Pearls of Wisdom

If you clean out your closet and throw away something you haven't worn in two years, you will need it the next week. You will have no major car problems until AFTER it is paid for. You still feel the same and have the same liberal attitudes you did in high school - until some lady in a store thinks your 24 year old sister and her daughter are both YOUR children. If you buy someting new that comes in a big box...DO NOT throw away that box, you will need a big box soon. If you are expecting a package in the mail it will take a long time - but bills often come a day or two early. Your husband will NEVER understand that although you have 24 pairs of shoes, you still need some new ones to go with THIS outfit. He also cannot understand why you may use 3 different purses in one week, but he can use the same wallet for years. If you clean your house on Friday night so you can sleep late on Saturday, you will wake up bright and early on Saturday morning. If you buy Christmas presents and wrap them in June, the tags will fall off and you will have to unwrap them to see who it's for. If a man lives in your house, NEVER at 3 a.m. sit on the toilet without first turning on the light. Do not assume that because you do something nice for someone that they will be grateful. If your husband is a country boy, he will NEVER put on a tie without a huge fight - then when he gets it on, he will always say, "You better not bury me in one of these." If your husband has had a t-shirt with a picture of some car on it for more than 20 years - DO NOT throw it away even if it looks like a rat has eaten it. No matter how romantic you and your friends think a bistro or cafe is, if they serve tiny little finger food your husband will hate it. You take pride in how young at heart you still are - until some teenager is squealing his tires up and down your street at 2 a.m. You fondly remember how you could stay awake for days on end...Now, if you aren't in bed by 9 p.m. you will be tired for the rest of the week. You still feel pretty young - until you get a note in your email from your 34 year old friend from high school announcing her new GRANDDAUGHTER !!!!!!!!!!