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The Magik of the CRONE "I am as a stone within this world, shaped by wind and time and ever changing. Though small and insignifigant now, someday I may be the foundation for a mountain."
Gwyllion Moon
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I am a "crone". By definition that would make me a .."withered old woman". But as often is, the definitiion itself was incorporated and interpeted by mankind for use as an abusive term to be used toward the more mature of the female species. I am not now, nor have I ever been truly beautiful on the outside. Average at best by most standards. But haven't we all been told that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" or that true beauty eminates from within? It seems as if what we are taught and what we actually practice, changes with age. Ah, my age. I am glorious in it. And so this older member of female humanity, writes. I write of the pains and joys that one experiences in order to earn the title, "crone". And I write of the long nights of visions which the heart endures in order to wear the name proudly. For it is the crone, the one who has seen life's greatness and has stood in awe of all that is, who understands. It is she that smiles while crying over old dreams so vivid in youth yet still unfullfilled. She whispers small reminders to herself of what she is to do next, for her memory is just a bit dimmer. Where only a decade ago she longed to have the years back, she now finds herself looking ahead to what the years to come will bring her at the moonrise of her existence. It is with this anticipation and knowing, that I write.
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We all have felt like hiding from the world from time to time, but when you reach a certain point in your life you realize that you can no longer hide from yourself. Your spirit screams out "Here I am!" but we do not look at ourselves for fear that what we will see is not what we had anticipated. How many times in your own life have you stopped and asked yourself, "Who am I?". How many different answers have you received throughout the years? I know that I have gotten a few more than I would have cared to deal with. Not all the answers were as positive as the one I rest easy with now. But at the time the question is asked, all answers are right! For at different times in our lives we have different answers. For in fact, we are many people in our own life. The years, the people around us and so many other factors contribute to the being we were, the one we are now and ultimately, the one we will become.
It is the "knowing" that you are changing that can frighten us. And yet, when you grow older and wiser and less preoccupied with the tasks of youth, the fear fades as the sun in winter. It becomes cool and distant, short lived and eventually, gone.
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Part of the "knowing" is confusion. That would seem like a strange statement I'm sure. But it is true. At this stage of life we feel more confused than not. We may feel alone yet comfortable in the being alone. We are a contradiction of mind and thought. But that very contradiction is exactly what will lead us to our truths.
According to the chronology of aging, "crone" would come to mean a woman after child bearing age. But it is far more than that. It is a woman who has been given a gift from life. It is the final stage of a womans existence within a lifetime and with that stage comes many things. Awareness is primary. An awareness of nature and her role within nature. An awareness of pathways, both the ones taken in years past and those yet to be travelled. And in a metaphysical sense, the awareness of her spirit and how she will choose to protect and project that spirit into the physical and non-physical realms.
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My suggestions for an easier transition into this phase of life would be to create as peaceful an environment around yourself as possible. This may involve music and/or chanting, aromatherapy, candles, stones or crystals. You may incorporate any objects which will render a calming effect. Ideally a private space would be the epitome of this transition. Always try to relax and breathe deeply for clarity and to instill a more profound sense of self.
It is in this private space and time that eventually you will have an "awakening" of sorts. A kind of re-birth at which time your past comes face to face with the future you have so conveniently set into your subconsious. The children, the life partner, the bills, the grocery shopping, yes all of these things that have clouded your mind for so long now, will simply become part of who you are rather than the "things" you needed to take care of. Even the most mondane of tasks will become easier to do and what you once thought of as a chore will now be just something else to do.
Once you have experienced your own awakening you will not forget it! You may hide or disguise it or even supress it for a while, but undeniably you cannot forget it. It will stir some powerful emotions. This my friend is your first step towards "knowing". Welcome it and use it to raise yourself to new heights and levels of achievement within all aspects of your life. It is a wondrous thing to experience. It can be very frightening for many of us but do not let the fear build walls around your very being. Do not hide from the world now and most importantly, from yourself.
May you always be inspired by the woman that you are... and understand the Magik of the Crone.
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For comments and/or questions please email GwyllionMoon
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My deepest thanks to Steve Bennett for permission to display his most beautiful graphics.
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