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The Magic Biscuit Theory

Presented by the Barken Commission

The 26th Dog, Chairman

Last Meeting March 13, 2002

This Commission has always had certain questions about both the "Road Rovers" and "Spydogs", particularly the "Rovers". The five main points that it is believed support cooperation between the two on some level are to follow. Please note that this is only one of many ways to interpret these points. In fact, the Committee rejected at least one feasible alternate explanation as being too Springeresque (the talk show, not the spaniel breed). The Committee views this as being a possible answer, but definitely not the only one, to these questions.

1. Confuseus. This aptly named character has done exactly that. Appearing in the third "Road Rover" episode, "A Hair of the Dog That Bit You", he is a talking dog, NOT a Cano-Mutant. This raises the question to the Commission of how exactly did the Road Rovers know about him, referring to him as the "wise dog of the mountain". Perhaps more importantly, when did they find out about him?

2.Recruitment. The obvious issue here is where Professor Sheppard found those promising candidates. The computer files on Hunter, Colleen, Blitz, Exile, and Shag had to come from somewhere, right? One could make the assumption that if they were all purebred dogs, their respective country's kennel clubs would have some information on them, but that wouldn't explain Hunter. If these are govermental files, somebody has way, way too much time on their hands. The Commission mildly suggests that these people begin collecting an increased tax on all television networks not currently showing cartoons with dogs in them as a effective way to deal with this idleness.

3. Who knew what, and when did they know it? In the first episode of "Road Rovers", the Master knew the names and special abilities of the Road Rovers before they were mentioned or demonstrated elsewhere. None of this information is visible on the computer files (see point 2). How did he know these things, and who told him this? Were the Road Rovers previously mutated, one would assume that the Master would not have made the statement that "The time has come" and that the Road Rovers themselves would have expressed such surprise at being transdogmified.

4. Mission Control. Again referring to the first episode, the Commission has trouble understanding exactly how a destroyed scientific laboratory could be transformed into a state of the art military base within a year. Someone had to help the Master. ( Please note that the Commission has not overlooked Professor Hubert) It's highly doubtful that any government would give money to a man who is presumed dead. The question remains of where all of that equipment came from.

5. From the other end of the equation. All dogs are by definition Spydogs. There would be very little chance that 1 dog could disappear without the other Spydogs in the area learning about it. let alone six (and that's only the first six.) This information would be reported immediately to Dog-Zero. Logically, then, with six of his operatives vanishing from their native areas, Dog -Zero would have taken some action unless it was known what was going on beforehand. Connecting this to point 2 above, if Professor Sheppard received no outside help at all, wouldn't this have limited his ability to select dogs from around the world?

Preliminary Findings of the Commission

Based on these points, the following theory has been developed:

In October 1978, a genetics student at Harvard gave a speech to the scientific community concerning the possibility of mutating canines to better serve mankind. Unfortunately, another event taking place in Boston that month Dented the publicity this speech received, at least among humans. This information fell into the paws of high ranking Spydogs. While it was determined that the project wasn't feasible at the time, it was tucked away in the archives of that organization, along with the name of the student. Bill Sheppard.

Fast forward to the mid- 1990's. Technologic advances have allowed Professor William Sheppard to begin construction of his experimental device known as a transdogmifier. He can not afford to do this on his own and is having trouble getting government grants (his assisstant, Jeffery Otitus, not withstanding). The project is in serious danger of being scrapped.

Thankfully, a loyal friend of Professor Sheppard, his dog Scout, explained the situation to his leader, Dog-Zero. Seeing how this could be beneficial to the canine species, permission was given to Scout to notify Professor Sheppard that he would receive any amount of help necessary to continue his experiments if he could keep a tiny little secret. After the Professor got over his initial shock, he asked for a volunteer to help perfect the device. This candidate, a scientist by trade, handed his laboratory to his able Scottish assissant and reported to Sheppard Labs. The transdogmification process worked, and together Professors Sheppard and Hubert began to look at canines that had been suggested by the Spydogs.

Of these, five were selected. These dogs were separately being given specialized training by the senior members of the Spydogs when terrorists attacked and destroyed Sheppard Labs and dognapped Scout. The five dogs were sent back to their duties within the Spydog community.After Professor Sheppard had, with Spydog assistance, finished construction of Mission Control, the candidates were brought together as the Road Rovers. Just as their physical forms had been changed by the transdogmification process, their minds (particularly the long- term memory areas) were affected. Additionally, all Spydogs were forbidden from speaking to any Road Rover operative. This second rule would be relaxed in certain cases once the Road Rovers proved themselves to be a viable force.

Materially, the current belief of the Committee is that the Spydogs provided at least the start-up equipment to the Rovers. Professor Hubert then used this technology together with his own expertise to outfit Sheppard's canines with whatever they would need on thier missions.

This is presented only as a theory, of course, and as such will remain as a work in progress. We will just have to wait for more seasons of these two shows to air. For those of you who don't think anything like this could happen, I conclude this page with a quote from an eminent philosopher with a really cool nickname and a fairly good right arm:

"There is one word in America that says it all, and that one word is 'You never know.' " - Joaquin "The Dog" Andujar

To read an attempt to put this theory in practice, go to Stories by The 26th Dog

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