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Title: Heroics
Author: Kerri
Season/Category: Missing Scene
from "Fallen." Part Three of the Broken Dreams; Shattered Memories
series.
Season 7
Spoilers: Meridian, Fallen
Pairing/Character: Jonas
Summary: Jonas ponders his place
and his dreams in light of Daniel's return. Scene takes place prior to Jonas
entering the VIP room to discuss his thoughts on Anubis and the tablet with
Daniel.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Stargate,
Stargate SG-1 and all of its characters, titles, names, and back-story are the
property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions, SciFi
Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All other characters, the story idea and the
story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be printed
anywhere without the sole permission of the author. Realize this is for entertainment purposes only; no financial
gain or profit has been gained from this fiction. This story is not meant to be
an infringement on the rights of the above-mentioned establishments
Jonas paused, gazing down the hallway that led to
Daniel Jackson's makeshift room.
Ever since they had found the man on Vis Uban, Jonas
had been itching to talk to him alone.
He had both anticipated and dreaded this moment, knowing that if Daniel
ever returned, it meant more changes in his life.
Until now, he had been comfortable in knowing that
his predecessor was just some form of energy.
As an Ascended being, an evolved life form, he provided some level of
comfort to SG1. They could always
retain the hope they would see him again one day. But for Jonas, it meant
something different. This allowed him the reassurance he needed in such a
difficult position. The distance.
Trying to fill the shoes of such an acclaimed
scientist—at least to the SGC—had proven more than difficult. Doctor Jackson
was well-loved, well-respected, and well-deserving of that attention. He seemed
to have an infectious element to himself, the ability to spark change in people
where there was no hope before.
In truth, he was a catalyst.
Jonas sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Doctor Jackson had sure changed his life. He still
remembered when they first met, how passionate he was. Jonas couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by
his knowledge and his compassion. The
man was brilliant, and he had found himself wanting to spend every minute he
could with the linguist.
That day in the lab…
He still could see it replay in his mind over and
over. The nightmare served as a constant reminder, a weight that was always
present in his mind.
Not only had Doctor Jackson awed him with his
knowledge of ancient cultures from all over the galaxy, he had stunned him with
his sheer determination to help those around him.
The man had given up his life for him. Just like
that. For a complete stranger. For an
entire planet of strangers. He hadn't
even hesitated. One brief moment, and
the deed had been done. Doctor Jackson had successfully disarmed the bomb.
Doctor Jackson had gone in knowing full well what
would happen.
Jonas cast his eyes downward. How can you face a man that would do
something so selfless that no words could really describe it?
How fair was it that Doctor Jackson's tragedy was
his fortune?
Now, it wasn't just death. It was life without memory.
For a man who had a reputation, for a man who had
figured out how to work the Stargate, and how to gate to several worlds…
He's lost the most precious thing. His mind.
Maybe, for someone like Doctor Jackson, that was a
fate worse than death.
The thought saddened Jonas, and he feared he would
never have the lengthy conversations he'd desired with the linguistic
anthropologist and archaeologist. He'd read all his reports, all his
notes. He had only witnessed him
briefly as an Ascended being. Now, having a better understanding of the man,
more so than when they first met, would he be denied the opportunity to debate
with him?
But he would speak with him anyway, even if the man
could offer just fragments. Even just his presence might help Jonas perfect his
ideas about Anubis and the Ancients.
Shifting his weight, Jonas gazed ahead, ignoring the
stares of the SF's that stood in the hallway.
Some of them were relatively new here, just like
him. They probably couldn't understand
the importance of whom SG1 had discovered on Vis Uban.
But he could see the pain evident in all his new companions. Colonel O'Neill happened to fidget more. Major Carter appeared distracted. And Teal'c? His silent gaze never seemed to leave Doctor Jackson.
They all wanted him back.
Yes, Doctor Jackson was a catalyst once again.
If his new ideas concerning Anubis and the tablet
they'd found panned out, then he knew his time here would be limited. He loved the SGC, he loved the people, and
he loved the job.
But he knew, even when he started, this scary change
that had befallen him would change again, and he would need to move on.
Doctor Jackson had altered his life, and it wouldn't
stop now. The change would continue to
ripple outward, and to frighten him, as it did that day he had left the
confines of Kelowna. He knew that even if he tried to stop it, even if he
ignored it, and tried to hide in the comfort of the present, that the future
would snatch him eventually.
He couldn't keep running. And one day, he would have to muster up the nerve to face the
past and the guilt that accompanied it.
Why can't I just say it? he thought to himself. Why can't I just say it to him? Why can't
I tell him I'm sorry?
Sucking in a deep breath, he walked forward, heading
toward the room.
It may not be today, but one day…
One day, he promised, one day when he was stronger,
when he was wiser, and when he was more courageous, he would make it up to
Doctor Jackson for all he had done and sacrificed. He would show the SG1 and the SGC just what kind of hero Jackson
really was.
One day, he would make the people of Kelowna
understand. He would make them all
understand.
And Daniel Jackson would
never be forgotten again.
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go back to Part Two: Unto You This Night--Teal'c
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Part Four: Faceless Presence--Hammond