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MY LIFE |
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My Favorite Poems-DIE FOR LOVE- |
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My Favorite PoetsI just Love PHOTOGRAPHY
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My InspirationMy life: everything and everyone thats going on in it...My life is very interesting to think about it actually, i have to admit I do love my family but then there are just times i can't like at this time in my life where i figured out or should I say i know for a fact that im gay or to be more precise a lesbian and im 100% about it. Even though my mom keeps saying im just confused but i know im not, beacause I know I want to marry a gorgeous/beautiful girl named Claire from Chicago in my life as soon as im legal to get married. We have already proposed to each other thats wut I love the hard thing is to let my mom and dad except. My mom knows i want to marry her she knows everything about me and claire when i told her how me and claire are engaged she laughed and i told her im serious and she still laughed but I want her to take it seriously.She is still praying a guy will come along but that wont happen cuz i found the love of my life and she needs to kno that.My dad still didnt believe that i was bisexual in the first place but know im a lesbian to another step in my life.Id have to say i never really enjoyed my life and what i mean by that is that i was very suicidal i never enjoyed anything til my luv claire came into it and i thank her and love her for it.I wanted to kill myself constantly therapy and counseling didnt work obviously the dissapointment and depression took over me and nothing could help but one thing of course "CLAIRE" she helped me so much she really is the reason why I am living right now.Til now i am in a love triangle with another girl Quanisha at my school shes younger than me by one year but anywayz i had a crush on her before then stopped then it came back and it wont leave I love her and im just so confused...because the damn chick is sending me mixed messages that i understand but the question is does she...the girl likes me shes just not used the gay community i guess she cant admit it i mean she rabled on and on to my friend on how hot she thinks i am tell me the chick is not confused but newayz all i have to say about this is "Being stuck between twoo worlds is a bitch" and to be honest i have been having dreams about her in a close a relationship way, even though i dont mind cuz feelings are being builded up for her again...have to admit never been so happy since the last time i talked to Claire i still do love claire dont get me wrong its jus another girl breaking into my life and taking over me with herself. Im jus scared that ill fall in love,to get to close/attracted to get hurt once more and hurt claire at the same time so ill jus stay with claire cuz i want and need to and be safe at the same time with a girl i kno will alwayz love me no matter what and feels the same way about me the way i do with her.Its like Quanisha is stalking me in my head constantly 24/7 the weird thing is one of my friends told me one day that the letter Q was in my eyes I was shocked but happy to kno thatmy thoughts about her and for her finally paid off it wouldve been better if vice-versa (*wink*) just imagine lolz...To think about it Iwant her to saty in my life forever to just see her gorgeous face everyday is just fine w/ me to have her all to myself would not jus bring pleasure but happiness *smile* I know its a sin to the same sex but to me i jus see it as another version of love..I just LOVE HER!!!...sometimes i feel that thinking of her 24/7 is like the only thing im capable of to me its my own personalized entertainment that brings a huge smile to my face (believe its not that easy)i have to say she does have the cutest/hottest laugh and smile anyone could have..Well somedayz have past by and of course the Lesbian that i am can figure out if a person is gay/lesbian/bisexual or not just by looking at them..well i took some examinations of Quanisha and the girl is gay.She even on the bus but not technically she acted kinda weird or offended when my friend said she'll blow her spot up..Well anywayz i asked my friend about Queanisha cause shes the only one that knows everything about and i asked and she said of course "She's a lesbian,she likes girls"...I knew it..I was kinda pissed off but happy at the same time cuz she lied to me and im happy cuz now i have another chance (*wink*)...So on monday 3/8/04 I will try this again but if i get the same answer im done with and im back w/ my one and only Claire.The thing is I can't believe im doing this i keep going on and on about how I dont want to hurt her meanwhile im doing it and im full of guilt..If i lose Claire out of my life there would be no reason for me to live and back to suicide I go.If i can't have her ill kill myself im serious..Its done for me...
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Creative Writing Links |
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My Favorite Products |
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