Prologue & Friday/Early Saturday Morning

Jamelia has to say it. Going to Cleveland, Ohio, was one of the most memorable vacations in her life. Before you look askance, please recall that the vacation was mainly Vulkon Cleveland, a con thrown by Joe Motes. The cons of his that I've attended have all had a nice atmosphere. I didn't find too much hectic scampering around to visit a bunch of rooms packed with dealers and people nattering on about Star Trek, Star Wars, Babylon 5, Battlestar Galactica, Captain Proton, etc.--uh, well, they weren't doing a LOT of taking about Captain Proton then, but that was mainly because the first we really heard about him was in Cleveland.

But, to get back to my point (the word "ambles" in the title, you shall see, is not there accidentally), while it's nice to have a myriad of things to do at a con, it's also nice to just mingle with some like-minded folk, gabbing about all kinds of things, not only science fiction series and movies. Getting a chance to visit, low-key, is essential.

Redshoes and I drove from the Philadelphia area to Cleveland, talking fanfic, forties music, and her Andy (aged 4) and mine (aged 14), who just happen to have their birthdays one day apart (and the day we were traveling to Cleveland was my Andy's). Once we got to Cleveland, we met up with a whole passel of good Internet friends we had never met in person. It was just great, talking to them and visiting with them. Neetz, Tex and her sister LA (Little Attila--and as charming as the woman is, the name does fit), Niomi and her sister Sarah, Fever, Betty, Riss, Maddie, Deb (times 2), Norman, Ann, RosieRita the Margarita Lady, Vicki, Katie2, Sharon, Trisha, George and her mother pjs (she of the doctoral dissertation on the Texture, Quality, and Pattern of Hair Follicle Distribution on the Upper Torso of Blue-eyed, Blond-haired American Television Stars) and a cast of hundreds too numerous to mention now. The brain cells, you know. Please forgive me if I've forgotten any of your names.

One I can't forget, however, is my current cohort Europa (who shall hereafter be referred to as "Mon," which is a shortening of her given name of "Monica" to differentiate her from any other Monicas, particularly that other Monica from DC). I went with her at 4 AM to the airport to pick up Fever, who'd been stranded for hours in Minneapolis by thunderstorms. I tagged along to keep Mon company (read: awake) on the drive to the airport.

At any rate, we all had as wonderful a time meeting each other as we did seeing Robbie McNeill in person. Yes, it's true. The man's gorgeous. Terrific blue eyes, nice bod (he'd been working out religiously after the baby weight gain--and yes, it happens to the daddy's, too, sometimes), great smile, and a wicked sense of humor about the whole con guest business. Another thing that impressed me was that he seemed to be a real straight shooter when it came to answering our questions. I appreciated it tremendously--even if he did say I had a loud and annoying voice. (I was trying to PROJECT, so the man wouldn't have to repeat my question to the masses in the conference hall! However, loud and annoying probably is how I sounded. I know it. I've been told it often enough before.)

<sigh>

Anyway, as a result of that terrific time, I managed to convince myself that I wanted to go to Shore Leave two weeks later, when Robbie would again be appearing, because there were other friends coming there that hadn't made it to Cleveland. Mon was going, too. So I went to Shore Leave and enjoyed that a bunch, too. While we were there, Mon suggested I stay at her house in the D.C. area so I could go to Novacon, where Roxann was appearing in July. I happily took her up on her offer (since paying for any more hotel rooms that summer was out of the question) and we had another blast meeting old and new friends there.

A couple of weeks later, Mon and I just happened to be chatting about cons again, surpisingly enough. It seemed that Robert Beltran was going to be at Vulkon Raleigh at the end of January. Mon had missed the Vulkon Baltimore con at which he'd appeared in March, 1998, because no one else she knew was going to it--Redshoes and I hadn't known her then. Mon said, "Why don't we go see Robert Beltran in Raleigh?"

My response isn't too difficult to guess, I'm sure, since I'm writing this now.

We bought our tickets and talked about going to another con with Robbie McNeill in 1999, too. Just one, though. I'd seen Roxann three times, so seeing Robbie three times seemed fair. When Denver was announced, we registered for that con. Denver meant plane fare, major bucks, so that was probably going to be it for the cons in 1999 for Jamelia. Beltran in January, McNeill in April.

And then Beltran canceled out of Raleigh. There were rumors that Garrett Wang might replace Robert, but then the con website put up the photo of the replacement guest:

Robbie McNeill.

Now, I truly enjoyed the pleasure of Robbie's company at Cleveland and Shore Leave in Baltimore, and I was looking forward to StarCon in Denver, but how was I to tell my long-suffering husband I was going to see him AGAIN in Raleigh?! The same actor 4 times in less than a year? I wasn't sure how I could justify it to myself, let alone Mr. Make-It-So! (a long story, but the short version is he does a mean Patrick Stewart impression, despite having lots more hair on his head and just as much in the upper torso area).

I decided to be smart.

I wouldn't tell my husband until I absolutely had to.

This did disturb my scruples, but I figured, "Hey, Beltran canceled. Maybe Robbie will have to cancel, too. Then I won't ever have to tell him if I don't want to."

As the fates and TPTB would have it, Robbie DID cancel, for a very nice reason. He was getting the opportunity to direct another Voyager episode the same week as the con, so a replacement for the replacement was found. Garrett Wang.

[Jamelia pauses here to do the "Happy, happy, happy it's gonna be Garrett" dance. She was able to tell Mr. Make-It-So the truth because now it was a funny story instead of more evidence that her mind had turned to Robbie-obsessed mush.]

Actually, I really was delighted. I'd been wanting to catch Garrett at a con, and I figured that it might be the closest he'd becoming to me for quite awhile. Of course, now he's coming to Valley Forge in February, which is barely an hour's drive from my house, but hey, I didn't know that then! Besides, I wasn't going to have the money for that anyway, what with going to Denver.

So, armed with my own questions, plus a few from my fellow RIFers ("Resistance Is Futile," the OneList mail list about Harry and Seven), I was ready for the first leg of my journey. I trotted down to D.C. via good old I-95, where Mon and Clara and I met up for our trip to Raleigh. Clara is a student at a D.C. university with whom I'd been chatting online for some time. She needed a ride to the con and a couple of roommates. We were happy to oblige her. We picked her up at her school on Friday morning and started off down the highway.

Now, I must mention here that Auntie Jam was more than willing to be navigator on this trip, being fairly good with a map. Entrance and exit ramps, however, can be tricky, especially on the Virginia side of the Potomac. I figured that Mon, who's lived in DC for many years, and Clara, who's lived there for the last few while at school (except for a hiatus during the last year or so) would know exactly where this one entrance ramp was. They didn't. We missed it.

We ended up driving up the Pentagon's driveway.

Now, one thing you can be sure of when you drive up the Pentagon's driveway: you don't have to worry about a lack of security in the area. There was this really neat guardhouse, and a barred entrance, and no way to back out of the area gracefully without giving an explanation to SOMEBODY.

Fortunately, the guard at the gate was very helpful. After hearing our story (we pretended to be ditzy females, and I'm not sure how much we were pretending at that moment, given the circumstances) and giving us directions to the highway we needed, the guard kindly lifted the gate so we could make a quick circle around it out of the regular Pentagon exit. And we didn't even have any guns trained on us (that we could see).

The rest of the trip down to Raleigh was pretty uneventful. We chatted about lots of things, including place names. One thing I've always enjoyed about car trips is that you can tell a lot about the history of the area you are traveling through from the place names. There were some unique spellings in Virginia, like "Powhite," which I think is an Indian name. And the road names were pretty interesting, too. Where the name Pitch Kettle Road came from isn't hard to figure. We were just about to enter the Tarheel State when we saw that sign, and people used to put pine pitch in kettles.

We all agreed that the best name, however, was Squirrel Level Road. One of the Virginians on the list will need to help us with that one. Is Squirrel Level up high, at treetop level? Or is it low, like the level of a squirrel crossing a road? Or could it possibly have something to do with somebody going a bit nutty, getting "squirrely," and maybe being at "squirrel level"?

Inquiring minds want to know.

But I digress, or maybe I'm off ambling again. Let me get back on topic.

We got to the con hotel in very good time, arriving at about 3:30 P.M. Mon drove all the way. 'Nuff said. After registering and going to our room to unpack, we walked around a bit and ran into Ann, Marianna, and Monica from New York, our "Starmei" Monica. I hadn't met Monica before (actually, I hadn't met Clara before either, but because we'd chatted so much online in an IRC chat room, it was a technicality--I just needed to see what she looked like). Introductions were made all around. As we were talking, Garrett passed us, headed toward the elevators to his room after he'd checked into the hotel. The main guest was definitely here, and on time.

Once we'd registered for the con, too, the six of us decided to go out for dinner. Going back to U.S. Route 1 (all along its length, I've noticed, Route 1 is the "main drag" for restaurants and shopping malls--and Raleigh was no exception), we saw a sign for an Appleby's and decided that would suit us. After a brief stop at a giant pharmacy to pick up various important things, like film, sinus medication, soda, snacks (you know, the necessities of life), etc., we went to Appleby's for a nice getting-acquainted dinner, discussing all kinds of subjects, including rodeos, traveling, and how you can get almost anything delivered in New York City, where Monica lives, while in other areas of the country, if you want a submarine sandwich, say, you have to find a restaurant that's open. They don't call New York City "the city that never sleeps" for no reason.

After a pleasant dinner, we came back to the hotel. Clara had some homework assignments she needed to finish, one of which was reading 170 pages of a history text on Nazi Germany (Let me borrow a phrase from Jim Wright's reviews: "foreshadowing . . . a legitimate literary technique . . . "). It was that or get some shut-eye; she hadn't slept for at least 36 hours (she wasn't admitting to the exact amount, but it was apparently lots more) because a crisis her roommate had been having kept Clara awake all night (It's a long story that even I'm not tempted to tell here). Anyway, Mon and Auntie Jam got motherly, encouraging her either to get some rest or do some homework, clearing the room so she could do either in peace.

Mon and I went downstairs to the con area, meeting up again with Ann, Marianna, and Monica. For a while, we "hung out" in the lobby. Mon ran into Inge Heyer, a data analyst who works for NASA on the Hubble Telescope project. She was appearing at the con. There will be more about Inge later. While Mon was talking to Inge, Marianna, Monica, Ann and I sat down and chatted for a bit about fanfic. In addition to discussing what constitutes good feedback to me, we talked about how long it takes to write stories, what we liked and didn't like about fanfic, and, as I recall, our take on certain fanfic cliches. One thing I distinctly remember discussing was the "where is the tube of lubricant hiding in THIS story" convention in a certain class of relationship stories.

When Mon came back, we decided to stroll around the convention rooms to get a feel for where everything was going to be on the morrow. We ended up in the Dealer's Room, which, while not exactly open, had people in it setting up for Saturday. A guy named Mark who was selling photos said he'd be happy to take our money that night if we wanted to buy anything. Being able to choose pictures without worrying about stepping on anybody else's toes (literally--sometimes it can get crowded at a con) kept us in the Dealer's Room while we chose a few pix. And the five of us were very happy we went photo shopping instead of going back upstairs to our rooms.

Garrett apparently likes to look around the Dealer's Room when it's not crowded, just like us. While we were still circuiting the room, Garrett walked in to check out some of the merchandise. He stopped at a magazine rack, looking for magazines about Japanese animation, as he likes to collect them. A couple of the vendors and the five of us began to chat with Garrett, who very graciously responded, talking a little about how his con presentations are a bit different from other people's--kind of a combination of a Q and A session and a stand-up routine. Speaking about how he talks jumped to talking about his role on Voyager, acting in general, and what's going on in his life--a nice mix.

It was wonderful. We got to see a very relaxed Garrett, not so much "on" as he would be on stage during the next two days. He answered quite a few of our questions during the impromptu chat. Many of the questions were asked again during the convention sessions, so I won't go into those much here. However, a few were not (some for obvious reasons, as you will see). Those I will go into. Ahem.

He mentioned that while his first con was huge (about 5000 people--which he elaborated upon during one of his con sessions), his second only drew about 200 people for both days. It seems that another con had been in the area two weeks before, and as a result, no one turned out for Garrett's appearance. He likes big crowds, he said, because there's an energy from the crowd that he can feel and give back from the stage--like theatre.

Someone asked him about a comment that Kate Mulgrew had made at an appearance, saying she wanted Janeway to get more into "action" bits. Garrett was pretty astounded. Apparently she doesn't talk that way on the set. Roxann is more the action type, although there was a period of adjustment even for her to get into "action hero" mode. When Roxann first came onto the bridge set in "The Caretaker," for instance, she was to go from the upper level to the lower level of the set. Garrett demonstrated how Roxann stormed in, totally in character for B'Elanna, then "tinkerbelled" her way down the steps in a dancer's move (Roxann is a trained dancer and appeared on Broadway in "A Chorus Line" for years) before finishing her lines. The director yelled "cut!" and explained that a Klingon--or even a half-Klingon--wouldn't dance down the steps quite that way. "Oh, no! Of course! You're right!" Garrett said, in a cute-voiced, accurate impression of how Roxann would answer.

He also confirmed the story Roxann tells about how, when she hadn't yet announced her pregnancy to the entire crew, Garrett asked her, "Hey, are you still working out? You're putting on some weight," during the filming of the turbolift scene in "The Year of Hell." He did say that everyone was very confused for a while because sometimes Roxann was very willing to be physical, and sometimes she wasn't. No one realized until later that it had to do with her hiding her pregnancy.

Speaking of weight, Garrett said that Robbie doesn't get a chance to watch many of the episodes when they're aired, since filming and spending time with his kids in the evening take precedence. (Garrett says he watches them all to see how well he's performed.) When Robbie caught himself on film in "Vis a Vis" in Steth's red velour suit, his reaction was, "Oh, man! I've got to lose some weight! I look like a red balloon in that outfit!" Garrett admitted that he had put on a few pounds himself last year. He'd been working on a total remodeling of his house, setting tiles just so into flooring, etc., and other kinds of workouts became infrequent over hiatus. He called the producers and assured him that he was taking care of it as soon as the season started (and he did look terrific, I must add--not an ounce of extra padding that I could see on his frame). I asked him if Robbie's line about having to "get in shape" in Demon was an in joke, and Garrett said it was. "Yeah. The writers put in things like that all the time."

The actors kid around on the set constantly--something we've all heard before, I'm sure. During the filming of one upcoming episode, Robert Beltran "threatened" Roxann with throwing a PADD at her. Without blinking an eye, Roxann shot back, "Go ahead. Your aim isn't that good anyway!" Garrett said that if they just set up cameras to shoot them WHILE they were shooting, they would probably have a number one rated sitcom.

Someone asked him if he wanted Harry Kim to be the "stud" of Voyager. He mentioned an upcoming episode ("Disease") in which Harry has a love affair with an alien. He said he had a nice confrontation scene with Janeway at the end, but of course, he and Janeway could never be paired up. Several of our group said he shouldn't be so sure--that was one of the things that had been discussed as a possibility over dinner.

Now, Auntie Jam must pause in her rendition to catch her breath before this next part. The already-infamous "K-Y Jelly" story is about to be recounted. I want to publicly thank Monica from New York for being such a good sport about this, because the story is really funny. And Auntie Jam must also add that it is totally true. The wording might only be 90% accurate, which is inevitable--even if I'd had a tape recorder for the con itself, I wouldn't have had one along with me in the Dealer's Room--but what happened is as accurate as I can make it. Check with Mon, Ann, Marianna, and Monica herself if you don't believe me!

Monica asked about what the makeup crew used for the green facial growths on Harry in "Scorpion." Garrett replied that they often used food coloring mixed with K-Y Jelly, apparently because it holds up under the intense heat of the lights. Monica, slightly puzzled, asked, "What's that?" Garrett stared at her for a moment while a couple of the dealer's snickered a bit. I whispered to Monica, under my breath, "Lubricant." We'd been talking about it earlier, during our fanfic discussion. I didn't hear, but Mon reports that Garrett replied, finally, "Lube of love."

Monica still hadn't made the connection. "Is it edible?"

Garrett said, "Inadvertently," to lots of laughter. Monica finally got it. Garrett kind of looked at her funny, however, since Monica is an attractive, mature woman whom he must have assumed would know of the substance. He asked her, "Where are you from, anyway?"

When Monica answered, "New York," he really looked stunned. "You don't get out much, do you?" he asked. Monica, along with the rest of us, was laughing hysterically by this time.

Mon observed, "You can get anything delivered in New York," to more laughter. Garrett looked like he wanted to say more then, but Mon started looking at the chandeliers, saying, "Nice chandeliers," and "Don't go there," when everyone promised to get more raucous. Garrett laughingly agreed it was better not to pursue the subject any further.

When we'd all caught our breaths, though, Garrett looked around at us (all adults) and added a postscript. "You know, this is fun. I've always wanted to do an 'R rated' con, but there's always kids around at the sessions, so you really can't. You have to be very careful what you say. This is great."

There were a few other comments made, notably about Garrett's disappointment that his character wasn't originally written into the episode "The Killing Game" when he'd been fascinated by drawing pictures of Allied and German planes and things when he was a kid. He said he begged to be allowed to participate, so they wrote him in. More about that later. This brought to mind the fact that poor Clara was upstairs studying Nazi Germany or sleeping (turned out to be the latter by this time, as we later found out). Had any of us known that Garrett would have been there with us for that long, we would have gotten her. We thought we'd have 5 minutes or so of his time. It turned out to be about an hour and 20 minutes, all told.

All good things come to an end, of course. The Dealer's Room Convention broke up at about quarter after one. Our group went to Marianna's room and crowed for a while about what we'd heard, Auntie Jam frantically recording as much as she could remember about the conversations. (Hey! These con reports are usually written from notes meticulously recorded by your dear old Auntie while the guest is speaking! She doesn't have an eidetic memory like Seven--or much else like Seven, as a matter of fact.)

At 3:00 A.M. we all agreed it was time to take a break for the night, or more properly, the morning, and we all returned to our own rooms.

Mon and I had to break it to Clara that being good and studying (which she'd done for a short while before crashing to sleep) meant she'd missed a very fun time. Clara took it surprisingly well, actually, and said she would try not to hate us forever. I think the rest of the weekend ameliorated the sting. I hope.

As for the rest of the weekend, that will have to wait for the next installment of Auntie Jam's Ambling report.

========================================

Saturday

On Saturday morning we awoke around 7:30 AM, having had about 4 hours of sleep. Mon and Jam had very good intentions of slipping down to the exercise room and pool to get in some workout time before the morning festivities, but our late night Dealer's Room Convention and its aftermath made getting up to work out something to put off until tomorrow. Despite being left out of the previous night's chat with Garrett, Clara was still speaking to us. The three of us went down to Lofton's, the restaurant in the North Raleigh Hilton where we were staying to get some breakfast.

Speaking of breakfast brings to mind a tip we learned from Mon on this trip. Mon has lots of good advice for travelers, having worked in the industry for years. She advises that even though there may be a special con rate at a hotel, sometimes other specials may be worth checking out first. When Mon called to reserve the room, she didn't mention the special con rate of $75. She just asked about special rates. The Hilton was offering a special weekend package for $79 a night that included continental breakfast in the morning--and the rate was good for up to four people in the room. So, in effect, Mon, Clara and I all had continental breakfast for $4 that morning. Can't beat that price, especially since there was cereal, juices, fruit, muffins, croissants, yogurt, and danish available. All you can eat, plus coffee, tea, or milk. Not bad at all.

After breakfast we went to the Dealer's Room again (sans Garrett this time) to buy a few goodies before going to hear Inge Heyer take us on a "tour of the Solar System" and a "tour of the Galaxy." Actual photos from space missions and the Hubble Space Telescope were presented in a slide show, with Inge providing a fascinating commentary. The woman, need I say it, is SMART. She is also warm and personable, great with kids, a born teacher. She'd like to become a mission specialist on a Mars mission, and she says that a manned Mars mission is a real possibility within the next 20 years. (Auntie Jam certainly hopes so, because she'd really like to still be around to see it.) At any rate, her show was a hit with me and with everyone who sat in on it. Joe Motes, the con promoter, is a pretty smart man himself to have Inge make presentations. It doesn't hurt to have some science fact mixed in with your fantasy. Besides, some of her pictures were spectacular. The Eagle Nebula, in particular, was simply beautiful. Some of the photos have been used by special effects people for use on both Babylon 5 and Voyager.

She also gave us insight into why we sometimes perceive allusions to Star Trek, Babylon 5, and other space shows in the names of missions (like "Deep Space One," for instance). Seems that about 75% of the people who work at Jet Propulsion Laboratories, NASA, and the like are sci-fi fans. So we're right. The allusions are there.

[No surprise to Auntie Jamelia, who is about to enter her fifth decade of being a sci-fi fan. She started reading Andre Norton, Isaac Asimov, and Ray Bradbury at the tender age of 12. After she wrote a term paper in 9th grade about the history of the genre entitled: "From Ralph 124C41 to *B.E.M.s--(*Bug-eyed-monsters)--the History of Science Fiction," she received an A- for a "well written report--too bad it was on such an insignificant subject." Needless to say, Auntie Janet graduated from high school LONG before Star Wars or Star Trek made their respective appearances--and that high school teacher was no seer, either.]

Ah well. The old days. They don't make them the way they used to, do they?

Once Inge's talk was over, we wandered over to the autograph room where Jeff Conaway, David Prowse (the body of Darth Vader from Star Wars), Mary Kay Adams (Grilka on DS9) and Dirk Benedict of "The A Team" and "Battlestar Galactica" fame were signing for a cash fee. Jeff was going to be free in the autograph session after his talk, but the other three were signing for a fee for a very good reason: that's how they were remunerated for their appearance. They weren't being paid otherwise. I got Mary Kay's autograph on a picture I bought from her, but I skipped the others. I needed to make sure I had enough money for the whole weekend.

I did hang around Dirk Benedict a while, however, because Ann wanted me to take her picture with him when he signed a book for her. Now, Dirk is not the young guy I remember from "Battlestar Galactica" any more. He's a cancer survivor, and it shows on his face. He's still good looking, but his face looks "lived in," if you know what I mean. When one of the con goers asked him when was the best time of his life, Dirk said, "now." When he was younger he enjoyed life, but raising his sons is more rewarding for him now, by far.

Surviving cancer tends to put things in perspective, Auntie Jamelia believes.

I offered to take the picture of a man with his daughter with Dirk, and I took the picture of Ann with Dirk, too. I didn't hear much more conversation than that, I'm afraid, because the line moved on. Maybe if I go to another con where he's appearing, I'll get his autograph, too.

Anyway, after that, Clara, Mon and I skipped down the road to have lunch. We came back in time for Jeff Conaway's talk. Jeff has been an actor since he was 10. He has Broadway shows, movie roles like Konicky in "Grease," and television roles like Bobby in "Taxi," the lead in "Wizards and Warriors," and "Berringer's" to his credit, as well as days as a rock musician on the same bill as Herman's Hermits and The Animals (antediluvian rock groups--you get a gold star if you know who the lead singer of The Animals was, all you youngsters out there). He admits that leaving "Taxi" was the dumbest career move he ever made.

One of the best, he feels, was taking a three-line role in "Babylon 5" instead of two bigger roles he was offered at the same time. Zack turned out to be a recurring role in the series, which Jeff loved playing--not to mention it being the ticket for him to be doing sci-fi conventions like this one for a long time to come. Job security, in acting, is found in many forms.

Although a promised role in the new series "Crusades" didn't pan out for Jeff, he has just done a movie playing himself and his "Taxi" character in "Man on the Moon," a biopic of Andy Kaufman. Jeff says that sometimes he still wonders if Andy managed to fake his own death, the way he once told Jeff he wanted to do. Jim Carrey plays Kaufman in the movie.

Jeff was very entertaining during his stint on stage. I enjoyed him a lot.

Finally, it was time for Garrett. He bounded up on stage and posed nicely for all three sides of the room so that everyone could get his picture. He even struck a "running man" kind of pose. Then he chatted about his first con appearance, replacing Kate Mulgrew at a con when she had to pull out because of illness. As he's walking up to the stage with a security guard, who's muttering, "ETA 24 seconds---ETA 18 seconds---12 seconds---" etc. through a security microphone device, Garrett asks how long he'll have to talk. Maybe 10, 15 minutes? The answer: "An hour."

Garrett suddenly had the irresistible urge to run to the john ("Abort! Abort! ETA not 12 seconds! Subject has bolted for the bathrooms!"). The guard followed Garrett into the men's room and watched him do what he had to do ("You want to help me, or what?" demanded Garrett). Suitably refreshed, Garrett bounced onstage to talk to what he thought would be a hundred or so people. Five thousand people were staring at him.

Garrett managed to get through that appearance--or should I say, Baptism of Fire.

Garrett was asked when Harry would finally get to be a full lieutenant. He said, "Yeah, he deserves it. He's the first one to die and come back. He's died several times! He deserves to get promoted!" Someone else asked if there's anything else he'd want for Harry besides a promotion. He'd like Harry to be a bit more like Garrett himself, not so serious. "Bride of Chaotica" was good that way, Garrett feels, because the "lighter side" of Harry Kim came out there.

He wouldn't mind a little more romance in Harry's life, either. He's had people walk down the street and yell out at him that he should go after Seven. A Klingon at a con said, "It's not 6, not 8, but 7 of 9!" Garrett yelled back, "Qa'pla my Klingon friend!" He said it's kind of frustrating, because at first, it seemed to him that with Harry and B'Elanna calling each other Starfleet and Maquis, maybe something was going to happen between them, but Tom got her instead. Then Seven came, and something seemed to be happening between her and Harry, but that seems to have dribbled away, too.

However, they've thrown Harry an Alien Babe of the Week bone in "Disease." He gets a chance for "steppin' out" with a woman who gives him a disease (although the title refers as much to the idea that "Love is a disease" as it does to a sickness, according to Garrett). He gets a good "conflict" scene with Janeway, which he acted out, alternating between himself and a screamingly funny (and accurate) Janeway impression: "I know she's from the wrong side of the tracks, Mother, but I wanna keep SEEING her!"

(Prancing around the stage, hand on hips): "No!"

"Aw, mother, I know she has a funny looking forehead, but I want her!"

When everyone managed to catch their breaths, Garrett observed (and demonstrated) that you can always tell what season you're watching from where she put her hands. Behind her back, at her sides, crossed in front of her, etc. And Garrett observed that if network execs can't figure out anything else to tamper with, they insist that Kate's hair has to be perfect. First, the bun of steel! Then the looser, but still tight, bun! The ponytail! The short hair!

(Auntie Jamelia observes that apparently, all UPN network execs have a secret ambition to be hairdressers.)

Later on, he pretended to be Kate, saying she was going to get some clippers and be the first female bald captain. "She'll get some Mr. Clean earrings, wear a muscle shirt, and growl, 'Seven of Nine, let's get down to it!' " The audience howled.

After his Kate impressions, Garrett said, "Kate's going to grab me in the turbolift again. "You did a con? (in Kate voice, again, natch) Did you do my voice again? Did you?" Then he went on, seductively, still in Kate mode, about Janeway and Harry in the turbolift. "It's just you and I all alone in here, isn't it, Ensign? My, you've grown in the last 5 years."

Someone asked Garrett about where all the shuttles are coming from. He said they were in pretty bad shape--jalopies, even. The Voyager crew was like a family of 146, who all have to ask Mama Janeway to borrow the shuttle. Back in Kate voice: "Okay, who knocked off the fender? Mr. Paris, you're an ace pilot! You should know better than that!"

Someone asked him about the rumors about Kate leaving, and Garrett asked to be filled in on the latest. He said that she does want more time off to be with her family, but he hasn't seen her packing. Everyone has a contract signed through the seventh season, according to Garrett.

He visited Kate one Friday night on the set of "Bride of Chaotica" during the throne room scenes, when he wasn't on the set as Buster. She stayed in character as Arachnia, clowning around with him and prancing through the set in her web-collared, spider bedecked costume. "Nice spiders," Garrett commented.

He also admitted to rather enjoying doing the "torture" scene with the Delaney Sisters. (Duh!) He loved the Captain Proton set in general, in fact. Filming in black and white, wearing other costumes instead of the uniforms, was all fun for him (even if the jodhpurs were made for a shorter guy and didn't fit him too well).

Someone asked Garrett if he really played the clarinet, or any other instrument. Whenever Harry has to play the clarinet, Garrett studies with a coach because he wants the fingering to look right, but he doesn't actually study the instrument or play in between. He works to make it look authentic enough so that someone who actually plays the instrument doesn't get distracted by poor technique. Garrett hates it when it's obvious that an actor is "faking" playing an instrument. When he was young, he studied the piano for about two months. His teacher was apparently a Russian emigre who ate Kit-Kat bars constantly and would grab his fingers when he made a mistake to pound out the right keys on the piano by holding onto his hands. That he lasted two months as her student before rebelling is amazing.

The episode, "The Killing Game," came up, as it had in our impromptu session in the Dealer's Room. He said he was so excited when he got the script and saw that it had a World War II setting. When Garrett was a kid, he loved drawing pictures of English, US and Nazi planes and tanks and explosions. He leafed through the scripts. Then he read them. No Harry Kim. Garrett called Brannon Braga and wailed, "You can't do this to me! You've got to let me be in this! I need to be in it!" The parts with Harry Kim were written in for him, although even though he was hoping that Harry would get a chance to sneak onto the Holodeck and participate in the battle at the ending, it was not to be. The closest he got was having Tom/Bobby confront him in the corridor. Garrett adds, however, that Harry's chippy attitude toward the Hirogen probably came from Garrett's being stuck on the ship, away from the fun on the Holodeck.

To a question about Q appearing again, Garrett said, "He comes and goes when he pleases." About Jennifer Lien's departure, he said that, "She had a short life span. Only 9 and a half years? Okay--so she had some time left." Getting more serious, he said the writers could have done more with her character but didn't. Jennifer's been in a few movies and in the cartoon show, "Men in Black," so he believes she's doing okay.

One of the questioners said, "You're from some kind of Asian background," more or less like this would be news to Garrett. He said, "No, actually I'm from Ghana," to laughter from the audience. He's of Chinese descent, and his cultural background is important to him. His parents were from mainland China but moved to Taiwan before coming to the United States, prior to Garrett's birth. His first language was Chinese, although he really doesn't speak much now. "I could get to the bathroom in China," he said. There have been some instances in which he's been hurt, and he finds that the role of Harry Kim is important to him because it shows him being just a "normal" kind of guy. There's no stereotyping in the role, and Garrett appreciates that.

Harry Kim is Garrett's first big role, obviously. After doing a McDonald's commercial, he did a guest shot on an "All American Girl" episode. This Margaret Cho comedy didn't last long, but it was a good experience for Garrett. In addition to Margaret, all the major cast members were Asian. They had a good time discussing the similarities between their own experiences as children of immigrants, etc.

As for what will happen with Harry Kim, he doesn't really know beyond the next couple of scripts that he gets. "Timeless" was a good episode for Kim, and Garrett would love more like that. He was disappointed that the relationship between Seven and Kim has stalled out after the beginning of last year. In fact, they are filming an episode now--episode 22, which Garrett jokingly called "Love Potion Number Seven of Nine"-- in which the Doctor falls in love with Seven. This episode is being directed by Robert Duncan McNeill (one of the reasons Robbie didn't do the Raleigh con). I asked Garrett if it's different when one of his fellow Voyager actors is the director, and he said that in some ways it was. When Robbie, Picardo, or Russ direct an episode, they already know the characters very well, which helps. Garrett also noted that working with LeVar Burton was terrific, because LeVar, an "actor's director," is open to Garrett or another actor asking to try things an alternate way. Jonathan Frakes, however, has a clear picture of how he wants things to go. While he'll listen to suggestions, he usually will say, very nicely, "Do it my way."

They have some input into the character's lines upon occasion, even if they don't usually have much say in the plots. Sometimes the writers call, and Garrett has sometimes suggested that a line of dialogue either be rewritten to sound more "Harry Kim" or even have the line be given to someone else, who would be more likely to say such a line the way it is in the script. During the first season, he was too scared to do this much, but now he feels comfortable to ask, whether they listen or not.

Speaking of first season, he remembers being on the set with Genevieve Bujold during her couple of days on the set before quitting The show was suspended for two weeks, and male captains were also being auditioned. It was an open secret that if a man were hired, the "gender balance" of the show would be disrupted and at least one of the senior staff would be recast, not a pleasant prospect. This was Garrett's big break. His thoughts? "Well, okay. I can do the 'Tootsie' thing. Or I can rip off the gold uniform and there'll be a green one underneath. See, I'm medical!" (Roxann Dawson has recounted that she was told she might be first officer instead of B'Elanna if a male captain was hired, and she was already so pleased with the Torres character that she was relieved when Kate was signed and she could remain the half-Klingon engineer.)

Regarding the future of Star Trek, Garrett has no real information, beyond the fact that he's signed for seven seasons of Voyager. He can imagine "Star Trek Preschool," "Star Trek Kindergarten," etc., but he only knows that for two years, Voyager will probably be the only show on the air, once DS9 ends. He acknowledges that DS9 competes directly with Voyager in some markets, and that may ease when Voyager's the only show on the block. Some friends of Garrett's were visiting at the con. They live in Columbia, South Carolina, and they no longer get Voyager on television there. A lot of people have to see the show by getting videotapes from friends who can get the show, and he's sorry they have to go through all that. UPN "has to get the product out there" to be seen.

He would prefer to see Voyager stay in the Delta Quadrant until the last episode because that seems the most logical way to him for the show to end. Doing some shows about the adjustment home would be okay with him, though. The show when they actually return should be a "doozy."

There were a few other stories told that your humble scribe didn't get down any readable notes on, so I will stop here. Suffice it to say that Garrett seemed to be having as good a time himself as the audience did.

Autograph time eventually came, and we lined up in the very sane way that Joe Motes always has con guests do: each badge has a number, and people line up in groups of 50 according to their numbers while everyone else can sit and chat until their number is called. His system is the best. I can't fathom why all the other cons don't adopt it.

Auntie Jamelia's group didn't all have numbers in the same group. Since Mon and your dear Auntie were the first to register of any of the guests, we had numbers 001 and 002. We were done early and waited for the others to go up. While waiting, Auntie saw a young friend from the PTCollective to whom she'd been introduced at Novacon. Becca (as I'll call her) is a very attractive, mature-looking teenaged lady. She lives in the area and didn't know anyone she knew would be at the con. She sat down next to me to talk a bit.

A young man came over, plastic ray gun in hand, and said to Becca in a very flirtatious way (almost first season Tom Paris mode), "I want to abduct you."

Auntie Jamelia peered over her glasses and said to the young man, rather severely, "That could be misconstrued, my friend."

The young man (who looked to be somewhere around 18-20 in age) shrugged and smiled a little sheepishly, allowing that maybe it could be. Turning his attention back to Becca, he then said, "Don't I know you? Do you go to Carolina?" (At this point, his resemblance to a young Tom Paris was even more startling. That was almost as good a pick up line as "A beautiful woman should never eat alone." Almost. And I didn't think much of that one, either.)

Becca very calmly replied, "No, I'm not in college yet."

Auntie Jam added, "She's thirteen."

Young Man With Plastic Ray Gun's eyes popped out of his head. I could just about see the words "Jail Bait" pop into his consciousness. When he managed to retrieve his lower jaw from the floor, he stuttered, " She's what? Th-thirteen? Oh, my. I guess that could be misconstrued, couldn't it?"

Auntie Jamelia kindly suggested, "Come back in a few years."

From the tiny puffs of smoke that issued from YMWPRG's heels as he disappeared, almost at light speed, I gathered that yes, he probably was of an age to be concerned that his attentions towards a thirteen year old were capable of being misconstrued.

Having completed her auntly duty for the day, Auntie finished her conversation before Becca got her autograph and was picked up by her mother (I met her mom in person the next day. We had a very pleasant chat--although I didn't bother to discuss YMWPRG with her. I never did see him around again. Might have chased him over the Virginia state line, for all I know.)

Dinner was supposed to be at a Japanese restaurant with Inge Heyer, Mon, and Clara, but Inge was tabbed to judge the Masquerade/Costume contest and had to be back by 7:45. We had some trouble finding the restaurant, so Auntie Jam missed out on the sushi (although for some reason, Mon and Clara seemed relieved we didn't have time for it). Inge got her sushi to take out. We got her back to the Hilton in time for her contest judging. Clara, Mon and I settled for Papa John's pizza, which was fine since we ran into Vanessa, another member of the PTCollective who was there just for the day. We had a good time gabbing over pizza in our room.

After dinner, we hung out in the lobby for a while. Mon took the opportunity to buy a deck of cards so she could show Auntie the finer points of playing Blackjack, in case Auntie Jamelia ever goes to Atlantic City again. Or Vegas. I've only been to AC once, and never to Vegas, but one never knows, does one? She gave me lessons on how to bet at the Craps table, too. We also spent some time with Clara, Monica, Marianna, and Ann, discussing Star Trek fanfiction, current events, Eastern European history and politics, etc. Obsessed with Trek? Not exclusively! We decided to make a night of it earlier this time. We called it quits by 3 AM.

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Super Bowl Sunday

Auntie Jamelia had very good intentions of getting up at 7:30 AM to go for a swim on Sunday, too. When 7:30 rolled around, however, she wasn't able to drag her half-century-old bones out of bed. So much for exercise. We did celebrate our newest national holiday (though the card makers haven't figured out a way to get us to spring for "Happy Super Bowl Sunday" cards yet, just give them time) in the traditional way.

Talking sports and eating.

Since we missed out on having dinner with Inge, we met with her for breakfast instead. There we were, seven chicks of various ages, talking about the basketball strike, salary caps, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa revitalizing baseball, and whether John Elway would retire if he won Super Bowl number two. So much for gender stereotyping. And at a Star Trek convention, yet!

After breakfast we sat in on Inge's slide show about the Mars missions. Auntie Jamelia had an emergency when her badge turned up missing, (it was in Mon's pocket since our journey to the sushi bar the night before), but all was straightened out and she wasn't kicked out of the con. I ended up missing Dirk Benedict's talk again, however, as well as Mary Kay Adam's.

Before Garrett and Jeff were scheduled to speak, there was another free autograph session with them at 1:30 PM. They couldn't get into the room because Dirk Benedict was still finishing up his session. Garrett was waiting patiently by the door, early for the session and looking quite well rested (I saw him go out to dinner with his friends from South Carolina, but he reportedly went to a club afterwards. I can't verify the latter, but if he did go, he had a late night, too.)

Jeff Conway was another story. While we were in the lobby the previous night pursuing my study of the gambling arts, Jeff had been going back and forth between his room and the nightclub. I presume he preferred the facilities in his own room to those in the bar. Every trip, he seemed a little more, shall we say, under the weather. On one of his last circuits, I mentioned to my cohorts that "That boy is going to be wearing dark glasses tomorrow, mark my words." Sure enough, Jeff was sporting some purple-lensed specs, and when some of us asked him to pose for a picture with us, he grimaced when he took off his glasses in anticipation of the effect the flash would have on his tender retinas. Mon said, "No one can see your eyes behind your glasses if you want to close your eyes," so that's what he did. I haven't had mine developed yet to see how it came out.

When I came up to Garrett to have him autograph a nice black and white photo of himself and one from "The Chute" (Harry with the pipe in his hand, fighting to protect Tom--one of my favorite poses), he asked me who he should sign them to. I said "Janet" at first, then changed it to "Auntie Janet." He'd already written the "J," however, so I told him just "Janet" would be fine. As he finished signing them, Garrett asked me, "why Auntie?"

So, I explained how I got the name. For those of my gentle readers who don't know the story either, I'll explain it to you, too.

I've been visiting the AOL message boards for a couple of years now, first the Paris/Torres Collective boards, with the occasional foray into Janeway/Chakotay Fold land. (I learned very quickly to avoid the personality and episode boards, where some people who love to flame others tend to reside.) About a year ago, when the Kim/Seven board was set up, I became one of the first posters there. At one point, the people who were posting introduced themselves to everyone else. "Hi, I'm Summer. I'm 20." That sort of thing. As people put up their introductions, I noticed something about their ages: 13, 18, 20, 14, 16, 15, 16, 17 . . . and then there's me. 51.

So I made a joke of it. I became kindly Auntie Janet, who will make all of you young kids toe the line. Jamelia is my screen name, constructed from my first and middle names: Janet Amelia. I gave Garrett the abbreviated version of this story, of course, but when he finished signing my pictures, he said, "There you go, Auntie Janet."

Recognition! I feel like putting the trademark code after my name from now on!

Mon had something for Garrett to sign, too--the Ace of spades from the deck of cards she was using to teach me Blackjack the previous evening. Garrett is known to enjoy a trip to Vegas every now and then. We also were collecting things that could be offered to raise money for charity if he ever gets his fan club reestablished. Mon and I were among those who urged Garrett to allow a fan club to be set up again. He's thinking seriously about it.

When Garrett came back for his Sunday talk, he was pretty loose and entertaining on stage once again, even though Joe Motes mispronounced his name. (It may be spelled "Wang," but it's pronounced to rhyme with "song"--or you'll be wrong!)

Garrett talked about his studying theatre for 5 years and doing some guest spots for a year and a half before getting his Voyager role. He went on 6 auditions over a 2 month period before getting the Harry Kim role. He had a couple of other job offers at the same time, though. One was a role in the movie "Mortal Kombat," and the other was a role in a cable TV movie, "Glory Days," which ended up starring Ben Affleck, French Stewart, Matt Damon, Brendan Frasier, and Matthew McConnaughy. Garrett said, "Gee, maybe I passed up the chance to be the third guy in 'Good Will Hunting.' "

His parents initially were not pleased with the idea that Garrett would be an actor. That all changed when he got the job on Voyager as Harry Kim. Now, his parents whip out autographed pictures of Garrett at the drop of a hat. "Here, would you like this picture? Can we get our table now?"

The old questions, asked at every con that I've been to (somebody must think that they're lying, or something, even though the answers are always the same), were asked: who blows the most lines? Who's best at remembering them? Kate always has her lines down, but, as has been reported elsewhere, Beltran is infamous for his problems with lines, especially technobabble. There was one line in "Timeless," Garrett recalls, that Robert blew 17 times before finally getting it right.

Who's the practical joker on the set? The questioner claimed that Tim Russ said Garrett was the biggest joker. "Tim said I was? No way! Tim's the joker!" He told the story about the planned practical joke of the two "neighborhood dudes" who were going to go down the corridor with their boombox, Tim in a big Afro wig and Garrett in an Einstein number. They were thwarted when the blocking of the scene changed, but it could still happen.

Garrett told a couple of stories about the Janeway-Tuvok "joke war" (the score currently stands at Tuvok 2, Janeway 0) that Auntie Jamelia hadn't heard before. One was that when they filmed "The Caretaker," all of the actors were filmed in the Caretaker array suspended on cots in the air with blankets over them. Tim, with a totally straight face, said that he had a real problem revealing his body to everyone. A certain amount of sympathy was expressed, and the crew encouraged Tim it would be okay. So, Tim takes off his robe. He has a flesh colored body suit on--and at least a dozen socks stuffed down the front of his pants. Garrett said he looked about 7 months pregnant from the waist down!

Another joke took place when they were filming "The Chute." In the climactic scene in which Janeway and Tuvok fly down the chute with their phaser rifles to rescue Harry and Tom, Kate slid down and jumped up into position for the shot--but no Tim. After a significant pause, a "thunk, thunk, clunk, thunk, clunk" was heard. Out popped a plastic prop head.

Tim Russ may be the biggest "premeditated joker" on the set, but he's not the only one. When things start to lag, Garrett says he's whispered "Mr. Fix-It-Guy" into Ethan Phillips' ear. Ethan yanks down the back of his pants so that his butt crack will show and then bends down to "fix" things, displaying even more of what Garrett terms "glowing skin that has never seen the sun--a great reading light." (When Garrett demonstrated this move by bending down and waving his own back end in the air, Auntie noted that Garrett is the possessor of one very cute, firm butt, something often not seen on Voyager because Seven's butt is generally the one featured.)

Garrett and Robbie also indulged themselves in a gag over at the DS9 set, which is across the road from Voyager's. During the filming of "Our Man Bashir," Robbie and Garrett slipped over to the entrance of the casino set. Elegantly dressed couples were entering the casino arm in arm. One of the couples consisted of a preening Robbie and Garrett, holding hands as they skipped down the steps.

(Having presented that mental image, Auntie Jamelia will pause a moment to allow the fans of a certain alternate-pairing relationship to get their breathing back under control prior to proceeding. Better now? Okay. We shall continue.)

Garrett was asked if Tom is back to being reinstated as a lieutenant yet. Garrett said that as of the current episode, the 22nd of 26 to be shot this season, there were no plans for Tom to get back his rank. At the Dealer's Room con, Garrett had mentioned this, too: that he had wanted to tell Kate Mulgrew to "take that pip off Paris' collar and put it right here" onto Harry's during "30 Days."

Now, having heard that, Mon had gotten an idea. She had purchased two gold pips--full lieutenant's rank--and by enthusiastic waving, she managed to be called on right after Garrett made this comment. "I've got something for you," Mon said, as she walked to the stage and gave Garrett the pips. He was touched and thanked her. "Hey, maybe I'll put them on and see if anybody notices! Or maybe I'll put them on my earring, or something."

The uniforms have been reported to be uncomfortable before, because they're cut so tight that--well, "instant wedgie" comes to mind. Garrett has split several pairs of pants just from bending down. He said that "Once, the trajectory of the projectile--whoa! I can't say that Trek technobabble hasn't affected the way I talk!--anyway, I was ducking down and the pants went rrrrriiiipppp!"

Regarding the filming of "Revulsion," when the director called "cut" after the mess hall scene, Jeri Ryan turned to Garrett and said, "Harry, you blew it!" for refusing Seven. Garrett turned to the crew and started jumping up and down. "Give me another chance! Please!" (There's not much doubt that scene would have ended quite differently if Garrett had written the script. Woo--ooo, as Summer says.)

At the urgings of some of the audience members, Garrett gave "his side" of the elbow story. He assured us, "It was not premeditated! It was an accident!" It seems that the two of them were walking down the corridor for a shot. At the end of the corridor, they were to go back to their starting places to do it again. Garrett, to be polite, held out his hand to hold onto Jeri's arm and accompany her back up the hallway. Unfortunately, he missed by a few inches. The flesh his hand closed upon was not an elbow, but rather Jeri's left breast. The crew dissolved into stitches. Garrett was mortified. Jeri called out, "That's not my elbow, Goober!"

Mercifully, the director decided to break for lunch. When they got back from lunch, Jeri had used yellow Post-It notes on her costume to carefully identify "Elbow->" and "Not an Elbow->" at the appropriate locations.

Someone asked the shuttle question again. (Auntie Jamelia must interject here that some people really do need to get a life. Enough already with the "Where are they getting all those shuttles?" question! Didn't you guys watch the episode when they built the Delta Flyer? They're BUILDING THEM, OKAY?) Garrett said that perhaps they should change the name of Voyager to "USS Shuttle Maker." Losing a shuttle is fairly dramatic, however, and he thinks that it's done because there are only so many crewmen to lose, but they can always build more shuttles (which Joe Carey is apparently spending all his time doing).

And now, I must prepare myself for the second time that Monica from New York asked a very unique question. In this case, it was an excellent question. The wording this time was a little incomplete, however, which led to an interesting misinterpretation.

Monica mentioned how much she liked Garrett's performances in both "Timeless" and "The Chute." Garrett thanked her politely. Monica went on to note that both were angsty pieces that must take a lot out of an actor. Garrett nodded his head. Then Monica said, with several hesitations, "How do you relieve yourself . . . "

Now, without the hesitations, it would have been relatively easy to catch her precise meaning. With the hesitations, however, it sounded like she was asking something else, and it had a closer connection to the "What is K-Y Jelly?" question of the other night than one would usually want to see on stage when kids are around.

Garrett waited for her to finish her thought, but nothing more was forthcoming. The audience started laughing. Garrett did a little circle around the stage, and then said, "I'm sure you're not asking me how I relieve myself." The audience went into hysterics, and Mon called out, "She doesn't get out much." Garrett realized at that point who his questioner was and repeated "She doesn't get out much" for the audience.

When everyone had calmed down (including Monica, who couldn't clarify her question because was laughing too hard to say anything), Garrett carefully rephrased the question to allow Monica to add "to relieve the tension from acting in such intense scenes" and get her out of her verbal jam. Garrett agreed that it could be tense when such scenes are acted, but sometimes things happened to break everyone up. In the pipe fight scene in "The Chute," for instance, Robbie was lying on the floor after being stabbed by the other inmate. Garrett accidentally stepped on Robbie's hand, then walked over his stomach, too. Robbie rolled on the floor yelling, "ow, ow, ow!" as the cast and crew all started to laugh, breaking the tension.

After that highlight was over with, Garrett was asked what his favorite part of playing Harry Kim was. This actually was a bit of a stumper for Garrett. Finally, he admitted, "This sounds kind of dumb, but I never have to get a haircut. The hairdressers do it for me every day!"

Another question was more fun for Garrett to answer. One person said that Harry Kim was kind of the freckle-faced "All American Boy" ("but without the freckles," noted Garrett). Did Garrett ever want Harry to turn evil?

Garrett said that he'd really thought about something like this. Remember that other Harry Kim? The one who fell out of Voyager in "Deadlock," presumably to be killed in the vacuum of space? Well, what if there were a cloaked Borg vessel that just happened to transport him to their ship before he died? Maybe this other Harry Kim gets turned into a Borg--gets involved with the Borg Queen--and comes back to Voyager to assimilate them all. "Hey, Seven would have to respect Harry then, huh?"

Garrett had fun with the fact that Harry was always getting slapped around by Seven last year, like in "Waking Moments." I asked him if he had fun kissing Seven in the Jefferies tubes in that episode. He replied, "It's just a job. There are 30 people standing around looking at you when you're doing a kissing scene. Of course, I didn't really MIND kissing her!"

The question asked the previous day, about Kate Mulgrew's desire to have a lighter work schedule, came up again. A man said, "How does the cast relieve Kate's tension?" After looking sternly at the fellow who asked this and instructing him to "share phone numbers with her (Monica)" because their questions were coming out of the same left field, Garrett answered it by saying that the producers do try to give them a lighter schedule after they have an episode in which they're featured heavily. Sometimes it's not possible. Because of Kate's position as star of the show, sometimes there's a limit to how easy her schedule can get. Miss "Seven/Eleven because she's always there, etc." worked so much last year that Garrett estimates Jeri Ryan was sick at least 60% of the time. She never got a chance to rest.

I asked Garrett about Jeri Taylor's Pathways. Do the producers consider the novel authentic backstory, the way Mosaic apparently was when Jeri Taylor was still one of the producers? He said, not that he knew of. "Maybe I should ask!" He hasn't read the book. None else of the cast has that he knows of, either.

Someone asked Garrett about outside projects. He mentioned the independent film he made two years ago, "Hundred Percent," in which he played an Asian actor. That movie hasn't found a distributor yet. (At the "Dealer's Room R-rated con," Garrett had mentioned this part. It seems as if the original script had him dissing Star Trek. Garrett asked that the script be changed. He didn't think it was right for him to be saying things like that in the movie when he was acting in Voyager, in particular, even if it would be funny.) This hiatus coming up, he has another independent film he's making. This time, he'll be filming a role as a film student in Cleveland this May. "Maybe I'll dye my hair blond for the part," he added. (This last almost made Mon swoon. She'd purchased a picture of Brad Pitt and almost had asked Garrett to sign it, as a joke. Now she was sorry she hadn't, to have a momento of his "blond period.")

When Garrett was asked if he had any "high points" of his time on the show, Garrett said that any Harry Kim episode has been a highlight for him. He realizes that with 9 regular cast members, they can't focus on any one character too much, but it is difficult to make something out of a bridge scene and nothing else. He feels that he has been doing better and better work as time has gone on. While he has always put all he can into the role from the beginning, he goes back now at earlier episodes and sees that the "best he could do" at the time was a lot "younger" than now.

Garrett has also joined the director's training program, as Robbie, Roxann, Bob Picardo, and Tim had before him. He's hoping to direct late 6th or early 7th season. He will have no choice about which episode he would get to direct, but any episode would be a great opportunity for him.

As Garrett's time was expiring, he did a dead-on impression of George Takei. "You have to smile from ear to ear to do George's voice. 'Buy my book, all about dealing with Bill,' " Garrett smiled. You just had to laugh.

At that point, an aide to the governor of North Carolina came on stage, along with Joe Motes and Jeff Conaway. The governor gave "proclamations" to Jeff and Garrett, making them honorary citizens of the great state of North Carolina. It was funny, but when the aide read, " . . . and both have shown they understand the meaning of 'kissin' cousins'," Jeff turned to the aide and planted a big fat one on his lips. Garrett mugged for the audience, then carefully tiptoed until he was balanced on the very edge of the stage, as far away from the governor's aide and Jeff as he could get.

Jeff stayed onstage after Garrett and the governor's aide walked off, mentioning that he'd had some experience with North Carolina "white lightning" the night before. He was loose, he said, and he certainly was. He talked about a lot of things that he'd mentioned the day before, but his delivery was definitely "looser."  It would have been nice to have had the time to listen to the entire talk, but it was time to start moving up the highway. As we pulled out, Clara, Mon and I all agreed we'd had just as much fun at this con as any other we've been at. We'd found Garrett to be gracious, charming, and very witty.

The Super Bowl started about an hour after we left Raleigh. We had trouble getting it, but we got enough for Clara, our Coloradan, to be ecstatic when the Broncos beat the Falcons. All Auntie Jamelia could think of was that she was off galivanting in Raleigh when her boys at home needed her. (Oldest son Joe is a Falcon's fan.)

Tired but contented because we had such a great time at Raleigh, our merry band rolled into DC fairly early. We dropped Clara off at her dorm (with Auntie Jamelia helpfully yelling out "do your homework!" to her as she went inside) and toddled back home to Maryland to Mon's house.

There's not much more amblin' to tell of this trip. Before the last leg of the journey back up I-95 to New Jersey, Mon and Auntie put their heads together. We had such a great time that we really would like to make another stop before going to see Robbie in Denver after all. It seems that Mr. Wang is supposed to be at Valley Forge in a couple of weeks, and he's such a nice guy . . . . If the photo of Garrett and me that Mon took in the Dealer's Room comes out, maybe I'll want Garrett to inscribe a "To Auntie Janet" on a picture after all. So maybe a jaunt over to Valley Forge would be in order . . .

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Auntie Jamelia and Friends Go Elbow Fondling at Valley Forge (Ahem)

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 Hi Everyone!

Good old Auntie Janet has some more Garrett con news for you all!

I'm doing this addendum to the other reports to discuss what Garrett said on Feb. 13 at the Valley Forge con, because most of it was a rehash of the earlier con news. There are some new things to share.

There have been some comments made recently about Jeri's calling Garrett "Goober" when she's told the elbow story. I believe it's an affectionate nickname that suggests a Southerner (remember, Garrett was raised in the South-- Tennessee, I think) because goobers are peanuts. (No comment about any other connotations, please!). A character in the old "Andy Griffith Show" was named Goober, and he was a bit of a country bumpkin.

Anyway, when someone from the audience asked him to tell his side of the "elbow story" because Jeri had told it on Conan, Garrett said, "She told that story on CONAN! You're kidding, right? No! She really did? Oh, man! On national TV!" while circling the stage. I must add, however, that he played this to the hilt and smiled as he said it.

When he started to tell "his side" of the tale, a woman offered to jump on stage to "help Garrett" tell it. It turned out she had yellow Post-It notes on her arm and her breast (Garrett called it "boob" this time out). Garrett (very tastefully, I might add) told the story again, with the help of his visual aid (aide? Kind of hard to tell which spelling to use in this context, huh?). I must emphasize that Garrett was EXTREMELY careful not to touch anything but his assistant's elbow! He also corrected the position of the "not an elbow" Post-It note. The woman had it on her breast, and Garrett stated that it needed to be up by the shoulder blade (and now, if there is a sea of Post-It notes confronting Garrett at his next con, hopefully they will be positioned correctly, at least).

One of the questioners asked about how much Harry would appear in "Dark Frontier," the "two year" (sic) episode of Voyager, since Seven was featured almost exclusively in the promos. After answering that while he and the others were in it, it was primarily a Seven and Janeway two part episode, Garrett had some fun with the mistake.  "Two-year episode? Oh, yeah. UPN would love that. 'We are preempting all UPN programming for the next two years so that we may show you the special Voyager episode 'Dark Frontier.' It goes on and on for two years.' That would be something. Just train the cameras on us as we actually film the episodes, leaving in all the bloopers and the joking around between takes. We can have the PG version, and on another channel, the R-rated version."

(Dare Auntie Janet interject here that this would undoubtedly be an improvement over virtually all of UPN's current programming? The only thing it wouldn't be better than is Voyager as it currently appears!)

He joked around also when somebody asked about Harry's romantic life, "Oh, yeah. Harry goes 'oooo, girls! Icky, gross!' " He also brought up "Disease" and the fact that he finally gets to have an AOTW romance. With more seriousness, he said that there has to be respect for Harry from Seven before there could be anything between them (which he's said before), adding that "Some people might want to get slammed into the wall and get to it. But Harry doesn't." So, while he didn't single out the P/T "Scientific Method" or even the "snogging" scene in "Waking Moments," I don't think he feels that Harry's character's integrity would be bolstered by portraying the relationship that way for Kim and Seven.

(I really think that Garrett, while he likes to clown around on the con stage, was making a very serious point here. Between the lines of what he said, I heard him being very protective of Harry's character. Kim may be an "aw, shucks" kind of guy, but Garrett realizes Harry is that way and doesn't want him to be made the butt of jokes. Harry's younger than Garrett, and maybe he views him as an older brother would. You know, you make fun of your brother, but don't let anybody mess with him? I was getting that impression from Garrett.)

Garrett did a bit of the "Riverdance" bit that he, Beltran, and Robbie McNeill do sometimes to relieve tension on the set. They stomp their feet a la Irish step dancers and strike the "Lord of the Dance" pose. I've seen Robbie do this bit, too, and I have to say that Garrett's version is better, although Robbie holds the "Lord of the Dance" pose at the end nicely. Maybe Robbie's a bit more inhibited, seeing as how he's got the Irish background himself! At any rate, whenever the guys do this, Irish-American Kate Mulgrew "laughs her bun off."

Speaking of ethnic backgrounds, somebody wished him Happy Chinese New Year, and Garrett said "When is that anyway? Some Chinese guy, I am, having to be reminded by a Caucasian fan!" Garrett was assured by the fans, Caucasian and Asian, that it was Tuesday, Feb. 16th (for all of you who want to know, it's the Year of the Rabbit. Write your own joke. To my mind, Fourth Season on Voyager was kind of a rabbity year, all things considered).

Garrett mentioned again that he had only been acting professionally for about a year and a half when he was cast in Voyager. In addition to the burger company commercial, he had a Rice Krispies Treat commercial, where he was in the "UFO Club" that had its club president stolen by a UFO. The Rice Krispie Treats, however, weren't stolen, so Garrett and the remaining guys just went on munching. He thinks it's pretty funny now that he did that commercial just before getting Voyager.

He told an entertaining story about his auditioning for Voyager, too. He went in for that audition right after getting word that they wanted him for the "Mortal Kombat" movie (as the little brother who gets killed in the beginning) and "Glory Days," the movie in which there were a group of young future stars in it, including Ben Affleck and French Stewart. He was so high about getting those roles (even though he couldn't take either after getting the Harry Kim role on Voyager) that he hadn't fully memorized the piece he was going to be reading for his Voyager audition.

He entered the casting director's office. She had apparently been having "one of those days" and was dithering about "actors" while chain-smoking, flicking ashes into a tray overflowing with a "hundred" cigarette butts (throughout this story, I must say, Garrett was miming the actions, which made what he said even funnier). So, when Garrett had to admit he hadn't actually memorized the piece, the casting director ripped into him, "Actors! Do you know who Andy Garcia is?" (Uh, Garrett did kind of know who Andy Garcia was.) "You know on his first audition, he had his whole scene memorized! Memorized! You want to be known as an actor, you have to memorize!" (Garrett humbly apologized and asked if his audition could possibly be rescheduled.) "Reschedule! Actors!" (puff, puff on the cigarette) she mumbled.

When Garrett was finally allowed to audition (and I think she did allow him to reschedule; I was laughing too hard to write it down in my notes), he was performing the scene on the steps to the surface with B'Elanna--when they collapsed because they couldn't go any further and Harry complains, "I'm on my first mission, and now I'm going to die!" (Garrett did a really funny whine delivering this line). The casting director runs in and yells at him, "Where is the pain?! This scene needs pain! (puff, puff) Here, deliver the line now." The casting director pulls up his shirt and starts giving him an Indian burn on the arm, puffing her cigarette all the while. Garrett, of course, starts saying "ow" between every other word. "There, see! That's it!" said the casting director. (A guy from the audience yelled out here, "good thing you weren't auditioning with a sex scene," which broke up Garrett. He also, at one point, started to stick the mike between his legs so he would have two hands available for miming, but thought better of it when he realized the interesting image it created when the audience started to snicker.)

Anyway, Garrett had to undergo five more auditions before getting the part. He was sure the casting director hated him, but he was instead told, "Oh, no, she really likes you. She only treats people that way if she likes them." Garrett did eventually get the part, so apparently she did like him. This casting director no longer works for Voyager, incidentally (but this story makes me want to drag out my tape of "The Caretaker" so I can read the credits).

Garrett mentioned that while he liked to watch reruns of TOS when he was growing up, his sister would always make him turn it off. "Oh, no, not that space thing again!" So, while he liked the show, he wasn't a Trekker. He thinks that this worked out in his favor when he auditioned. Had it meant so much to him to become part of "the franchise," he might have been really paralyzed and done very poorly during the reading. Now, he says, he's totally hooked on all forms of Trek.

The question about how much input the actors have on stories was asked again. Garrett said that at the beginning of the season, he had requested a chance to work with Robert Beltran on the show, since it seems as if they never have any scenes together except on the bridge or the ready room. That was apparently one of the reasons Chakotay was with Harry in the future in "Timeless" instead of Tom.

Another was "The Killing Game."Auntie Janet asked him about Harry's omission from that episode, identifying herself as someone who was at Raleigh. "Was Harry totally cut out? Weren't there any scenes at all with him originally?"

Garrett replied that in the first two scripts, in both episodes, Harry had a grand total of one scene (he didn't specify, but I'm guessing it was a bridge scene). Garrett cried out to the producers about how he wanted to be in it because of the WWII theme, which he'd fantasized about as a kid, and because he loves period costume stuff, which is pretty hard for him to audition for most of the time. (He did a very funny bit here about wanting to audition for "Braveheart," and having Mel Gibson react to an Asian showing up at the casting call--in a more than passable Scots brogue, might I add. The guy has a very good ear for accents as well as for people's voices, accounting for his skillful impressions, no doubt.)

Nothing much was done about his complaints before filming, and Garrett wouldn't have had those scenes sassing the Hirogen if all had worked out the way the writers and producers expected. Luckily for Garrett, the episodes "ran short." When the filming was done, the episodes didn't total the necessary 44 minutes or so each needed to fill the time for the show, after credits and commercials are subtracted. Brannon Braga had the writers construct the Harry Kim subplot as a result. I said they were lucky the episodes ran short, because I thought that subplot added a lot to the story. He thanked me. (I think he was happy to get a chance to tell that story again, too.)

He still hasn't had a chance to do a period piece on Trek, like "Q-Pid" on TNG. But he hopes. (Maybe that was part of the reason he likes Captain Proton so much--the period costumes, even if the pants are uncomfortable.) He hopes they do some more with that set, too. So far, though, they haven't.)

Garrett added that he would love to have a chance to actually write a whole episode. None of the Trek actors has been successful in pitching a whole story to the producers yet. He'd like to be the first. Garrett spends a fair amount of time working on story ideas, for Voyager and, I presume, for other projects, in his free time. He said he used to be on the tennis team when he was in school and follows ice hockey and football, but he doesn't have time for a lot of hobbies right now. He's much more wrapped up in his career.

He loves having good parts in the shows. He noted that if any of the actors gets "something to do," they really work hard at it, because on an ensemble show of 9 characters and only 26 episodes a season, there just aren't that many opportunities. "You do the math," he said, noting that when a certain number of episodes have to be set aside for "the trendy character of the moment" (the closest he came to complaining, by the way--he wasn't whining over the situation) it means that the rest of the characters have maybe 2 or 3 episodes of their own to really have something interesting to perform.

Someone asked if acting with the CGI effects, like Species 8472, was difficult. Garrett responded that acting against "nothing," which means against a blue screen where the effects are to be put in later, is tricky at first. Now, he has no trouble with it. He said that he watched a show about Jodie Foster saying how difficult it was for her in "First Contact," and he said that it looked that way to him. Even an actress as accomplished as Foster can be thrown at first. For him, now, he prefers to do the scenes without even getting a preliminary sketch of the alien he's playing against. He said, "If you can imagine it, you can act it."

After that, a lady tried to call out a question to Garrett from the back of the hall. When Garrett couldn't hear, one of the guys dressed as a Klingon shouted it out so that the question could probably be heard in Philadelphia. Garrett's response was to jump back and salute him in the Klingon way, saying, "Qapla' my Klingon brother!" Then, as an aside to the rest of us, "Klingons can be pretty scary. And that poor lady in front of him just had her eardrums blown out. 'Ow! I can't hear nothing now.' "

He said his mom has been making noises about wanting to move down to L.A.--to Garrett's house--to "help take care of things for him." Garrett said that he understands about the "empty nest" syndrome, but he really would prefer not to be living with his mom right about now. (Envision a panicked Garrett moaning about this, and you'll get a clue. Very funny stuff. Anybody care to guess why Garrett might not want Mommy hanging around? Can anyone say, 'single guy social life,' boys and girls? Someone from the audience also made a crack about how Harry may want Seven, and now that Jeri is free . . . Garrett let this pass without commenting on it at all.)

The question about "getting back to the Alpha Quadrant this season" question was asked, as it always is. Garrett reiterated what he'd said in Raleigh about how he'd prefer the return to be the climax of the show as the series was ending its run, rather than have them come back right after DS9 went off the air. He acknowledges that they could have Romulans, Ferengi, and Klingons on the show if they came back earlier, but Garrett would prefer that the full 7 seasons be in the Delta Quadrant. He added, this time, that he would even like to see the series end without them returning to the Alpha Quadrant, and having the return home be done as a big screen feature. He noted that the talent on the show, top to bottom, was certainly good enough to carry a big screen movie, specifically citing Kate Mulgrew, Robert Beltran, Roxann Dawson, and Robbie McNeill of having the talent for features. (While I doubt it will happen, I would have to agree that the Voyager cast has the talent to be in features, just as the TOS and TNG crews have been.)

There were other stories and questions, of course, already told in the Raleigh report sufficiently for them to be repetitious here. He did his impressions of Kate again and one of George Takei. Garrett "enacted" George at a tribute dinner recently, and he said George laughed at his rendition. He also did a wonderful Picardo in full Doctor rhetoric, and, of course, the casting director was a scream. It's impossible for me to fully convey the effect he made, because so much of his presentations are visual, with pacing around, miming, and body positioning providing a complete performance, whether he was doing an actual impression or simply responding to questions. Since I was sitting more to the side instead of directly in front of him this time, I may have noticed it more--or maybe I noticed more because this time, since some of the stories were those I'd recorded before, I didn't need to write as many notes. I just know I really, really enjoyed him.

Garrett ended his stage session with his "First con/Abort! Abort! Abort!" story, and then we did autographs.

This was a Creation con, and the last time (admittedly years ago) I'd been at one, they had had one long snaky audience line that was an endurance test. This time, they let everyone sit in their seats and allowed one row at a time up to be in line, pretty much the way Joe Motes does it, with the reserved tickets people going first and the rest of us afterwards. It's so much better this way, and we all got autographs. My 9" Harry doll's box now has Garrett's signature on it, and I bought another copy of the black and white still of Garrett that I really love.

This time, I remembered to ask him to sign "to Auntie Janet" on his picture. He was puzzled a minute, but when I said, "You probably don't remember, but I told you the story of how I got the Auntie name in Raleigh . . ." he said, "Oh, yeah, I do! Thanks for coming back!" He wrote "To Auntie Janet, Best Wishes, Garrett Wang" on the pic. While he was signing, I told him I enjoyed this appearance just as much as the last one and that this time, I'd brought a few friends who couldn't come to Raleigh. He said, "Great! Next time, bring a crowd!" and patted my arm (well above the elbow, by the way).

Marianna and Maureen were in line after Katie and me. Maureen and Katie hadn't seen him before but enjoyed him immensely. Marianna had taken a terrific picture of Garrett at Raleigh doing the "Abort, abort" line from his first con story. Garrett got a kick out of signing that picture.

We were expecting to go home then, but as we were leaving, we ran into Anne and Patricia, A.K.A. the "Bunnies from Hell" who have made some interesting music videos of P/T, J/C, and K/7 they've shown at MediaWest Cons. Katie, Marianna, Maureen, and I, plus Loretta, whom we knew from previous cons and had met here by accident, had gone over to King of Prussia mall for lunch. The "bunnies" and their friend Camille had arrived kind of late, while we were away from the con. We'd missed them earlier, although I'd looked for them. We took the opportunity to chat while waiting for the end of the autographs.

When the autograph line was just about over, we spoke to the con promoter for a few minutes about guests he might want to consider. I took a couple of pictures of Garrett as he was signing the last few autographs, and then the con staff had a group shot taken.

The taking of the group shot gave my group some ideas. Like, could we get a picture of ourselves taken with Garrett, too? Auntie Janet was the designated "ask Garrett for a picture" person. Auntie has no qualms about asking such a simple question. Hey, the worst thing he could have said was "No," or, "I have to leave to catch a plane now." I knew from what I'd seen of him in Raleigh, as well as here at Valley Forge, that he would be willing if he had the time.

Garrett had the time. We cleared the room because the con staff needed to get us out, and we posed for a shot in the hallway outside the ballroom. Katie was at Garrett's right, and I was to his left. He had his arms around us. When we were all arranged and the pictures were about to be taken, somebody yelled out, "Elbow!" Everybody laughed, but Katie and I were laughing the hardest. Garrett had moved his hands from our backs to our shoulders, scrunching up his fingers as if he were considering going on an "elbow" search. (Auntie Janet is old enough to remember drive-in movies.) I can't wait to see that first picture, because I was hysterical, and Katie said she was, too.

After we were finished, we thanked Garrett for taking the time to take the pictures with us. I assured him he was a "very nice boy. His Auntie says so," and he laughed.

We moved out to the lobby for a while to visit. Garrett was in the lobby for a while, too, but he was busy straightening out some problem, so we let him be. We had plenty to talk about already! When I asked Katie the time, it was past 8 P.M., so then it was REALLY time to go. We said our good-byes and headed back home.

And yes, we all had a great time.

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Note: A sincere thanks to Monica, Mon, Clara, Ann, Marianna, Becca, Katie, Maureen, Loretta, Patricia, Anne, Joe Motes, Garrett Wang, Jeff Conaway, Inge Heyer, and many others for providing lots of fun and laughs at these cons. Please note that while I have done my best to recreate the conversations, on stage and off, the quotes can't be perfectly exact. I don't have Seven's eidetic memory, and I didn't always have my handy-dandy notebook, either. Some liberties have been taken with the orders of the questions to make a readable text as well.

The tongue stuck firmly in cheek, however, I claim with pride.

------------------J.A. Toner, February, 1999
 
 

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