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Can you take kids to China (and live to tell about it)?
Yes! I have done it. I know many other people have. It won't be easy, that's for
sure, but it can be done. Your kids may not have the fancy classrooms, soccer teams,
boy/girl scouts, gymnastics, etc., but living overseas will teach them a tremendous
amount about life, expand their horizons, and it can bring your family closer together
by spending time together, and sharing lots of unique experiences.
It's getting much easier now, too, because access to quality health care, imported foods, restaurants, diapers, washing machines, and western-style schools (if you can afford them) is increasing.
Be aware that living in China will be stressful for most kids. They will be stared at constantly, people will want to touch their hair (if it's blonde) and skin, and strangers will ask to have their picture taken with your kids. Our daughter, who was one-year-old at the time, didn't seem to mind at all. Our son (5) was very uncomfortable and would act rudely toward people. They would always say, "He's a bad boy." In fact, that was just his way of dealing with the attention and pressure. If your children start showing unusual or undesirable behavior, it could be their way of dealing with the stress and attention. Some kids spit, hit, or just ignore the people. Our son would chew on his sleeve to deal with the stress. Some deal with it fine. Be understanding with your kids and give them time (we're talking in months or years) to adjust.
Your children may or may not be accepted by Chinese children. If they are school-aged
they may have more problems being accepted. Chinese are very concious of differences in
skin color. When we have taken our kids to Chinese events here in the
States, the Chinese kids ignore our kids. I will talk about schooling elsewhere.
It's difficult for an American family to fit into the Chinese society. As you know, the one-child policy rules. Stay-at-home moms are unusual among educated urban families. Grandparents usually play an important part in childcare in the early years and the "little emperor" is doted upon. At age 2 or 3 they are fed into the government child care system--kindergarten (you er yuan), then primary school at about 7.
Well, I'm going to stop here, though you probably have tons more questions if you're thinking about taking kids to China. Try to relax. Don't worry about them getting dirty. Be understanding and give them time. Don't put them in situations where they will get stressed out. Expect to spend a lot of time with your kids. Don't expect to do all the fun things the single American teachers do.
If you are a single teacher and you know an ex-pat family, consider offering to baby-sit or help out with the family's kids. They will really appreciate it.
Back to family issues pageFred Gale
Lumabner@aol.com