"Picking Up The Pieces" © January 2001 Nancy F. Thysell. "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions. All rights reserved. No infringement on any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.

TITLE: Picking Up The Pieces-Part 2

AUTHOR: Nancy, the Nifty Lady (Niftylady51@aol.com)

Picking Up The Pieces-Part 2

Johnny sat impatiently in the waiting room of Dr. Randall Shields office, his knee bouncing to an unheard beat. He had attempted to read through one of the periodicals on the table but nothing held his interest for long.

"Mr. Gage," the female receptionist called.

"Yes?"

"Dr. Shields will see you know. Come on back," she instructed. Johnny pushed his way through the closed door from the waiting room to the corridor that led to the private offices. The receptionist met him in the hall and guided him to Dr. Shields' office

"Have a seat. The doctor will be with you directly."

The door closed quietly behind him. He took a moment to look around the doctor's office. A beautiful mahogany desk dominated the room and was accented with a high back burgundy leather chair. The walls were decorated with diplomas and artistic photography. Johnny noted that the doctor had shot the photos himself. He made a mental note to himself to ask him about his photography. A cozy conversation area was positioned in front of the desk consisting of a love seat and two overstuffed armchairs. Johnny selected one of the overstuffed armchairs and made himself as comfortable as possible and waited. A few minutes later Dr. Shields entered.

"Morning John."

"Good morning Doctor."

Dr. Shields hesitated a moment then sat down in the matching chair across from Johnny.

"A bit formal today?"

Johnny looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"I notice that you always call me Doctor or Doctor Shields. The rest of the guys usually call me Doc," the doctor informed his patient and saw Johnny flinch at the name "doc."

Then Johnny shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't realize that," he responded vaguely.

"Well, you do. What's going on there?"

"Huh?"

"John, I've noticed you involuntarily react to 'doc'," the doctor pointed out as Johnny flinched again. Johnny stared at Dr. Shields a moment, trying to think.

"Shannon," he whispered with revelation.

"What about Shannon?" the doctor urged.

"She...she always called Taroboli 'Doc'," Johnny finally revealed.

"Okay. That's probably the root then," Shield commented confidently. Johnny watched as he made notes on his pad. He looked up at the young paramedic. "Would you rather call me by my first name?"

Johnny shrugged his shoulders. "I guess."

"Well, you may call me Rand if you'd like," the doctor offered.

"Okay. Thanks Doctor...uh...Rand."

Johnny shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Dr. Shields observed the young paramedic for a moment.

"Did you want to talk about anything specific, John?"

Johnny glanced up nervously at the doctor and return his gaze to studying his feet. He touched his fingertips together and took a deep breath.

"Do you think it's possible for me to be falling in love with Shannon now?" he finally asked.

Dr. Shields leaned back in his chair, and nodded knowingly.

"I think that's possible. Explain to me what you're feeling."

"I think about her a lot. And I seem to be looking for her in my dreams. I often meet my Grandfather and we talk. He told me Shannon and Raven are there but I can't find them. Once I went to a house and a ten-year-old girl opened the door to me. It was Shannon. She threw her arms around me and said she knew I would come. That I'd save her. But I didn't save her or Raven. I failed them both!"

The doctor made a note of the anguish in Johnny's voice as he talked.

"John, I want you to tell me in as much detail as you can about these dreams, if you would," he instructed. Johnny nodded stiffly.

"I'll try," Gage promised. For the rest of the hour he tried to reconstruct the dreams as he remembered them. The doctor took notes and just let Johnny talk. Before they knew it, the hour was up.

"I think you made a lot of progress today John," Dr. Shields commented. "How are you dealing with the grief?"

Again Johnny shrugged. "I dunno."

"Would you like to work with a grief counselor?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there are counselors that specifically work with people going through the grieving process. I can set you up with one if you'd like," Shields offered.

Johnny pondered for a moment before responding. "Yeah. I think I'd like that."

"I'll get you a referral and have their office call you to make an appointment."

"Thanks Doctor...uh...Rand." Johnny smiled slightly.

Randall Shields smiled at his patient. "Good. I'll see you in group on Thursday and back here on Friday."

Johnny and the doctor rose to their feet and shook hands.

"I'll see ya then," Johnny agreed. He left the private office and returned to the receptionist and scheduled his return appointment. He felt a bit better as he left the office.

# # # # # # #

One week later...

It was a clear, beautiful day. The sky was as blue as Johnny could ever remember. He was walking along an unfamiliar path. The vegetation was lush with foliage and flowers. He found it breathtaking and wished he had his camera.

He walked for a long time aware that he was unfamiliar with the area but taking note of the unique landscape. As he crested the rise in the path, he found himself entering a manicured garden through a wrought iron gate. The gate swung noiselessly under his slight push and he passed through. He carefully shut the gate and began to follow a bricked path toward what, he didn't know but felt compelled. Eventually the path opened onto a set of white wrought iron table and chairs. To his left was a rope hammock strung between two ancient oak trees. On his right was a glider with inviting cushions. A small whitewashed cottage faced the patio. A delicious aroma wafted from the open door. He was hard pressed to decide what it was at first before concluding that it had to be brownies baking. His mouth began to water and wondered if he might get a chance to sample them. He found himself knocking softly at the open door.

A moment later, she appeared at the door. Her black hair shone brightly in the sunlight and still hung below her waist, lush and straight. Her dark eyes greeted him with warmth and love and she smiled.

"Johnny!" she exclaimed happily.

"Shannon?" he asked uncertainly. I must be dreaming.

"We've been waiting for you to come," she said.

"We?"

She smiled and nodded. "Yes. Raven and I have been waiting for you to come."

"Raven?" He thought he must sound stupid. Shannon turned her head and called into the cottage.

"Raven baby? Your daddy's here."

Johnny felt the perspiration break out on his forehead and his stomach fill with butterflies as he waited with anticipation. A small toddler came forward and wrapped her arms around Shannon's legs and looked up at Johnny with round, dark brown eyes. She too had dark, lustrous hair that had was divided into two neat braids. Shannon stroked her head.

"Raven? This is your daddy. Do you remember him?" Shannon asked softly. The little girl looked up at her mother and then over to her father, Johnny. Suddenly a broad smile crossed her lips and she raised up her chubby arms to Johnny.

"Daddy!" she squealed. Johnny almost couldn't swallow past the lump in his throat over hearing his daughter call him "Daddy" for the first time. He bent down to envelop her into his arms. Her tiny arms surrounded his neck and he buried his head in her hair, breathing deeply. Tears formed in his eyes as he held her tightly.

"Oh, my baby. My baby girl," he whispered. He kissed the top of her head. "I love you baby."

Raven lifted her head and placed a wet kiss on his cheek. "I wuv you too!"

"Why don't you two go sit down and I'll bring you some brownies and milk?" Shannon suggested. Johnny looked at her with grateful eyes and carried his daughter to the glider and sat down. They played patty-cake for a minute or two as Raven giggled. Johnny felt awestruck. He knew it had to be a dream but he never wanted to wake up. Shannon returned with a plate of cookies and the milk-a glass for Johnny and a bottle for Raven. She sat beside Johnny on the glider and for a while they sat and enjoyed the refreshments in companionable silence. When the last of the milk was gone, Raven snuggled against Johnny's chest, stuck her thumb in her mouth and fell asleep.

"She's so beautiful," he commented to Shannon and looked into her eyes. "Like you. Shannon, I'm sorry I never told you that I loved you."

Shannon smiled shyly and looked at her hands. "Thank you for telling me now. I always hoped that you did," she said in her quiet way. Johnny took her hand in his. It was so soft, warm, and light in his.

"It's taken me some time to realize it," he confessed. Raven squirmed in his arms. "It isn't fair! You should have lived. Both of you!"

"No. John. We weren't supposed to. But without you, neither of us would be here. For that I will be eternally grateful."

"What? I don't understand."

"Because without you, I'd have died alone. I would never have had Raven."

"I still don't..." Shannon placed two fingers on his lips stopping him.

"Now's not the time for those answers Johnny." Shannon then gently touched his cheek. "Someday but not today."

Johnny's vision began to narrow and he realized he was leaving the dream.

"No! I don't want to leave!" he cried out as everything turned to black. He sat up in bed, sweating and trembling. He looked around the familiarity of his bedroom and tried to slow down his breathing. He picked up his pillow and shoved it into his face. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to go back and be with Shannon and Raven. He laid back down on the bed and tossed the pillow aside and stared at the ceiling and cried.

# # # # # # #

Mike Stoker finished buttoning his uniform shirt and closed his locker with his usual quiet flair. Marco and Chet were bickering over some nonsensical point. He made his way past the two and nodded a greeting to Jeff Moran, Roy's substitute. The young paramedic flashed a friendly smile and got down to the business of putting on his uniform.

"No sign of Johnny. No big surprise there," Mike thought as he made his way across the apparatus bay. He found C-Shift lounging around the day room and said hello as he entered the room. He found a fresh pot of coffee brewing on the stove and poured himself a cup. At eight o'clock the members of C-Shift began their departures except for their senior paramedic, Bill Sanchez. He had resigned himself to waiting until Gage actually ran through the back door before allowing himself to depart, thus making himself available in case a replacement had to be called in. Sanchez sat on the sofa with Henry reading the morning paper and waited.

Captain Stanley poked his head through the day room door and announced "Roll call." Mike got up and made his way to the truck bay, taking his position in line. Marco, Chet and Jeff hurried from the locker room and fell into line. Gage was noticeably missing. Hank frowned as he surveyed his crew with one missing man. He took the official roll and handed out the daily assignment. Afterward, he stuck his head back into the day room.

"Sanchez, Gage is late. Can you hang on a bit?"

"No problem Cap."

"Thanks Pal. I'll see if I can find out where he is." Hank sighed as he returned to his office and dialed Johnny's number from memory. The phone rang and rang without even the benefit of an answering machine. Well, maybe he was on his way in and got caught in traffic.

Nine o'clock came and no word from Johnny. Hank was forced to call in a replacement. Sanchez stayed until Peter Rivers showed up. Worried, Captain Stanley placed a call to Roy to see if he had heard from Johnny lately. Roy became concerned when he took the call from his captain and promised that he'd take a ride out to Johnny's ranch and check on him.

"Thanks Roy. Call me when you know anything," Hank told him.

"Don't worry Cap. I will," Roy assured his captain. He hung up the phone and got dressed and told JoAnne where he was going. He was more worried about Johnny than ever before. He took JoAnne's car since it was an automatic and didn't require shifting. He arrived at the ranch thirty minutes later.

Johnny's Land Rover and new truck were parked in the yard. Roy climbed onto the porch and rang the bell and waited. After a minute, he rapped loudly with his knuckles on the door. After another minute he used his key to Johnny's house to unlock the door. He swung open the door and stepped inside the house. The living room was as neat and tidy as Roy could ever remember seeing it. Almost as if no one lived there.

"Johnny?" Roy called out but got no answer. He climbed the steps to the second floor and walked down the hall to his friend's bedroom. The door to the room was open and he peered into the darkened room. "Johnny?"

Still, he received no answer. His eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room and he thought he could make out someone on the bed. His heart sank as he found Johnny curled in the fetal position. The smell of alcohol assaulted his senses. This was not typical of the friend he knew. He returned downstairs and called the station and let Hank know what he had learned so far. He hated having to report his friend too drunk to work and that Hank would probably have to write Johnny up for it but there wasn't anything else he could do. Then he called JoAnne to let her know that he'd be staying with Johnny until he woke up.

He walked back upstairs and checked on his partner again. He could see the anguish on his friend's face beneath the matted dark hair. He picked up a waste basket and filled it with the empty liquor bottles that littered the night stand and floor. Then he took the empties with him as he returned downstairs. After disposing of the trash he returned to the living room and relaxed in Johnny's recliner by turning on the TV to pass the time while he waited for Johnny to wake up. He was grateful that being Saturday there was plenty of sports programming to choose from while he waited.

# # # # # # #

The sun had set and still the house was quiet except for the droning of the TV set. Roy dozed off and on during the golf tournament. At six o'clock he checked on his friend once more.

"Johnny," he called loudly as he entered the room. Johnny moaned and tried to lift his head from his pillow.

"Huh?"

"Wake up sleeping ugly!"

"Roy?" Johnny mumbled as he opened one eye. "Whaaa...what are you doing here?"

"Waiting on you to wake up. You missed work today," he pointed out.

"Oh, man!" Johnny exclaimed through his pounding hangover. His mouth tasted like a garbage heap. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. "How long have you been here?"

"Most of the day. You feel like talking about it?"

"About what?"

"About what made you drink yourself into a stupor. That's not like you Johnny. What's going on?"

Johnny swung his legs over the side of the bed and slowly sat up, shutting his eyes against the pain and groaned.

"You feel as bad as you look?" Roy teased.

"Twice!" Johnny responded and scrubbed his face with his hands. He rose unsteadily to his feet and swayed slightly. Roy moved forward to give his friend a hand but Johnny waved him off. "I'm okay."

"You couldn't prove it by me."

Johnny glared at his friend and crossed to the master bath.

"Would you like me to fix you something to eat?" Roy offered. Johnny hesitated in the doorway.

"Sure. Anything," he answered and then disappeared into the small room. Roy made his way to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee before rooting around for the fixings of a meal. He heard Johnny run the water for a shower and hoped that it would clear his friend's disposition.

By the time Johnny had showered, dressed and made his way downstairs, Roy had dinner on the table. Johnny reached for the coffee first and drank the hot liquid greedily. He took his seat at the table and looked at the spread Roy had prepared.

"Man, Roy! Where'd you find all this food?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.

"In your pantry, remember JoAnne got your pretty well stocked up when you moved in. Don't you ever use any of that?"

Johnny shrugged his shoulders, embarrassed. "I guess I've been either eating out or just not eating."

"I just worked with what I found," Roy explained.

"Well, thanks Partner," he said gratefully.

They dug into the meal. Johnny's appetite really wasn't that great and they ate in silence with Roy waiting for Johnny to tell him what was going on. So when Johnny pushed his plate away, Roy decided it was time for a talk.

Just as Roy began to broach the subject the telephone rang.

"Excuse me, Roy," Johnny said as he rose to answer the wall phone. "Hello?...Yes, this is John Gage ... What? ... Oh, yeah. Dr. Shields mentioned that. He said you'd be calling ... When, uh just a moment. Let me get some paper." Johnny searched quickly around the counter and in the drawer and came up with a scrap of paper and a pen. "Go ahead ... Uh huh ... 407 Parkview? Yeah, I know where that is ... Tomorrow? I think I can make it. What time? ... Okay. I'll see you at two o'clock ... Thank you Mrs. Porter. I appreciate you calling ... All right ... Bye."

He hung up the phone and crossed back to the table and resumed his seat.

"Who was that?" Roy asked, pointing at the paper. Johnny looked at the paper and then at his friend.

"Mrs. Porter at the grief counseling center. Dr. Shields wants me to see her for some counseling," Johnny explained.

"I see," Roy remarked as he processed this information. "I'm glad."

Johnny looked up sharply, questioning. "Why?"

"Because you're a mess, that's why! Johnny how long have we known each other?" Roy asked but forged ahead, not waiting for an answer. "I've never known you to drink anything harder than beer. I must have thrown out five or six liquor bottles this morning. That's not like you."

"How would you know?" Johnny asked tersely. "You've never been through what I went through. How do you expect me to act?"

"I don't know but I know drinking like that isn't the answer either. I've never known you to fail to show up for work, especially because you were hung over," his friend pointed out. Johnny gave him a sour look.

"Well, I guess there's a first time for everything."

"You want to tell me what set this off?" Roy urged. Johnny leaned back in the chair and rolled his eyes.

"Not really...but you aren't going home until I do, are you?"

Roy shook his head. "So you might as well tell me."

Johnny sighed and placed his hands flat on the table. "I had another dream only this time I found Shannon and Raven."

Roy listened attentively as Johnny relayed what he remembered about the dream. He looked at his partner when he finally finished and felt at a loss for words. Johnny stared at Roy for a long moment, his eyes full of sadness.

"I wanted to die, Roy. I wanted to be with them so bad. You can't imagine! But I can't die...at least not now, not like this. I realized if I did then I couldn't be with them...ever!

# # # # # # #

Roy left Johnny's house uncertain if he should leave him alone. Talking about the dream, Shannon and Raven was an emotional drain on both of them. Roy tried to put himself in Johnny's shoes and imagine what it would be like if he had lost JoAnne and Jennifer. He felt an urgency to get home and hug his family.

# # # # # # #

Johnny parked his Rover in the covered parking garage of the high rise building. He was early. Half of him wanted to get back in the car and drive back home. But the other half of him knew he needed to keep his appointment. He entered the lobby and pushed the button for the elevator. A striking woman joined him as he waited. He couldn't help but notice her porcelain white skin beneath thick curly auburn hair. Every detail about her was immaculate. He couldn't help staring. Her eyes were azure blue and her lips a dark rose red. She wore a two-piece pants suit in dusky rose. Johnny felt enchanted. The woman was totally obliviously to the affect she was having on the handsome paramedic.

The elevator arrived and the doors opened. The woman stepped into the car and Johnny almost failed to follow her. The doors were closing as he realized it and he struck the closing door with his hand to stop its action. The woman looked at him then, with disdain and pushed the button for her floor. Johnny smiled apologetically and reached over to punch his floor's button and then realized that it was already lit. They rode to the 10^th floor in silence. The doors opened and Johnny placed his hand over the opened door for the woman to exit first. Then he followed her off. He stopped and checked the directory and found himself following the soft sashay of the woman's walk down the hall. He was surprised when she opened the door to 1024 and he followed her inside the office. This time she did turn and give him a look that clearly wondered why he was following her. She signed in at the reception desk and then took a seat on the far side of the room. Johnny signed below her name ... Claire Dunbaer ... and then took a seat near the door. A few minutes later, a young woman opened the door to the inner office.

"Mrs. Dunbaer?" she called and the woman arose. Her movements fluid and graceful as she crossed the room and followed the younger woman. Johnny watched mesmerized, committing to memory every thing about the mysterious woman. And finding himself anxious to know more about the beautiful Mrs. Dunbaer.

# # # # # # #

Johnny was on time for his next shift. After roll call, during which Gage was assigned latrine duty, Captain Stanley called John into his office.

"Have a seat Pal," Hank suggested. Johnny sat down, ready to be chewed out for failing to show up for the last shift. "You want to tell me about last shift?"

Johnny moved uncomfortably in his chair and responded contritely, "I'm sorry Cap. It won't happen again."

"That's not what I meant. I know it won't happen again. I want to know why it happened in the first place."

The young paramedic shrugged his shoulders and struggled with his answer. He found looking at his hands easier than looking at his Captain. "I guess I'm not handling my feelings very well," he finally sighed. "I'm seeing Dr. Shields twice a week, as well as the group session and now I'm going to grief counseling. Sometimes, Cap I feel like I'm not making any progress at all. What happened the other day...well, let's just say the memories hurt too much and I tried to drown my sorrows in booze."

"I hope you realize that drinking never solved anything," Stanley pointed out kindly. The younger man chuckled lightly.

"Believe me Cap when I tell you, I know that now. I think I have a bit of a hang over still."

"John, we all know you've been through hell and back. And I've tried to make allowances for that but I still have my responsibilities. I can only go so far. I wanted you to know that your...uh, ...your absence last shift has been officially logged as a sick day. Next time something like this happens, I'll have to write you up. Understood?"

Johnny nodded. "Yes Cap. Don't worry. It won't happen again," he promised. Stanley gave his paramedic a smile and slapped his hands on his desk.

"Well, good! Then, I suggest you get busy before Jeff has to do all the work himself. Oh, by the way, Roy's been cleared to return to duty next shift."

That made the younger man smile broadly. "That's great! I know he's probably tired of the desk duty at headquarters. Does Jeff know?" Johnny asked of his temporary partner.

"Not yet. Headquarters is sending his paperwork down later. It looks like he's going to get a permanent assignment over at 29's."

"That should make Jeff happy. Finally, he'll get to settle into a set routine," Johnny commented as he took his leave.

The rest of the shift followed a typical day of calls for both the engine and the squad. They responded to a couple of traffic accidents, one heart attack, a kitchen fire, one false alarm and two dumpster fires-nothing too strenuous for the men of A-shift. Johnny retired early and tried to get caught up on his sleep. But he lay there, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. His mind began to wander and he found himself thinking about the mysterious Mrs. Dundaer. What had brought her to grief counseling? He thought perhaps he'd try to be early for his next appointment.

# # # # # # #

Jessica Reynolds lifted the hood of her 1973 Gremlin and stared at the billowing steam rising from the radiator and groaned.

"Now what am I supposed to do!" the young woman moaned. Stepping back from the escaping steam, she turned and looked up and down the highway, hoping that one of the cars speeding by might stop. It was nearly nine a.m. and the morning rush hour was finally dwindling down. Discouraged, she rounded the car to the passenger's side, opened the door and sat down on the edge of the seat. "I'm going to get fired," she decided ruefully, trying not to cry. The sound of a vehicle pulling onto the shoulder made her raise her head to look. A Land Rover was coming to a stop. She watched as a tall, dark and handsome young man exited the vehicle. She chuckled to herself. When was the last time her horoscope promised her that?

"You need some help?" he asked as he approached.

"I'm afraid so," Jessica admitted. John Gage took a look at the engine and then peered under the car.

"Looks like the radiator's blown," he told her. "I think you'll have to have it towed to a shop." Johnny wiped his hands on his blue jeans.

"Oh, dear. I was afraid of that."

"There's a gas station about a mile up the road. I could run you up there, if you want me to. My name is John Gage."

"Hi John Gage. My name is Jessica Reynolds," she smiled and extended her hand which Johnny shook.

"I'm afraid it's not a very good day for me," Jessica sighed. "I overslept, put a run in my stocking, ran out of cat food, and now this! I just hope my boss is understanding!"

Johnny gave her his infamous grin. "I'm sure he'll understand your car breaking down. It happens."

"She," Jessica corrected. "I hope she does."

"Well, then let's get you to that gas station," Johnny chuckled as he took her by the elbow to escort her to his Rover. She hesitated a moment.

"Uh, Mr. Gage," she began.

"Johnny. My friends call me Johnny," he told her with a smile.

She smiled back at him. "Johnny. I hope this doesn't sound ungrateful but could you show me some identification. I mean, I don't know you..."

Johnny smiled as he pulled his wallet out and showed her his fire department i.d. "I don't blame you at all."

"You're a fireman?"

"And a paramedic."

"Really! How fascinating! I've never met a fireman before," she said as they walked to the Land Rover. "Or a paramedic." Johnny opened the passenger door for her and she climbed into the vehicle. Maybe breaking down hadn't been such a terrible thing after all.

# # # # # # #

Johnny waited in the Rover while Jessica used the pay phone. He didn't want to leave until he was sure she was taken care of. The gas station attendant told her that he'd take a look at her car if she had it towed to his place. So now Jessica was on the phone, first calling her job and then the automobile club.

From his advantage point in the car, Johnny could observe the young woman. She had shoulder length dark blond hair. He figured that she was in her mid-twenties with an average build. He smiled to himself when he realized that he was actually starting to notice what nice young women looked like. Maybe he was starting to make some progress after all. Perhaps he should ask Jessica for her phone number. It had been a long time since he had been on a date.

When Jessica hung up the phone, Johnny got out of the Rover and rounded the vehicle to open the door for her.

"Everything okay?"

Jessica tried to smile. "I guess. I need to go back to the car and wait for tow truck. Look, you've been really nice to stay with me but I don't want to keep you from anything. If you could just drop me off back there, that would be wonderful."

"Nonsense. I don't mind. Really. I didn't have any plans this morning and I wouldn't dream of leaving a damsel in distress alone on the side of the road." Johnny gave her his infamous smile and Jessica felt herself melt a little, that is, until she noticed Johnny's wedding band. She frowned as he moved back around to the driver's side. Figures. All the nice ones are married! I wonder what his wife would think if she knew he was helping me right now?

He took his place behind the wheel and turned the ignition. He had to turn toward Jessica to back up and he flashed her a smile. She returned it with a timid one. As he pulled onto the road he asked, "Did your boss give you much grief?"

"Actually, no. I was surprised. She usually rants and raves over stuff like this. She said to come in when I could."

"Well, I guess that was a relief."

"And how. Mrs. Edith Dalaney is not someone you'd ever want to be on her bad side," Jessica laughed. Johnny loved how it sounded and smiled with her.

"Well, I'm glad it isn't a problem for you today," he told her as he parked behind the Gremlin.

"Me too. Look Johnny, you really don't need to stay. Now that the tow truck is on the way, I'll be fine. Really."

"It sounds like you're trying to get rid of me," he chuckled. She blushed.

"No. No, it's just that I wouldn't want to keep you from...anything." Or anyone Jessica thought.

"Don't worry about it. I don't have any plans this morning or tonight. I came off a twenty-four hour shift this morning so I have the next two days off. Say, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" he asked impulsively. Jessica was taken aback and felt hurt that a married man would ask her out. That someone who seemed as nice as Johnny would cheat on his wife.

"Uh. No. Sorry. I don't do that," she told him.

"You don't eat dinner?" Johnny asked, surprised.

"No. Of course I eat dinner. I mean, I don't go out with married men," she explained feeling awkward. Johnny looked a bit stunned as to why she would assume that he was married and then he remembered the ring. He looked down at it and spun it around his finger. Jessica noticed the sad expression on his face as he contemplated his ring.

"I...uh...I'm not married anymore," he said huskily. He tried to keep the emotion from creeping into his voice. "My wife died after giving birth to our daughter," he said softly. Jessica felt a lump form in her throat.

"I'm so sorry," she finally said. Johnny stared out the window, unshed tears in his eyes.

"Excuse me," he apologized. Jessica placed a comforting hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up anything painful."

"It's okay. I'm still trying to adjust. I've been missing them a lot lately."

"Them?"

Johnny gave her a pained look. "Our daughter only lived a short time."

"Oh, how terrible for you. How long has it been?" she asked gently.

Johnny took in a ragged breath. He didn't want to break down and cry in front of a complete stranger. "Not that long, really. A couple of months. It's a complicated story."

"I don't know what to say," she admitted.

"Would you like to see their pictures?"

"Sure."

Johnny reached over the seat and opened his duffle bag and removed the envelop. He took out the photographs and handed them to Jessica.

"That's Shannon. As you can see, she was pregnant with Raven."

"She's beautiful, Johnny. And Raven is your daughter?

"Yes. This is the Polaroid that the nurse took after she was born."

Jessica smiled at the tiny, crying face. Then she looked at the one of Johnny holding his baby. She looked up at Johnny's face then.

"That was taken after Raven died," he told her softly. "I didn't even know the nurse took it. I found the picture later."

"How terrible for you! To lose both of them. I'm so sorry," Jessica told him. She really didn't know what to say and "I'm sorry" felt so inadequate.

"It's been hard for many reasons. Maybe I can tell you about it some day."

They sat in companionable silence for the next few minutes. Then the tow truck arrived. After the car was secured to the truck, Johnny and Jessica watched him take off.

"Now what?" Johnny asked her.

"Well, the gas station attendant said he'd look at it and give me a call at work, so I guess I need to get to my office."

"Can I give you that ride?" Johnny offered.

"Thank you. That's most kind of you."

"No problem. By the way, have you changed your mind about having dinner with me?" he asked as he put the car in gear.

"I think I might be persuaded," she giggled.

"Great! I can pick you up at your office when you get off. We can come back here if your car is ready before we go to dinner."

"Oh, Johnny. You're a real life saver!"

Johnny grinned. "That's what I'm trained to do."

Jessica smiled. She was looking forward to her evening with her rescuer. Johnny smiled too. It was the first time in a very long time that he felt "normal."

# # # # # # #

Two days later, Johnny bounced his way into the locker room, anxious to see Roy. He knew his partner was there because his car was back in its usual spot in the parking lot.

"Good morn'n. Good morn'n!" he called out cheerily as he entered the room. Roy looked up in surprise.

"Morning partner. Are you that glad to see me?" he asked in a teasing tone. Johnny opened the door to his locker.

"Well, I am glad to have you back," Johnny admitted. "Let's try to keep from getting hurt this time."

"Sounds like a plan to me!" Roy chuckled.

Johnny grinned and hurried to change clothes. Chet and Marco showed up a few minutes later and were surprised to find a bright and chipper Gage in their midst.

Later in the morning when they had a chance to talk privately on the way to Rampart for supplies, Roy glanced over at his friend.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on?" he finally asked.

"I don't know if I want to say anything or not. Don't want to jinx it."

"Jinx what? Come on, Junior. What are you up to?"

Johnny grinned. "Okay. I've been on a date. Well, actually two dates...three if you count helping out with a broken down car."

"Really? That's great. Who is she?" the older paramedic asked as they pulled into the drive leading to the ER.

"Her name is Jessica. Her car broke down and I came to her rescue."

"She must be something to put you in this good of a mood."

"It's not just that Roy. It's the first time I've been able to put last year behind me and look to the future. She's a really nice girl. And she was really sweet and understanding when I told her about Shannon and Raven."

"You told her about last year?" Roy sounded surprised.

Johnny hesitated. "Well, not everything. Mostly just about Shannon and the baby."

"So, are you seeing her again?"

"Yeah, we have a date for tomorrow night. I want you and Jo to meet her. You want to double date?"

Roy raised a skeptical eyebrow at his partner and parked the squad.

"Double date? Sure. Why not? I'll call JoAnne when we get back to the station. That should give her enough time to get a babysitter. What are we going to do?"

"Oh, I thought maybe a movie and dinner. Nothing fancy."

"Sounds good. Come on, let's get our supplies so I can get back and call Jo."

Johnny grinned happily at his partner and they headed into the ER.

# # # # # # #

To be continued in Part 3.