The Compassionate Friends - Solano County
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SOLANO CHAPTER of Solano County, California
The mission of The Compassionate Friends is to assist families in the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child and to provide information to help others be supportive. We are a national nonprofit, self-help organization with almost 600 local chapters. The Solano County Chapter meets at 7:00 – 9:00 p.m. on the first Thursday of every month.
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Our next meeting is Thursday, September 4, 2008 , 7 - 9 pm
VacaValley Hospital Conference Room, 1000 Nut Tree Road, Vacaville
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Our meetings are open to all family members who are grieving the death of a child. There is no religious affiliation and no dues or fees. There are a free chapter lending library and a free monthly newsletter. We offer a safe place for bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings to meet and talk freely about your child and your grief issues. No one is required to speak, but non-judgmental listening is expected.
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If you would like the complete newsletter sent to you,please e-mail Mary Richardson at purplehaze@pacbell.net
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Excerpts from Our Newsletter
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NOTES FROM OUR CHAPTER
We still have TCF Forever in my Heart bracelets available for $2.00 each. They are available at the meetings, or call Diane (707)592-0383 to order.
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Welcome to New Friends
At nearly every meeting we welcome new members to our group, always with mixed emotions. We are glad they found us, but we are sorry for the circumstances that bring us together. We understand their pain and we hope our unconditional friendship and understanding will help them through their grief. Attending a meeting for the first two or three times takes courage, but for many, it is the first step toward healing. The meetings may seem overwhelming, so we encourage you to come to several meetings to give yourself a chance to become more comfortable.
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Annual BBQ/Potluck
We will have our annual BBQ on Saturday, September 6, 2008 12:00 noon to 4:00 p.m. at the Varoz residence
There will be swimming and other activities available. Please bring a side dish, appetizer or dessert. The main dish will be furnished, along with water. If you would like another beverage, please bring it with you. Also, bring a picture of your loved one to display (8 x 10 or smaller, please).
Please RSVP to Vesta, 434-8518, solanotcf@yahoo.com for address and other information.
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Credo
We need not walk alone.
We are the Compassionate Friends
We reach out to each other with love, with understanding and with hope. Our children have died at all ages and from many different causes, but our love for our children unites us. Your pain becomes my pain just as your hope becomes my hope. We come together from all walks of life, from many different circumstances. We are a unique family because we represent many races and creeds. We are young and we are old. Some of us are far along in our grief, but others still feel a grief so fresh and so intensely painful that we feel helpless and see no hope. Some of us have found our faith to be a source of strength; some of us are struggling to find answers. Some of us are angry, filled with guilt or in deep depression; others radiate an inner peace. But whatever pain we bring to the gathering of the Compassionate Friends, it is a pain we will share just as we share with each other our love for our children. We are all seeking and struggling to build a future for ourselves, but we are committed to building a future together as we reach out to each other in peace, share the faith as well as the doubts and help each other to grieve as well as to grow. WE NEED NOT WALK ALONE. WE ARE THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS.
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GARDENING
Hands grimed,
Nails torn,
Back bent,
And --
Momentarily - Grief spent.
~Margaret Lavin
TCF Oklahoma City, OK
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TO MY DAUGHTER
I looked at you and saw myself reflected back. I marveled at nature's capricious way - daughter repeating the mother's smile, laugh, moods, thought processes on so many planes. But as I looked, I never dreamed that our mirror could be shattered. How could I ever lose yoiu without losing myself as well? If you died, wouldn't I die also?
And the mirror was broken-images and light exploding in my mind and in my heart! Nothing and no one could ever make the pieces fit again. I lost you, I lose me, and I lost God. Time lost inside. No key remained. Pain pushed out like sound waves ever seeking out boundaries. The endless seasons of grief repeated their patterns. And then gradually, incredibly, I cried life back into my being. My suffering found a resting place somewhere within my soul. I found a new you. I found a new me and I am finding a new God.
~~Lana Kowalski, TCF, McMinnville, OR
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GOT BOOKS?????
Each year we buy books with new ideas and thoughts for the group to share. Be sure to look at these books at our monthly meetikngs.
Since we always have newly bereaved parents, we like to maintain a strong library for everyone's use. Would you look around your shelves, nightstands and car trunk for any of our missing books?
Thank you so much.
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TAKE YOUR TIME
One of the hardest things about grief is the so-called "time table." You are told you should be feeling one way or the other. You are given a time to mourn by the outside world, and then you must be "over it." "Get on with your life." "Count your blessings." All of this can make you both angry and afraid. Angry because (a) you don't WANT to "get over it." (b) you are "getting on" with your life in the best way you know how, and (c) your "blessings" have nothing whatsoever to do with the pain of your loss! Afraid because you are not having some of the feelings you think you should be having because you are not reacting "normally." There is a period of extreme shock that can lost from a few weeks to several months; you may not feel anything except numbness for awhile, That's OK!
The best advice is ... take your time. Be gentle with yourself. Do what you need to do, not what you think you should do. Don't clutter up your life with things that will exhaust you physically and weaken you emotionally. Remember, you are fighting the hardest battle you will ever have to face, so give yourself the best weapons you can. Rest; get in touch with your feelings, and talk. Say your child's name to anyone who will listen...take time,,,your time...to heal.
~~Sandra Young, TCF, Knoxville, Tennessee
TCF Online - General
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NO MACHO SPOKEN HERE
Cry on my shoulder and I'll cry on yours,
cry and cry,
let the hurt run out through your tears
scream out your pain
my tears run down your chest.
This child, our child,
has dies
a beautifuol child, created by us,
a pair
neither to play at being strongest
being weak together creates the
strongest link.
~~Toby Sue Shaw
TCF Stamford, CT
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The Compassionate Friends is a totally self-supporting organization. Our Chapter is run entirely by volunteers. The newsletter is printed and mailed, and meetings are paid for by your "Gifts from the Heart." These "LOVE GIFTS" are of money (any amount). All gifts/donations are tax deductible and are not required to attend meetings.
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~~Our Dear Children, Sadly Missed, Greatly Loved, Always Remembered~~
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