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Job Application
A blonde goes in to apply for a job and she fills out an application. She takes it up to the man and he says you forgot three blanks. He asks how old are you, so she counts on her fingers and finally reaches 22, okay then how tall are you so she tries to measure herself she says 5'2, okay then what is your name, she nodes her head back and forth for a few seconds and says Jenifer. He says okay I get how you got your age and you height, but how you you get your name by noding your head back and forth, she says I was singing "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear jenifer.

Blonde Stewardess
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The
route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their
arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for
airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning,
as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed
the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the
hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the
phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't
get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess
replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is
the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says
'Do Not Disturb'!"

The Blonde Porch-Painter
Sara the blonde was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handywoman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Sara, "Yeah, I have a job for ya. How would you like to paint the porch?"
"Sure that sounds great!" said Sara.
"Well, uh, how much do you want?" asked the man.
"Is fifty bucks okay?" Sara asked.
"Yeah that's great. You'll find the paint and other things you'll need in the garage."
The man went back into his house to his wife, who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" his wife asked.
"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 15 minutes later, Sara knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the man.
He was amazed. "You painted the whole porch?"
"Yeah," Sara replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay her.
"Oh, by the way," Sara said helpfully, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Coke Machine
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts: "Can't you see I'm winning?!"

What time is it?
BLONDE: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
BLONDE: (puzzled look on her face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing,
I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get
a different answer."

The Shoe Store
This brunette walked into this shoe store for blondes and she noticed that TGIF was on all the shoes, she walked up to the sales clerk and said Gee, blondes must really like Fridays! The clerk said why do you say that? The brunette said because TGIF is on all the shoes! The clerk said Nope that stands for TOES GO IN FIRST!!!

In what position was the baby conceived?
There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal
checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the
baby conceived ?"
"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.
The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.
With this, the third women, a blond, burst into tears.
"Whats the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?".....

Two blondes were walking through the woods
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down
and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks
and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No.
Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one
half hour later they were both killed by a train.

The Bet
A blonde and a brunette are sitting in a bar and watching the 11:00 P.M. news. A man is standing on the ledge of a high-rise building, contemplating suicide.

The brunette says to the blonde: "I'll bet you $20.00 that the man jumps off that building and commits suicide."

The blonde thinks for a moment then replies: "OK, you're on!"

They watch for a few minutes and sure enough, the man jumps off the ledge. The blonde sighs and reaches for her wallet, but the brunette stops her, saying: "I can't take your money - I feel too guilty. I have to confess that I watched the 6:00 P.M. news this evening and I knew that the man would jump.

The blonde replied: "Oh! I watched the 6:00 P.M. news too, but I didn't think he'd jump off again!"

Three blondes are walking on the beach
Three blondes are walking on the beach.. Find genie lamp...
Genie says "look girls, there are three of you.. so only ONE wish each!
1st blonde says "Genie, I think that I would like to be a little bit smarter"
... POOF!!! She is a REDHEAD!
2nd blonde says "Genie,... I think I would like to be a little smarter still!"
...POOF!!! She is a BRUNETTE!
3rd blonde says "Genie... I have been a blonde ALL my life!..Men buy me
cars,..give me money,...and jewels... I think I would like to be a little DUMBER!!"
...POOF!!! She is a MAN!!

Blonde Swimmer
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race.
The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out.
The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde".
The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."

blonde Horseback Riding

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted & the
horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady & rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to
slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but
cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the
horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse
gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try &
throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in
the stirrup & she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as
her head is struck against the ground again & again. As her head is
battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness
when........
the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

A Blonde in a Snow Storm
A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart now... if you want to you can follow me over to Target."

Blonde Pilots
A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this." After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in. A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan."

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