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Song of Heaven Part 3                        Fireworks!

Yours, O Lord, God of Israel our father,
are grandeur and power, majesty, splendor and Glory!

1 Chronicles 29:11   

Despite my desire to draw closer to God, my family and I were not regularly attending a church just then. I still felt uncomfortable around "normal" people who appeared to be living "normal" lives. And no matter where we attended services, it seemed that there was never a place where people behaved as they should. Christians should be, well.... perfect! Although I couldn't be so honest with myself, what my heart longed for was a congregation who all imitated Christ and would accept me in my imperfection.  

Early in the summer of 1991, my friend Diane gave me a little tabloid newspaper. It was published by a journalist in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and consisted of a series of columns compiled into one paper. This journalist, Wayne Weible, was a Lutheran who wrote these columns as a nice diversion for the Christmas season one year. The story was about alleged apparitions of Mary, the Mother of God, to six children in Yugoslavia. She had supposedly been appearing to them daily since June of 1981. Mr. Weible, being Lutheran, didn't know anything about apparitions or even the Blessed Mother for that matter, but thought it sounded nice for Christmas. The story was so popular and demand was so great that eventually the tabloid with the full story was published.

Unfortunately, it all sounded so "Catholic" to me, and the paper had that "tacky Catholic" appearance and I didn't read it. Besides, Mary was supposed to be appearing for ALL people and yet she was asking everyone to pray the rosary! Why would we want to pray that mindless Catholic prayer, I wondered? In my completely unexposed and uneducated opinion, I thought Catholicism was the religion for peasants of days gone by and had long since outlived its usefulness.

Diane gave me a nicely bound and comfortably ordinary looking book about a month later. It was written by the same Wayne Weible and entitled "Medjugorje, The Message". Since writing the first columns, he had traveled to Medjugorje, Yugoslavia . The result was this book about the alleged apparitions and his own involvement in the story. There was a very pretty photograph of Mary on the cover. Millions of pilgrims were journeying to Medjugorje and some took their film home and came up with very interesting photographs! Of course, I still did not read it.

Later in the summer Diane asked me if I had read the book, and she seemed disappointed when I said no. Then she asked if I would like to go to a "Marian Conference" with her in early September. One of the visionaries was going to attend. I was evasive about the conference and thought the book would be easier! So finally I began to read it.

Within the pages of Weible's book unfolded a world I had never known. This world was like stories in the Bible! God was manifesting Himself in a mysterious way just as He had to the prophets and apostles long ago. Ever since a small child I had dreamed of living in that world, to be one of the children who were blessed to sit on Jesus' lap. But it seemed to me when Jesus rose to heaven after the resurrection, He took all the power and glory of God with Him! My heart was full of joy and excitement and a kind of expectation beyond my comprehension.

Mr. Weible also helped me in that he wrote about his own struggles to understand the "Catholic things" that most non-Catholics do not comprehend. Especially the role of the Blessed Mother and the prayers of the rosary.

One breezy, beautiful August day, my husband Bob and I sat outside under our immense old maple tree. Awkwardly, I tried to explain to him that through the book "Medjugorje, The Message", my life was changing. Something was going on in the very depths of my being yet there were no words to express it. I cried tears of joy, and was somewhat embarrassed. Then apologized to him, surely my words sounded deluded! But Bob listened kindly and respectfully and was very supportive.

Much to Diane's surprise, I decided to go with her to the conference in Saint Joseph, Missouri, in September. She told me that her prayer group had been invited up a day early, on Thursday the 5th. There was to be a mass and dinner and guests would have the opportunity to meet the visionary and some of the other conference speakers. What an adventure!

When the 5th arrived we traveled to Saint Joseph, checked into our hotel and found our way to the Church. I was rather lost during the mass but it didn't seem to matter. At dinner everyone was so friendly and happy and we felt right at home. Afterwards Ivan, the visionary, went upstairs into the sanctuary for his nightly apparition with the Blessed Mother. During the apparition a small girl came up to us and said in calm, sweet little voice, "The sun is spinning outside". We had read about the Miracle of the Sun that occurs in Medjugorje so a large group of us hurried outside.

It was true! The sun lowering in the western sky was like nothing I had ever seen before! There was a blue disk shape spinning round and round in the sun itself, and there was a brilliant pinwheel made up of all the colors of the rainbow spinning off from the edges! The sun seemed to be dancing for us! We were all in amazement and laughter and tears to see such a sight! A few cars drove by and people gawked at us as if we were mad. Maybe it was like that at the first Pentecost, when bystanders thought the apostles were drunk when they were so full of the Holy Spirit! In the midst of such blessing and joy, it hardly mattered what anyone thought of us. Immersed in His love, we are truly free!

Later in the evening as we gathered again in Church and Donna Lee, a singer from California, sang "Mother Mary, Queen of Peace". Queen of Peace is the title by which she has made herself known in Medjugorje. The words began: "I can see them now, on the mountain, and even though my eyes can't see my heart knows very well that she is calling me. Mother Mary, please speak to me, and tell me what you want of me..." These words expressed the desire that was forming in my own heart. What did she want? Why was someone like me being blessed to be part of all this?

On Friday the conference began. The weather was hot and humid and it was even hotter inside the convention center. The air conditioner was not functioning, and it did not work the entire weekend. This physical discomfort did not overcome our spirits, however. We laughed and cried with many witnesses who gave testimony to the power and love of the living God! We prayed together and celebrated mass together.

Something happened to me over that weekend. All the "silly" things that Catholics do, like pray the rosary, sing with processions of statues of Jesus and Mary and more.... all these things became so dear to my heart! Once I had mocked them, knowing nothing about them - not knowing the rosary was a deeply prayerful meditation on the life of Christ and the Holy Family, - not knowing statues are like photographs of loved ones we long to see again. It was as if Wisdom Herself was poured into my heart and everything became clear.

During the entire conference there were two prayers constantly in my heart. "God, please help me find a church home where I belong." The other was, "Lord, wash me and make me brand new." I didn't even understand the words of the second prayer, yet it was continually in my heart and on my lips.

On Saturday I left the building during mass. For some reason I wanted so very much to participate in communion. It had always been very special to me in the Lutheran Church, but this was a longing in my heart that was a physical ache. I didn't know why non-Catholics should not receive the bread and wine and I cried and cried outside the hall. I was not even upset with the "rule" itself, only in pain at the loss.

Later in the day there were more wonderful speakers and singers and I was able to again enjoy all that was taking place. It was beautiful to be with so many people who all loved God!

Sunday, September 8, 1991, was the Feast of the Nativity of Mary. We were very happy with all we had heard and learned and shared. Yet it did not occur to me to become Catholic. After all, Our Lady was supposed to be appearing and speaking for all people of the world. She was asking us to turn back to her Son, to put God first in our lives. "Peace, prayer, penance, faith, fasting, and conversion" was the basic message of Medjugorje. Who can find fault with this message?

Just before the final mass of the weekend we were sitting quietly in our seats.  Suddenly a voice spoke to my heart, the way I heard Jesus speak to my heart. And although it was not audible, it was distinguishable as female. This was a shock to me! And she invited me to become a part of her Son's Church. I silently agreed to check into Diane's parish sometime. Yet she was urgent, and asked again. She then told me something which I had mysteriously known my entire life, since earliest memory. Intuitively I said "yes". If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this moment was like a thousand pictures. Yes, even though the Catholic Church was the last place on earth I ever expected to worship God, now there was no other consideration. We then celebrated mass together, thousands of us, and it had an entirely new meaning for me. A beauty never before seen from the eyes of pride and prejudice. Afterwards, the same female "voice" said, "Welcome, my daughter."  

Diane and I rode home listening to tapes of Donna Lee, softly reminiscing of beautiful moments of the past four days. I longed to tell her what had happened. But it was too significant to even mention yet. Too profound. For the first time in my life I asked God to give me some kind of confirmation that this was truly His will. That He wanted me to become a member of the Catholic Church.

When we finally reached Diane's place Bob picked me up and we headed home. As he turned south on the highway I looked wistfully to the west, remembering the incredible dancing sun we had seen just three days earlier. Here was another great shock! The sky was breathtakingly beautiful! At least half way up from the horizon it was a deep and perfectly solid fiery orange-red! And across the entire red sky was an immense golden crown! Brilliant and glowing and majestic! And there was one cloud to be found in the sky, just above us. It was an exquisitely formed angel kneeling in prayer.

I was hoping for perhaps a scripture passage for confirmation of His desire for my life. Instead, God lit up the heavens! There could be no mistaking His answer!



Psalm 63:1-4     NAB

Oh God, you are my God whom I seek. For you my flesh pines and my soul thirsts, like the earth, parched, lifeless and without water. Thus have I gazed upon you in the sanctuary to see your power and your glory. Your kindness is a greater gift than life, with my lips I shall glorify you!        

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Copyright 1998
Elizabeth Ann Stevens, OCDS
elijahes@aol.com

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