"Harry, you gonna eat that apple?"
"Guess so. Why?"
"You've been polishing it for a half hour now."
"Hard to talk with your mouth full."
"You know, when I was here the other day, I started thinking..."
"You???"
"Funny. But seriously, do you believe in God?"
"Never gave it much thought."
"Well, where do you think man came from then? And don't say monkeys."
"Let me ask you something. Do you believe in aliens?"
"As in?"
"Well, I don't mean the illegal ones Ol' Gus has working on his farm for four dollars an hour."
"You mean extra terrestrial. Outer space."
"Yep."
"I don't know."
"I guess you got your answer then."
"So, you don't know if you believe in God."
"Guess not."
"Then how come when you had that heart attack last year, I distinctly remember you grabbed your chest and said, 'Oh, God."
"Just an expression. Like when you stubbed your toe the other day and said, 'Oh, crap."
"Yeah, but I believe in crap."
"Good one."
"Speaking of which, I'm going to be in it deep if I don't get going."
"Sure are. Tell Bella thanks for the pie."
"Will do. Guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"Guess so."
"And Harry, think about it, okay?"
"What? Crap?"
"No. God. Crap is just what you have when you don't have God."
by Je' Leites