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I received this email from my closest and dearest friend. It moved me to know that someone actually cared enough to try to understand who I am and why I am the way that I am. We have had a tumultuous relationship in the past. For once though, I am looking to the future.
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My Dearest Friend and Lover, |
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I have read your journals before, in fact several times. I just read them again. It seems as though when I read them, it shows me something different each time. Today it was the journal from 2002. When your baby girl would have been ten. It made me cry. To read about the moment when you held her for the last time invokes something inside of me. I can feel just a glimpse of what that pain might have felt like. But I pictured you holding her and it's as if I could actually see you there. I closed my eyes and I could see her eyes and feel a part of you go with her. Your words are so powerful. It showed me how much you loved her and how deep you pain is. I know that I may never understand but I want you to know that I will always be here for you if you need me. I will continue to keep trying to understand. I am glad that you choose not to forget her. But also remember to live and be happy. You are such a special man and you deserve to be happy. Choose Life! Live for the other wonderful daughter that you have. You are lucky to have her. |
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Ed, I love you more than ever. I am sorry that I was so insensitve. I wish I was there to hold you in my arms but please know that I am holding you in my heart, now and always. I am sorry that you are hurting. |
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I know that I am not good at writing, so if anything upset you, please let me know so that I explain it. |
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All my love, |
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Stacey |
My Love, you are a far better poet than I. Thank you for just being there, even if all these miles do come between us. Reading your mail actually made me cry, not because of the time of year or even specifically what you said, Rather, it is because I know it came from the heart. I have not allowed myself to be loved in a very long time. I am a difficult person to love. Over the years, I have forgotten what it is like to have someone be here for me. I hope I can return the favor in kind. Like the others that have touched my soul, you will always have my heart. Thank you for touching me.
Edward E. Backstrom
01-18-06