SPIRITUAL MISSION FOR LIVING - Choices that Make a Difference

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Topics include various religious/spiritual study; suicide prevention;

gay rights and support; bereavement/grief support; safe sex; AID/HIV support;

alcohol/drug support; disability support; pregnancy prevention and

abortion alternatives/support; interactive teen/peer support sites, etc.

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Name: Lauren Sex: F Born: Sept. 1964 Sign: Virgo/Libra (Cusp)

Nationality: Asian American Lifetime Partner: Yes - 8 yrs. and going strong!

You don't know me...and I don't know you... but the best we can do is strive to know ourselves and attempt to give back to the world -- especially when we find the answers in our own lives. Here's my story, me - the former "party gal" who now enjoys life and living, instead of death and dying ( inside... and yet still likes and does have fun!!!)

What�s My Take On this thing called �Life�

Okay - I'm not going to play games ( it really does give you nothing but grief in the end!)

So am I "full of it" or do I know a little something about this thing called Living? For starters, l will say I have probably "been there, seen it, done it" and some of it was good and fun, but a lot of the years were bad - however, I did learn a lot about life and doing things the hard way! (And still learning) We all have "issues" and the bottom line is: Can we can get over the issues and move on? This question is important because that is one of the things that will make you or break you.

Battle of the Mind

For many years... I had a battle with myself due to my "sexual orientation"

lifestyle issues (among other issues too!)! Call it what U want - gay or lesbian, it�s

just a stereotype... BUT when you are young (or even not so young) and you have no one to confide in - you struggle inside --- and that "was" me inside because I thought people would not accept me for me. Growing up we hear a lot about "sin" and especially the "sin of being gay". For me, this was scary and confusing and REAL because I didn't want to be gay! Think... would one really say to themselves...hmmm...I think today I will choose to be "gay" so I can struggle, hide my thoughts, hide my lifestyle, and deal with ignorant people (Not! LoL) But I had these feelings and it wasn't going to change or go away "permanently".

Choice Smoice - Not

A theme gays and lesbians seem to hear often is that it's a "choice" to be who we are and who we are with. The Truth Is ... it's Not a �choice� to be gay/lesbian - I was born and this is me! One thing I don�t understand is how a heterosexual person can say homosexuality is a choice - If you are not walking in our shoes how do you know? I know - because that's me! Why would I "choose" a more difficult path in life? In the beginning, I didn't accept myself because I perceived that others were not going to accept me. This can happen to anyone, and not just over the issue of an alternative (gay/lesbian/whatever) lifestyle. This could be about anything - being fat, being skinny, being too tall or short (you get the idea)...people can be mean! The point is though ... really and honestly ... it's not a choice ...

Partying Days turn into Hope & Permanent Healing

I used to be an avid partier. Because of "my" insecurity with myself, the theme of Drinking-Drugs-Rock & Roll (ok dance music too) certainly rang true. I have always been a serious type person, but I still knew what "Cool" and "Fun" was! To this day I still like �parties� ( But I do not drink to get drunk or do drugs or smoke or any of that stuff anymore because I was Blessedly Healed!) and I still have many avid party-goer friends. But without "going there" I will say that my partying days led to a scary yet wonderful experience I feel I must share... one of the purposes of this web site...and in telling you of this experience, maybe you will take something positive away with you... something we could all use more of - it's called HOPE... here's the short version:

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