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Spiritual Mission for Living
TRUE EXPERIENCE CHANGED MY LIFE

     It was in September of 1995, I was hanging out, drinking a little and smoking pot one evening. NOT an unusual night at the time, however, this night I found myself unable to breath... (By the way, although I always smoked pot - some times more than other times, I was always more of a lush - like BIG TIME PAST!!) I went out to the balcony for night air. I ended up falling down and passing out (as I could no longer find air), and thankfully fell into the arms (rather than falling to the floor) of my life partner and truest love “MG” who had accompanied me to the balcony. In between the time span of my fall, MG had brought me back into the house (although I was now "unconscious").  She would say I fainted or something.  I say I definitely felt as if I faced death's door at the moment of my fall and was SOMEWHERE... FLOATING.  I did not "see" God nor did I "see" angels or the "devil;" I wasn't in "heaven" and I definitely was not in "hell" BUT the feeling was one of total security and it was WONDERFUL, peaceful and warm.  I didn't go through a tunnel, but I definitely was not afraid wherever I was  ( I was afraid when I was unable to breath).  I felt as if I definitely crossed a barrier from the physical world to the spiritual realm.

     So if it was so Wonderful, why didn't I stay there?  Well for one thing I loved my MG, my family and friends. I knew I would miss them if I continued on (even though I knew then and there that Life wasn’t all physical and I now had my “answer” to Life) Secondly, I wasn't ready yet and truly felt I was given a choice to stay or come back! There were no “voices” but yet I felt a powerful loving presence and felt guided in a loving direction - and I knew things about where and what was happening to me at the time.

     Near Death Experience ("NDE")?  I do consider my experience similar to a NDE (near death experience), but I have no documented proof like true NDErs.  True NDErs are those who have documented or scientific proof to the extent that they "died" in a hospital or under medical care, and then came "back to life" according to the monitors and/or doctors.  You might say it's more "clinical and documented."  There are arguments as to any "NDE experience" anyway - some believe the experience to be false or delusional.  Some scientists, doctors and/or skeptics think some possible explanations or the result of the "experience" are from chemical releases that happen in the brain which cause one to feel as if they have left the body or the feeling of extreme happiness or euphoria (In other words, it didn’t happen but only in one' head)!  Not all NDE experiences are reported to be in a loving place, but (Thank God) I do not know of that... nor do I ever wish to travel that path.

     MY OWN CONCLUSION:  I have studied a lot about NDEs (among other things) and have concluded for myself that we really don't know the true answers or explanation of death, near death or afterlife, until we discover it for ourselves through the whole of our experiences.  On another note, we also may not know the complete answers to "LIFE" questions, although finding our purpose in living is quite a journey in itself - leading us toward many different paths.  Personally I don't care what science called my experience. I KNOW what I experienced and I can truly say I was somewhere loving, warm and safe (At the time this happened to me, I believed in God but did not understand the relationship we as humans can have with God -- but given this experience, my belief in God has strengthened and as a result of having put full faith in God's hands - life is most wonderful). Most of all, I know wherever I was, I was given a choice, to live or die... (as you can see I chose life).... When I came "back" I was totally sober and aware of went on.  I felt as if I was zapped back into my "physical body" from a spiritual place.  Luckily, I didn't have to go to the hospital or anything. While I was "out of body" I knew if I didn't get back in, I would soon end up going to the hospital - - so I was also aware of having to get back to "earth" soon or face bigger consequences... ( I believe that this is also what may happen to some  people in comas - they are out of body but are okay).

     Life Passing:  Basically, I saw my life story pass before me and knew this is not how I wanted to die, nor what I wanted to do with my "physical" life right now.  (By the way, a Near Death Experience doesn’t have to happen just through drugs or anything self-inflicted, but can also happen just by chance accidents and stuff - and it has and does change people’s lives).  I can honestly say that I had discovered "Life" through near death.  Through the experience I also saw my ("our") purpose here on earth.

       Am I Deluding Myself?  I know there are some of you who will think I was still under the "influence" or that I dreamed up this whole scenario - but even if I did (which I didn't), I still experienced a very powerful spiritual experience that has totally raised my level of consciousness.  Sometimes I  wonder if maybe it was actually an Anxiety Attack I had...which caused me to not be able to breath and then "faint" ... then again - when I truly reflect on my experience, I know it wasn't just an Anxiety Attack ... I WAS SOMEWHERE OUT OF BODY and I KNOW WHAT I FELT... But whatever happened to me, it still changed my life positively and I came to see the power of God's Love and Life so differently...I truly feel Blessed and Healed and I am wishing the same for everyone - and IT CAN HAPPEN!  Please believe me when I say FAITH  can Heal anything that ails you!!  AND it doesn't have to happen through an NDE experience such as mine.  I hope that if you came this far on my web page, that you may be interested not only on how the experience has changed me and about my "Truth", but that you are also interested in the topic of spirituality and maybe in sharing a relationship with God (or possibly even strengthening it further)... Please believe me when I say that I believe that Faith Can and Will Make a Positive Difference in your Life and those around you - Seek and You Will Find (and more than you can even imagine)!
Credibility Issue:  Not that this "should" make a difference, but to give myself a bit more "credibility" to any "skeptics," I do hold a Degree in Political Science, a minor in Communications, and I not only enjoy writing, but have worked in the area of law - these are scientific and technical studies.  Also, I have studied many different religions and met many different people from all walks of life.  I have studied the occult as well as various sacred texts such as the Bible.  I enjoy the healing nature of Christian Science and I also believe in the values of the Jewish faith as well as many other different faiths.  I am by nature a "skeptical person" in the sense that I always walk the path towards "caution."  I do not believe someone just because they say something is "true" or just because they are considered an "expert," but I Believe only when I come to a logical conclusion based on a whole bunch of research, background check, and experience - - (I also then may become hypocritcal and argue with myself, but that's a whole other story!) So perhaps in you knowing this about me now - - this makes a difference for you in what I say here is "My Truth"...
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