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GRANDMA MOVES ON...
Other Links by Remay: Profile, Poetry Corner, Faith, Prayer & Manifestation, Life After Death, Grandma Moves On,
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When my Aunt notified me of my grandmother's passing, I flew to Philadelphia from Houston where I was living. However, I missed the funeral and the burial because of a missed communication: When I had asked my aunt when the funeral would be held, she heard, "When will the burial take place?" Based on her answer, I made flight reservations for the day I understood to be the start of the funeral. As it turned out, it was the day the burial took place. When I confirmed my arrival date with my aunt, she didn't ask me why I planned to fly in after the ceremony, and before making my reservations, I had failed to ask why the funeral was going to be so delayed.
I was only slightly disappointed I didn't get a chance to participate in the funeral ritual. I would have wanted to share the moments of prayer and to reminisce with the few remaining members on this side of my family. Somehow, I had arrived at a place in my life where death had no meaning. Life and death had become one and the same. I had this sense that in reality we don't die, we just change bodies; therefore, I didn't need to grieve. One day I would meet my grandmother on the other side if I didn't get a chance to communicate with her while I was still on this side of the veil. I wasn't totally sure I wouldn't grieve, but at that moment grieving didn't seem natural to me, anymore.
Through the years, I had come to know realities unknown to most, yet I knew them intimately through experience. Some realities which I only believed at this time in my life eventually became known to me. And from this particular experience, some of what I thought I knew, I came to know better—thanks to my grandmother's spirit.
Shortly after arriving at my aunt's home, where my grandmother had resided and where she eventually crossed over, I had a need to go to what had been my grandmother's bedroom. So go, I did. The minute I entered, I could feel the energy and temperature in this room were distinctly different from the rest of the house. My aunt was with me, so I didn't want to react to what I was feeling. As we were walking around the room, my aunt helping me to reminisce some of the remaining articles belonging to my grandmother, I said to her, "Tia, Grandma is still here." My aunt knew that there was an atmospheric difference, but, at the time, I think she thought it was just the memory of my grandmother's passing—the aura of death, so to speak.
The room was eerie in energy and cold in temperature: it felt like, what I would imagine to be, a dark void. I knew intuitively my grandmother's spirit was still in that room. It wasn't who she was that I was feeling, as much as it was her confusion, her frustration and her inability to communicate with us. I wasn't able to fully perceive this until later that evening because the thought which dominated my mind was, "What on earth is my grandmother still doing here in this room?"
Later that evening, when everyone was in the basement watching TV, I lingered on the first floor in the kitchen, drinking coffee and playing with Grandma's little pekinese. We hardly knew each other, and although she first approached me with threatening barks, she soon warmed up to me. Since no one was on the first floor, where my grandmother's room was located, I decided it was a good time to visit with her. When I walked into the room, I could, again, feel the difference in vibration compared to the rest of the house.
Although I was already aware of life on the other side of the veil, my conception of the crossing over process was considerably limited (of course, I didn't know that at the time). I believed that once we crossed over, we were immediately enlightened, all knowing. While I also believed that our first experience could be a reflection of a firm belief we worshiped while on earth, I didn't believe my grandmother held to any strong beliefs about the life-after-death process—i.e. If you lead an evil life, you go straight to hell.—although she did believe in a higher power, and I knew she knew life existed after death. (You see, after my father's death, from which she had a difficult time recovering, I was instrumental in bringing them together for the last time while she was still on earth. With a little coaxing, he came back to tell her he was fine, and she should not worry about him.)
I was disturbed that my grandmother was still lurking within the confines of this bedroom, and I told her as much. Still impressed with the idea she was enlightened, she just had to know that in truth she was not my grandmother because in God, in truth, we are all one.
Because of my conception, I immediately began to chastise her. Without sitting down (and without courtesy), I said, "Grandma, what are you still doing here? Don't you know you're free? You can leave. Go on with your life. You've been a slave long enough, and you don't have to be here anymore. Now go, and be in peace. I love you." After I gave my short speech, I left the room. Boy, was I ignorant!
I went back to the kitchen and started to play with the dog again. She seemed to feel safe with me, so I got a little more affectionate with her. She was happier than she had been since my grandmother's physical absence, my aunt had informed me earlier. It felt good to be able to bring cheer to someone who had been sad, even if the someone was a furry person. In retrospect, I was compassionate to Grandma's dog and yet did not display any compassion toward my grandmother when I went to visit her spirit in her room.
I got down on my hands and knees to be closer to the small dog. Since pekinese dogs have bulging eyes, when I leaned over to rub my face against the dog's face, I accidently bumped its eye. The dog, naturally frightened (I thought), planted her sharp canine tooth in my left nostril. Naturally, I became frightened, then.
I ran downstairs to get my aunt to look at my nose. In her prime, Tia had been a nurse, so I trusted her opinion. Although I didn't need stitches, the dog's tooth had pierced a hole clear through the top of my left nostril. She cleaned it for me, and told me not to worry because the dog had been vaccinated.
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I was still mildly shocked as I returned to the kitchen to ponder the incident. I never imagined the dog would bite me because animals usually love me too much to do anything to hurt me. As I sat drinking my coffee, I had a flashback to when the dog actually bit me. Clearly, I realized that at the moment of tooth-nostril impact, I saw my grandmother's face.
My mouth open, amazed by what I just remembered, I thought, "No, she couldn't have made the dog bite me. Okay, if she influenced the dog, what was the motive?" Grandma loved me, I was sure, but if she had something to do with the dog biting me then there had to be a good reason.
I reflected on how I talked to my grandmother just before the dog bit me: "What if I was wrong and spirit souls were not automatically enlightened? What if my grandmother didn't even know she was not in a physical body? What if she did realize she was on the other side, and she didn't know how to make contact with other spirit-souls who could help her make the transition to the next phase? What if she felt trapped and helpless?" One way or another, if my conclusions about the afterlife process were off-base, then in her soul's mind, I was just plain rude. After all, she was my grandmother. I wasn't sure exactly what to do, but there was something I had to do to make it right between us, but most of all I had to do something to help her.
I walked to the bedroom door, took a deep breath, and walked in. I was so happy she was still there: the atmosphere was still out of balance. With my head slightly bowed, I walked to the middle of the room and sat down. I spoke to my grandmother, and I said, "Grandma, I apologize for being so rude to you. I'm sorry, please forgive me, but I thought you knew. It wasn't my intention to be rude, I was just confused about why you were still here in spirit.
"I know that you influenced your dog to bite me, and I forgive you. If the dog didn't bite me, I wouldn't be here with your now. I could have left Philadelphia without helping you, and God only knows how much longer your spirit would have remained in this room.
"Grandma, you don't need to be here anymore. Don't be afraid. You're in a better place where you are then when you were here. It's time for the next phase of your life, an easier phase than what you had experienced during my lifetime with you. I always felt you were a prisoner who was at the beck and call of others. I could be wrong, but this is the reason why I spoke to you the way I did before. I thought you were making yourself a prisoner again, and I love you too much to see you imprisoned when God's Kingdom is within your reach.
"Grandma, you are on the other side. I know that you don't know how to talk to me, so you don't have to, just listen. If you want to move on, just call for help. Ask the angels or your family and guides to come forward, to take your hand, and to lead you to the Light. You may not be able to see them, but they're there. All you have to do is call for them. They will come and guide you to the Light.
"It's up to you Grandma, but know, too, it is what I want for you. I want to know you are happy. I know that if you stay in this room, you won't be happy. So, reach out now for the angels, for your family, for your guides, to come and release you from this place."
I sat for a moment thinking about whether or not there was something more I could say or do. Within minutes, the atmosphere in the room began to change. The cold air was swept away by a flow of warmth. The eerie, heavy energy became light and airy. The room somehow seemed visually lighter and happier, gentler. I knew my grandmother had heard me, and that she wanted to move on as much as I wanted her to move on.
Hoping she hadn't left yet, I said, "Bye, Grandma. Remember I love you, and I know I'll be seeing you again."
I left the room with a smile on my face. The atmospheric conditions of the room were now equally matched with the rest of the house. Shortly after, my aunt came upstairs to get me settled for the night, and I told her Grandma wasn't in her room anymore. I took her to the room, and she noticed the difference immediately.
Although I missed the funeral and the burial, I got to participate in my grandmother's freedom from the dream-illusion we call life. I was comforted by the thought that I would never have to grieve for her, because, now, I knew she was alive, safe, and happy.
I also learned that just because the physical illusion passes away, it doesn't mean that the spirit-soul always passes from illusion to reality without some help. The best present my grandmother has ever given to me was the opportunity to help her move onto a new beginning. And to think, it was all possible because of a bite on
the nose. October 13, 1993
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Other Links to Me: Profile, Poetry Corner, Faith, Prayer & Manifestation, Life After Death, Grandma Moves On,
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