Who is this guy?

I'm Tom Tuerff, and when I'm not busy saving the world from bad advertising, I inflict my bizarre idea of what constitutes musical entertainment on unsuspecting, coffee-drinking audiences in the Phoenix area.

While I usually play music by myself, I also occasionally share the stage with others. It helps if they're thinner than I am.

I have also forced people to listen to my ramblings in places as far away as Prescott, Tucson, and New Orleans. Those poor people...

When did the madness begin?

I was born under the smoky haze of the steel mills in Gary, Indiana in 1957 (No, I didn't know the Jackson Five, although it's certainly possible that Michael and I might have passed each other as toddlers, while sitting in separate grocery carts), and I've been a little hazy ever since. I started playing music when I was 15 and got a Sears guitar for Christmas. I don't have the guitar anymore; it's one of the few I've ever parted with (much to the chagrin of my wife).

Critics agree...

• "Great Stuff!" -- Dr. Demento
• "Tom Tuerff is the Cheshire Cat of the folkies, leaving you with a disturbing grin." -- Michael Packer, WYCE Radio, Grand Rapids
• "Totally Certifiable" -- Steve Bodinet, Channel 3
• "Weird!" -- Joe Bethancourt
• "What a kick!" -- Laurence Juber, former guitarist for Paul McCartney and Wings
• "Pretty!" -- A really stoned teen-age girl

What are your songs about?

My songs are about two minutes long. No, seriously, my songs are about things that other people don't bother to write about. You know, important things like baby boomers, body piercing, paper or plastic, the Catholic guilt complex, and bad ways to meet people. Important stuff.

There are already billions of love songs. Rest assured, you won't find any of them in my act, or on my CD, "Something To Sell At My Gigs!"

What do you play?

I play a variety of right-handed guitars, left-handed. In other words, upside down. I also play the mandolin this way. Other instruments I can play without being too embarrassed are the harmonica and my VERY SCARY JAPANESE AUTOHARP.

My sister-in-law got me a ukulele recently and I'm actually learning to play it properly, rather than upside down. If I ever get it right, I'll put it in the act.

I also have some percussion instruments that go thumpa thumpa, shikky shikky, ship-ship- ship-ship, and cccccc...