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Before you start looking
Before setting off to find a Coven, it is worth your effort to find yourself first. Ask yourself what it is you are looking for. To do this you must have some knowledge of Wicca. Because chances are you are a solitary, you may only have been able to form your opinions from books. Books are certainly necessary and useful, yet they may not be everything you need. Some books on the Craft are wonderful and quite useful. Many are mediocre and some even downright silly. If you read as much as you can, however, and familiarize yourself with the origins of Wicca and its beliefs, what kinds of traditions there are, what ritual is, what a Coven is, you will then be that much more prepared to tackle joining an established group.
You must ask yourself how much time you have in your life for Coven practice and training in the Craft. It is inconsiderate to your new teachers if you expect them to train you, yet have little time to devote to your studies. Wicca is not a six-month class, garnering you yet another degree or certificate to add to your collection. Wicca is a life-changing path in which it can take a good four years to achieve Third Degree. It is a commitment you and your instructor make to each other and to the God/dess. Many people have too much to handle in their daily lives without adding training in Wicca. If you think that you can call your instructor and cancel class every time you cannot find a baby sitter, your car breaks down, your boyfriend/girlfriend acts up, school exams are upon you, one or all of the above, then you may want to practice as a solitary until you can balance out your life. We have let go many students who cannot follow through because it is a waste of our time, as well as theirs. Wicca is and should be a spiritual path, self-empowering and growth-triggering. If all you want to do is wave a magick wand and call yourself a Witch, please look elsewhere.
When you finally do find a group that you feel will suit your needs, then you will be ready for the preliminary meeting and able to ask all the right questions. It is important that you ask as many questions as possible. During a preliminary meeting, the leader/s of the Coven will be asking you quite a few questions themselves. This is a two-way street. You have as much right to ask as many questions yourself, so that you know well who these people are. It is helpful if some members of the group are present, to share with you their own experiences. During this meeting you will be able to feel the group synergy and see if it is an energy with which you will be comfortable. It may be, or it may not.
What to and not to expect
You should expect that a group is a loving one that shares together. Its people can freely speak about their experiences. You may also want to look into how long the group has been together, and what turnover it has. If it seems that there is a revolving door where people come and go in a short time, there might be something wrong with the leadership. We can also tell you that many come and go quickly because although we are very clear about the difficulty of training, they give up the quest when they discover they really do have to do the work.
You should expect no charge for being trained. Wiccans will not charge to lead you through the ways of the Lord and Lady. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Now, do not feel that you are getting all of your teacher’s time and energy for free! You do pay back in dedication, respect, meeting your commitments and eventually, if you are initiated into the Coven, bringing items such as ritual candles, incense, food and other supplies the Coven uses.
Do not expect to be asked for sexual favours either. If you run into a Coven that expects you put out to be initiated, RUN! While this is rare in the Craft, it can happen. Most groups are very ethical. Sexual relationships inside the Coven structure is highly frowned upon. Yes, Covens do have long-standing couples within them, as we do, but these were established before one or both joined. The trouble here is that should the relationship hit the rocks, one or both end up leaving.
You should NOT expect the group to share everything with you at your meeting with them. After all, they do not know you. We had a person who was welcomed to participate in an open Sabbat, which we rarely do. She left and went on to tell someone else that we were cold and secretive (it is interesting how those things said eventually get back). There are some things this person did not think about. One is that we are a long-standing, bonded group. She would feel like an outsider no matter how warm and loving we would be. Another is that we are not in the habit of doing a Wicca 101 class during an open circle. It is not a ‘five-minute-come in-learn all you can’ evening! Expecting that of your prospective new group is unrealistic. It is unreasonable for you to blame the group should you find that your energies and the group’s do not match. No one is to blame. Chemistry is either there or it is not. Do you hit it off with every date you have? It is important to realize that we ALL have different energies. We mix well with some and not with others. It is a fact of life. Do not expect to flow well with everyone you meet in life, or you will be rather disappointed.
Ready to start
Once the preliminary meeting has ended and both you and the group feel there is a match between you, a starting class date is set. You are on your way to becoming a Coven member and an officially initiated Wiccan. It may take a good year before this happens, but if Wicca is for you and you are dedicated to your path, it will happen.
How a Coven is run
There are different ways a Coven can be run. Much of this depends on tradition (see our Traditions page). In our tradition, we use the long-standing system of hierarchy. This means First, Second and Third Degree as well as Eldering. Some progressive Wiccans have done away with this system only to find it was necessary and return to it.
Hierarchy, however, does not mean ego. Everyone is treated as equals. However, there are many things a Third degree will not discuss with a First degree. This is the so-called ‘secrecy.’ Many within the Craft frown upon this secrecy business and it is because of a lack of understanding. What many people do not realize is that secrecy is there to protect the person who is not yet ready for certain things. We have seen many crash and burn who were not ready for more advanced knowledge. Secrecy also allows the individual to share in the joys of finding things out in due time. A preschooler is not taught Algebra! As I (Laehar) look back to my own training and how I became ready for more growth as time went by, I am very thankful my teachers took their time and did not introduce me to everything at once. Each initiation was a new wonder. Do not expect a teacher to show you all the secrets and mysteries either. There are some you will have to get on your own as you are ready for them, and that can only be given to you by the God/dess. It is called life experience.
A High Priest and High Priestess (High Clergy) will usually lead the Coven. As people approach Third Degree, they start leading rituals and Coven functions in preparation for their High Clergy status. At no time should you experience ego from anyone. The ‘I know more than you do’ adage does not wash well. We ALL know more about something than someone else does. That is the beauty of it. We also KNOW enough to keep our mouths shut.
As a new member, you are usually voted into the Coven. This means that all Coven members voted you in unanimously. If one has an issue and cannot vote ‘yes,’ then you are not voted in until this is resolved. Everyone’s voice is heard and respected within a Coven. However, it usually takes a good year before you are ready to be voted into the Coven. This time period allows you to slowly adjust and bond with everyone. We find that people who cannot seem to achieve this end up leaving on their own, way before First Degree initiation even comes close.
Starting your own Coven
People write to us who, because of a lack of nearby Covens, wish to start their own. Many of them know little about Wicca and feel they will just learn as they go along. Learning at the expense of others who will join is not a good option. People who start Covens in this manner seldom consider this fact. We have known people who barely read a couple of books and then started their own Coven. Needless to say, their Covens are no longer standing and who knows how many sincere people they derailed from their spiritual paths?
It is customary (in most original traditions) to be a Third Degree High Priest/ess before one forms a Coven. This has granted you enough time to make mistakes and learn (hopefully within a Coven structure). Running a Coven is not an easy task and most who do have at one time or another wondered why in the world they started one in the first place! You are in a position to lead. That may sound lovely and enticing, but trust us, it is not all it is made out to be. You are responsible for being there, no matter what. People look up to you to be fair, balanced…and BE there. Whatever you feel like and whatever is happening in your life you have to BE there. Do you see a recurring word here? Of course, eventually as people start moving up the degree ladder you will expect THEM to be there as well. No one gets off for free.
As High Clergy, you are also supposed to know what you are doing. You may not know everything, no one ever does, but you know enough that you know what to do when problems rise, and you will handle these problems well. People respect you without your having to demand it. If you are not prepared, you will crash and people will leave. We have seen it happen many times in many groups. The Coven into which we were initiated still has a proverbial ‘revolving door’ and people keep leaving because of the disorganization, the "clicks", the egos and the chaos. People are still with us who came to us soon after the Coven was founded and some have even Hived Off and run their own Sister Coven.
Why Be in a Coven?
I cannot tell you that being in a Coven is essential. Many of us have practiced solitary as well as within a Coven. There are many positives and negatives about being in a Coven or about practicing as a solitary. We are individuals and as such we function in our own way. Some people are group-oriented and some are not. Some who are not group-oriented end up in a group situation anyway (look at Laehar and Hecate!). As a solitary you can practice anyway that suits you, whenever you wish. You also lack the excitement of celebrating with like-minded individuals. Learning on your own may not give you the necessary push to learn as much as you can and can result in many gaps in your training. Learning from a good and well-experienced teacher has no equal to any book. Being initiated by another person, after we worked very hard, is an amazing experience.
However, we do believe that when we are ready, the teacher will appear. When we are ready, so will the Coven. Forcing things is never good. Yes, you may feel ready and search for a Coven. However, if a Coven does not seem to come easily, you may not be ready after all. Many times what we think we want and what we actually need are two different things. May you find your path and may it be joyous.
For an in-depth view of training within a Coven structure we recommend reading the late Ellen Cannon-Reed's wonderful work 'The Heart of Wicca.'
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