I know she's waiting when, despite myself, I attack. She'll say, for me Christ died.
And then only too well do I know the sudden cold feeling that I get inside.
I know her and I know she won't bring up the subject herself.
So why can't I let her Christianity sit upon its shelf?
I'm angry because she somehow has something, a peace I can't ignore,
because no matter what I have or have done, I feel there has to be more.
I laugh when trouble strikes. Triumphantly I state, "Ha! Where's your God now?! Look what's come to you!"
her words are an explanation, "God never promised no problems, but only to help you through."
I smile knowingly. She has nothing. I have no doubt she'll soon crumble.
But she says, "Seek first the kingdom of God and all else will be added." as I sit in silent grumble.
I know and I will occasionally admit she has something that I lack,
but despite this, I won't surrender. What holds me back?
by Je' Leites