The Hidden Dynasty

By ladonnadelmare@hotmail.com (Branwyn Harrison)

Title: The Hidden Dynasty

Disclaimer: I am George Lucas. No, really. Gimme a sec to prove it by showing you how dense I am.

Characters: Sabe. My personal vision of Sabe. I hope it doesn't bother anyone, but it's rather heterodox. ^_^

Be WARNED: It's kinda long. And there's more to come. So.... yeah. I warned

Star Wars: The Hidden Dynasty

"Keep on looking ahead

Let your heart not forget

That we are not home yet." -- SCC

I need not tell those who read this testament of the great evil that now holds the galaxy in its thrall. Nor need I describe the character of the man who holds me now in his arms. I am Lia Mili, and I am Palpatine's whore.

I feel no remorse now. No anger. Nothing at all do I feel, lying where I do. It must needs be that way or I will surely go mad, for if I felt anything I would have to feel everything. I will be dead soon; I don't expect to last more than a year. Palpatine is no different than any other powerful man, for all his wizardry. He will grow paranoid and slowly rid himself of all those near him. I will be among the first. If I did not believe this wholeheartedly, I would end it myself now. I carry a child, and for her sake (I have felt her already) I will be spared a certain time... I try to convince myself that life is worth living, for her sake. But I can do nothing for her from where I am. Only perhaps, on the other side...

Most of the story will already be known to you; I will tell you what remains, the small piece of the story that is mine. For Obi- Wan, alone in the reaches of the swirling desert, for Amidala, dying slowly of her own sorrow, and for my father-- blessed is he that is spared the knowledge of these things. I will tell what remains, that my daughter may know the truth about her double edged heritage.

Qui- Gon Jinn adopted me from the streets of Coruscant when I was thirteen years old. I had never known a family; when he found me, I was working days in a tavern, sleeping nights in an alley. I was sensitive to the Force, but I had no way of knowing this until the day I first came to the Temple, begging for work, for money, for food... I would have been turned away out of hand by the well meaning but ultraorthodox Padawan who met me at the door if Qui- Gon Jinn had not been in the immediate proximity. He questioned me at some length over a meal that seemed a feast to me then; at its conclusion, he led me to a room within the Temple and I immediately fell asleep. It did not seem strange to me then that he should do this thing for me, nor did it seem odd that I should trust him as instinctively as I sought air to fill my lungs. If there were raised so much as a murmur of protest against the fact that I was brought to stay in the Temple sans training or teaching for the first thirteen years of my life, I heard nothing of it-- it seems to me now that there must have been something of a row, but Qui- Gon sheltered me from it so that I never had cause to imagine that I was not entirely welcome there. Perhaps he sensed that, for an orphan, there are few things greater than to feel unquestionably accepted. It would be very like him to want to give me that.

When I was eighteen, I left the Temple. I did not become a Padawan. Although I went through the classes and studied with the masters to make up for the time I had not had as a younger child, I felt that it would be presumptuous of me to take the place of a hopeful twelve year old who had waited from earliest consciousness to train as a Knight. I was wise in the ways of the Force, (inasmuch as an eighteen year old human girl might be) and I was an unparalleled swordsman, but I never had my own lightsaber. Again, it seemed presumptuous. I was grateful enough for the home and guidance the Temple had provided me for five years.

Qui- Gon was ever present in my life, which was faintly miraculous, as I was lucky if I managed to spend time with him once a month. I did not have to be told that our relationship was an odd one, between a Jedi Master and one who would never even be a Padawan (his or anyone else's), but I did not question how I came to be blessed with him, or how he could have looked at me, of all the children who ran homeless on the streets of Coruscant, and found love in his heart. When one is given very few precious things in a lifetime, one learns not to question any of them too closely.

When I decided to leave the Temple, I asked a few of the Masters on the Council to help me find a place suited to my rather unique talents. My adoptive father would have provided for me had I wished to simply bide my time in an elegant apartment somewhere, but such did not suit me. Only a week or so after issuing the request, I received an invitation via the Council from the government of the Naboo system; their newly elected Queen required an assembly of handmaidens and guardians as part of her entourage, and the chief among them would be the queen's personal bodyguard and double in cases of dire need. The position

required a young woman of maturity, breeding, and specialized defense skills. I was elated;

the position seemed custom crafted for me.

I was not able to see my father before I left the Temple. I sent him a message through a holovid, explaining my pleasant new circumstances and expressing my desire that he visit me at the royal palace of Naboo. Taking my leave then of Master Yoda, Mistress Billaba, and Master Windu, I left for Naboo.

I was a bit nervous. In the Temple, we were taught courtly manners of etiquette and protocol until we were sick unto death at the mere sight of a protocol droid, but I wasn't sure if this came under the heading of any of the diplomatic training I had received. I had never associated with royalty before, not even democratically elected royalty (I had difficulty deciding if that would make things more or less intimidating.) I was unprepared for Amidala, though. Upon arriving, I took the Naboo name of Sab�, for professional purposes, because it sounded more regal, more intimidating, than Lia. When I was taken to meet Amidala, I was

stricken by her ornamental dress and affected manner, and I was preparing to drop a deep curtsy; when I was introduced, however, she immediately swooped down from her chair atop the pedestal and threw her arms around me. I was too taken aback to return the gesture, but when she pulled back she looked straight into my eyes. "You and I will have each other now, for the rest of our lives."

I discovered quickly thereafter just what she meant. She and I, more so than any of the other handmaidens, were required to spend a great deal of concentrated time together, perfecting complex codes of stratagem and signaling, knowing that our lives and the fate of Naboo could well depend upon it some day.

I was surprised, when I first met her, by how young Amidala was. There was nearly a five year gap between us, yet she carried herself with such strength and assurance that she reminded me of one who had passed through training at the Temple. I grew fond of her very quickly, and just as quickly grew protective; my nineteenth birthday passed shortly after coming to Naboo, and after me, Eirtae, who was sixteen, was the oldest of the handmaidens. I was a sort of den mother to them all, and I enjoyed the role. Another throwback to my orphan heritage, I supposed-- it is comforting to know that one is needed. Amidala (or Am�, as I came to know her) depended a great deal on her own strength, but there were times when she was simply too tired to be all that she was expected to be. During these times I took care of petty administrative details, and tried to impart to her strength in much the same way that Qui- Gon had buoyed me during my hours of greatest need.

I had been at Amidala's side for almost one year when the Trade Federation imposed their blockade on the Naboo system.

Intervention had been requested of the Galactic Senate, and they had responded by requesting the services of the Jedi. I sensed, even before I was informed, that my father and his Padawan were the Jedi who would assist us. I knew I would have to take care in front of him; he was not aware as to the depth of my services to the Queen, only that I was a lady in waiting of some sort. This weighed heavily on my mind as I realized that the Queen he would be addressing would not be Amidala-- for the moment the invasion was confirmed, I gave Amidala the signal to meet me in her chambers.

"We must switch roles now," I informed her.

She hesitated. "Surely not until..."

I cut her off. "Your Highness, the forces of the viceroy will be here any moment. When they arrive, the Queen will certainly be arrested and taken prisoner. If we do not exchange places now, we will not have the chance again." Amidala, while conscious of the security reasons behind the decoy tradition, loathed the idea of another person facing danger in her stead. I knew that this was one of those moments in which I would have to be the decisive one. "Now, Am�."

The Trade Federation invaded Theed as I had predicted, only moments after I descended in the royal costume. A mixture of fear and adrenaline coursed through me as I stood before the great window in the foyer. The situation frightened me sick, though not for the reasons it frightened Am� and the others. I knew that my father and his Padawan were near, and would almost certainly make an appearance this very day. They would see to our personal safety. But as an erstwhile Jedi apprentice, I had many times observed the proceedings of the Galactic Senate, and I knew them to be a bumbling, rotten lot of career oriented leeches who acted decisively on precisely nothing. Our plea had been submitted, but I was less than hopeful that anything on the Senate's part would be done about it.

The viceroy arrived; we were arrested, and as they were herding us through the courtyard to a transport, my father and his Padawan made a characteristically subtle entrance, slashing and burning battle droids left and right before sheathing their lightsabers and whisking us into thehanger where awaited the transport.

I avoided looking my father in the eye; although my mental shield were up against him, he was far too perceptive to miss what sat right before him unless it were subtly manipulated into obscurity. "Your Highness," he addressed me, "I would like you to come with me to Coruscant."

And here I was faced with an executive decision. I knew that he spoke sense, and I wanted to comply, but the choice was not mine.

I turned to face the handmaidens, glancing at each of them until my eyes came to rest upon Padm�-- Am�. "Either choice presents grave danger-- for all of us."

"We are brave, Your Highness," Am� responded quietly, but with a determination in her eyes that only one as acquainted with them as I would be able to read.

I nodded, and allowed myself to be escorted onto the transport.

After the struggle involved in getting out of the hanger and through the blockade, the Marie Celeste was in no shape to travel; we all but crash landed on a desert planet called Tatooine. Our first morning there, my father made plans to ask about town for the missing parts to the ship.

Am� spoke to me excitedly while we were alone in her chambers. "I want to go with him."

"Under absolutely no circumstances!" I declared, feeling like a mother.

"You've never seen these places, you have no idea how hideous they are. You'll trip over your feet and find yourself on a transport to a black hole somewhere."

"It is precisely because I have never seen anything like this place before that I wish to see it now. I must know things about the way people live their lives if I am to be any sort of queen."

I was still not satisfied. "Take your place here again. Let me go for you; I'll tell you everything you want to know."

Amusement gleamed in her eye. "Yes, certainly, Sab�. Why don't you show yourself to Master Jinn without the headdress and makeup?"

I fumed as I realized that she was right; I could hardly expect to go without Amidala's disguise if I wanted to hide my identity from my father. "Very well then. But don't let some street vendor sell you a mynock skin purse or I will pull your teeth from your head."

Captain Panaka was every inch as reluctant as I, but he, too, gave out in the end. I found myself alone on the transport, or as good as alone; I had never been able to talk much with Eirtae, or Rab�, not even when we were home. Yan� and Rab� were best friends, and had grown up alongside Eirtae. Sach� and I found it difficult to pierce their exclusive sorority, so I eventually stopped trying. I was comfortable with Sach�, but she and Yan� had remained on Naboo. A faint worry

With Father gone, I decided that there was no need to wear the disguise. Eventually--certainly before we left the atmosphere of this planet-- I would have to reveal myself to him anyway. I changed clothes, so that I wore neither the Queen's dress, nor the flame colored gown with the despicable mynock billed hood that I hated so, but black trousers and a loosely belted black tunic over a white shirt. My hair, which was blonde and therefore had to be covered at all times when I was the queen, I twisted up onto my head.

I walked idly through the ship and found no relief for my indolence, so I at last gave up. In a small, empty ante chamber, I dropped to the ground and assumed a meditation stance. I needed to focus; Am� needed the benefit of my reason at its peak. I spent several minutes simply breathing before I entered a transcendental state.

Time passes oddly when one is in such a state and I do not know how long it was from the time I took my place to the time I felt another presence attempt to join me there. I was so startled that I immediately withdrew from my meditation and my eyes flew open. I had been joined by Obi-Wan Kenobi, my father's Padawan.

"I feel that I should know you," he said.

"Feelings are to be mistrusted," I replied. "They more often than not mislead."

"Nevertheless," he insisted. "Your face and voice... (your presence, his mind said)... they are familiar to me."

"I trained five years in the Temple," I admitted, just to see his expression. If he thought there was anything unusual to the fact that a student of the Temple was now a Queen's handmaiden rather than a Padawan in her own right, he said nothing.

"But you are- how old?"

"Recently nineteen."

"I am twenty six. We would have been in the Temple at the same time then, but not for long..."

"I did not begin training until I was thirteen." This was bound to strike him as odd, as thirteen was the traditional age at which Human apprentices left the Temple to become Padawan.

Surely enough, he looked at me in confusion. "The only instance in which that was permitted..." I fixed him steadily with my gaze. "But you could not be her."

"You are so certain?" I smiled. "Please have a seat, Master Kenobi. I don't believe we've met formally. I am Lia, but here I am known as Sab�."

He blinked, but to his credit, he recovered quickly, dropping to his knees and joining me in meditation stance. "It is a pleasure to finally meet my master's daughter."

"And I, my father's son, for I assure you he regards you as such."

"I don't seem to recall seeing you among the Queen's ladies."

"I purposely remain out of the public eye. I am... shall we say... a secret weapon. But I have been in your company since you first rescued us from Naboo."

"It seems to me that Qui- Gon would have expected to see you among the Queen's ladies. I wonder that he hasn't asked after you."

"The fact that he has not leads me to believe that he has felt my being somewhere near, and guessed that I had to hide myself for some justifiable reason. I will show myself to him when he returns, however. I would like to spend time with him...before..." A strange flash of sorrow hit me suddenly, left me reeling. Obi- Wan frowned; I shook it off. It seemed attributable to simple homesickness for my father's company. "I have not seen him in far too long."

Obi- Wan nodded slowly, but the moment was broken as Captain Panaka showed himself. "We've just received a transmission from Naboo." His eyes rested on me. "Sab�, we need the Queen."

I instantly perceived his meaning and rose, without so much as a gesture of leave taking to Obi- Wan. "I will fetch her."

Eirtae and Rab� were still within the royal apartments. They dressed me in record time,then accompanied me to the throne room, taking their seats at the right and left of me. When we arrived, I noticed Obi- Wan studying their faces underneath their hoods, expecting to see my face on one of them; confusion registered when he didn't.

The transmission began and Sio Bibble's faltering form appeared. He spoke no more than forty five seconds but in that time my stomach turned to lead and I began to feel ill. "Hundreds of thousands..." Eirtae whispered under her breath; Rab� began to cry quietly.

Obi- Wan rose, his demeanor changed from our brief time together moments earlier. He was mature, decisive, and authoritative. "It's a trap."

I looked directly at him without opening my mouth. //Are you certain?//

He stared at me in surprise, and recognition quickly flashed over his face. I had not meant to betray myself exactly this way, but the damage was done. Aloud, he repeated himself. "It's a trap. Send no transmission of any kind."

As soon as Panaka departed, I picked up the skirts of my voluminous robes in both hands and ran after Obi- Wan. I discovered that he stood in the corridor, awaiting me.

"Lia Jinn is not the Queen of Naboo." He regarded me under arched, satiric eyebrows. "How long has it been you under the makeup?

"It has always been me. You have yet to see Amidala."

"Which of your companions is the Queen?" I was silent, and he smiled. "Never mind. Foolish question."

"Are you absolutely certain that the transmission is just a trap?" I asked him urgently.

"*Just* a trap?" He trailed off. "It was, absolutely, a trap. I cannot, however, certify that it was false." His face was grim. "The purpose of sending a transmission was to establish a connection trace, which they could make if we were foolish enough to respond. But I am afraid that what Bibble said may well be true."

I shut my eyes tightly; under the white paint my face was pale. I held the doorway for support. I could feel Obi- Wan looking down on my ornamented head.

I did not speak for a while. "Tell me, Master Padawan, wherein lies the sin; to feel the rage, or to act upon it?" I took a ragged breath. "If the former, I am paving hell with an energy."

"You are working on the Jedi SuperHighway then, because a hundred thousand have gone before you feeling precisely thus." He regarded me seriously. "You are very fond of Naboo?"

"I had begun to consider her my homeworld, as I am none too certain which is my true one." I looked away. "The people, Obi- Wan-- they are peaceful, they have no heavy artillery, they love culture and beauty and living things, and some fiends with a hundred thousand battle droids takes it upon themselves to obliterate those people for no reason! And the Galactic Senate will stand by and let it happen until there is nothing left of her." I was trembling. "If the Jedi did not exist there would be nothing left of justice in the universe!"

I immediately snapped back into myself, almost falling still paler under the realization of the error I had just made. The Queen-- that is to say, whoever was wearing the robes at the time--absolutely could not make the sort of display I had just made. Am�'s life, as well as mine, depended on us rigidly controlling ourselves within the costume.

Obi- Wan placed a hand on my shoulder. "Lia-- Sab�-- you must not lose faith. At least the Senate had the wit to send us to you. And we will do our best for you; you know that."

I nodded, and drew myself up straight. "I know."

I went back to the royal chambers shortly after that, removing the ceremonial robes once again and putting on the clothes I had worn before we intercepted the transmission. I spent more time in meditation, trying not to dwell on the sickness of grief in my heart, both for Naboo, and for the knowledge of what that transmission would do to Am� when she saw it. She returned not too long afterward, and I explained things to her as best I could. I was with her when she watched it for the first time, and held her as she wept. She went into her chambers and I did not see her again for the rest of the afternoon. Always the Queen, I knew that she was trying her best to assimilate what had happened so that she could formulate a course of action.

Some time later, a commotion drew me out of meditation. I entered the next room to see my father's huge form drop heavily to the floor, panting and exhausted. Icy terror shot through me-- I had never seen him so much as fazed by physical activity before. Without thinking, I ran across the room and dropped to my knees at his side, hardly heeding the two figures that entered from the opposite doorway, reaching him only a second later.

"Father--" I put my hands on his shoulders, waiting for him to acknowledge me.

Still breathing hard, he looked up and into my face. After a moment, he smiled, and took my hand. "I'm all right."

"What was that, Master?" I realized then that it was Obi- Wan crouched beside me.

My father shook his head. "I don't know. But he was well trained the Jedi arts," he replied. "My guess is that it was a Sith lord."

I felt my blood slow in its veins. "What on earth are you talking about? There are no such things as Sith, not anymore."

He held my gaze for a long moment. //I would have never thought so either.//

Then he drew a deep breath. "Well, at any rate...." He indicated the second of my companions. I looked at him, to discover that he was a child, a small, fair haired boy. "I would like you to meet Anakin Skywalker."

Obi- Wan looked at him then very seriously shook his hand. "This is my apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi. And this," Anakin turned to me, "is Sab�, a friend of Padm�'s."

I smiled to myself; my suspicions that Qui- Gon had all along known the difference between myself and Am� were confirmed. I also shook Anakin's hand. I liked him instantly; his big blue eyes were kind, if timid, and full of curiosity. I could not remember if I'd ever been like that as a child; I hadn't been one long enough to find out.

When Qui- Gon retreated to his own chamber, I came with him, closing the door softly behind us. He took a seat in a chair, and I sat on the edge of the bed across from him.

"You didn't tell me the nature of your duties to the Queen," he said, too gently to be accusing, but otherwise in that vein.

"I couldn't. Only the other handmaidens and Captain Panaka know. And Obi-Wan. We made each other's acquaintance while you were gone."

"You do your job admirably. I am very proud of you."

I tried not to blush. He always made me blush. "But what of you? What was behind your running onto the ship half dead in that manner?"

He looked very grave; though his manner was habitually serious, I had rarely seen him so concerned. "As I was bringing Anakin back from the village, I was attacked by a warrior. He was dressed all in black, and he battled with a lightstaff."

"And he battled like a Jedi?"

"He battled with far greater skill than any Jedi I have ever known. Had the ship not caught up with me when it did..." He shook his head, and I was afraid.

"Did he have something to do with that child? Where does he come from, anyway?"

"I doubt very much it has anything to do with Anakin. I encountered Anakin by chance in a spare parts shop. He and his mother were slaves."

I felt my eyebrows arch involuntarily. "You didn't even have the money for the parts to

the ship, are you telling me you stole this boy?"

"He won his own freedom. He defeated half of Tatooine in a pod race."

I stared incredulously. "A child *that* size won a pod race?"

"He's special." My father looked very thoughtful. "I can't put my finger on it, but he is...extraordinary, in many ways. His midi chlorian reading is astronomical. I've no real idea what to make of him, but finding him was the will of the Force. I just couldn't leave him behind."

"What of the boy's mother?"

He sighed, his eyes heavy. "We hadn't the resources to free her."

I winced, knowing how painful that parting must have been. "We will return for her."

"I hope so." He looked past me, out a window.

I rose and walked to that window. The stars were streaks of hyperspace light. "There is

some greater shadow over this venture."

"I have felt it as well." Of course he had.

"It should." I heard the chair creak as he rose.

"It frightens me also," I continued, "that we live in times such as these, times in which weface the possibility of losing each other at any moment, that I never see you. Aside from Am�, you are all I have in the universe, and I do not want to waste what may be the little time we have together."'

"I know," he said quietly. "I, also, have mourned the circumstances that keep us apart. It is not something I offer excuses before; we have both been busy with out own lives. But I will be more diligent in the future, I promise you."

I went to him then, and embraced him tightly. "I am proud of you, do you know that? You are the galaxy's hero."

He laughed. "Then I cannot help but bemoan the state of the galaxy."

I spent the rest of the evening with him, and slipped out of his chambers in the early hours of what would have been morning on Naboo.

A snarled, tangled mess was all that was left of the Galactic Senate when we arrived on Coruscant. I, and I alone, attended Am� during her meeting with Senator Palpatine as they discussed the situation.

I hated Palpatine. I was not precisely certain why; he had never shown me any offense (in fact, at times, he was overly charming to me; he seemed to favor me for some odd reason, while he never paid attention to the rest of the handmaidens.) I was too young, too untrained at the time to understand that for some, the Force reveals itself in the gift of prophecy. I think now that I am glad I did not realize it at the time; had I known then what I would have to endure I do not know if I would have had the courage to see it through. My dislike was prominent in my spirit as I stood quietly to the side, listening to Palpatine's ineffectual prattling and the subtle prodding it attempted to veil. I knew that he had an agenda of some sort, though *what*,

I couldn't imagine. I decided that I would bring it to Am�'s attention at the first opportunity. Though precocious and able beyond her years, with her age came the inevitable handicap of a certain naivet�. But then, that was what she had me for.

My heart clenched as Am� told Palpatine that she intended to return to Naboo. In her place, I would have done the same. However, her safety, as usual, was at the forefront of my mind. Let her stay here. *I* could take care of Naboo.

Palpatine seemed to echo my sentiments. "Please, your Highness, stay here where it's safe!" he called, as we made our way towards the door. It seemed to me in that instant that I had never heard a more insincere

passage of words from anyone's mouth in all my life. I turned, slowly, and looked at him through narrowed eyes. He was gazing after us, his withered mouth touched with just the faintest hint of a smile. A smile

that, to me, seemed cold and just a touch reptilian.

A wave of repulsion came over me then, as he touched his fingers to his lips just as I followed Am� out the door.

We boarded the ship and started the return flight to Naboo. Amidala had resumed the wearing of the robes, and I was free to be Sab�. We were such a close company in the ship however, that it almost didn't matter; the only one uninitiated to our secret was the pilot.

Obi- Wan found me where I knelt, unable to even meditate, so caught up was I in my feelings. "How does the Queen fare?"

"She is anxious. As am I. As are we all."

Obi- Wan nodded. "As are we all. I take it you were able to spend time with your father?"

"Yes. Obi- Wan, I am suddenly dreadfully afraid." My premonitions were growing stronger every hour, not in the form of visions, but in apprehension, feeling. "I feel like we are going to fight and die in vain against whatever lies in wait for us. I can't shake it."

"Remind me not to come to you the next time I need a pep talk," he quipped. "I hope it isn't as bad as all that."

"So do we all hope," I whispered the reply.

Shortly before we arrived back at Naboo, Amidala and I switched places again. I nearly broke down in the process, and Am�, so unused to seeing me this condition, wept. I realized, for the first time since the blockade began, what serious danger we were all in. I realized that these might well be the last moments that Am� and I had together. "I love you," I whispered to her. "You and my father are all I have. Please be careful." If only I could run out and stop the world to wipe away evil with a single blow. If only I could lock Am� and my father into a room together until the battle was over.

I wore the Queen's battle uniform. I hated the thing-- it was hideous. The spreading red and black fan of a headdress just seemed to stand up and proclaim, "Here I am! Shoot me now!" But I'd rather have worn it myself than given it to Am�.

We made our way to the Gungan sacred place, and approached the leader, a voluminous toad by the name of Boss Nass. I knew that I was supposed to make some sort of overture to him, but I was uncertain; I didn't know exactly how far Am� wanted me to prostrate myself before him. I was a bit relieved when she stepped to the front and revealed herself, though I found it a bit humiliating to kneel to the amphibious creature. I glanced momentarily to the side of me, and my heart contracted, thinking how gallant and noble my father looked, kneeling on one knee, rather than on two, as the women did. His Padawan, close at his side, was also very handsome and regal looking. If such a one-- or two-- can exist in this galaxy, there is maybe hope for us all.

We made our way to the Palace. It killed me-- I could see it also infuriated Am�-- to see the battle droids and Trade Federations gnomes crawling all over our beautiful home. We entered a hanger in the back and the droids came after us. Just before the battle, my father had given me a lightsaber. "I know you refused one when you left the Temple," he said, "but I can't stand the idea of you without it. It's yours; I constructed it for you." I kept it close at hand until we met the droids, when I pulled it out (nearly causing Rab� to faint) and found that the training of five years had not deserted me-- I was no match for Qui- Gon or Obi- Wan, but I held my own.

Then the destroyers were gone; a moment of silence passed between us, and in that instant, the red and black horned devil appeared just ahead, arms folded, waiting for the first to challenge him. I recognized him instantly from Father's description.

My stomach dropped; my blood froze. I looked only briefly at the Sith, for my eyes were trained on my father. It was in that instant that I understood that my flashes were not paranoia, but prescience. And in that instant, I knew, beyond hoping or dreaming, that I would never see my father alive again. Even if I were to accompany him now to his demise, I would not be able to impede it in any way. I looked from Am�, to my father, and back again, and in my heart I made what was, at the time, the hardest decision of my life. I could be there for my father's last moments of life; or I could accompany Am�, and guard her as I was intended to.

I met my father's eyes; he was looking directly at me. All the world around us seemed to freeze for an eternal few seconds.

//Father!// My anguish nearly overwhelmed me. //My Father... I love you so.//

I saw it in his face. He knew that he was going to his death. There was sorrow in his eyes--for me, for Obi- Wan-- but mostly, there was peace. He was not afraid. //And I love you. Precious Lia, little lily, I love you.//

Then he was gone. I was standing there, clutching his lightsaber in my hand. Alone.

I turned, and saw Am� waiting expectantly. No. Not alone.

"Come this way," I told her. "I have a plan."

I turned and walked stridently toward the throne room, without a backward glance at the

Obi- Wan came to me privately that night, after we had all retired, exhausted after our victory, to distant quarters of the palace. I was touched, through my own grief, by the deep sorrow in his eyes.

"I know," I said softly, to spare him the grief of vocalizing it.

He nodded, and looked down.

"He loved you, Obi- Wan. He said so to me, often. You were in his heart when he passed to the other side." It seemed natural to comfort him, though I had no one to do the same for me.

He looked at me bold in the face. I could not bear up under the power of that relentless grey gaze. I began to weep, deeply, brokenly, the sobs that came now at last racking me so that I could hardly stand. After a second or so, I did not need to exert the effort. I felt Obi- Wan's strong arms encircle me, holding me close, then lifting me and carrying me to my bed. He placed me there with familial tenderness and lay beside me for I know not how long; our tears and sorrow mingled into a single stream.

//Father// My spirit cried out, though my head cursed my foolishness. //Father...//

My lachrymal glands had ceased to empathize with my heart by the time of his funeral, so it was with a dry, burning pain that I saw his body disposed of. I stood between Obi- Wan and Am�, the child Anakin at Obi- Wan's hand. When all had been done, I turned to leave and saw Senator Palpatine directly in my path.

"My dear child." He took my hand. "I cannot begin to express my deep sympathy for you. If ever I can do anything at all for you, do not hesitate to see me."

It was all I could do to not wrench my hand away from him. Through gritted teeth, I thanked him tersely, and stalked away.

Obi- Wan walked quickly to catch up to me. "What was that about?"

I did not look at him, or reply. He lifted my face with a hand under my chin and looked down at me seriously. "Does he... has he ever..."

Despite the circumstances, I battled an urge to laugh. No matter his Jedi training, in him ran the hot red blood of a young man ready to do battle on behalf of a lady's honor. I confess to being tempted to share my feelings about him, but the day was full of tension already, so I dispelled Obi- Wan's concerns by waving the matter aside.

The day would come when I regretted that decision with all my being.

______________________________________________________

It has been six months since I began to write this testament.

Losing my father was the first in a chain of events, that, over the next ten years, changed life as we knew it, for all the galaxy, as well as for those who had loved him. History will speak to you of the political events that conspired to make Palpatine first, Chancellor, then, President.

In the beginning, things seemed to be changing for the better, but is that not the way with the ascent of every despot? It was not until we found ourselves battling for our survival-- our very right to existence-- that we realized the nature of the viper at our bosom. It was a fight only three of us won.

Obi- Wan and I became lovers in relatively short order after the Battle of Theed. The only people seemingly surprised by it were Obi- Wan and myself. It was the most natural thing in the world to love him. At first we were friends, passionately united by the fires of loss. We soon discovered that there were worlds between us that had nothing to do with Qui- Gon, and we eagerly set to exploring them.

During this time period, I at last finished my training as a Jedi. It was Obi- Wan who insisted on this. "These times are danerous," he would say, "and having you untrained would be like carrying an unloaded blaster into battle." I studied, at first, for his sake, then for my father's. I realized that he must have foreseen my becoming a Knight, and to the very end, I carried the lightsaber he constructed for me with his own hands. The training became a cathartic force for wholeness during those first crucial months after the Battle of

Theed. Two years afterwards, the Jedi Council conferred upon me the level of Knight.

Ten years after the Battle of Theed, I was twenty-nine. Obi- Wan would shortly be thirty-six. Amidala was twenty-four and Anakin Skywalker was nineteen. Am� was yet Queen of Naboo, unanimously and consistently re-elected year after year. She had matured into an elegant, gracious and wise young woman. Anakin, now Obi- Wan's grave young Padawan, courted her with a silent enthusiasm that was sweeping her off her feet.

Though I was a Jedi, my loyalty to Amidala did not waver, and I had no wish to leave her service. Because Obi- Wan wished to have a home for Anakin during the early years of his training, they, too, took up residence in Theed. Those years were innocent, and happy with my life, my love, and my duties, the spectre of darkness that had haunted me since my father's death began to retreat, driven back by the light that filled my days and soothed my nights.

Obi- Wan spent a great deal of time worrying after his apprentice. The death of Anakin's mother five years earlier had dealt him a devastating blow. He was fourteen at the time, and had just begun to free his spirit from the shackles of slavery that had bound him for the first nine years of his life. Snatches of sun were beginning to peek through his grey manner, but when word had come of his mother's death after an attempt to purchase her freedom, the shadows crept in again. Only when he was near Amidala, whom, Obi- Wan confided to me, reminded Anakin of his mother very much, did he seem to accept any light from life. I could see, by the way Obi- Wan's gaze would follow his apprentice, his brow puckered, that he sensed turmoil

beneath the calm veneer. I felt for the boy as well, but I had never managed to cultivate anything other than a rather impersonal acquaintance with him. Am�, however, assured me of his radiant virtue.

I awoke one morning in the early spring to find Obi- Wan kneeling beneath a window on the east side of the room. He was not relaxed, which is what he should have been if he were meditating. I climbed softly from the bed and joined him, kneeling at his side, but I did not speak.

"The darkness is rising," he said at last in a voice that was not a whisper, yet so low that I hardly understood him.

"From where, love?" He was not given to speaking poetry, and I was chilled by the weight

that had descended upon him.

"I don't know. I can't tell. It frightens me... it lies so calmly beneath the surface, yet so pervasively, that it seems to be in all things." He closed his eyes. "It clouds our future and muddles our past. I do not like it."

"Obi- Wan, we cannot afford to borrow trouble against today. These visions of what will be... I have them too, but they cannot be trusted. The future is always in motion."

"They are not visions. They are mere feelings. Yet they stay with me at all times." He sighed deeply, and rested his head against my shoulder. "I fear sometimes that we will be caught away into the stream of time and all that we have fought for here will pass away."

"They cannot pass away. We have not fought for a city, or a nation, or a system of government, but for justice, and freedom, and the people we love. Those things are immutable. They will remain even when Theed is dust, and the Republic is a memory."

"As long as you are always here to tell me these things, nothing will shake my belief in them," he replied.

"Even if I am not able to speak them so that you will hear, I will always be near enough to whisper them to your heart. So you will never have an excuse to stop listening."

"I am convinced," he said, and then conversation was lost for some time.

That afternoon I was set to meet with President Palpatine. He had requested an audience with the Queen some time earlier, and she had been loathe to grant it. Though I had never mentioned my unease with the man, Amidala had eventually come to the same frame of mind. The idea of being in an enclosed space with him was enough to nauseate her. I was no more thrilled than she at being with him for an extended period of time, but I thought I was more equipped to handle the situation than she so I offered to switch places with her, something we rarely did anymore. There was nothing that Amidala knew concerning the government that I did not also know.

Obi- Wan was none too thrilled by the idea of my substituting for her in this situation. I had tried to veil it, but he had noticed that the nature of Palpatine's attentions to me were not always paternal, or even platonic. There was little question of jealousy, for he knew that I despised the man, but it was also for that reason that he disliked my having to go.

"I could not be more immune to his attentions," I said, more to convince myself than him. "He thinks I am Amidala, and not even he would so bold..."

"You may not fool him as the double," Obi- Wan warned quietly. "He is Force sensitive."

"I know," I replied, feeling a bit ill. I had realized it for some time, as, I knew, had Obi-

Wan, but this was the first time we had admitted it aloud to each other.

And though the meeting was short and uneventful to the point that I don't even remember

now what we discussed, and though for an hour he gave no sign of recognizing me as anyone

other than Queen Amidala of the Naboo, I realized, as my blood crystallized into ice, that his

motives in calling the meeting and predictions as to who would arrive were not natural. I began to

make my way to the door, and he caught my hand-- something he would never have dared do

with the Queen. And then he touched my mind.

//You are young and beautiful, and Naboo is not the height of the power to

which you might ascend// His eyes bore into me. //You would make a wonderful Queen.//

I tore my hand away, too absolutely repulsed by the reptilian feel of his mind against mine to react as I should have, which was to have him arrested by the guard just outside the door. I returned to the palace; I told Amidala very little of the meeting, and said nothing of it to Obi- Wan (though he sensed something from me, and his mood was dark and tense for the rest of the day). What I found unusual, even though the haze of disgust that would not leave me, so violated did I feel, was the way Anakin's eyes seemed to follow me from then on. I would see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, though he would avert his gaze when I turned to face him. I thought nothing of it at the time, though it came to mind a million times

later. Hindsight, after all,is 20/20.