My interest in transformation
started with a drawing of Actaeon being turned into a stag by Artemis
in a children's version of Bullfinch's Mythology. As
I got older, Andre Norton and Ray Bradbury introduced me to stories
where a space explorer trapped got in the body of an alien dog,
or a grownup shrank down to kindergarten age. Television offered
Bewitched and I Dream of Genie, where somebody got magically zapped
nearly every week.
"Or would you
rather be a..."
As the old song details,
there are drawbacks to being pretty much any kind of critter. Wild
beasts have to fight to survive, domesticated animals usually end
up on a dinner plate, and even pets have their lives pretty much
controlled by human owners. Becoming a child again has its high
points - but then you might have to deal with school, bullies, and
potty training all over again.
Still, if the opportunity
for a real transformation came up, I'd probably go for it. Why?
People risk death to climb Everest, a mountain that's been bested
before. Extreme sports kill and maim hundreds every year. So isn't
it worth the risk of losing speech, hands, and/or intelligence for
the opportunity to experience life as another creature?
Horsing Around or
Seeing Red
.OK - the local mad
scientist has just come to the door with his Instant Transmogrification
Gun. What do I tell him to set it for? Something equine would be
my first choice. Preferably some sort of draft horse, like a Shire
or Clydesdale. Young and healthy, of course, with rolling fields
to run in and lots of lovely mares. However, anything from a Shetland
Pony to a Unicorn would be fine.
Why a horse? Despite
extremely limited exposure to equines of any kind, I have always
felt comfortable around them. And something about a horse just seems
right. I can't explain it. Of course, I can always use logic to
support my selection as well. (A logical fantasy?) Horses
are rarely used for food in this country. They have relatively long
lives, and a much better chance for decent treatment than the average
cat or dog. Better yet, they don't have to kill anything but grass
to survive. On
the negative side, they get worms, battle flies, and suffer from
their own catalog of diseases. Even worse, a horse can't read, or
work on old cars.
The other choice is
even more obscure - a kid. Not a younger version of myself, however,
or even an improved model. Try a homely, scrawny, bucktoothed, red-haired
ten or twelve year-old boy with a low forehead, freckles, and a
pug nose (Don't worry - it makes no sense to me, either). Yet I
know that dull-eyed boy like a memory of my own face. Maybe
I was that kid in a past life. Or perhaps I pulled a plow for him
as a draft horse.
Not that I am limiting
myself to equine hooves or childhood. Those are just the forms that
seem familiar. If the Transmogrifier only created Lions, or Great
Danes, or Mountain Goats, I'd still be a willing subject. Like I
said - the experience is worth mostly any risk.