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Dreaming And Drowning
The  Calm After the Storm
Hypocrite
never said goodbye
and it hurts so hard
to see the look
in your eye
as you tell me why
you miss it so much
and why you cry
when you think too much
about the times you had
memories of your dad
and how every thought
just makes you so sad
so i shed a tear
as i think about how
i could not bear
life minus you
without you here

when we went to the grave
and you said a prayer
i've never felt so brave
but i wouldn't dare
take you for granted
and when you said you missed him
and the waters flowed
i tried to hide it
so you wouldn't know
but you glanced at me
and said i love you
that just made me realize
that i'd miss you more
than i could ever imagine

and i know our time here
it's limited
and i know your love
it's unlimited
and you will live on
long after
you're gone...
the first time i met you
i knew
nothing this beautiful
could ever be true
that look in your eye
took over me
new beginning
in this bright fantasy

you see it's true
remind me
i'd carry you
i'd drop you

knew you'd feel the same
but playing that game
made good things end
even though
i did all that i can
all my wants were there
not like you even cared

you see it's true
remind me
i'd carry you
i'd drop you

ever night i prayed
God, something like you
eat off the knife in my back
thrown from a whore like you
this way must i feel?
life is worth more
minus this fuckin hate

but you see it's true
you loved me for so long
i'd carry you
i'd drop
in the lies the truth hides behind your mask
which you fucked to death without love of our past
tear away the pain of knowing
i'm here to wonder why
your words in the form of a bullet
bludgeon my trust and shit it out
erase my thoughts and erase the doubt

but i'll love you that way
forever that way
cuz in life you're that way
in my heart to stay
unless i push you away
i'll have it no other way

scars left behind
doubts wander in my mind
enter reality without you
sound judgment reminds you
experience against hope
what will i make of this
i thought i'd never make it through
life without you
"ponder this"
Wanting, Waiting, Looking, Finding
that special feeling when i'm close to you
leave's me realing with empty thoughts of you
i got lost today...inside your memories
time can heal the wounds...of yesterday

And i lie...just to feel good
And i lie...cuz no one else would
And I lie to tell myself everything is fine
And i lie to fill the void of not knowing why

I wish i had all the answers
Your words are a spreading cancer
The answers are becoming more clear
you are what i need here
time will heal my fear
if only you were near
Beautiful Sin
high school years
wasted lies
we hide behind
false ideas built on beauty
beautiful sin

lust what they can't have
proud to love ourselves
tell me i'm pretty
we'll ignore those beneath us
not worthy of a hello
or even a look
because we're the beautiful
beautiful sin

so gorgeous our lies
so gorgeous my life
we don't know what we've done
the pain we've caused
the everlasting scars

mommy tells me that's fine
i will be something some day
i am something
i am beautiful
beautiful sin

it's all just an act
played out
through insecurities and sin
This Holy Medium
life has changed
i've talked to you
for a while now
you're a pretty cool girl
you've showed me a different way
a different light...
a ray of sunshine to brighten my day
if i could see ur smile
i'm sure it would cause me to smile back
if personality and dedication equals beauty
than you must be gorgeous
and that kind of beauty is lacking in this world
for that i'd like to look in your eyes
wrap my arms around you
and thank you
thank you for being you because
if there was anything resembling an angel here on earth
it must be you
Shades of Gray
life sucks sometimes
friendships turn to lies
associate yourself with no one but your own
live life the way you want
spit in my face again and again
i'll leave you there
i wont turn back
won't allow you the pleasure
of watching me cry
because i know you need it
to make yourself seem worthy of guidance
my shoulders will speak to you
my back opens up it's mouth for you to hear
take it all in, i dont think your're strong enuff
it might be too tough to bare
your beauty is nothing but ugliness to me
because i used to see light when i looked in to your eyes
i used to see what i always thought the world had to offer
i used to see myself reflected in your sunshine
now your eyes are black and it's raining
there's a cloud over your head
it's dark like you and you can't tell why
i can't tell you why
choose your path
make sure i'm not in the way of it
Clear a Mile Away
hey you
what are you up to
just playin along
said i'm wrapped around his finger
said i can't go wrong

entire lifetimes pass me by
rage-filled hearts explode
my life's a lie
in which you've been exposed

and he said what's goin on
and he said i've come far
and he explained his reasons
and he contorts his actions
but he fails to understand
his actions prove his soul
and his words can not hide
his feelings untold

you see you can fake
and you can try to fool
and you can hide the way
you really feel
but don't fuckin lie
just be fuckin real
ILL Advised Decisions of the Wrong Head
it's innocence lost
enter the wound of undecidedness
the bells ring in my head
consciousness dissolves in the pile before me
and left to wonder what could have been

lessons learned through means malevolent
brain flipped on it's side
constant change of direction
introduces dizziness and pounding impulses

where am i going instead of what's right
the light shines on the decision wronged
stars illuminate my faults
sun burns the indecisions past on for the sake of the weak

what is left for me
when no one else is there to question
judgements familiarized through television
tell me what's my opinion

tell me
what's my opinion
DECIDE FOR ME
WHAT'S MY OPINION??
MAKE YOURS MINE!
MY FUCKING OPINION!
dirty
what's my mind thinking
at the sight of this
corruption, destruction
of all that's innocent
blooming so tender
so rich in filth
so pretty, so cute
it'll only take a second
impurify to destroy purity
all that's ripe
that look in your eye
sparkle an invitation
like a knock on the door
and a vein to the heart
is this my choice
cuz i can't find it
it's innocence lost
when everything
i've ever been taught
reminds me of your face
the moment of truth
lock the door just in case
dont say a word
no one really needs to know
it's all over now
time to go
No Two Eyes…

I see the world through my father’s eyes.
I see a world disguised by my innocence and your guilt.
I see a world consumed by one too many lies.

I see the world through my father’s eyes.
I see a world ruining all the trust that we had built.
I see a world standing still as every second dies.

I see the world through my father’s eyes.
I see a world filled with the darkness of a cold winter bed.
I see a world sold through TV that every person buys.

I see the world through my father’s eyes.
I see a world whose headline reads “Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound to the Head.”
I see a world that turns the page in the blink of an eye.

I see the world through my father’s eyes.
I see a world that is running away looking for the light.
I see a world in need of finding arms open wide.

I see the world through my father’s eyes.
I see a world willing to collapse without a fight.
I see a world ready to run away and hide.

I see the world through my father’s eyes.
I’ll tell one more wicked lie trying to disguise myself.
All those little things are the same in my father’s eyes.
 
I see the world through my father’s eyes
I see myself through my father’s eyes.

I’m already dead to this world.

 

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