around the world in a night

I look down at the leopard print slip of a top barely covering my breasts, and the tight black vinyl skirt riding up my ass, and fight the urge to close the pink faux bunny fur jacket around myself. Except it's your coat, and I won't be able to button it even if I wanted to. Or if you'd let me. We're approaching the front desk at The Alex, and I can feel the manager's eyes on my skin, stripping me bare. Hiding behind your pristine black tailored suit, the one I bought you to celebrate your five-year anniversary with the firm, I ask in a soft squeak, "What if they kick me out?"

"Don't worry." You lean back a little and whisper, "I'll just tell them you're with me." I can't see your face, but I know you're wearing that insufferable smirk on your lips. The one that makes your adversaries cringe, that makes me weak for an entirely different reason. For many different reasons.

"What if they decided to get us busted?" I try again to dissuade both you and me. Don't know if it's the apprehension or the excitement or a combination of the two, but I can barely recognize my own voice.

I can't help but smile. You have an answer for everything, don't you? Too soon, you leave me by the waiting area, and continue towards the counter. After all these years, I still find myself staring when you move away. At the confident edge of your shoulders. The stride of your walk. The sway of your hips.

"Jaime O'Brien." I hear you tell the man as you casually remove your credit card from your trousers pocket. The gold of your cuff links hits me momentarily, and I feel a flush of warmth between my legs. After all these years, you still bring out new feelings in me.

"Yes, Ms. O'Brien," the man types into his computer, "We have your reservation all ready." I can hear his response. The lobby is quiet. Perhaps all the business people are still stuck in meetings. Now he's looking at you. You must have given him one of your sweet, disarming smiles. Or maybe from somewhere in the system, he sees that Szeto and O'Brien has a standing reservation for one of their poshest executive suites, that your law firm regularly uses their conference rooms. Either way, he's forgotten all about me. Thank god.

Waitaminute. I booked us a room on the twentieth floor. My mind races, then my heart catches up. You downgraded my reservation to a regular room! You want whoever passing by our door to hear us. Or more accurately, me. You want everyone to know how you make me scream...

Then we're going to spend the rest of the weekend, or just the last few hours, dependent upon your whimsy, in your company suite.

Maybe you're still fixated with the idea of being my whore. But why? When you got so mad at me the other day for even implying it? And you got mad at me before for thinking I treated you like one...

Maybe I should quit trying so hard to understand you, and just love you. After all, that's what I used to tell men who tried too hard to figure me out. Sometimes I forget.

"Thank you." I hear you tell him in your proper voice. Then you turn around. I was hoping you'd come collect me, instead you tip your chin towards the elevator. I sigh to myself, partly out of resignation, mostly from anticipation. You're really enjoying this wealthy john and cheap trick scenario, aren't you?

I hope you've told the man we're just playing a little game. That's it's our anniversary or your birthday or something. That I'm the love of your life. I hope he's not calling Vice as I'm following you obediently, and entering the opened elevator door voicelessly, ready for you to take me around, and show me, the world.

So we�re going to the third floor, and you�re actually holding the elevator door for me to get in. You do realize that�s a little too considerate for a regular john? Although I�m not sure you have it in you to be a regular john... At least my perception of a john�

Oh, right. You�re the one with the Vice experience. Why didn�t I think of that before, when I started arguing with you about the unlikelihood of anyone willingly wanting to be anyone�s whore? Maybe some of the prostitutes you ran into back in the day actually told you their life stories�

How come I seem to stop thinking when you�re around? When we�re alone and you�re in an argumentative mood� Why is it that when you�re wanting to jump down my throat about something, all I want is to jump you?

If I didn�t know better, I swear sometimes you do it on purpose. To get me in trouble. But why? I would have done everything you want, and given you everything you want anyway. Or does this thrill you somehow?

Or do I get myself in trouble on purpose? Maybe subconsciously? Maybe I have some unidentified, unresolved guilt issues? Maybe there really was something arrested from the years of Catholic school? That I get off on punishment? Ugh. I swear, sometimes I think you give me complexes I don�t know I have.

Or maybe I just think too much. Or that I�m thinking too much because I know if I stopped, I�d find myself pushing you up against the nearest vertical surface and sliding my hands under your clothes and my tongue down your throat� Yeah, that�s gotta be it.

Finally, the elevator stops. Once again, you�re holding the door for me. I wonder if I should say �thank you� or something. But I don�t trust my voice. Instead, I just give you the most charming smile I can muster, and step out.

Oh Christ. You haven�t just down-graded our room. From the looks of it, you�ve picked one across from the damn gym. Damn 24 hour gym. Obviously, you really want to scandalize the entire hotel. Guess it�s my job to make sure you get your wish. Your pleasure�s always my pleasure.

Suddenly, you�re clearing your throat. Oh, I didn�t realize I�ve stopped moving. Now you�re directing me with your eyes. Do you not trust your voice either?

I wonder if this little game affects you as much as it does me. I love our babies, and I know we have them mostly because I wanted them, but sometimes I miss us. I miss having you all to myself. This is going to be such a wonderful weekend! I can feel it in my bones. I can definitely feel it between my legs.

Oh, good, here we are. Hurry up and open the door already. Sheesh! Or are you stalling on purpose? Right, I can�t see you accidentally using the wrong key-card. What are you trying to do to me?

Finally. I thought I�d have to break out of character and open the damn door myself. Wait. Was it a test? Did I pass? Or am I thinking too much again? Probably.

�Here we are.� You turn to me after flipping the dead bolt, your voice deeper and thicker than normal. �Make yourself at home. You can watch TV if you want. We�ll start when I come back.�

I look at you uncertainly, trying to read through the storm brewing in your eyes. Don�t you want to see my bag of tricks? You made sure I packed up all the toys you could possibly want. Have you changed your mind? Or are they for later? Or did you go to Babes in Toyland without me? I see the impatient press of your lips and tell you, �Okay.�

You start to walk around me. Then you stop next to me, and push your glasses up. I can feel your arousal while you appraise me. I love knowing what I do to you. Suddenly, I want to keep this moment a little longer. So I swallow, and make a noise.

You laugh. Are you laughing at the confusion on my face? You shrug, and toss the garment bag over the arms of the overstuffed chair. With a slight smile, you challenge, �So?�

You shrug again, putting up your cool front. �You don�t look too used. Listen, we�re not here to play twenty questions.�

�I already do, Slut.� You say, and keep moving towards the bathroom. Before you close the door, you tell me, �Go ahead, why don�t you turn the TV on or something.�

Just what are you trying to do to me? Jimmy? You have Jimmy with you? So this is not a throw-away-the-toy-at-the-end-of-the-weekend issue sex. Nor even cathartic sex. What am I missing? How come my deductive skills go MIA and I can�t think straight around you?

Oh well. Let�s see what�s on the tube then. As I pick up the remote for the flat panel screen, I�m remembering our little disagreement about having a TV in the bedroom. Feng Shui Schmeng Shui. I sure got you back for not letting me have a TV in the bedroom though. I don�t think I�ll ever forget the look on your face when I said, �Just imagine, we can videotape and watch ourselves.� Ha!

Turning off the damn thing, I lean back against the bed and stare up at the ceiling. Maybe I shouldn�t be lying down but you did tell me to make myself comfortable. Who are we kidding though? We both know I�m so uncomfortable it�s not even funny. Especially when I know you�re transforming yourself in the next room�

Why am I still so nervous? I�ve seen you come out of the bathroom, the closet, the bedroom, wherever, looking like I know how you�re going to look� Although this is the first time since we got pregnant with Livvie that you�ve wanted to be boy� And I haven�t seen Jimmy in the suit I picked. Is your jacket going to be off when you walk out? I hope you leave it on. I�ll have to remember to tell you how much the new cuff links suit you. I love it when you let me dress and accessorize you.

Huh? What? �Oh! Sorry!� I jerk my hand away, and try to smooth the vinyl back over my hips. �Just getting myself ready for you.� That�s not exactly a lie. The smirk tugging at your lips tells me you knew I wasn�t even aware of what I was doing before. Things you do to me. That you make me do.

You sit down by the foot of the bed, and push your jacket open before putting your hands in your pockets. You�re making sure I follow the movements. Making sure I notice Jimmy poking out of your pants. �I see. Carry on then,� you tell me casually.

I don�t know how you can be so damn cruel sometimes. But I know you know how much I love it when you are. And how much I love you when you�re not.

�Whatever you say, Jimmy.� I wiggle until the skirt�s around my waist, until I�m free to spread my legs and bend my knees. Then I smile into your eyes and lick my fingers slowly� If my Baby wants a show, a damn good show she shall get.

I was waiting, and wondering when you were going to say that. I still don�t know how you know me, how you know my body so well. I sigh loudly. In relief or exasperation? That�s for me to know and you to munch on. I give you my most seductive smile, and wipe my hands crudely on my thighs, and watch the faint blush creep across your face.

I know how much you want to close your eyes, how much you want to be flat on your back for me to fuck senseless. But we�re playing a little game, a little game you perceive I want because somewhere in the back of your head you still wonder if I miss being with men. Maybe one of these days I�ll tell you how mistaken you are. That I just love the trust and control dynamic between us when we play, the excitement of the dance, so to speak�

Finally, I take pity on your speechlessness, �Oh well. I was beginning to feel lonely anyway. Why don�t you join me up here?�

It�s fun to watch you vacillate between the need to protest, and the want to submit. �I did promise you full service.� I help you out again, and scoot over to the side, so you can have the center of the bed. So you can sit in the same spot where my bare ass just sat, and feel my heat. I can almost hear you complain how un-nice I am. Oh, Sweetheart, I promise you, I�ll be really nasty and I�ll be really, really nice.

�Come on Sweetie, are you going soft on me?� I try to remember all the dime-a-dozen hookers I�ve ever interviewed and imagine the kind of things they would say to their johns. �Do you need a spanking from Mama?� Yuck.

If we weren�t playing a game, I think you�d be sticking out your tongue or throwing a pillow at me. Instead, you just give me a harsh look with narrowed eyes.

So I shrug and tell you, �Well, then Honey, I ain�t got all day. What can I do to harden your fuck rod? It is what you�re paying for right? Or do you just wanna watch me play with my own pussy?� Oh, boy.

Sometimes I think despite everyone�s belief to the contrary, I�m actually a bigger prude than you. In fact, I know it for sure. Oh well, as long as I can talk the talk then all�s swell! �Come on Jimmy, what will it be?�

�Okay�� I half scramble half slither off the bed, making sure the skirt stay bunched up porno-style around my hips. Then I turn away from you, teetering on the new black patent leather come-fuck-me-stiletto heels I found by my side of the bed this morning.

�Liking what you see, Jimmy?� I ask the wall. I don�t have to see your face to know you�re staring. I can feel your eyes on me when I smooth the vinyl slowly back down over my ass. I love knowing what I do to you. Love how my body affects you.

�All right already.� I swivel around fast enough to just lose my balance, to have to steady myself against the bed. I notice you almost got up to help, and how hard you�re fighting to remain silent, to ask me if I�m okay.

�Oops.� I stuff my exposed boob back into the wrap-top, and walk towards you. �Didn�t mean to flash ya,� I add insincerely, to assure you.

The expression flitting across your features tells me I�ll be paying later for setting you up and worrying you. At least I hope that�s the case.

Sorry Baby, I�m trying so hard not to laugh, but sometimes it�s just comical. Or maybe it�s nerve-racking. I�m not sure which is which. So, as I�m trying to squeeze into the smallish space between your knees, and pushing your legs apart in the process, I babble, �Oh, you wanna start off with a BJ, huh? Lemme tell ya, Honey, you�re in luck. I�ve been told I give the best head. You�ll be coming back for more, I guarantee ya.�

For a brief instant, your pupils contract. Then they�re back to normal. �Really,� you respond, seemingly unperturbed.

Shit. There�s that disturbance in the force again, and not the good kind. I can feel it. Why don�t I ever think before I open my big mouth? I guess today will be the day I make sure you know that I�m truly, simply an �Alexual,� like I sometimes tell Ling to muck with her. Once and for all� I hope I succeed.

So I pretend I didn�t see or feel your doubts. I don�t know if you know I�m just bluffing my way through. Although I suspect you do. Doesn�t really matter. I smirk at you.

My smirk says, �Why don�t you see for yourself?� While I remain silent. Silently completely unzipping your trousers. Slowly bending over, tucking my hair behind my ears for you so you could watch. Watch me close my mouth around the tip of the toy and press down. All the way down. Tasting you along the entire length. As I expected I would.

Normally, I�d hold your gaze, and watch you close your eyes from the friction you�d feel when I squeeze my lips and push and pull at the silicone flesh.

This time I don�t. This time I�m the one with the closed eyes. This time I just go down on Jimmy steadily. So you can watch. Watch the dreamy look that I always have. Hear the silent sigh of contentment that�s sometimes not so silent when I close my mouth around you, when I push my tongue into you, and taste your arousal.

All the while, I try to think of what to say. How to fix the situation. How to make you believe. While still staying in character�

Holding the toy in my hand, and rather than going back down, I look up at you in mocked surprise. �Oh. My. I take it back, I�M the one in luck,� I almost exclaim, and smack my lips in appreciation.

I can tell you�re wondering what I�m talking about. At least now I have your attention, not just your libido�s or your uncertainty�s. So I smack my lips again, almost lasciviously this time, and continue, �I dig girl chowder more than man juice. Any day. Every day.�

Hastily, before your rational brain takes over, as I know it would, I add, �You know, Sugar? Yours is by far the yummiest.�

You�ve never asked for a comparison, so I�ve never really offered one. Now, judging by the raised brow and the tension in your jaw, I realize I should have. �Don�t believe me? I swear on my mother�s grave, and my mother�s mother�s.�

�Both.� I reply and give you my best Cheshire Cat grin. The one that says you caught me red handed and I know I�m in trouble somehow someway, but I�m perfectly sincere in my confession, contrition, apology,� etc.

You keep your eye lids lowered for a split second longer than usual. Then the right corner of your lips quivers in response to your effort to fight a smile.

Ah! Success! It�s amazing how much I notice when I pay attention. It�s even more amazing what a little extra honesty can do. Note to Benson.

�Why are you so quiet?� I reach to pull down your pants. You don�t resist. Then, I slip my fingers inside you. And touch you the way you love to be touched. That makes you super wet and needing more.

Withdrawing much to soon for your wanting, I intentionally misinterpret the single deep jagged breath you exhale, �Oh, I see. Would you rather me treat you like the fine fella you make? No problemo, Honey. Why didn�t you say so from the get go?�

Not waiting for an answer, but making sure you�re following, I brush the tip of my index finger along the top of the toy, and repeat the motion with my tongue. Then, I wrap my still slick hand around the silicone shaft and talk to it like it�s a microphone, one that�s wired to your clit, �Yummy Jimmy juice. Mm-mm.�

You don�t protest when I pull your hips further off the mattress. You let me press my fingers deep inside you again. Let me trace my name along your vaginal walls. Do you remember the first time I did that? That first Christmas we spent together, just you and me? I�ll have to remember to ask you after this.

Your knuckles are white from gripping the bedding. Yet you keep your mask of calm, as I smear more of you on the silicone. Your eyes never leave mine, as I smile to the sweet, heady taste of you pushing against the back of my throat. I wonder what�s going through your head right now.

Ah. So that�s what. I release the toy from my mouth, whirling my tongue around it in the process, determined to lap up every trace of you in the next few seconds.

All the while, I�m trying to figure out how you want me to touch myself. I know you want me right on the edge the whole time, slowly going out of my mind from needing and wanting you. Waiting and begging for you to let me come.

You weren�t expecting that, weren�t you? So I give you a hint of a wink, and tear the top off. By the way your eyes widen and flutter shut, I can tell you aren�t expecting my fingers inside you again either.

Before I withdraw once more, and wipe your wetness on the tip of the toy. Then hold the shaft in my hand, and yank it roughly towards me, so you can feel the jolt in your clit. So I can circle my nipples with the shiny head, first the left, then the right. So when you kiss them later, you�ll taste yourself.

Just to make sure, I tuck the silicone between my beasts and wipe the rest of you on me. �Oooh, Jimmy� Jimmy�� I croon for you, my chest heaving, my back arching. Feeling fuzzy-headed from your scent.

I draw in a shaky breath, and thank you with my eyes. Guess the Great Benson needs help too now and then. A little extra special X-rated help right now would be even better. Oh, who am I kidding? A lot of extra special X-rated help!

Are you going to put that thing in me yet? I�m sure a real hooker might ask, and I�m just about to when you shrug off your jacket, and begin undoing your shirt.

�Let me,� I offer eagerly, and without waiting for permission I bury my face against your top button, and try to loosen it with my teeth. And cop a feel in the process.

Just how long does it take to take off a shirt? Four little pieces of abalone shell. Jesus. Must you torture me like this?

Hey, where are you going? Oh. God forbids your jacket develops a wrinkle the dry cleaner can�t take out. Lemme tell ya, it hasn�t happened yet. Fine, fine, go hang up the damn suit. I�m sure you�re enjoying this� this� Argh! This ought to qualify as spousal abuse in some court of law!

Finally! �C�mere big boy.� I don�t even try to hide the lust in my voice as I reach for your silicone dick, and spread my legs. �Come to Mama.� Why you chose that particular model is still completely beyond me. And I still think we should just get you a new car, a faster or snazzier car or something, rather than overhauling your Focus once every few years. I guess it falls under �love more understand less�. Besides, Jimmy feels damn good. And why am I thinking about stupid cars?

The giggle then dissolves into a whimper when I feel the dome of the toy against me. Feel it pushing, feel you keeping me open and entering and sliding deeper� deeper� in�

Try as I may to avoid seeming too eager or too bossy, my hips heave and press up to meet yours. Until cold metal and soft leather greet my skin.

Oh god, Alex� Alex� starts running through my mind as �Oh god, Jimmy� Yes, Jimmy, ohh� ohh�� slip easily from my mouth. As I start rocking against you.

�Jimmy!� I open my eyes wide, and let out a high-pitched whine, when you bear down on me and hold yourself motionless.

Then I see your lips moving closer and closer to mine. Oh, how I want to taste your mouth, to melt into your wet embrace. Will it be soft and tender and slow? Or will it be all tongue and teeth and demanding? I can�t wait to find out�

I follow you with my eyes in shocked silence. How? When did you�? Before I can finish, coins begin raining from the pouch you took out, making jingling noises on the wooden surface. So what else do you have in YOUR bag of tricks?

�Sure, whatever you say,� I tell you, and grab the back of your head, and wrap my legs around your thighs. And sigh happily when your possessive hands close over my breasts, catching my nipples between your fingers. And your urgent tongue claims my mouth, taking everything I so willingly and freely give.

�Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy� Oh� Oh� Yes� Fuck me� Fuck me�� I chant, as you stroke slowly in and out, and rock against me. All the while, I�m remembering our second honeymoon, when we stayed at Bobby�s villa, when we were surrounded by walls of mirror, and I could see your firm ass muscles straining, pulsing. See your milky skin framed perfectly by the black leather harness, as you thrust rhythmically, filling me, taking me� �Oh, god, fuck me Alex, Jimmy� Oh god, fuck me��

Vaguely I realize I slipped, that I always inadvertently slip and call you Alex at one point or another when we play. Just like you always do and call me Liv. And I notice I always correct you, while you never say a word about my slip ups. And that�s significant somehow�

�Oh! Alex!� I exclaim my surprise as you thrust in sharply. That same instant, you snake your hand around my hip, and you cup and hold me in your palm as you deepen the pace. �Oh god�� Do you always know when my mind wander?

�Oh god� god�� I can only sigh when you press the tip of your finger against me, pushing gently, vibrating lightly. Stopping when you feel my legs tense.

Before I can complain, before I can catch my breath, I feel your pelvis grind and rotate against my ass. Feel your hands, your thighs slapping against my flesh. �Oh, fuck me, Jimmy, Alex, fuck me�� I renew my encouragement. �Please� please��

I visualize you, a sheen of concentration coating your beautiful face. Focusing on me, on my body�s reaction. Waiting for me to reach another plane of arousal, of abandonment. �Oh, god, Jimmy, you�re so� hard� you�re so� big� you feel so good� so good�� Waiting for your next move.

Without warning, you pull out. And I whimper at the emptiness. Then I feel your hands on me, spreading my cheeks. I feel the instant your hot breath against me. Feel my body dilates to your nearness.

I respond nevertheless, �Oh god, Alex� Alex� Oh, god�� as your tongue covers and probes and rages a path across my perineum� All my nerve endings homing in. The ache that�s growing between my legs reaches my heart and hangs on the warmth of your mouth, the seething pressure of your touch.

To the sudden loss of contact, I scream. God, I was so close, this close� I can feel the sting of frustration behind my eyes, as I collapse face first into the pillow.

Now your hands, your body are gliding up my back, your caress a little teasing, maybe even soothing� definitely owning.

The soft breath of chuckle touches my skin. Before I can react, your voice reaches in, �I�m right here, Liv. You have me.�

I inhale sharply, missing your warmth, your weight instantly. I�m about to turn around and pull you to me, when I hear the drawer sliding open. I twist my head towards the noise, and stare.

As soon as the question leaves my mouth, I remember the night of our commitment party� one, two, three� five years ago, when you had me handcuffed to your childhood bed� I asked you the same question then.

Back then, you gave me the same smile, with the same brightness in your eyes, that are gracing your features now. Two children, so much happiness yet so many heartbreaks later� If it�s at all possible to fall in love anew when you�re already deep in love, I think I�m doing that right now.

If we weren�t already married, I�d ask you to marry me again. Hm� Maybe I will anyway� �Oh!� I let out a nervous giggle as the cold wet latex against me jars me back to the present.

Your hands are on my hips, steadying yourself, guiding me. The burning intensity, the fierce pleasure as I slowly impale myself on the toy, on you�

I should protest, like I did earlier. A whore would protest, I�m pretty sure. But like you said, we had a deal. We have an understanding, an agreement that go far beyond this room, this scenario� Are you thinking about our conversation way back when, when I told you how much I wanted you to fill me like this? The only gift I have left on the shelf, so to speak, for you?

Are you thinking about the days before our wedding when we abstained, the cleansing hours I spent with your Aunt Aileen? Yes, I told you it was just to make peace with my grandmother; and you insisted you didn�t want me to go through the ritual for your sake. Neither one of us were telling the complete truth, I�m very sure�

Without warning, you grab my hips and thrust forward, pushing in the rest of the way. Involuntary, I shiver, and rock with you, �Oh god� Alex, Jimmy� Jimmy��

The smell of sweet strawberries and sex permeates the room. I feel the damp heat, the intense energy buzzing around us. Somewhere in there are screams and grunts and moans, mostly, probably, mine. At this point, I�m beyond care.

�Alex!� A whine slash scream rips from my chest as you pull out again. God. Please Alex, Baby, please please please? If I were capable of speech, I�d beg out loud. Maybe I did anyway. I hear foil tearing, and smell the scent of strawberries. I can almost feel the slick wet rubber unrolling on silicone, and I hold my breath.

And I wait for the slurp of used rubber landing on the pillow next to my head, adding to the growing pile, and for the deeper scent of sex to fill my lungs.

�Alex, Jimmy, please, please, touch me� please?� I appeal to you breathlessly, my eyes closed, my body aching, my heart my blood my existence focused on the space between my legs. Where you tease my open heated flesh�

No kidding! Would you please, please, please just fuck me? Fuck me and let me come? I promise next time I�ll think harder before frustrating you like this. I groan my desperation and thrash against you. Oh, god, oh yes. Your hands are on my ass, controlling my movements, but you�re coming in� Oh god, oh yes, please don�t stop.

�Do you know how hot it is,� you speak slowly, your voice hoarse with concentration, as you slide deeper, deeper in, �To watch you like this? So open? So honest with your needs?�

�Oh god,� I say as you withdraw, and as you push in again. �Yes, Alex! Alex� Alex�� I chant as you move in deeper, closer. I know you�ve retreated from the role-playing. It�s just you and me in this storm of passion and seduction�

Suddenly, I see us back in Bobby�s room with the mirrors. I see you, your eyes deep with intensity, your body flushed with excitement and efforts as you watch Jimmy disappearing slowly inside me. I see the look of raw hunger on your face, when you watched my body reacting to yours, to your thrusting. You, mesmerized by the swinging movements of my breasts. The tempestuous layers of blues when your gaze locked onto mine�

And I feel the wave of pleasure wash over me, the rush of blood through my veins. And I hear myself cry out, then, and now, with my eyes squeezed shut.

And before I can catch my breath, smoothly, cruelly you pull out. �Alex!� I scream again, my body beating, sobbing around the harsh emptiness. Please, please, Baby, come back, come back...

I feel your hands on me, your lips on me, your soothing voice caressing and calming, �Shh� Liv, I�ve got you� Turn over� I�ve got you.�

Your lips on my lips, your breasts on my breasts, your thigh between my legs, your hands on my body, your fingers inside me, surrounding me�

�Love you,� I hear your breathless gasp as you push against me, as I arch into you, reaching out, abandoning, feeling, making contact, sparks flying, exploding�

I�m still light-headed, still trying to regain my equilibrium when you take me in your arms and shower kisses on my face, on my lips.

I raise up just enough to help you. Sinking back down when the toy hits the night-stand with a satisfying thud. �Don�t suppose you wanna make a working girl�s Cinderella dream come true, do you?� I ask, tracing hearts and alphas and omegas across your chest. �I�ll keep you really warm at night, in the morning, the middle of the day, anytime you want.�

I feel your warm breath on me, feel the tip of your tongue slip gently into my mouth, tasting fiery cinnamon and sweet. I open to receive your kiss and share the Atomic Fireball you�re sucking on. Makes most people blanch when they see us share food like that. I think it�s sexy as hell, that there�s no boundary between us, that we share everything.

�What?� I ask even though you and I both know whatever it is you want, you�ll get. All you need to do is crook your little finger.

Instead of answering, you reach for my hands, and hold them above my head. Then you kiss me again, your lips your tongue slow, searching, claiming. Pulling back, drawing me into your mouth.

God. I love the way you kiss. Love the way you open yourself, and let me roam and search in your warmth. Love the low noises of need, of contentment I create in your body�

Hey, but that�s my allowance for next week, I want to remind you; but I don�t. Instead I ask you teasingly, �Since when do you start charging for kisses?�

Only a fool would argue with that. Besides, I know you�ll find a way to spend it back on me somehow, if it�s not to be applied to some purchase you�ve already made. Meanwhile, I�ll look forward to a week of lunch and or dinner prepared by you. I�ll look forward to the sweet little surprises you will put in the brown paper bags. You know I always look forward to them.

Not as much as this though, I grin, and try to pull you down with me. Once again, you move just out of my reach. Okay� Now what?

Uh-huh! Hell, yeah! I look back at you eagerly, and watch you pull your faux fur jacket from the chair and cover your nakedness. Then I realize you already have your pants and shoes on. How long have you been up?

You gather your hair and pull them out from under the collar, and slowly shrug your shoulders to adjust your buttoned coat. I know your nipples are erect from the friction. I can feel them glide against my palms. I want you right now. Why do we have to go upstairs?

Want and frustration must be written all over my face. You smile, and close your eyes, and blow me a slow kiss. �Your clothes are laid out in the bathroom.� You tell me, your voice low and sultry. �I�ll see you upstairs. Don�t make me wait too long. Or I�ll start without you.�

A knowing smile spread my lips. I can�t help it. That means I should take my time, to let you ease into your mood, to let you start without me�

�Oh,� you look down to cover your blush, and pretend to search your pockets. �Here�s your room key.� You toss it onto the nightstand, and turn to leave.

�Hey.� I call you back, and meet your eyes and smile. You smile back, knowing I just told you I love you, much much more than words can say.

We�re home; the house is uncharacteristically dark, and I�m suddenly ill at ease. �Did you say your mother�s spending the weekend in town?� I ask you as I re-arm the security system.

�I�m sure they are.� You shrug and hang up our coats. �Why don�t you see if they left a note or something.�

Swallowing the feeling of foreboding, I scale the stairs two at a time to the top floor. As I flip on the study light, I hear, �SURPRISE!�

Huh? For what? I just stand there like an idiot until you come up behind me and whisper, �Happy one-year anniversary, Lieut. Benson.�

Whoa! Has it already been a year since the captain retired and I took over the squad? I look around and see all our friends congregating in your little study, waiting for me to come out of shock. Everyone, including Elliot and his family, Fin, Munch, even Cragen. Wait, Det. Antognoli?

Damn! I can�t believe you, Alex, you set me up! You keep me so busy getting in trouble, trying to suck up, and digging myself out of countless holes just so I�d forget. Argh! You! You!

Finally, the guests are gone and we�re alone again, and I hold you in my arms, my lips trailing kisses along your neck, my fingers toying with your buttons.

Can�t they wait? But I know you don�t want to. �More surprises? Lace underwear by any chance?� That earn me a swat on the shoulder.

�These are better, at least I hope they�re better.� You smile and take my hand, and lead me to the next room, our bedroom.

�A painting! Thank you!� I see a new Paul Klee reproduction on the wall. �I love it.� I really do. I still remember the first trip we took to France, when I asked you to spend the rest of your life with me, and the day I kissed you in front of the painting, at the Louvre.

The blush coloring your skin shows me what to anticipate. Somewhere along the line of angel pink negligee? A girl can surely hope! �Oh?�

The image comes on, and I see myself sitting on the bed in Room 305 of The Alex with a TV remote in my hand. Then I hear my own voice saying, �Right. Who can watch TV at a time like this?�

Your nod barely perceptible, your voice small, yet your bright shining eyes speak volume when you tell me, �And a camera to make more, if you want.�

I don�t know if I want or not. My mind needs time to wrap around that possibility. I can�t believe you actually� Wow. That�s so� Wow.

I�m not sure what to say. I�m not sure there�s anything I could say, if I could find words to adequately express what I feel.