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Song of Heaven Part 6                        Home at Last!

Oh my God, You have surpassed all my expectations.

 St. Therese of Lisieux

In the spring came Holy Week, the time when almost everyone in my RCIA class but me would be confirmed and receive the Eucharist. This was a difficult time but love sacrifices and finds patience. Happily the priest who had given the mission in January was returning to give a mission in another town in our diocese. Friends and I would be celebrating Easter with him and attending the mission.

During the mission I was able to sing and play the guitar which was really a gift for me. Bob and I had sung in a quartet with another couple before my journey into the Church began. We sang at services in small, country churches when the pastor was gone. We even sang at a few bluegrass festivals during the gospel segments on Sunday mornings. So it was wonderful to be back singing in a church. On the last night Bob and Seth even came along, and Bob sang duets with me.

After the service the priest prayed over all three of us together, and it had a mysteriously profound impact on both of them. It was as if they were given the same kind of grace I had been given the weekend of the conference and they were deeply affected. Bob began to read more and more of the books about the Church that were filling our home.

One day during that week I met the visiting priest at our parish to chat. While waiting for him to arrive I was sitting in a pew and looking up at the crucifix. It is one of the most beautiful I've ever seen, and this image of Jesus was what sustained me through many, many Eucharists. While gazing quietly upon His image, He suddenly spoke to my heart and said, "If you keep your eyes on Me, Elizabeth, you can walk on water." At that very moment the priest sat down next to me and said, "If you keep your eyes on Him, Elizabeth, you can walk on water."

This is true for everyone. When we focus our attention on Jesus, we do not see and fear all the obstacles. With Him, all things are possible.

Over the next few months Bob went with me to two different Catholic conferences and we learned more and more about the Church and Truth. It was a blessing to be with so many people all sharing His love. It helped Bob to hear qualified teachers rather than just his enthusiastic wife!

The weekend we were at a conference in Des Moines, Iowa, soldiers were attempting to cross a bridge into Medjugorje, Yugoslavia (now Bosnia-Hercegovina). It was interesting that while war raged all around Medjugorje, no one was ever harmed there. And pilgrims never ceased to visit. There are countless miraculous stories of how God spared this special haven. Many gifts were bestowed on those who made the journey to the tiny, rugged peasant village.

In August, Bob and I heard Kim Hahn speak. She went through great struggles in her marriage to Scott. He was an "anti-Catholic" Presbyterian minister who came to the conclusion, through scripture study and the writings of the earliest Christians, that he could not remain outside the Catholic Church. This was a great turn-around for one who had spent time during his college years talking young Catholics into leaving the Church. He had to give up his job as a pastor and many of their friends turned away. Kim's family was full of Presbyterian ministers, from her father, to uncles and even brothers. Despite her own misgivings, she opened her heart and began to study with Scott and finally decided that she, too, must become a member of the Catholic Church.

It was ironic that Kim had contacted many of Scott's seminary friends who also were deep into scripture study to try to "save" him. As it turned out, many of them have since given up their own lives as protestant pastors and come into the Church with their families. These are some of the most gifted and powerful speakers and teachers in the Church in America today. Each one had to battle through their pride and prejudice against the Church before being open to the Truth.

Kim answered many of Bob's last questions, and a few days later he told me quietly that he was going to RCIA classes when they began in September. Of course I tried to very casually and nonchalantly say, "Ok, honey, that would be nice..." while inside I was bursting! He went to classes all fall and into winter and knew that he, too, would enter the Church.

The Rite of Welcome for Bob's class was to be held on January 17,1993. At this rite a commitment is made to become a member of the Church. The time between the Rite of Welcome and Easter is then spent in preparation for the Sacraments, Baptism for some, and Reconciliation, Confirmation and the Eucharist for all.

On January 15, I received a letter from the Tribunal stating that the annulment process was complete and I was free to pursue Confirmation, too! This was such a great gift, because as Bob went through his rite the following Sunday, I knew for certain that we would be confirmed together.

In February came the rite in which everyone preparing for Confirmation meets the Bishop at the cathedral of the diocese. It is called the Rite of Election for the unbaptized, and the Call to Continuing Conversion for those already baptized. It was a significant day for me because this was the first step I was unable to take with my own class a year earlier. It was awesome to stand with Diane, my sponsor, and finally declare my intentions to become a member of the Church! And when we stood up the sunlight hitting the skylight of the glass spire overhead cast down a brilliant golden glow upon us! It was like a ray straight from heaven! Looking up at the spire after being seated again, the reflection of the sun became visible and it danced just as it had that September evening in Saint Joseph!

It was amazing how many people were at the Cathedral in preparation to become Catholic! There were over four hundred in preparation just in our diocese. We weren't the only ones who had discovered this treasure!

It was a blessing to go with Bob to RCIA classes after going alone for so long. What a gift to share with your spouse. We also met with Father Dan, the assistant pastor at our parish, for marriage counseling for our sacramental marriage in the Church. We were delighted to find how well we really knew each other, and happy to learn even more through the process.


April and the Triduum finally arrived. Holy Thursday, with the celebration of the institution of the Eucharist at the Last Supper; Good Friday, with the observance of the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ; and Holy Saturday, a day spent in reflection before the Resurrection. The Easter Vigil, celebrated late Saturday evening, is the anticipation and arrival of the Resurrected Christ. At this liturgy our class would celebrate the Sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist!

Holy Thursday there were people who had their feet washed at mass, just as Jesus had washed the feet of the Apostles. Afterwards, there was a procession to a small chapel as all the consecrated Hosts were removed from the Tabernacle in the Sanctuary.

On Good Friday, when Father Dan processed in with the Deacon, they prostrated themselves before the altar. I had never seen such a humble act as this in Church before and it was startling and moving. Father Dan seemed especially intense that day. Later we learned that during the night he had surprised a burglar in the Church office and his life was threatened! He was bruised and shaken, but alive and able to celebrate the Triduum with us. It was difficult to imagine what the weekend would have been like without him, after two years as my advocate, marriage counselor and priest.

We had a class retreat Saturday morning for final preparation. It was an emotional time, we had been together for months and were sharing something so important. Then we went into the Church to get final instructions for who stands where and when. We laughed nervously watching our dear Sister attempt to herd about 48 people to their places!  

Despite the long wait for this day, I was not excited, but very peaceful. Arriving at Church that evening for the Vigil, the peace unfolded into a quiet joy. We gathered with all the other confirmands and took our seats in the school gym for the first part of the Liturgy. There we heard the readings of Genesis, Exodus, Isaiah and more. They seemed to paint before my eyes a vision of God in His timelessness. It allowed me to see myself as a part of a beautiful "dance of the ages", the story woven by God's promise in the beginning - His continual care and mercy and fidelity throughout time - and mysteriously gave the understanding that we are all genuinely bound together as His adopted sons and daughters - from those who went long before us to those who will follow after. All who know and love Him are truly one body dancing in the rhythm of His Heart, the Song of Heaven.

 Ephesians 4:5-6   NAB

 "There is one Lord, one faith, and one baptism, there is one God who is Father of all." 
                   

The entire congregation moved outside to the front of the Church for the lighting of the New Fire. The fire symbolizes the Resurrection of the Light of the World from the tomb. Everyone but the confirmands received a candle, we would receive ours later, and we processed into Church. It had been dark, but hundreds of candles brought forth a glorious light!

First were the baptisms of some in our class, along with the children of some of our group. Afterwards they changed into white robes and the Rite of Confirmation began for all the adults. It was almost unreal to finally reach the moment. As our pastor came to each of us during the rite he had to whisper to me several times to respond "Amen." My gaze was far beyond him and my responses were murmured "thank you'" rather than "Amen." I was lost in my own private world before God, as if was suspended in a vast blue expanse like the sky. All I could do was thank Him over and over again and worship Him in awe.

After long years of praying for a church home, He gave me so much more than I knew to even ask. My search had been for a group of nice people to share with. He gave me the wisdom and vision to see the incredible beauty of His Church, His Law, of obedience and sacrifice, and the joy of bowing down to His will. He led me Home! This Mystical Body of Christ, which is rich enough to sustain us despite the human failings of any individual members, is the only true sanctuary on earth. The only place where we can truly rest. A place where the beauty of life includes and embraces the sufferings and the darkest hours and allows us to understand their purpose in our lives and allow cause to rejoice in them!

We returned to our pews and the Liturgy of the Eucharist began. The newly confirmed were invited up to receive Him first. Here at last, the destination of my journey! I asked the Blessed Mother and many saints to assist me to receive His True Presence in a way that would be pleasing to Him. Who can comprehend the love of Christ who becomes our very food?

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There are no words to describe finally receiving the Eucharist. To be with Him in such a real way was like a loved one returning after a long absence with only letters for communication. Suddenly you see him and hold him and whisper all the little things you can only say to one who is right there beside you.



Song of Songs  2   NAB

12B    For the king's banquet
         my nard gives forth its fragrance.
13     My lover is for me a sachet of myrrh
          to rest in my bosom.

15G   Ah, you are beautiful, my beloved,  
           ah, you are beautiful........
               
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Outside, after mass, our entire class was filled with joy! What a time of jubilation! Again my thoughts were with those at the first Pentecost, so overflowing with His Spirit and love. Father Dan said, "Welcome to the family!" We all hugged and knew we were forever a real family, the adopted children of the Father.


Romans 8:14-17   NAB

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, Abba, "Father!" The Spirit itself bears witness that we are the children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.

The next day, Easter Sunday, we celebrated the Sacrament of Marriage. It was a quiet time and we were physically tired from such a late night after the Vigil, but it was still a very grace-filled event. This sacrament brought us even closer together. It seemed to put more love and respect in our hearts in a mysterious way that is impossible to explain. We were not expecting it, but somehow it did not surprise us.

Now life will go forward and there will continually be challenges to meet and trials to bear, mingled among the joys. God has always given us the grace to overcome difficulties, and now we have the Living Christ in the Eucharist to nourish and sustain us. The Sacrament of Reconciliation, "confession," to cleanse and renew us.

My prayer is that we may always allow His Light to shine through us and our lives, that others might see through the darkness to find their way Home.

Elizabeth Ann Stevens
Easter, 1993

In the stillness of night the

Song of Heaven

is heard by those who love Him.

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Copyright 1998
Elizabeth Ann Stevens, OCDS
elijahes@aol.com

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