+ Home + Song of Heaven + Carmel + Library + Tea Room + Photo Album +

The Music Continues Part 8                       A Miracle of Grace

Even when parents divorce, their lives usually remain connected through the lives of their children. After Seth's father and I divorced, it was even worse for me at times, because every time we communicated he was angry. He had never dared to trust me in our marriage after the experiences of his first marriage, and the anger towards his first wife he vented on me was only compounded by our divorce. He also had the demons of 27 months of ground combat in Vietnam chasing after him.

During our marriage I had prayed in desperate hope that God would "heal" this man's heart and all would be well. After divorce I continued to pray for him, even though it was so hard. But it was clear to me that the hatred and pain in my heart could only be removed by God's love.

The hardest thing for me was that Seth regularly spent birthdays and holidays with his father. Of course he needed this. But knowing it was the right thing in no way lessened the emptiness of not sharing so many special moments in his life.

In 1996, when Seth was 16, he spent the entire summer at his father's house. It was only two miles from his electronics job he so dearly loved, and our home was almost 20 miles away. Having an old Z-28 Camaro, which looked great when you squinted but which guzzled gas like a race car, the money he saved was astounding. Yet I missed him terribly, he was too young to "leave home."

In the fall when Seth moved back in he was different. He was very "grown up", too much so for comfort. His friends were often 2 or 3 years older, and many of them were already graduated from high school. In Seth's mind he was one of them, and he really didn't grasp himself to be a "child" who would still be under a parent's authority. Of course this led to problems because he didn't want to accept any restrictions in his life other than his own common sense. And he was almost never rude about it. He would carefully explain to me what he was going to do and why, and if I didn't approve he was sorry, but proceeded anyway.

You may assume this became very frustrating! He was still loving and kind, but simply refused authority.

By winter, I was lost as to what to do. We had always had such a close and very open relationship, and he had always obeyed me.  On the morning of January 1, 1997, Bob and I went to mass for the Feast of the Mother of God. In Church I offered Seth to the Blessed Mother and asked her to care for him because he had grown beyond my limited ability. My own life had really become a mess in young adulthood and I didn't feel "qualified" to lead Seth any longer.

That afternoon Seth, who was again away for the holidays, called and informed me he was moving to his father's house and transferring to the high school there. This news was devastating to me, beyond my comprehension. If I wasn't "qualified" to guide him, then how much less his father! Even though God had healed my heart of our past, I still didn't have confidence in his ability to be a father. Yet there was nothing I could do. My only consolation was that this happened immediately after handing him over to the Mother of God.

The next few months passed, and we had much more snow than normal, which would have been very dangerous had Seth been driving to work from our home. Bob and I both had health problems which made our home a very dull place to others, and certainly would have for Seth. Slowly, my heart dared to hope that God really knew what was going on and Mother Mary was caring for him very tenderly.

In early spring Seth called one day to announce that the counselor at school said he had plenty of credits to graduate. Not only that, he was going to do it! Graduate a year early?! What for! Why don't you take more classes, I begged. He wasn't interested. He wanted to be out on his own for a while and decide what to do with his life. He had a great job where he was appreciated and learning a lot about business and people, and getting to "play" every day with electronics. This is where he wanted to spend his time, not in school.

After being mother for all those years of schooling, he went on through the rituals of graduation photos, ordering cap and gown and the rest WITHOUT ME! These things at least would have helped me grasp that he was really grown up and going out on his own. All I could do was pray and ask Mother Mary to take care of him, to make sure that Seth was on the right journey for himself.

Because there had been too many days of school missed due to snow, the date for graduation was changed. It was moved to June 7, 1997, which was the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary! This was like a warm hug from heaven to help me relax and trust.

One day I got a call from his step-mother, telling me how to go about ordering his portraits. While we were on the phone, which was our first conversation ever, I got up my courage and asked what they were doing for Seth's graduation party. As we spoke I asked if they would consider getting together with my family for one party. She said she would have Seth's father call me, but she thought it was a wonderful idea!

Later in the day Seth's father called and he also thought a party with all Seth's family was a wonderful idea! I was in shock! Even after so many years of praying, this seemed too good to be true!

Next was my parents and family, between all these people there was so much difficult history.  So many offenses given and so many apologies never offered. Yet again to my shock and amazement, everyone was thrilled with the idea! We all wanted to offer this special gift to Seth, whom we love dearly.

So it came about that on June 7, 1997, the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Seth's father's family, including grandparents and cousins were gathered at my parent's home along with all of my family who live in the area. Mother Mary brought us all together as a gift to Seth, and then grace was poured down upon us all. Not only was Seth happier than I had ever seen him, but the love of Christ flowed through every heart gushing over upon every other heart so we were all swimming in an ocean of love and mercy, forgiveness and healing.

We had all hoped to be able to "tolerate" this day as a gift to Seth, but for God this was not enough. He blessed our "sacrifice" in an abundance we would have never dared to hope for! He gave us His heart to love each other. We were freed from a bondage of sin and pain! It was a miracle of grace, a taste of heavenly joy.


If we desire to find true peace and happiness, we must never limit God. We must always remain in prayerful hope that no matter how impossible a situation appears, His love can conquer all.

When we see with His eyes, and love with His heart, we rise above our own limitations.

 | Home | Back | Next |

Copyright 1998
Elizabeth Ann Stevens, OCDS
elijahes@aol.com

May be shared electronically or printed out
for personal use. May not be uploaded to another
site or published in any form without permission
of the author.