Tea and Empathy

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge is wither'd from the lake,
And no birds sing.

--John Keats, La Belle Dame Sans Merci

Part 3 - Taking Care of Business

"Good morning, Radu! Time to get up!" Thelma crooned cheerfully.

"Ow! No, go away," he answered groggily, rolling over and pulling his pillow over his head, hoping between that and his earmuffs, he could drown her out. It couldn't be morning already - he was still so tired.

Thelma stared at him, blinking quizzically. Normally, Radu was the easiest of the crew to waken; this behaviour was quite out of the ordinary for him. With a little mechanical shrug, she turned to the other boys.

"Good morning, Harlan," she began, her tone the same as she'd used with Radu, but her voice considerably louder to reach the sleeping human. "Time to...."

"Wha...? Oh, yeah, OK," he muttered, rolling over and rubbing his eyes. By the time he'd managed to get them focused properly, she'd moved on to Bova, who, after a few moments of lying still and hoping Thelma would think he was dead, decided that he might as well get up and face the miseries of a new day.

To his surprise, though, the day was starting with a lucky break. "I get the bathroom first!" he yelled, jumping out of bed and heading for it. Usually Radu, the earliest riser, got most of the hot water.

"I call seconds," Harlan shouted after him.

Radu gave up trying to go back to sleep. How could two people make so much noise, without even trying? Even the sound of Harlan walking across the room seemed louder then normal.

All of a sudden the pillow he'd jammed over his head was whisked out of his grasp. "Hey, sleepy-head, up and at 'em!" Harlan laughed. "Miss Davenport will go ballistic if you're late for breakfast when we've got visitors."

Radu didn't move for a few seconds. He was struggling not to go ballistic himself. Wasn't it enough that Harlan could make enough noise to drive any Andromedan crazy? Why couldn't he just leave him alone?

The thought crossed Radu's mind how satisfying it would be right then to reach out, grab his pillow back with one arm and send Harlan flying with the other, but he struggled to suppress it. It was morning, obviously, even though his body felt like it was still the middle of the night, and Harlan was right - he had to get up. With a muted groan, he pushed himself into an upright position.

Harlan looked at him and gave a hoot of laughter. "Man! What happened to you last night?"

"What?" Radu asked, frowning. He wasn't in the mood for any of Harlan's games. On top of the fatigue that was still weighing him down, he'd woken with a bad headache, a dull pain that seemed to stretch from his temples to the back of his neck. Just turning his head hurt, and he wished that the bunkroom was not quite so brightly lit.

"Take a look at yourself," Harlan said, smirking. "You look like you got run over by a Killcruiser or something."

Radu struggled to his feet and went over to where a small mirror was located. He had to admit that Harlan had a point - he looked awful. His face was even paler than normal, with dark circles like bruises under his eyes, and he'd come down with a severe case of bed-head, his long hair sticking out awkwardly in all directions. He sighed as he tried to brush it out, but the tugging of the brush just made his head hurt worse. To top it off, after waiting for Bova and Harlan to finish in the bathroom, he discovered that they'd used up all the hot water. Facing a blast of icy spray didn't soothe his headache any, although he did feel a little more awake once his shower was over.

Of course, as the last one into the bathroom, he ended up being late. Not only did he miss a chance to talk with Tiye, who had eaten and was already working on the Lotus with Captain Hill, but he had to listen to some pointed remarks from Miss Davenport about the importance of punctuality. He muttered an apology, and went over to the Food Wheel to collect his breakfast.

After rehydrating it, he found himself facing several slices of a dark sausage-like material, coated with an oily black sauce. Harlan glanced over and wrinkled his nose. "Now that," he said, "is really disgusting. Andromedan food is generally disgusting anyway, but that's exceptional."

"It is not disgusting," Radu answered, gritting his teeth. He couldn't remember Harlan being quite so annoying for a long time. "It's geciran liver pudding. It's a delicacy among my people."

"Yeah, well, like I said...." Harlan answered. "I guess the more revolting it is, the better Andromedans like it."

Radu was going to snap back at him, but as he stared down at his breakfast, the words died in his throat. Actually, he thought, Harlan was right. What was on his plate was disgusting, a gooey mess with an unpleasant, almost rancid odour. A wave of nausea swept over him just looking at it. There was no way he was going to be able to force himself to eat any of it.

Fortunately, everyone else was too busy getting ready for class to notice that he'd not touched a mouthful of his food. He hastily scraped off his plate and went to get his compupad. At least, he thought, we'll have an easy morning - we're just going to go over the results of the simulation, and I'm sure I did well on it. He tried to remember his excitement of the previous day, but it was hard to recapture. Nothing seemed to matter, except the pain in his head, and the fatigue that made walking to the classroom an almost unbearable chore.

"All I can say is," Commander Goddard said, staring grimly at his students, " that I'm glad that the UPP isn't depending on your strategic skills right now. We'd be in big trouble if we were."

The class stared back at him uneasily. "I ... I'm sure we didn't do that badly," Rosie murmured, "for beginners." She looked around for support, but nobody met her eyes. Most of them had been taken aback by how difficult the exercise had been.

"Let's put it this way," Goddard retorted. "Out of the five of you, only one of you managed to achieve your objective while avoiding the destruction of your forces. The rest of you were beaten, and badly."

"But one of us did win?" Harlan asked. He shot a suspicious glance at Radu. If he'd actually won, and Harlan had lost, Harlan feared he'd never live it down.

"Yes," Goddard replied. "I have to admit one of you did show initiative and a fair amount of originality in approaching the problem. That person passed. The rest of you made a number of glaring errors - errors that in real life would have gotten you and most of your forces killed. But don't worry - you have one more chance. I'm going to give you back the results of the completed simulation. You will then analyze your errors, and write a report of two thousand words or so, explaining what your mistakes were, and how the campaign should have been conducted."

"Two thousand words?" Bova moaned. "That'll take forever."

"I'm sure you'll find a lot of errors to cover," Goddard said, smiling thinly. "You'll have to work to fit them all in." He turned and keyed a code into the main computer, instructing it to transmit the completed simulations to each student's compupad. "I suggest you get started on it now - I want to see your completed reports tomorrow. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the cargo bay - there are still a few tricky spots on the Lotus that Captain Hill and I are working on."

Before he could walk out, though, Suzee looked up from her compupad, a stricken expression on her face. "Commander, I don't understand - I failed? That can't be right! I - I've never failed a test in my life!"

"Just proves that there's a first time for everything," Goddard said blandly, and made his escape to the cargo bay, even as Suzee's mouth was open in protest.

"All right!" Harlan cried gleefully. "So, the engineering genius flunked! How'd that happen?"

Suzee glared at him, her face flushed. "I - I don't know. It was a stupid test anyway. I'm going someplace quiet to review it - I'm sure there was a computer error in the marking." She leaped to her feet and fled to one of the jump tubes, clutching her compupad.

"I'm going to find someplace quiet to review mine," Bova sighed. "I lost badly."

"How do you know?" Rosie asked, her forehead furrowed in concern. She'd disliked the course as much as any she'd ever taken - all the emphasis on fighting and killing had come close to depressing her, and now all her friends were upset. "You never even looked at your compupad!"

"It doesn't matter, I know I lost," he sighed, but he did take a look at the final results. "Told you so," he announced dismally. Trudging across the room, he disappeared down the jump tube after Suzee.

"Two down," Harlan chuckled, but Rosie noticed he didn't check his own compupad. Instead, he leaned over Radu's shoulder. "So, strong guy, how'd you do?"

Radu, staring bleakly at his compupad, didn't answer. He was too horrified. When he'd stopped the simulation, he'd thought he was doing well - the Spung were running, and his forces were still pretty much in one piece. But now, he realized as he read over the final report, he'd made a fatal mistake. He'd sent his forces running after the retreating Spung without considering how much damage they'd taken. They'd been low on fuel and ammunition; most ships were damaged to some degree, with weakened shields and shattered engines. But the Spung had been leading them into a trap. Fresh Spung reserves had been held back, waiting for just such an opportunity. They'd pounced on his battered fleet about a half a light year from Parula, and destroyed most of it. The planet, left defenceless, had been ravaged.

Why didn't I see this coming? he asked himself numbly. I should have known - didn't the Andromedan commander warn me that they were in trouble? Didn't my scouts tell me that the first attack wave was too small to account for all the Spung forces? I didn't listen to them. Instead, I sent them off to die. How could I have been so stupid? If they'd been real people, I ... I would have been responsible for their deaths. I'm practically a murderer....

"Oh, man!" Harlan laughed, reading over Radu's shoulder. "Wipeout!"

"All right, Harlan!" Radu yelled, slamming his compupad down. The noise made Harlan and Rosie both jump. His frustration, disappointment and guilt were so strong, he couldn't think straight. "I know I'm not as smart as you! I know that I'll never be as good a STARDOG as you are! There! Are you satisfied?"

Harlan, in turn, lost his temper. He wasn't used to Radu yelling at him, even if what he was saying was gratifying to his ego. Plus, he'd spent an anxious evening wondering if Radu had actually outfought him in the simulation, and he felt he had to even the score for all that wasted worry. And finally, deep in his own heart, he knew that he'd done nowhere near as well on the simulation as he'd expected, even if he'd managed to squeak through with a pass. So, all the irritation welled up and came out in his words, even as he flinched to hear himself say them.

"Satisfied?" he retorted. "At least the Commander can see now that you don't have what it takes to be a real STARDOG. As they say, humans lead, Andromedans ... gosh, what can Andromedans do, anyway? I can't remember. Not much, it seems."

Radu listened to him, stunned. He'd worked with Harlan for nearly three years, fought beside him, supported him when he'd overreached himself. And this was what he got in return. It was too much. He didn't deserve it - he didn't deserve any of the contempt and hostility he'd received from Harlan, from humans in general, even from his own people. Obviously what he'd mistaken for a growing friendship with Harlan had been a set-up, a cruel trick; Harlan had just been waiting for a chance to show how naive he was, to believe he could gain a human's respect.

He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself, but it wasn't working. A deep primitive emotion was forcing its way to the surface - it took so much energy to keep it in check. His blood was throbbing in his ears, and his head felt as if it would split open any second....

Harlan mistook his silence for apathy or unconcern. He searched for something that would get a reaction from Radu, one way or another.

"After all," he continued, knowing what he was saying was only going to cause trouble, but unable to stop himself, "you've probably only been able to keep up with the rest of us by listening in on the teachers. You'd have flunked out long ago if your hearing didn't allow you to cheat...."

Something in Radu snapped. He was used to being considered slower than the other students, but no one before had ever accused him of anything as dishonourable as cheating. It was more than he could bear.

Before Harlan knew what was happening, Radu had practically flown from his seat, and pinned him against the wall. His forearm was pressed hard under Harlan's throat, choking him. "Take it back!" Radu was whispering between clenched teeth. "Take ... it ... back!"

Harlan would have been quite happy at that point to take it back, but he couldn't catch his breath enough to say anything. He couldn't even think of one of his martial arts moves to get himself out of the choke-hold Radu had him in. A roaring noise in his ears told him he had just a few seconds before he blacked out....

Radu had no intention of stopping, but he felt something grab his arm. He let go of Harlan long enough to fling the annoying object, whatever it was, away from him with all his strength. Doing so, however, gave Harlan a chance to slip out from under his grasp.

"Rosie!" Harlan cried out, and stumbled over to a limp form on the floor.

As suddenly as it had come, the rage left Radu, leaving behind a horror that seemed to root him to the deck. He hadn't realized it, but of course the person grabbing his arm had been Rosie, trying to keep him from doing something awful. And he'd thrown her into the far wall. The girl who for a long time had been his only friend was lying there, hurt, by his own hand. He couldn't believe it; how could he ever have lost control so badly, to hurt his friend, both his friends, like that?

"Are you all right, Rosie?" Harlan asked worriedly as he knelt beside her.

"Um ... yeah," she answered. She was struggling to sit up, but her eyes were glazed. "Just ... winded."

Harlan looked up at Radu unbelievingly. "What is wrong with you?" he yelled. "How could you do that?"

"I ... I'm sorry," Radu said, knowing how inadequate the words were, compared to what he'd just done. He really couldn't answer Harlan's question. What was wrong with him? He'd never lost control like this before. "H-here," he stammered, "let me take you to the MedLab, Rosie."

"Get away from her!" Harlan growled, his fists clenching. He didn't understand what was wrong, but there was no way he was going to give Radu a chance to hurt Rosie again.

Radu didn't argue. After what he'd just done, he didn't trust himself any more than Harlan did. Instead, he turned and fled from the classroom. What's happening to me? he wondered, desperately. He knew that, until he had the answer, he didn't want to be near any of his crewmates.

Suzee had left the classroom, and headed for the place she felt safest, the engineering control room. As she hurried through the corridors, she was thinking, This can't be happening to me ... there's got to be a mistake ... it's a stupid subject anyway. I never wanted to be a STARDOG, or in the military - why should I waste my time on this? I shouldn't even be asked to study it, it's only distracting me from all the really important stuff I should be doing ... but I tried, I gave it my best, and I failed ... That's never, ever happened to me....

She finally reached the control room. Throwing her compupad angrily into a corner, she got out her toolbox, and started to disassemble the graviton generator. She'd meant to give it a good overhaul and refit a week ago; it had been acting up for a long time, but instead, she'd gotten sidetracked on that idiotic strategy course. Stupid, stupid course ... stupid, stupid....

She flinched slightly as the door behind her slid open. She hoped it wasn't Harlan, coming to gloat over besting her in the simulation; or, even worse, Rosie coming to try to cheer her up. She just wanted to be left alone.

"Excuse me, Suzee?" a soft voice from behind her told her that it wasn't any of her crewmates at all - it was Tiye. What does she want? Suzee wondered, irritably.

"Yes?" she answered shortly. "I'm kind of busy, if you don't mind."

"That's all right, it's not important, I can come back later" Tiye said gently. She stepped back towards the door, but then turned around, a look of concern on her face. "Are you all right, Suzee?"

"Yes," Suzee replied, through gritted teeth, never lifting her eyes from the generator. "I'm fine. Just fine. Now, if you don't mind...."

Tiye didn't move. "You're not fine, Suzee, you're very upset."

"Oh, wow, how did you figure that out?" Suzee asked sarcastically.

"I'm an...."

"Yes, I know, you're an empath," Suzee said bitterly. "You can tell what I'm feeling. Well, what I'm feeling right now is that I'd like to be alone."

"You can talk to me, Suzee," Tiye said. "You know, I'd like to be your friend."

"I've already got one," Suzee said, turning back to the generator. "Don't need another."

"Oh, right," Tiye said, completely ignoring the coldness in Suzee's manner. "The Saturnian girl you switched dimensions with. The others told me about her. Are you still close with her?"

Suzee looked up sharply. "Still close? Exactly what do you mean by that?"

"Well, you're so angry at her, I thought...."

"Angry?" Suzee almost shouted. "Who ... what ... whatever gave you the idea that I was angry at Cat?"

"You did," Tiye answered, looking at her with her strange golden eyes, that seemed to leave no room for dissembling. "I mean, I can feel it in you."

"That's ridiculous," Suzee said. She wanted nothing more than to get back to her maintenance work, but somehow she felt trapped, unable to look away. "Why would I be angry at Catalina? We've been best friends ever since we were babies. I helped her, didn't I? I saved her life, or didn't they tell you that?"

"Oh," Tiye said thoughtfully, "so that's why you're so angry? I understand now."

"What do you understand?" Suzee cried. She made an awkward gesture with her hand, knocking her tool kit to the floor. It lay there unnoticed by both girls.

"You didn't have to help her, but you did," Tiye said, moving a little closer to Suzee. "There you were, safe at home. With your family, your studies, everything you were comfortable with. But you couldn't let your friend die, even though she'd gotten herself into this mess in the first place. (You tried to warn her when she first went on board the Christa, didn't you? But she wouldn't listen.) So, you did what you could to save her. And what reward did you get for it? Now, she's the one safe in your home. Your parents treat her like she's their daughter, she's living in your room, even wearing your things. And you're the one who's alone in the cold of space, where you never wanted to be, with Spung and such lurking everywhere, waiting for a chance to kill you. And did she ever really thank you for it, recognize what you gave up for her?"

Suzee opened her mouth to say something, but the words never came out.

"Yes, I can understand why you're so angry at her," Tiye mused. "It must have taken a lot of self-control never to tell her how you felt. Although it explains why you spend so much time chasing her boyfriend."

"...Chasing?" Suzee managed to gasp out. "Let me tell you, I never chase boys. I don't have to, they come to me easily enough ...."

"You must be very brave, Suzee," Tiye continued, as though Suzee hadn't spoken. She took another step closer. "I mean, you've lived for almost two years here, without breaking down, despite the fact that you're in danger every moment, that you've been forgotten by your own family, that no one on board the ship wants you here."

Suzee tried to step backwards, away from Tiye, but the generator was barring her way. "What do you mean, they don't want me here? I've saved their lives so often that I've lost count. If it wasn't for my engineering skills...."

"Yes," Tiye said, tilting her head thoughtfully, "but of course, Catalina was just as good an engineer as you were, wasn't she? Even better, perhaps. You knew that, even if she didn't. And she was charming, and fun, and everyone liked her. You know that if the rest of the crew had a choice, they'd switch you back for Catalina back in a second, and be glad you were gone. Just like the people back on Yensid are."

"No..." Suzee protested weakly, pressed up against the generator.

"I've only been on the ship a few days, and I could sense that," Tiye remonstrated, her voice still gentle and grave as she somehow moved closer still, until her golden eyes seemed to be boring directly into Suzee's. "You must have known it almost from the start. The only reason the boys pay you any attention is because you're the only girl here for them to fuss over. Harlan would much rather be with Catalina, and Radu would rather be with ... what's her name, the Spung? In fact, in Radu's case, I don't think you're even in second place any more. Rosie wants her friend Catalina back, even the teachers look at you and wish Catalina were here instead. As I said, you must be very brave, to live with the fact that no one on board likes you."

"Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!" Suzee yelled. Tiye drew back a fraction, blinking as though she couldn't quite understand Suzee's reaction. "You think you're so smart, that you understand everything," Suzee cried. "Let me tell you something...."

She focused her eyes on Tiye's face, and her eyes glowed purple. She was angry enough to forget her scruples about invading other people's minds - all she could think of was giving Tiye a taste of her own medicine. Let her feel what it's like, she thought, for someone to go rummaging through your mind, dragging your secret fears out and parading them in public, giving them the worst possible interpretation, worse than anything you've ever admitted to yourself. She was willing to do anything, really, just to get Tiye to stop, to go away.

Suzee's mind reached out, her eyes locked on Tiye's. But as she contacted the other girl's mind, she felt a sudden jolt, as though she'd run into a solid wall. It was like hitting an impassible barrier of pain. For a terrifying moment, she felt as though she were trapped in it, but with a desperate effort she managed to wrench herself free. As her mind recoiled, she thought she could hear something in her head screaming - perhaps it was she herself, she couldn't tell.

She collapsed back into her seat beside the generator, gasping. Tiye stood there, looking down at her. "You know, I don't think that works on Parulans," she said softly. "You might hurt yourself if you tried that again."

"Go away," Suzee said, dropping her face into her hands. "Just ... go! Please!"

Tiye looked stricken. "I'm sorry, Suzee," she said. "I've been so foolish. I just wanted to help you, and instead I've upset you further."

"Get out!" Suzee yelled, starting to get up from her chair. If she couldn't push her way into Tiye's mind, she could certainly push her physically out of the control room.

"Of course, Suzee, I'm going. I'm so sorry to have caused you any distress," Tiye said. The door slid shut behind her a fraction of a second before Suzee's toolkit came flying towards her. It probably wouldn't have hit her anyway; Suzee's aim was spoiled by angry tears.

Once outside, Tiye stopped, and leaned against the wall, sighing deeply. She threw her head back and ran her hands through her long dark hair, as if she'd just finished some grueling task. However, when she straightened up and walked on, she was wearing a tiny, satisfied smile.

Bova sat on one of the risers at the back of the ComPost, staring at his compupad. A two thousand word essay by the next day! It was outrageous - he'd never get it done. Still, he didn't feel quite as bad as he'd anticipated. Nearly everyone else had failed - he had expected that he'd be the only one. Maybe, he thought, he could meet with Rosie later, and go over their work together. He'd found working with Rosie was oddly helpful - they took such different approaches to life that when they put their heads together, they often came up with something entirely original.

He continued to read through the final report on the simulation. A strange feeling was coming over him - the more he looked at the data, the less horrific his situation at the end of it appeared. Maybe, the thought struck him, I didn't need to retreat at the last moment after all - possibly, if I'd kept going, I might even have won. He shook his head sharply. No, that can't be right, he told himself, and started to read the data over again. But still....

As he was mulling this odd idea over, he was distracted by a beep from the communications station. "Get that, will you please, Thelma?" he asked, not raising his head. There was no response. The station beeped again, more insistently. Bova looked up - Thelma was nowhere to be seen.

Sighing heavily at the injustice of life, he heaved himself to his feet and went over to the station. As he reached for the crystal that turned on the viewscreen, he wondered who could be trying to contact them this deep in space. The only other beings they'd seen in weeks were Captain Hill and Tiye, and the Bufonians.

Sure enough, as the view screen materialized, he was confronted by the toadlike face of another Bufonian commander. "Er, hi!" Bova said, weakly. Surreptitiously, he checked the sensor array, and discovered that the Christa was now facing a much bigger ship than the Rana. Just my luck, he thought. He started to call the Commander and Harlan to the bridge, but the Bufonian forestalled him by addressing him directly.

"UPP Starship Christa - this is Commander Anura of the Bufonian cruiser Colostethus. We demand to speak with you."

"Well, you don't have to demand anything, you are speaking with us ... I mean, me." Bova answered, trying to imitate Harlan's natural air of authority. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Four days ago, you prevented one of our ships from apprehending the UPP vessel Lotus," Commander Anura said grimly. "We demand that the vessel, her crew and her contents be turned over to us immediately."

"And why should we do that?" Bova asked, attempting a self-confident scowl. "I mean, since we can destroy Killcruisers and all that, what reason would we have for just giving them up?" He'd made the mistake of giving up too easily in his simulation; now, he was determined to stick to his guns - even if the Christa didn't actually have any.

The figure on the view screen raised two webbed hands, and held them out in a gesture that looked oddly like the human gesture of appeasement. "We will transmit the reasons to you in our formal request," it said. "If you are reasonable, then you will listen to them. If not, then we will do what we must - but we hope that it will not come to that."

"All right," Bova said, although he frowned suspiciously as the text of a document appeared on the view screen, accompanied by the Christa's translation. As he read it, though, his look of suspicion was replaced by one of absolute astonishment.

Just as Suzee had, Radu had fled from the classroom to look for a place where he could find some comfort and regain his composure. Unlike her, though, he had no clear idea of where he was going. At first, he had just run headlong through the Christa's long twisting corridors, but soon, he had to stop, gasping for breath. A wave of nausea swept over him, even worse than the one he'd felt at breakfast, and he felt his legs trembling under him. I don't understand, he thought. Andromedans don't tire this easily. I must be sick - I should have Rosie take a look at me. No, I can't go to Rosie. How could I ever look her in the face after what I just did to her? I can't go near anyone - what if I explode again, like I did with Harlan? I could have hurt him, too. I wanted to hurt him. If Rosie hadn't stopped me, who knows what I would have done? What's happening to me?

He heard footsteps coming along the corridor towards him. He turned to run, to hide from whoever it was, but he discovered that he was at the end of a section - he'd have to retrace his steps and pass the person to get back to the main corridor. He was trapped.

"W-who is it?" he called out. There was no answer, so he raised his voice slightly. "I - there's something wrong with me. Please, just go away."

"I know you don't feel well," Tiye said, stepping around the corner. "Radu, we need to talk. I can help you."

Radu shook his head violently, then wished he hadn't - the pain from his aching head shot along his entire body. "You don't understand, Tiye - I'm sick or something. Please, go away. I don't want to hurt you."

She didn't move, just stood there quietly. "Radu, I know what you're feeling. I can help you, if you'll let me. But we've got to talk to Captain Hill."

He squinted slightly, trying to see her face clearly. His senses were starting to be affected as well - his vision was blurring, while at the same time his hearing was becoming more sensitive, and yet distorted. Even Tiye's soft voice sounded strange.

"Captain Hill?" he asked in dismay. In the shape he was in, the last person he wanted to see was the obnoxious human. "What can he do?"

"He can help you, Radu," she said, reaching out to take his arm. "I know you're scared right now, but everything will be all right. You just have to trust me."

Radu closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain some kind of emotional control. He didn't quite understand what she meant, but maybe she did know what was happening to him; maybe she would be able to help. At that moment, it seemed to be his only hope.

"So," Hill said, looking at Radu with a strangely satisfied expression, "Tiye says you're not feeling well." He tilted his head to acknowledge the Parulan girl, who was standing beside his chair, her eyes focused on the floor before her.

Radu nodded miserably. His stomach was churning - whether it was his illness, or just the fact that he had to ask for help from Hill, he couldn't tell.

"Headache?" Hill asked. "Nausea? Exhaustion?" There was not a trace of sympathy in his voice as he listed off the symptoms. "Perhaps ... some emotional instability? You're angry, frightened, all over nothing?" He leaned forward in his chair, his eyes fixed on Radu. "You feel like you're falling into a black hole, and there's nothing you can do to save yourself?"

"Yes," Radu answered weakly, partly repulsed that his emotions so transparent to the unpleasant Earther, partly relieved that Hill seemed to know what he was talking about. "Every since I woke up this morning."

Hill settled back in his armchair. "That should be easy enough to fix ... if you're willing," he said. "Let's see the bracelet ... I know Tiye gave you one, she told me herself," he continued, as Radu hesitated. His voice became harsh and commanding. "Show it, boy!"

Radu reluctantly rolled up his sleeve, enough to reveal the silver and black of the bracelet. "See here?" Hill pointed at the crystal sphere in the center of the bezel. "There's your problem. Energy cell has run down."

"Energy cell?" Radu asked, feeling bewildered. His mind was becoming so befogged, it was hard to concentrate on what Hill was saying. Still, he couldn't remember Tiye saying anything about the bracelet requiring an energy source.

"Yes," Hill said sarcastically, "you don't think these things run on moonbeams and happy thoughts, do you?" He sighed in disgust at the blank look on Radu's face. "OK, I'll try to put this in simple terms that even an Andromedan can understand. Do you remember how you felt when you first put the bracelet on? Good, right? Self-confident, capable, everything going your way?"

Radu nodded again, his eyes wide and horrified. The human seemed to be able to see right into his mind for the last few days.

"Well, did you ever wonder what caused that?" Hill sneered. "Or did you just think you were finally coming into your own?" He shook his head contemptuously at Radu's lack of understanding. "It was the bracelet, of course. That was all because of it."

"T-Tiye said it was good luck," Radu stammered.

Hill chuckled. "Trust an Andromedan to fall for a story like that. No, it's not luck, it's the power cell on the bracelet. I'll not bore you with the details; doubt if you could understand them if I tried. Just think of it like this; the power cell stays on, you stay happy, cheerful, almost like your Mercurian friend. Power cell runs down, things start going the other way." He smiled smugly. "Bit by bit, you start falling apart. It's only been ... how long?" He turned to Tiye.

"Approximately seven hours," she answered quietly.

"OK, seven hours," Hill resumed. "It'll get faster, and worse, as time goes by. Right now, it's reversible - give it a little more time, and it won't be. Without a new power cell, you are in very big trouble, my Andromedan friend. By this time tomorrow, there won't be very much of you left."

Radu struggled to focus his dimming eyesight on the human. "Then ... how do I get a new power cell?" he asked, feeling panic rising within him. Hill was right about one thing; his emotional control was slipping away. He was shaking, and knew that Hill could sense it.

"Buy it from us," Hill said, as if it was obvious. "We're traders, we keep things like that in stock." He grinned. "They're expensive, though."

"But ..." Radu said, struggling to keep his voice steady. "I don't have any money ... I'm just a cadet." He looked imploringly at Tiye. "Please ... explain it to him."

"Oh, I'm aware of that," Hill answered before Tiye could speak. "Now, if you were a human, I'd suggest you ask your family. But an Andromedan ... what could you give me that would make me give up something as valuable as a power cell?"

"I - I don't know," Radu said faintly.

After a moment of silence, Hill brought his hand down smartly on his knee, as though he had just been struck with an idea. However, Radu sensed the gesture was over-rehearsed; he was sure Hill had known where the conversation was going from the start. "I know," Hill said brightly, "you'll just have to work the debt off. You do a job for me, you'll get a new cell. One that will keep you going for, oh, at least a week."

"But then what? What happens in a week?" Radu burst out.

Hill smiled in satisfaction. "Then, I guess you have to do something else for me to get a new one. And in two weeks time, you do something else...."

Radu stared at him in horror. All his life, he'd lived in fear of slavery, but he'd always assumed the threat would be from the Spung. It had never crossed his mind to fear such a thing from a human who had fought the Spung. Or from someone whose world had been destroyed by them....

He turned to Tiye. "How?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly. "How could you do this to me?"

For the first time, she looked up at him. Her eyes were expressionless, opaque as two gold coins. "It's nothing personal, Radu," she said softly. "Just business."

He turned from her, unable to believe that this was the same girl he had felt so close to, just yesterday. What a fool I am, he thought bitterly. I'll believe anything, even ... even that a girl might really like me, without any ulterior motive.

"Well?" Hill snapped impatiently.

"What - what do you want me to do?" Radu faltered.

Hill reached into his pocket and removed another bracelet, identical to the one Tiye had given Radu. "Here, take this," he instructed. "And no, don't think you can just switch it for your own. I've seen tricks like that in the past, and I know how to prevent it. Each race responds to a different frequency from the power cell - this one would blow your mind apart."

"Then what do I do with it?" Radu asked, staring at it like a rabbit at a snake.

"This one? This is for your Yensidian friend," Hill continued. "Right now, she's very upset. Feeling unwanted. It would certainly cheer her up if someone were to go to her and offer her a small token of friendship. Just a little trinket to bring good luck, you know?" He smirked unpleasantly.

Radu closed his eyes. Every time he felt that things had become as bad as they could be, they got worse. "I can't...." he said, so low that Hill could hardly hear him. "I just can't."

"You can't? Yes, you can! And you will!" Hill barked, his loud voice making Radu's ears ring. "Or you'll get to feel each brain cell in your pathetic skull slowly shrivel up and die. If you think it's bad now, just wait for a few hours. By then, you'll be begging me to let you have another chance. But this is a limited time offer - take it now, or don't bother me again. You'll be no use to me, or to anyone, soon."

Radu tried to stand his ground. "I ... I'll go to Commander Goddard," he said, although his faltering voice made the declaration sound hollow, even in his own ears. "He'll stop you."

"Oh, I wouldn't do that," Hill answered, his face drawn in mock concern. "You're the one with the bracelet - that's what STARDOG regulations call a 'contraband device'. You'd be in serious trouble if Goddard even suspected you had it."

"But Tiye gave it to me!" Radu protested frantically. "She never told me what it was! If she had, I'd never have taken it."

"Perhaps," Hill said smugly. "But who will they believe? A STARDOG, or an Andromedan?" He watched the defiance fade from Radu's face at the thought. "You'd be arrested. Court-martialled. Disgraced. You'd spend the trip home in a cell. But then," he grinned, "in a little while, I suppose you'd be too far gone to care."

Part of Radu's brain told him to ignore Hill's warning - his only chance was to go to the Commander and Miss Davenport. It had to be stopped, before the others were lured into Hill's scheme. Certainly Hill didn't intend to stop with him and Suzee. If he could get control of the other cadets, he could take over the Christa. And then what - maybe sell them to the Spung, collect the bounty that the Empire was offering? Or take the Christa apart bit by bit, selling her parts to the highest bidder, while her crew were auctioned off in one of the slave markets that existed in the far-flung parts of the galaxy? It had to be stopped. And yet ... another part said that he could do a better job stopping it if he could only get a new power cell. Then his head would clear, and he could think about what had to be done. In his current state, he was useless. In a little while, he wouldn't be able to move, let alone think. Maybe, with a recharged bracelet, he could warn Suzee and the others. Surely, if she wore the bracelet for just a few minutes, it couldn't hurt her, could it?

Slowly, his hand reached out for the bracelet. It seemed to Radu that some other person was moving it. He heard himself whisper, "All right."

"Good boy," Hill said, in the tone of someone rewarding a rather stupid dog. He held out the bracelet, but as Radu reached for it, he dropped it on the floor. Radu had to kneel down to pick it up.

"Tsk," he said. "I forgot how clumsy you people are. Now, get going."

Tiye followed Radu out the door. Once it had closed, she placed a hand on his shoulder, as if to comfort him.

"Don't worry, it's all right," she soothed. "Once you get used to it...."

He shook her off in disgust. "You - you're worse than the Spung. At least they don't pretend to be your friends."

She sighed. "As I said, you'll get used to it." She smiled confidentially at him, the same smile that had warmed his heart the previous day. "Listen, I'll make sure Captain Hill gives you a cell with a much higher charge to it. After you get that, things won't seem so bad."

"I don't want to get used to it," he cried. "I don't want to use some sort of device to make myself forget what I've done, what I've become!"

Her face went expressionless again. "We must learn to cope with what life gives us," she said. "I'm sure you'll find a way." She turned and went back into Hill's stateroom.

Fortunately, finding Suzee wasn't that hard. Or was it unfortunately? Radu's mind was so clouded that he could hardly tell the difference. She was where she always went when she was upset, the engineering control room. He could hear her from two decks away. It almost sounded as though she'd been crying; he could make out occasional sniffs, and there was a sound now and then as if she was rubbing the sleeve of her uniform across her eyes.

He stood outside the door to the control room for a moment, his hands flat against the door. I've got to get away, he thought; I can't go through with this. Then, almost without conscious intent, he reached across and hit the button to enter.

As the door slid open, he saw Suzee kneeling beside the graviton generator, tugging on a recalcitrant fitting. At the sound of his entrance, she jumped up and turned to face him.

"Get ou...." she began to snap. Then she saw him, and her face softened. "Oh, it's you, Radu. Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

"Who were you expecting?" he asked.

"Oh, nobody," she said, and sat back down beside the generator. It occurred to him that she was deliberately trying to avoid facing him.

"Can - can I help you with that?" he asked, after a few seconds of silence.

"No, I'm fine," she said. She shot him a quick look, not so quick that he failed to notice her reddened eyes. "What are you doing down here?" she asked, after another brief pause. "I thought you'd be hanging out with your Parulan friend."

"Tiye?" he asked, sitting down beside her. "No, I - I think we're not such good friends anymore."

She looked up at him with an expression of concern. "Has she done something mean to you, Radu?" she asked.

"Well...." he stammered, not exactly sure how to answer that.

Suzee gave an indignant sniff. She'd noticed that Radu hadn't been himself all day - obviously, she thought, Tiye had done something to upset him. "Personally, I'll be quite happy when those two are off the ship," she said, as much to herself as to him. She turned back to the generator, but her mind clearly wasn't on it. "Radu," she said slowly, "tell me something...."

"What?" he asked warily. He realized that he didn't know the full extent of Suzee's powers - did she know, could she sense why he was there? He cringed with shame at the very thought.

"You don't ... I mean, you don't really think it's such a bad thing that I'm on the Christa instead of Catalina, do you?" Suzee asked. She was trying to sound nonchalant, but he could hear the strain in her voice.

It was so far from what he'd expected her to ask that it took him a moment to gather his thoughts from the chaos inside his head. "N-no, Suzee, I don't think it's a bad thing. I mean ... we miss Catalina, but ... you saved her life and everything ... and ... and we've learned a lot from you. I just wish you could both be on the Christa." At least I did, he thought; now, I wish that you were both away from here, someplace safe. And yet, that other part of his mind, the one desperate to escape the agony he was going through, saw the opportunity that Tiye and Hill had so carefully prepared for him. He reached into his pocket and slowly drew out the bracelet. "Actually, Suzee, I ... I got you a present."

"Present?" she looked up, surprised. "Why?"

He swallowed hard, but the lie came out anyway. "Just ... just to show that I'm glad you're on the Christa, Suzee."

He held the bracelet out towards her. "Oh...." she said, her eyes lighting up, "that's so pretty. Where'd you get it?"

"I bought it for you," he said. Part of him hoped that Suzee would notice something suspicious in that statement - where would he have gotten the money? But she was clearly too entranced by the bracelet to care. She turned it over slowly in her hands, admiring the gleam of the silver, the soft glow of the crystalline sphere nestled at its centre.

"Thank you, Radu," she said, looking at him with no trace of her usual flirtatious manner. "You don't know how much I appreciate this." Then she started to slide the bracelet onto her wrist.

It was at that point that Radu just couldn't go on. It was bad enough to be facing slavery himself - but to inflict it onto a friend, a crewmate, was more than he could bear. He got a sudden, powerful image of having to face the others afterwards, knowing that he'd sacrificed them to save himself. Whatever was going to happen to him without the new power cell couldn't be as horrible as that.

"Suzee, no!" he yelled, reaching out and grabbing the bracelet. With as much strength as he had remaining, he twisted it, until the chunky silver bezel snapped, spitting out sparks. With a sound like a sob, he threw it into a corner, then leapt to his feet and ran headlong out of the room.

Suzee stared after him in angry bewilderment. "Radu, have you completely lost your mind?" she called after him, torn between shock and annoyance She debated running after him and giving him a piece of her mind about his behaviour. Was this "Pick on Suzee Day" or something? she wondered. But instead, she stooped down to pick up the mangled bracelet. As she examined it, she noticed that it wasn't a simple piece of jewelry. Inside the shattered casing, she could see wires and tiny microcircuits, still sparking randomly from the dying power cell. A mechanism of some sort, but one she'd never seen before.

"What in the universe...?" she whispered to herself.

~End of Part 3~

Finished? Go on to Chapter 4

Or, go back to:
Chapter 2
Chapter 1

Or, return to Kestrel's Home Page