The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race
realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going
to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute
with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting
dog in the world and which ever side's dog won would be entitled to
dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler
bitches in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian
wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each
litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used
steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest
meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that
were an inch thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a
strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry
for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could
possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped
itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost
completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the
Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund reached out and consumed the Russian dog
in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.
The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in
disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had
our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and
Rottweiler bitches in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian
wolves."
"That's nothing," an American replied. "We had our best plastic
surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a
Dachshund."
