alex let her. “That’s what you tell me.”

“You were only a kid then. Even if you were older, it still wouldn’t have been your fault.” Placing a series of small kisses on the back of Alex’s shoulders, Olivia waited. When the body in her arms refused to relax, she reminded. “Didn’t you use that argument on more than one occasion, and convinced many reasonable jurors?”

“Only when we interviewed her. I was so afraid she would recognize me. But I guess I was a different person then.”

“Do you want me to go talk to her again? Maybe I could find out…” If she blamed you. “Or…” What? She really didn’t know. But she felt she should give Alex an option.

“It’s all right.” I’m supposed to have already resolved that a long time ago. “She survived… And I don’t think we should make her relive that again. Anyway,” she willed the tension to go away. “I’m okay now.”

“Why did you want to go to White Raven after the interview?” You never liked clubs… Oh. That must have been the reason… Can’t say I blame you.

“Because you always wanted to go dancing. And it was a gay bar.” The blonde paused briefly, swallowing more images from her youth, and turned around to face her lover. “And I missed it sometimes… I’m sorry that night was a bust for you.”

“It’s okay.” Olivia pressed their foreheads together, and smiled. “I got to sit around with you in my arms. Did wonders for my ego.”

“And you keep borrowing my hats.” She held on to Alex’s hands, and pressed her lips softly to each knuckle. “Why have you been telling me you suck at dancing?”

“And so I’d learn social dance for you?” Tenderly, she painted kisses across her lover’s fair features. Until she drew a smile from the full lips. “And let you lead?”

Chuckling, at her lover’s response, Alex asked, “If you’re not working Friday, you wanna give White Raven another go?”

“I’m glad you took the job.” She placed a kiss on Alex’s lips, and shared her growing smile. “And I chance on me.”