writerzbloc8

I haven't really been dating much lately. Around February of this year, I met someone for the first time that I thought could easily fall in love with. Truth be told, I guess I did. He was everything I was looking for in a guy: brutally handsome, funny, light-hearted, masculine, smart, confident, a little crazy ... and most importantly, the chemistry was just there. Our first date was incredible - we went to a winery and, by time we killed the first bottle, sparks were flying off the walls and hitting the waiters. We were perfect together. It was totally outta' hand.

A few beautiful months later, some harsh realities began to set in. Mr. Right was using drugs - fairly often - and was soon fired from his job for refusing to submit to a drug test. He also had an ex-boyfriend living out of town who began calling me, saying he was actually still his boyfriend and that I should leave him alone. Mr. Right convinced me that the guy was crazy, jealous, and an alcoholic and swore they hadn't been together for a year. Well, you can probably finish the story for me. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Mr. Right was a fraud. Unfortunately, this kind of thing isn't uncommon among gay men. A lot of guys out there just can't - or won't - get it together. They seem to enjoy the bullshit, the bar mentality, the seedy side of being gay. They seem to be lacking any real sense of morality or character and will do pretty much anything as long as they think they can get away with it.

I'm hardly a saint. I've had my share of wild times and wild guys, and I've done the club scene - locally, nationally, and globally - for six years. But, Jesus, I'm 27 years old. Time to grow up. I mean, we've all seen the guys in their 30s and 40s that are still hauling their sorry asses into the clubs every night, dancing to "Be My Lover" and drooling over kids young enough to be their sons. What kind of a life is that? It's not for me. But boycotting the club scene for six months (and counting) has left me with pretty slim chances of meeting eligible guys (not that the bars are a magnet for anyone with a life anyway), so I've been single. For a while. And, believe it or not, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

But the other thing is, the idea of "dating" again, and again, and again, makes me queasy. Obviously, I'm not saying I don't want to date anyone again, but I don't want to spend the next ten years dating either. Here it is: If you're looking for someone who's a real find, has a lot to offer emotionally, intellectually, physically, sexually - you name it, who is ready for a "forever," "til death do you part" kind of arrangement, I am your man. If you're still playing the field, good for you. Enjoy the site, read my poetry if you like that sort of thing, then move on. I am not looking to mess around for another six years. I do not want to be a part of the conventional "gay scene" anymore. I want to live in the real world, with all its splendor, and see the same face every morning when I wake up and when I fall asleep every night. I want to buy a house, have Christmases at home with my partner and our families, and set the world on fire with someone as dynamic and ambitious as I am. And, in just a few years, I would like to have some kids. Two to three wonderful, happy little people with whom I'll share all that I've learned, all that I have, and all of my love.

And that sets me apart from a lot of other guys. I truly have a need to take care of someone else, to give what I have to a family and a partner. Most guys I meet take care of themselves and are, for the most part, very self-centered. I just don't think I could live a fulfilling life without someone to share it all with. No matter how tan or buff or rich I am, no matter what kind of car I drive, and no matter how many summers I spend in Fire Island with "fabulous" people, coming home to an empty house would make it all profoundly worthless.

So if I'm so real and earthy, why all the photos of Abercrombiesque models with perfect bods and faces? Well, first of all, it's hard to find pictures of average-looking gay guys in khakis and J.Crew shirts having lunch at home with a St. Bernard at their feet. And second, I'm not that earthy. I consider myself a pretty attractive guy, and I'm just naturally interested in other pretty attractive guys. I also take care of myself, work out hard, and appreciate what aesthetics can do for a relationship, especially under the sheets (or wherever ... I'm creative). So the physical is definitely a consideration.