* ;; [save me] - * ;; [i will catch your fall, whenever you call]

Zac lay down on his bed and sighed. "I hate it here."

I sat next to him. "Aw, c'mon, it's so beautiful out here."

Let me introduce myself. I'm Christina. The Hansons, a couple of friends and I had rented out a house on some island. Kind of like Real World. These people are my best friends. I've known them as long as I can remember.

Zac sighed again. "It's beautiful but I hate it. Everyone always ignores me."

I looked at him. "I don't ignore you."

He stayed silent.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him up. "Get up, let's go for a walk."

"Okay," he replied, looking down at his shoes.

We walked out the door and onto the beach and started walking along the shoreline.

Zac slipped an arm around my waist and put his head on my shoulder. I stroked his hair lovingly. "What makes you feel so ignored?" I asked.

"I don't know, everything," he replied. "I mean Tay and Ike don't ever let me talk in interviews, my family just think of me as another son or sibling that lives with them. It's the same everywhere."

"Well I'm sure all your friends are there for you," I said.

"I never get to see my friends," Zac said with a frown. "Sometimes I forget I even have any friends."

"But Ike and Tay are going through the same thing," I persisted. "They'd understand"

"Yeah, they really understand," Zac huffed. "They think of me as the 'little brother'. They don't think I'll understand anything."

I looked out at the water, running out of optimistic things to say. So I changed the subject.

"Wow, I would love to spend a night out here."

"You see that black thing out there?" Zac pointed.

I squinted. "Yeah."

"That's my tent," he smiled at me. "I've already been spending nights here."

"Really?" I looked at him and laughed.

"Yeah," he laughed with me.

We got up to the tent and he crawled inside. I stayed at the entrance and peeked in.

"Nice place ya got here," I giggled.

He looked around and laughed a little. "I know."

I made my way in and sat next to him.

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, listening to the water crash outside.

"Hey would you mind if I spent the night here with you?" I asked, breaking the silence. "Just tonight."

He stared at me, looking surprised. "With me?"

I gave him a blank expression. "Well, sure, I wouldn't want to be out here alone."

He smiled shyly. "It's a little cramped in here though."

I lay down on my side and returned his smile. "I don't mind."

He lay down on his side as well, facing me. "Are you cold?"

I shook my head. "Nah. Are you?"

"No, I'm used to it." He turned over on his back and looked up at the top of the tent.

I looked at him thoughtfully, not saying anything. He'd always seemed so distant. He wasn't the hyper little kid he was back in the Mmmbop days. I never wanted to see a person like that turn into what Zac was now. I was worried about him and what he might have done to himself. He was a close friend and I couldn't risk losing him. I wanted so much for him to know that I was there for him, but sometimes it didn't go through to his brain. He always thought ht was just onloved and unwanted and I wanted more than anything to change it because I did love him.

My gaze had turned into a stare, and he looked at me uncomfortably. "What is it?"

I looked away quickly. "Oh, um, nothing."

"Okay.." He raised an eyebrow at me.

I tucked my hair behind my ear. I looked back up at him but I saw that he'd fallen asleep.

I laughed a little to myself. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and lay next to him, brushing his hair out of his face. I turned on my other side, away from him and exhaled.

He slowly put his arm over my waist. I smiled and put my hand over his, intertwining our fingers.

Soon after, I drifted off to sleep.

But suddenly, Zac woke up yelling.

I sat up, on the verge of a heart attack. "What's the matter?!"

He looked at me. His hair was messed up, he was sweaty and red in the face. He calmed down. "I.. I had a bad dream."

He lay back down and took a deep breath.

I, however, had lost my sleep so I sat there. "What was the dream about?" I asked quietly.

"Well," he started. "I.. um.. I died."

I looked away, feeling worse than I did before.

"Zac, I'm worried about you."

He looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Because, I mean, you're so far away all the time, you never seem to be happy anymore."

"No one ever cares enough to think about me."

I sighed, obviously not getting through to him. "I just.. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"I won't," he reassured me.

"All right," I said.

"So," he said, adding a smile, as if he wanted to further convince me he was okay. "do you like anyone in the house?"

I laughed. "I like everyone in the house."

"No I mean like."

"Ohh," I smiled knowingly. "Like.. well no not really, everyone's just my friend. But I do like you."

He looked at me, surprised. "What?"

I bit my lower lip. "I mean, um, you're so easy to talk to."

"Oh.." he played with his fingers.

I lay back down and tapped my fingers on the floor of the tent.

Zac moved his hand and brushed it against mine purposely.

I looked at him and smiled.

He smiled back, before leaning over me and looking into my eyes.

I looked back into his, losing myself in those big sad caramel pools of mystery.

Then he leaned down and kissed me softly, for the first time in all the years I'd known him.

I was startled, but I couldn't help but kiss back. In my head I was screaming at myself to stop because he was my friend, I didn't want anything to ruin that. But I couldn't stop.

Finally he pulled away. "I-I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to.."

"Nono," I said, leaning up and pecking him lightly on the lips. "I don't mind."

He lay back down, and I realized our hands were still barely touching each other so I took his in mine.

"Chris, would you ever be with someone you were just good friends with?" he asked me quietly.

"Depends on who he is," I looked over at him.

"Okay then.. imagine he was.." he said. "..imagine he was me."

I didn't say anything at first. "Well, you're one of my best friends.. but.. I might." I added with a grin.

He grinned back at me. "Is that a yes or a no?"

"A maybe so," I said, with a smirk.

He laughed. "So should I be hopeful?"

"Not too much," I said, punching him playfully on the arm.

Right after I'd done it, I knew I shouldn't have because that's when he decided to tickle me.

I laughed until I thought I was going to cry, then he stopped, and lay beside me, still laughing.

I looked at him, happy to see that old toothy grin of his.

We lay there for a while, trying to control our giggles, until finally we quieted down.

He propped himself up on his elbow so he could look at me. "I'm gonna do something I've been wanting to do since I first saw you."

I barely had time to blink before he kissed me again. It wasn't like last time though, it was deeper.

I brought my hand up to his face, then to the back of his neck, kissing back passionately.

He pulled away and smiled at me, wrapping his arms around my waist tightly, burying his face in my hair.

"I'm not gonna let you go now," he said, grinning at me.

I laughed a little. "Good, don't."

I'm guessing that right then, we both fell asleep, because I woke up to the call of seagull.

I tried to get up, but Zac still had his arms around me. I tried to wake him up.

"Zac, wake up, I think it's morning," I said in his ear.

"Eh?" he said, opening up his eyes a crack, loosening his grip on me.

I got up and looked outside.

Sure enough, there was a beautiful sunrise dawning over the water.

I looked over my shoulder at Zac, who was still having some trouble opening his eyes all the way. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up and out of the tent and onto the sand.

"Watch the sunrise with me."

And that's my story. It's the first memory I thought of as I looked at Zac laying in the open casket a couple of years after.

I was with Zac for the rest of his short life, and I truly believe I finally pulled him out of the gutter and made him happy. I never ever could stand seeing him as depressed as he was.

I wiped a tear from my cheek and walked outside. The rain was really coming down.

Hurriedly, I made my way to my car.

As I was driving, a million thoughts were swimming around in my head, emotions in a swirl.

I do love Zac. I always did, always will. And I know he loves me too.