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They Met Online
To say that I was at a low point in my life would, I dare say, be an understatement. No one could understand what I was going through. I rose each day to face what seemed to be and impossible task: to get through the day. Many people could not see my despair. As I struggled through my daily routine, I even heard comments that I looked well. How easy it was for me to play that game. Perhaps that was why I was drawn to the computer, my faithful non-judgmental friend.
The world of the internet; faceless, nameless, safe. Here I could talk about my troubles and people actually listened. Night after night, in the quiet of my house, I spent hour after hour sharing my life with people I didn't know. These people who told me the things that nobody in my "real life" seemed to know. By the end of the day, I found myself longing for the time that everybody in the house was asleep. Time when I was left alone with my burdens…and my computer.
In no time at all I had made a close friend. I shared my story. We shared our stories. It was amazing how much we had in common. We were different, but surely, difference is strength in a relationship. This must be true, for we are still friends. As I write this, we have known each other almost 2 years. But, I am getting ahead of myself.
As we talked, we learned so much about each other. Perhaps I shouldn't use the word "talk", but I am not sure what else to call the exchange of instant messages and e-mail. Talk seems to fit, so I will take a writer's license and use it anyway. We both loved God, our children, a good meal, laughing…the true simple things in life. And we found despite all life had thrown at us we both felt that God had been faithful to us, beyond any hope of our ever understanding it.
A funny thing happened. In this great world of the internet we were drawn to each other for a simple reason. It turned out we lived in the same town. A twist of fate, some would call it. In a metropolitan area of 600,000 and a little over ten miles between us, it took a couple of out-dated computers to bring us together. So I was invited to a meeting, to put a face and a name together.
Since my life was completely collapsing around me, there was no reason not to go. So, on the second Tuesday in June (the year was 2000 if you must know how old this writing is), I went. I found myself face to face with an instant friend. Turned out I wasn't as alone as I felt. There were people right here in my hometown who totally understood what I was going through.
The second Tuesday in June found me smack in the middle of a support group. If you had told me two months earlier that I would need a support group; I probably would have laughed in your face. Life, as I found, could be more unpredictable than I ever suspected. This support group is for parents whose children have died from cancer. Yes, it turns out children actually die from cancer. That is a tough sentence to swallow - even tougher to live. It's the kind of sentence you go through your life thinking, "it will never happen to me". I could give you the current facts that 1 out of 330 children will be diagnosed with some form of cancer before their 21st birthday, but mostly I pray that it never will happen to you. If it already has happened to you or somebody you know, then I pray that you will be gentle with yourself as you walk this road with me.
My story is so short it should make you catch your breath as you watch your children or grandchildren play. One day my five-year-old son was laughing and playing in the driveway with his sister (we have a picture to prove it). Three days later he was in so much pain the hospital finally had to use morphine to ease it. The CT scan of his head showed so many tumors there was no point in counting them. Eighteen days later he was dead. It was as fast and as simple as that.
A wise man I know once said, "cancer is one of the few things I know that sucks and blows at the same time". This wise man is somebody else I met on the internet. I'm probably not quoting him word for word, so I hope he forgives me. Turns out there are plenty of good friends to be made simply by turning on your computer.
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